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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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losing touch with life
    #370875 -

i just turned 18
and i have this fear that my mind is going to grow old and i will not be able to see the beauty in things, and all of what i feel now will seem silly.. the ideas of knowing my true self and believing everything revolves around nature and expression and music, will all be lost..

can any older folks assure me that I will be fine as long as i remember who i am or what not?

i dont want this to be known as the phase in my life where i had my head in the clouds and was wasting my time with childish thoughts and taking drugs

scared...

any support is welcome..

I get bored, I get bored, I get bored...


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rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin high on drugs.

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #370884 -

the only advice i have for you is...dont have kids.
everyone i know stopped taking drugs because they where gonna have kids....and i understand because there are plenty reasons to stop.(if your not "true" to psychadelics)...you know what i mean.
by the way nice name and quote..."hey vanity, this viles not god anymore"

WE CANT STOP HERE!!!!....THIS IS BAT COUNTRY

life.....its sexually transmitted and always fatal.


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TRIPLE DIPPED!?!?!?!

hey, kid.... you wanna buy some lsd?? -me

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: I_AM_THE_WALRUS]
    #371055 -

meditate...will work whatever shit is in your head.

peace, happiness, love, girls, joy, euphoria, warmth, fuzzy, girls, touch, feeling, girls.
-me


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peace, happiness, love, girls, joy, euphoria, warmth, fuzzy, girls, touch, feeling, girls.
-me

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: I_AM_THE_WALRUS]
    #371158 -

I have a kid, and I am the biggest stoner I know of! 8-D``

As for the original question. Always look for the truth in things, and don't get caught up in the petty mind games that are ever present through out life. You will always have your 'head in the clouds' then. ;-)

Hydro has spoken!
Please! Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!

Edited by Hydro on 08/13/01 03:41 PM.



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Hydro has spoken!
Please! Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #371675 -

i sometimes get thoughts like that but i wash them away with a healthy dose of Vitamin LSD

im not going to have kids, 1)the responisibilities 2)the heartaches 3) etc etc

OH YEAH, 4)because i've been doing E. now i am unclear whether E will possibly fuck up my kids but i'm not taking a chance.

We're all MADD here...


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So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #372175 -

The best way i can suggest to get over this, is to shag four chicks a night for a week.



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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #372284 -

Poor thing!
Listen. I've just turned 40. I have a 5 year old, a house, a wife and 2 dogs. I started a little younger than you and I'm fine. Again, that was in the early 70's, my friend. Observe caution and those around you. You have nothing to prove to anyone besides yourself. Be true to your family ; ie. parents and siblings and you'll be fine. Don't let asshole friends bring you down. That's probably your greatest adversary.

Bullfrog



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The bus came by, and I got on.......
|| Grateful Dead ||

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: Zen Peddler]
    #372285 -

why having kids is incompatible with entheogens use???
Of course having kids modify your life style in some ways, but this doesn't mean that you have to stop all the things you like to do...
anyway...life changes every day, what you like today maybe you'll hate tomorrow...and the opposite.
Just let the life flow, and take what is important for you....
i don't have kids actually, but i'll be dad soon, and really i think that when you son says for the first time "dad" is best than ever drug you can take....because is something that you did...it comes from you...not a toy, a new stereo or a superdeluxe car...
enjoy your life as it comes...that's my best advice:)

IL_FUNGO_SACRO la coltivazione, gli enteogeni, in italiano
Support the FSR

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #372372 -

This post has got me thinking.....

I'm 18 years old as well, but already I have a VERY cynical view of the world. Everything and everyone I see...all I feel is disgust. I don't hate everything, in fact in real life I'm probably one of the nicest people you'd meet. But already my friends and I complain like old men about the government, music, media, politics, weather, economy, people, etc... which leads me to the question....

WHAT THE HELL WILL I BE LIKE WHEN I ACTUALLY AM OLD AND BITTER?

____________________
???-F?tter mein Ego!-???


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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sHemp13]
    #373624 -

I'm not really sure if it does get better, sHemp13, as far as being pissed of by the fucking stupid things govts do, all the intolerance and greed we see eveywhere in society, and I'm 33 now & still cynical to a certain extent.
But don't you think all those things you mentioned are also indicative of a highly developed social conscience, someone who thinks of others and is concerned about the state of the world; not just obsessed with just building up their share portfolios and trampling the more unfortunate underfoot??

I know which sort of person I'd rather be........you just have to resist all the shit in the world by being a decent human being; that's all anyone can do - for the positive influence on your friends,surroundings and those you come into contact with who deserve your respect.

BUT I agree that it does get you down and quite fucking angry sometimes 'tho! :mad:


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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #411997 -

I too turned 18 not to long ago and had the same overwelming feelings. I talk mith my mother about these feelings, she was concerned because she has had a mental condition her whole life and was afraid that I to had it. She gave me the option of talking with a docter and getting on the same medication she was on. I had been stuggling for years about being unhappy but I wanted to beat it, beat this problem I had. As i began to define the problem I saw that I analyzed everything from what I said the second before or the hour before or the year before. I couldn't just live by the moment. I realized that I was much more materialistic then I thought I was, I saw that what others thought about me mattered too much in my life, and i saw that it was so important to take care of yourself. I made goals in my life that I needed to achieve, I learned to love myself, and love others for who they were. I still get into slums of life but I remember just a few things:
My mother told me: to laugh at life.
I told myself: to smile, a smile will do wonders for anything in your life

Note: Watch American Beauty with Kevin Spacey


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Re: losing touch with life [Re: Stylee]
    #412003 -

american beauty is some patheticism

:frown: .. what was i saying..? Time for a cigarette.


