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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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I get so mad, IM REJECTED help....
    #4400398 -

Hi everyone I'm still in high school, I just turned 18, and I am having some problems. My mind isn't thinking straight, when I was a little kid I was sooo happy and I enjoyed doing many things. I always was the best at the things I did noone was better. Also I had a ton of friends. It seems once I hit puberty I started getting all this negative thinking. Now there is a "cool" kid thing, and my friends always reject me. They say I'm not cool enough to go to a party with them, they are all caught up in them self's. When ever they reject me it makes me extremely mad, I know I shouldn't care but some reason my mind wants to. It seems like no one really likes me that much, but I want to be liked sooo much. I don't know what to do. Now the interactive things I do I cant get as good at them because I feel like I cant. I feel like I'm worthless. I have a future path in my life but all these "wanting to be excepted" feelings are interrupting me from gaining my happiness. I just want to love myself even if people reject me. Being rejected is the worst feeling, I don't know how to change it :frown:

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4400450 -

Those people are not your friends. Dump them.

Take it easy on yourself. Don't judge yourself based on what others think of you. Those people are jerks.

Keep perspective. You are in high school. You will soon be free to move from that little pond and find people like you who share your interests. There is a wider world waiting for you just around the corner..Hang in there, bro. You are almost home free!  :laugh: :sun:


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“The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought.”  -- Rudiger Dornbusch

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4400459 -

turn those negative energies into projects, creativity, collecting, researching, cooking, skateboarding, whatever you do.

do what you do for fun, not for being the best.
if you arent living your life for your own entertainment, then who or what exactly are you living for?

being rejected can represent being simply misunderstood, just because someone cannot read into you from your clothes, social status, or trophies on the wall, you know?

people are shallow, and they are crude and mean. they obviously want you to feel rejected and hurt, because thats how kids are. especially those stuck up ones.

rise up above all the bullshit, and make art, and music, and popcorn, and movies...post on the shroomery, eat some psyches, find Jah, and love yourself (not particularly in that order)

good luck, and dont worry, be happy!


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A plethora of music aspirations control my temptations of future revelations beyond "now". The percussion, and the heart beat of my love and devotion. The rhythm goes beyond, prying into the third eye, releasing the creativity held so far inside. The melodicies, through the out of tune pianos and broken classical guitars...there lies a beauty. A beauty as prevelent as the fire inside. To release these energies is pure ecstacy, to deveop these gifts is sacred. The vocality, so pure as can be, shying away from herself, lies within me. For the underlying serenitity, this is what I live for. I plea for harmony, and nothing more. Music equals love. Creation of love leads to the procreativity of the World, and it's spirals and puddles prevailing.

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4400500 -

Good stuff from an article I read. I think some of it applies to your situation and most people here would probably enjoy reading the full article. (Link at the end.)

"If I could go back and give my [eighteen] year old self some advice, the main thing I'd tell him would be to stick his head up and look around. I didn't really grasp it at the time, but the whole world we lived in was as fake as a Twinkie. Not just school, but the entire town. Why do people move to suburbia? To have kids! So no wonder it seemed boring and sterile. The whole place was a giant nursery, an artificial town created explicitly for the purpose of breeding children.

Where I grew up, it felt as if there was nowhere to go, and nothing to do. This was no accident. Suburbs are deliberately designed to exclude the outside world, because it contains things that could endanger children.

And as for the schools, they were just holding pens within this fake world. Officially the purpose of schools is to teach kids. In fact their primary purpose is to keep kids locked up in one place for a big chunk of the day so adults can get things done. And I have no problem with this: in a specialized industrial society, it would be a disaster to have kids running around loose.

What bothers me is not that the kids are kept in prisons, but that (a) they aren't told about it, and (b) the prisons are run mostly by the inmates. Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits."

Link to the full article:
http://paulgraham.com/nerds.html


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I am what Willis was talkin' bout.

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: Jellric]
    #4400828 -

Man, you should copy this post and start another topic with it!  :thumbup: Maybe in S&P? It's that great!


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"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4400840 -

I know that it hurts, bro. Nothing is worse than being alone. And I know it seems like right now you are going to be alone for the rest of your life, because the people around you aren't really your friends, and you can't be yourself around them. But there is a silver lining to this, because the "cool kids" aren't being themselves either, they just do a better job of faking at being something that they are not. That is what coolness is all about at that age, pretending to be a certain way because it gets you attention.

