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Teh Cat....
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Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,908
Loc: My Youniverse....
Last seen: 10 years, 2 days
Character Tests of: Misinterpretation, Intent, and Confrontation....
    #3829239 - 02/24/05 09:12 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Today seemed very much to be a strong test of my character, and after I left work, the more drained I felt the closer I got to home....    Ironically, there were two different incidents in my drive that were "close calls" to actually having an accident....  Even after my day, I kept a cool level head - being thankful for avoiding the accidents, and did not get pissed or mad, but I do very much feel emotionally drained now....  Not depressed, but just kinda~ stunned by it all....   

It is very easy to stay focused and level headed here online because you have time to proofread and reflect before you reply to a given topic - plus there is the added comfort of "not being face to face"....  I DO however "walk the talk" of my "personality" as presented here....  I have been going thru a LOT of changes in my personal growth area of understanding how to more relate to other people and show understanding and compassion for my fellow friends/work acquaintances - but my intent has never changed from the positive stance that I have....  And the ideas, they are flowing like unyielding rivers that are forever seeking the oceans, coming from out of nowhere, and all seem to be based on simple observation, and simplifying sometimes complex problems....    And I am not meaning to toot my horn - at all, I just don't understand in a way where all of this is coming from.... 

The last month or so has been some of the most "meaningful" and "validating" days of my life, and it is very exciting to know that I CAN actually make a *profound* difference or impact on the world (as perceived by myself), or at least the small parts of the world that my small hands can touch - and hopefully all (so far) in a positive way....  It seems to be very self satisfying just knowing - as the immediate people around me *seem* to share a heightened "spirit" from my attempts at humor and positive intents....  I also learned today that my intents can be seen by others as "weird" and "disrespectful" by the people that do not know me as well....  Even with benign and positive intents at making "humorous" comments, the people that do not know me seemed to focus and perceive my humor as "bad" and "inappropriate" in a business environment....

Character tests:

1)  Misinterpretation of Intent....
  Last night I sent a "harmless" e-mail to my boss, and his two bosses pointing out how a new idea that someone else came up with is going to save a ton of time and money, and has the potential to draw income to "sell" that process to other similar, and non-similar businesses in the industry....  I had absolutely nothing to gain by my actions, I was making light in a well worded e-mail describing in detail how the company could profit by these ideas....    At the end, I made a clever and humorous "sales pitch/slogan" that was most obviously a joke, and was enjoyed by my friends upon showing it to them....  But it was not funny at all to 2 of the people I sent it too....    The company I work for is struggling right now, and out of all the positive and *profound* possibility of helping the company have a new source of income, the total essence of my e-mail was lost to a simple joke perceived to be negative and disrespectful....  :frown:   

I was called into a closed door meeting where I was confronted by two of the people I sent it too as soon as I got to work....    My boss was on my side, but I did have to explain my intents fully as we had not talked before the meeting....  I explained the humor within the "joke", and they did laugh it up for a bit....  The person that found most offense to my e-mail did not participate, and had his door shut all day....  But I was told how it was not appropriate in the least bit that I make jokes in our business environment of very individually creative people - ironically after a meeting last week that was brought to the forefront that we all should do what we can to boost moral within the company....  :confused:

I told them simply that after the MANY years of working for the "close knit" company that I considered them my "work family", and I would never think twice about sending an e-mail like that to any one of my "real family members" and fear that they would find fault in my words, much less "disrespect" or "weirdness"....  I had to completely swallow my ego (however big or small it may be, I honestly had no problems doing this) and apologize for my actions - even them fully knowing my intents....  I was then sternly told that I needed to stay focused on work (which I am), and to show full restraint in making humor in the workplace - and that I was not necessarily "in trouble".... 

After all of that, I spoke with my boss for a bit, and we lightened up the whole situation with "humor"....!  :lol:    Thru this whole process, I had no ill will, nor did I think I was above these "unwritten" rules - as they do pay me for my working for them....  I was troubled for a bit that I could be misinterpreted, but I did not dwell on it whatsoever, and happily went to my office to work....    :smile:

2)  Confrontation....
  I am a "creator" as well as a "leader" with people officially working "under me", but I have ALWAYS considered them peers, as I still do the same work as they do, I just have to manage the group as well....  There is one guy that has shown to be very insecure in his performance, and does make a lot of simple mistakes that would be cause for much loss....  I have to check and correct his work....  This causes MUCH tension in him towards me, and it is easy to see when he "has a chip on his shoulder" about ANYTHING....  He shows no restraint in showing his negative emotions towards something, and it is known by the people that work with him to "be careful" when working with him....  I do not like conflict at all....  But I have butted heads with him in the past....  The rift *seems* to have been somewhat smoothed over for the past few months with my drive for a positive environment.... 

