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Yarry
Old Timer
Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 23,762
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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: jimmyg080282]
#4418303 - 07/18/05 08:47 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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i was 100% where you were in HS man. Drop those "friends" because they just arent. Be yourself and find a creative outlet for your feelings, i used to write poetry.
You also have to remember that you are only in HS, and while your problems are bad, they only last so long. In HS i was a HUUUUUUUUUGE loser, and always depressed. Now that im out in college im actually looked at as cool, i love what im doing, and my life has never been better.
Just be yourself, you know deep down who you are
-------------------- Grumpy Old Man.
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: crunchytoast]
#4418522 - 07/18/05 10:30 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
crunchytoast said: i believe lying to yourself is just going to make you feel worse
i understand that this want causes you pain because you don't feel accepted
the best way to soothe the want is to find people to accept you.
i do not think you can surgically remove your wants. wanting to be accepted is natural and i think everyone experiences it on some level. it's not your fault you feel this way. humans are social animals. sadly this can cause intense pain and anger for anyone who feels rejected.
Crunchytoast research how the brain works, Gus Is right , many people misunderstand this concept but I know for a FACT that GUS's way works. We create our own reality, experience, blablahblah. Now why couldn't we change it? Its not surgically removing your wants, its changing them. "Wants" are built up nerowebs build from past experiences, so why couldn't he build a new neroweb with a different "want", the "want" to except everything, and love everyone? We've been taught all our experiences from the past so then why don't we be the teachers now. He would have to start creating the experience right now and and start replacing his current thought pattern with a new one. Many people look down at this because they believe they cant and don't put in the effort. It takes some time but it can be life changing, its just like getting good at a sport or hobby, it takes practice. But its all the same thing in your brain, just a "different experience, creating a different neroweb". Now Jimmy do what Gus said and try to stay relaxed, learn to except the negative feelings. Keep repeating to your self that "It doesn't matter" and think of nothing els, and yes you will still care and the more you stay relax the more it will hurt inside but that is good. Your mind is going through a withdraw and that is your nerowebs changing, and before you know it everday it will be easier not to care. Your goal is to get good at excepting others, and yes IT IS POSSIBLE.
Edited by p4kSouL (07/18/05 05:05 PM)
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crunchytoast
oppositional
Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 17 years, 2 days
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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: p4kSouL]
#4419916 - 07/18/05 04:44 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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i've done lots of research on how the brain works, thank you i have a bachelor's in psychology. my curriculum was heavily research based. what i've said here is based on numerous conversations with psychology professors including experts on emotion and practicing psychotherapists who have all told me that people have needs and there's no getting around it.
this is also based on my own experiences observing people.
regarding neurowebs- i would say a new experience adds layers to "neurowebs"- you don't "overwrite" things. you can see this with a neural network in how each new training session slightly modifies the weights- the values of the weights of the synapses are a sum/product of all the previous values.
there are birds who, if you dont give them the material to make a nest, will start to pick out their own feathers to make a nest.
if a person is kept in solitary confinement for many years, they start to keep pets like spiders or mice and talk to them- people have a social need and they find things to fill that. tom hanks in castaway is another example. there's different perception here- mouse is a friend, a volleyball is a friend, but there's the same social need behind these relationships.
how we perceive things does affect how we experience them. but people have needs, and social needs are one of them. it's like saying 'i'm not hungry'. you don't stop feeling hungry.
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: crunchytoast]
#4419975 - 07/18/05 05:02 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Sorry CrunchyToast for doubting your intelligence about the brain but I do agree to a certain extent that human beings are made to be social. I have no problem with that at all. What bothered me is that the fact you said that you basically cant change your current experience and current "addictions" of life. Lets say you really like this girl but you cant get her what are you going to do? In your terms you said find another girl that will totally except you which is totally right but there is other alternatives. Lets say you want to focus on not liking this girl anymore. The "like/want" is an addiction your brain has created and it is possible to change. Repeating your self, not necessarily lieing to yourself but reprogramming your brain to not be an alienated to the current addiction. There are many people out there that except people for what they are and love there life, why cant we do it? As I said before becoming good at excepting others.
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crunchytoast
oppositional
Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 17 years, 2 days
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Re: I get so mad, IM REJECTED help.... [Re: p4kSouL]
#4420185 - 07/18/05 06:02 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
There are many people out there that except people for what they are
i agree that this is important. i wonder if part of this means taking the wants and likes people have for what they are, since these things are part of us. this gives a person freedom because they dont have to use up energy keeping wants and feelings out of awareness.
no matter what want a person has, they still have the power to choose to act on that want or not- and how to act on it, if they do.
-------------------- "consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger
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