But believe me from reading your post you are describing what high school was like for
every decent, happy, social adult I know. In high school, fitting in seems like the world, and the people who fit in best, and get the most girls, seem to have everything. But believe me when you get out here in the real world, it all switches. The people who got in the habit of pretending to be cool all the time are suddenly revealed as the empty liars that they truly are, and no one wants to be around them. They lead sad pathetic lives wondering why it can't be as fun as high school. While people like yourself who learn the value of loving themselves despite what others think become the most respected, admired, and the least confused.

There is nothing wrong with you because you want to fit in. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you don't fit in to the artificial little scene that your peers have created. In fact it is a good sign. I don't know how helpful this is while you're still surrounded by that scene, but if you don't let other people define you, know what you want and are patient, the world will be yours.

In the meantime, you might try and find someone who you can talk to about this. You've always got supporters at the shroomery, but there is probably someone close by who is in the same boat. Try and find that person, and try to relate to each other. It is never too late to make a true and influential friend.

Best of luck  :cool:


--------------------
:hst:
Society in every form is a blessing,
but government at its best is but a necessary evil 
- Thomas Paine

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: redtailedhawk]
    #4400889 -

Man, you should copy this post and start another topic with it!

Done.  :smile:

I will add the part I posted in this thread after the discussion gets rolling..


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I am what Willis was talkin' bout.

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: Jellric]
    #4402022 -

i believe feelings are the way the heart tells the head what it needs to be happy. those feelings may only go away when you find people who accept you.

i think part of accepting oneself is accepting one's feelings.

if you find people to accept you, then someone comes along and rejects you, it's probably not going to hurt as much since you won't need to depend on that person's opinion.


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"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4402324 -

Don't worry. You'll eventually find your niche with some group of people who aren't worried about who or what is cool, or who think that you are cool.

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: Twister]
    #4402568 -

get a girlfriend , they can make you feel good


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http://www.bruceeisner.com/ -Creating a Sensible Culture

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4404539 -

Those people aren't your friends. Drop those fuckers.

Wanting to be excepted is normal. Don't be normal, be yourself. Don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks except for you.
Get out and socialize with more new people. You'll find friends that are right for you.


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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: liveby]
    #4405529 -

liveby said:
get a girlfriend , they can make you feel good


Thats another problem, I get rejected by girls to. I know im not bad looking but they seem not to like my peronality or soomething :frown: or maybe im just unlucky.

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4405619 -

Stop being a pussy! no offense, just trying to shake you up abit
Your lack of confidence is your problem. You have to start liking yourself before others will like you. Who gives a fuck what anybody else thinks.


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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4405986 -

jimmyg080282 said:
liveby said:
get a girlfriend , they can make you feel good


Thats another problem, I get rejected by girls to. I know im not bad looking but they seem not to like my peronality or soomething :frown: or maybe im just unlucky.


You're not unlucky. You're the reason girls don't like you. Like Dreamer said, you have to like yourself before others will like you. Think Ferris Bueler.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4406120 -

jimmyg080282 said:
liveby said:
get a girlfriend , they can make you feel good


Thats another problem, I get rejected by girls to. I know im not bad looking but they seem not to like my peronality or soomething :frown: or maybe im just unlucky.


Dreamer hit the nail on the head. Chicks like a confident dude.....

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4406502 -

Hey dude

If you dont already know, going to a gym can boost your confidence and self-respect (?) 2x. I never had a confidence problem but I feel GREAT since I started working out seriously 7 months ago.
I think it could the body creating more testosterone because of working out or something like that, you can almost feel it. HAving the impression you're constently improving is a good thing too, along with the constant energy. :smirk:
I could go on and on but its late. Good luck :thumbup:

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: Gus]
    #4411752 -

Thanks everyone I appreciate it but my question is still not answered. I know I shouldn't care about other people and about being excepted but I still DO. And I don't know how to stop, its like an automatic reaction in my mind about being excepted. None excepts me, and I get real mad. How do I stop this "WANT"?

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
    #4412205 -

repeat to yourself that you dont care until you really dont care.
It could be long but it'll eventually work

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: Gus]
    #4418217 -

i believe lying to yourself is just going to make you feel worse

i understand that this want causes you pain because you don't feel accepted

the best way to soothe the want is to find people to accept you.

i do not think you can surgically remove your wants. wanting to be accepted is natural and i think everyone experiences it on some level. it's not your fault you feel this way. humans are social animals. sadly this can cause intense pain and anger for anyone who feels rejected.


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger

Edited by crunchytoast (07/18/05 10:02 AM)

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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4418240 -

i know exactly how you feel...

at least you still get mad...

just wait until you only get sad...

that's when it gets bad...

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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