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OfflineHBS
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When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing
    #680633 - 06/15/02 05:12 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Whether people always fully come down after each trip is arguable, and I'll speak from my own experience with psychedelics and how they affect me day to day ... this post isn't important but I just think it's worth sharing anyway.

I first started smoking pot in late 2000, when I stopped being anti-drug and decided to experiment. I got really into pot, but as I was for most of my younger years, I was really closed-minded and thought of the world like most people do, completely objective. "A tree is a tree, nothing more."

My friend started telling me about his acid trips, and being very artistic, I was very intrigued to see a completely new world. Finally, in February of 2001, I took acid for the first time with my friend. That night was one of the most memorable experiences of my life, and from then on I could never think completely objectively anymore. Besides having a beautiful afterglow, the trip made me see everything in a whole new light. A wall I would normally just look at an excuse as a wall I would then get closer and look at the texture as close as possible and examine how it's like a landscape. It is no longer a wall, it is now a miniature landscape turned sideways.

I started getting into shrooms (among many other drugs) in the summer of 2001. My closed-mind that I had previously was now completely absolved and I just saw the world as a giant canvas in which I could "paint" the way I wanted to see it in my mind. There was no definite picture, just whatever I could find in it and what I created.

I started to get into heavier doses (which for me would be 1/8 to 3/8 dried) and had a few nightmarish experiences. These are the ones that began changing me in my daily life. One trip in particular which was on a 1/4 of EQ's in December made me lose COMPLETE contact with reality -- there was a new reality and the old one which I was in was not even a memory, it felt like I was in the TRUE reality, where everything is utterly frightening. NOTHING made sense. In the words of Yellow Submarine, "nothing is real." That's exactly how it felt. It wasn't even a fun joke, there just was nothing I could hold on to.

Since that trip (it's been 6 months now), in my sober life I have never been able to look at anything the same again. Colors always seem supernaturally bright, things "move" daily (as in, I hallucinate when I'm sober, and it's usually not mild, either. in a sense it's a "flashback" but it happens daily). Often I get into weird thought patterns, where it seems I am losing all control of myself. Sober. This sometimes turns into panic attacks.

Because of the revelations I saw on that trip, I just can't see the world like I ever used to. On the trip I realized all of life is a stage, we are all actors, and everything we use are just props. This reminds me of how fake "life" truly is. As if it is nothing more than a movie or a dream.

That trip, among others, made me lose a lot of rationalizing that I normally can do. Things are so fake and subjective to me now that it makes me feel uncomfortable. When I see a really cheesy ad for some product, for example, it looks so utterly stupid that it bothers me. When I look at the city with all of these stores with their signs and everything, it just doesn't look welcoming. It feels like my mind is somewhere where nobody else is.

Emotionally, daily I either have an extreme euphoria (that I would normally get from E) or I have an intense depression which eats at me and makes me panic, thinking I am losing my mind.

Most of what I experience can't be explained in words because they are more of feelings and can't be expressed in words.

After tripping, I didn't do too well in school because I found school to be too standardized. In 99% of my classes, all the work was just busy work that I realized has no relation to my life, and isn't even interesting. So I figured it is just completely pointless and barely ever did work (luckily I graduated). Unless I am learning something I enjoy, I don't believe in wasting most likely the only life I will ever have.

Why do I continue tripping after all the negatives? Because no matter how uncomfortable I am in my sober life sometimes after tripping, I realize that I would rather "realize" that "nothing is real" than be deluded and just think of everything completely objectively like most people do. I like to experience epic things, not just join the rat race and live the typical life with most of everything amounting to nothing.

I like exploring the deepest and most intense areas of consciousness because it is what most people barely glance at because they would rather just accept than question and explore.

In general, people shy away from me because I act really weird and do odd, sometimes very questionable acts which make people uncomfortable. Nothing bad, of course, just strange things for the sake of being strange. it gives me a great pleasure realizing I'm not like everybody else, and that I am living my life to the fullest. Rather than working and living the life that is laid out for most people (as in, living just to work and get money and a family and die), I am living the life that will bring ME the best happiness. Each person knows what makes them the happiest, yet they don't do whatever makes them happy because they are told that obligations are more important.

Anyway, I could ramble on because there are endless areas I haven't touched on, but I'll leave it at this for now.

I'd be interested in hearing comments on this.


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Offlinetoo_many_weirdos
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: HB]
    #680666 - 06/15/02 05:37 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

"Travel makes a man wiser, but less content"


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InvisibleRevelation

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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: HB]
    #680674 - 06/15/02 05:41 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Man, I know you are sick of hearing this but I can relate to what you are saying. Enough said I think.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

"There is a pleasure, sure, in being mad which none but madmen know."

"Better to burn out than to fade away"


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Offlinetoo_many_weirdos
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: HB]
    #680681 - 06/15/02 05:46 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

by the way, while i haven't felt this about any other trips, i felt that i never really came down fully from my first ever trip. it really changed me, and for many months i had a lot of tripping feelings inside of me.
anyway, now i look at trips like a book: when you trip, it's like reading a book. When it's over, you've learned something that you will carry with you for the rest of your life, and while it fades over time, those moments are forever imprinted on your psyche.


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InvisibleBoppity604
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: too_many_weirdos]
    #680685 - 06/15/02 05:47 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Very nice post...

>>Because of the revelations I saw on that trip, I just can't see the world like I ever used to.