Today, there was a big mistake that was brought to light on one of his jobs that needed a lot of fixing....  I had checked this job a while ago and noticed the "wrong", but it could have also been perceived as a "creative difference", so I decided to let it go and not confront the situation - not seeing what effects it *could* have in the future....  :shake:    This proved to be a big mistake on my part for not pointing it out for correction....  So this job was in its final stages, and the bad part is that this job had been duplicated and used for two more projects....  So much more was at stake....  I was told that I had to confront the situation - to which I was apprehensive at first, but decided to take on the challenge in my "new character" to see if I could handle it correctly.... 

His face turned beat red from the moment that he realized that I was (very tactfully) explaining the mistake, it's effects, and all the stuff that had to be corrected....  I did explain that I had seen this when I checked the job, but I had not taken the time to come up with reasons to why it was wrong - in a kind of fear of butting heads with him....  He said that he had noticed it when he did it, but didn't really think much of it either....  So, all was well, and I went back to my office *thinking* that it went pretty damn good, and I was actually proud of myself.... 

3)  Misinterpretation of Intent, brought on by Confrontation....
  Then I started noticing his obvious rustling and "huffing and puffing" coming from his office....  It is what he does when he is mad, the tell tale sign....    How could he be mad...?  I didn't see what he could be mad about....?  This went on for about 15min, and he stopped by my office for me to check another one of his jobs....  He would not make eye contact, and I then knew he was mad at me....  So I asked him what was wrong....  To which he said that he felt that I had treated him like a child as a parent would and this had offended him....  I was shocked for a moment, but gathered my courage and thoughts to settle this in the most positive and honest way I could think of....  I pointed out MY flaw to him that I had feared confrontation with him, and that if he took offense to anything I said that perhaps it was misinterpreted for a slightly heightened anxiety level within me to have this confrontation with him....  He finally looked me in the eyes to which I apologized for anything I could have said to come across as treating him like a child....  I then started to go into how I didn't want to have created a rift between us over my perceived inability to handle this confrontation correctly - to which he stopped me....  He quickly apologized, and said that maybe his perception was flawed in my judgment of looking down upon him....  The mood QUICKLY changed to a positive, and we joked a bit before he left....  I reflected in astonishment for a bit, and I got a few more things done before lunch....  He was calm for the rest of the day, and we did end up working on something together, and it was apparent that he was not mad anymore....  WWwwhhheeeewwww.....!    :smile:   

So as it were, this day had 3 separate confrontations caused from "letting a little mistake go thru", and other's "misinterpreted intents" of my seemingly "strange humor"....  I freely swallowed all ego to deal with these problems, and two of the three made for a humbling realization about perception, and misinterpreted intents - and how to deal with them *effectively*....  One confrontation seemed to lead to one more....  And noted that in "evening out the field" by openly pointing out my own flaws, it *seems* as though it quickly brought balance to the situation, and the negative "feelings" *perceived* were smoothed out in the face of confrontation....    Had all of this happened back only 1 year ago, I might have let the negativity get the best of me, and I would not be sitting here without a red face from my own lack of self confidence, confusion, and self doubt....  It is strange to think of one's own self growth without only seeing the positives....  But as it *seems*, the more I realize that I am flawed, the more positive each outcome gets in the face of indifference and confrontation....    To "talk about how you live" is different than actually being aware of "walking that talk of how you live" in real life situations....    :smile:    And if I am going to change the world, I guess I would have to start from within first....  :wink:

In this challenging day of "lessons learned", it made me think of the people here at the Shroomery, and how my humor *might* be perceived by others as "disrespectful" or negative....  One person that comes to mind in particular is Swami....  Perhaps my intents in "humor" were taken to be perceived as negative intentions....  If so, I openly apologize if there are any hard feelings towards anything that might have offended you in my attempts at humor....  It is noted that you have never attacked me or ANY of my thoughts in learning about my Spirituality, and that I do appreciate....    I have learned from you and your way of doing things thru your character....  I came here to find out what I could learn about this thing we call life, as perhaps that is why everyone is here (or there)....  Different angles of perception from many different peoples....  The sharing of thought to find growth, or to find a simple reason to expound upon one's growth within - even if by different means than "my way"....

Heck, reading this LONG ASS POST would be a character test in itself....!!!    :lol:    CRRRRrrrriiiiiiiiipes~....!    :eek:


I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."


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