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"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." John 15:5

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #412952 -

i'm about to turn 19, and although i don't think i'll look back on my younger years and think i had my head in the clouds, i think i may look back and think i was much happier then. i'm doing my best to start to change that viewpoint, but i'll tell ya, it's tough when i think about all the free time i had, and how i spent almost all of it just hangin' out with my friends doing whatever (sometimes absolutely nothing, but it was still so great)... and now i'm thrown into a world where i have to actually do some work - not that that's a bad thing... but i just hope i can find something i like and find interesting, because if i choose some random thing and it turns out to be incredibly boring/uninteresting, then that is a bad thing. anyone feel me?

? ? ? -????? O ?????-? ? ? ?
Weed Legalization Freedom Fighter
? ? ? -????? O ?????-? ? ? ?
? ??? long live the shroomery ??? ?


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┼ ··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙·· ┼
...╬π╥ ╥π╬...

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: geokills]
    #414884 -

geokills, that's exactly the reason I have put off getting myself a higher education for a time. I was sooo anxious about not choosing the "right" job. I started studying computer science though, and knew it was the wrong choice. I thought (and still do, to a certain degree) I should be doing something more creative, musical or graphical. But it turns out they do quite a bit of research on artificial intelligence, so now i'm fine with it, because that's always been an interest of mine, and I'm heading for a masters in AI now. I had never thought about working with that untill I quite accidentally discovered it here.

Point is: Whatever you do, something unexptected might turn out, and it can quite possibly be for the better...

Walum-Nitul sechu mal torval. Tiischal meddur ankat.


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--
Eternally boggled, flummoxed, bewildered and surprised.
theophagy.org

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #414977 -

you are growing up boy, you are growing up.
what you dont do during these years, you will never do again.

its up to you what you make out of all of it...

balance...

He somehow manages to breathe in his sepia, wounded-tea, liquid ambiance suspension.


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FOR LEASE: Up to 400 characters signature lot. Single owner. Great commercial opportunity.

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: Timeleech]
    #415216 -

yea i was considering comp sci, until i took a ap comp sci class at my high school and it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring.  i wouldn't want to do that everyday =/

music and art are great, but i also want something that i could get some money in... not that will make me filthy rich, but something comfortable.  AI sounds really cool, cept i have no idea what all that entails.  as for unexpected things... those are the best - i'm hoping many will come my way :wink:

?        ?  ? -????? O ?????-? ?  ?        ?
Weed Legalization Freedom Fighter
?        ?  ? -????? O ?????-? ?  ?        ?
? ???  long live the shroomery  ??? ?


--------------------

--------------------
┼ ··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙·· ┼
...╬π╥ ╥π╬...

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sevendef]
    #415422 -

> and i have this fear that my mind is going to grow old and i will not be able to see the beauty in things, and all of what i feel now will seem silly

If it happens, you'll probably feel that you've "moved on" to better things.

> the ideas of knowing my true self and believing everything revolves around nature and expression and music, will all be lost..

[sardonically] I remember those days. ;-)

> can any older folks assure me that I will be fine as long as i remember who i am or what not?

Nope. Maybe if you're lucky like me you won't even be sure if there is such a thing as a "True Self", and even if there is, whether or not it is knowable.

> i dont want this to be known as the phase in my life where i had my head in the clouds and was wasting my time with childish thoughts and taking drugs

There's nothing wrong with having your head in the clouds. I'll never forget my younger, more idealistic days of taking acid and just thinking about philosophical things all the time. It was great. I took it very seriously. People may look on such things as being sophomoric, but just remember that it's something that you enjoy. You may not be able to have fun thinking about the details of existence when you're older.

As for taking drugs, what can I say? Be careful not to hurt yourself, but have fun. Enjoy. I know I've gone way overboard in my time, and I've totally reassessed where I want drugs to be in my life, but it's not like I look back on my DXM-every-other-day phase as being a waste of my time. Just because you might come to a day when you decide that you don't want to take drugs (very often/often or) at all, doesn't mean you'll look back on your drug using days as stupid.


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Re: losing touch with life [Re: Kid]
    #415680 -

i remember being 18 and think those same things..i am only 21 now but ive learned a lot about myself since..being 18 had to be the worst point in my life though.i was confused as to what i wanted to do where i was going and what was going to happen to me..since then i have learned to relax and have fun all of the time..ive got a really good outlook on life now..after seein people die seein people all fucked up seein homeless people seein retarded people seein people with cancer etc ive come to the decision that i have got a much greater life than i had once thought..

I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,


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suddenly a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...Holy fucking shit!

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Re: losing touch with life [Re: sHemp13]
    #416111 -

"WHAT THE HELL WILL I BE LIKE WHEN I ACTUALLY AM OLD AND BITTER?"

You'll be the crotchety old fucker who doesn't give out candy on Halloween :)

There is a pleasure sure,
In being mad, which none but madmen know!

The above post is a fictional account by my left testicle Melvin.


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-------------------------------------------------
:B

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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