People do not need psychedelics to have the same impact in their lives. A sudden, tragic loss in their family, health changes, life changes all spark people to realize that samsaric existence is empty and that our attachment is of our own creation. I'm glad psychedelics have helped you see things in your own life and mind that are causing positive changes...but drugs are simply that...drugs. The insight and changes you experience are in your own mind. Those realities have ALWAYS been there. For a lot of people psychedelics just "fine tune" the inner microscope to seeing into your consciousness and realizing there is no you...at least not like we've been taught to believe.

I can't recommend highly enough for trippers to learn some form of meditation. You can cultivate ego-lessness at will and your insights will be MUCH more impacting to your daily life than any trip. Don't get me wrong...I enjoy tripping too...but realize that sober single-pointed states of mind while more difficult to achieve without the aid of a drug are more easy to 'remain' in without any tension or paranoia. I personally love meditating stoned when I need to practice pure mindfulness because the weed helps me relax way faster than when I'm sober. However when I practice analytical forms of meditation or visualization methods, I always perform them sober. Meditation has such a stigma attached to it that's really misleading. Meditation is simply a tool for stabilizing the mind and thought processes/mental continuums. Meditation will only ADD to your tripping experiences and likewise tripping experiences will only add to your insight during meditations.

Love & Light,

Boppity


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OfflineHBS
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: Boppity604]
    #680706 - 06/15/02 05:59 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Good comments ...

BTW When I refer to the rest of life being fake and the rat race and all not being a realistic way to live, that is only the way I think, I am in no way trying to push my views on people, just share them. Do what makes you happy, be it work or money or ...


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OfflineJust a Punk
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: HB]
    #680918 - 06/15/02 07:53 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Heavenlyblue, as someone who has been "too far" on acid I can sort of relate to your position. After an intense cosmic view of the universe, day to day life seems pretty mundane. It takes a while to reintegrate with day to day reality. Sometimes it's too much paradigm switching .. the brain wants a stable reality perhaps.

I don't know how regularly you use psychedelics but these aftereffects usually disappear for me after I don't do them for a while.

I find the best way to cope with it is to forget anything you "know" about reality and just let it be, and experience things as they come. Hope this helps in some way, good luck and happy tripping.

peace, JaP


--------------------
-------------------------------------------------
:B


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Invisiblevkk_
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: Just a Punk]
    #681049 - 06/15/02 10:14 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

bipolar disorder -
Referred to as manic depressive illness, characterised by the occurrence of mania (euphoria) alternating with bouts of depression.


--------------------
I remember, the first time, I... smoked DMT.


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Offlinenezshoo
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: vkk_]
    #681446 - 06/16/02 07:51 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

You broke on through and didn't like what you saw. Nothing more nothing less. I think you wanted to see how it was on the other side. Like I do one day but the lesson you learned was a big one in my book but just because you think you can see through the window now don't look at life so dull.

Because in the end life is the most beatiful thing anyone can have if you take it to the max. I am sure you are a young guy and havn't experiance half of what you want to expect yet.

Goodluck on your many journeys to come I have nothing else to say.


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OfflineRoger_irrelevant
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: HB]
    #681508 - 06/16/02 08:50 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

In reply to:

Because of the revelations I saw on that trip, I just can't see the world like I ever used to. On the trip I realized all of life is a stage, we are all actors, and everything we use are just props. This reminds me of how fake "life" truly is. As if it is nothing more than a movie or a dream




we decide how "real" we want life to be; the prop, or the actor for that matter must ultimatly follow the path set by the director.

Unless a person lives a life of total seclusion that person must except that influence via external forces are part and parcel of life, the deal of humanity!
But, as I said YOU decide how "real" you want YOUR life to be, if the knowledge of this puppetlike existence bothers you I suggest you evaluate your role (who will you be the prop, the actor or the DIRECTOR) and CUT the strings.

If you do a little more soul searching mabye you'll find a meaning to this vision of puppet fakeness that is somewhat more personal and less universal (yes this world has it's problems but who's gonna have anything to say if get your own house in order first!)

Oh and the visual halucinations and panic attacks given time should subside. If you smoke cannabis take a break as it can prolong afterglow.
If you're mabye going through that adolescent period (don't mean to offend here)
then chemical imbalance is pretty much normal anyway and is very likely to contribute to the feelings of insanity.


All I can suggest is to take a long break from drugs altogher if the problems persist. All the best.



--------------------
We are the music makers, We are the dreamers of dreams...


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Offlinedalorean
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: nezshoo]
    #681529 - 06/16/02 09:03 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

this thread seems all too depressing. but thats just because the subject is based on our existance. which is a beautiful thing, but humanity has just evolved negatively and into an aweful state of living. but the natural man and vitality in a primitive state in a remarkable thing. perhaps you should set your mind on what you want out of life. now that you realized what it is in plain view, get down and dirty and start looking for things that will make your soul content. where theres a will theres a way. find your will, then let your feelings flow. "Use the force Luke!" hehe. as stupid as that sounds, it is very true! you're doing good man. usually after highschool is when people realize what life really is. don't doubt yourself and just try to be happy. good luck to ya.


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InvisibleRevelation

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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: Roger_irrelevant]
    #681580 - 06/16/02 09:24 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Sound advice.


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InvisibleBoppity604
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: Revelation]
    #682268 - 06/16/02 04:38 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

This is why I think all psychedelics should not be tried by young kids...I think you should have some "real world" experience under your belt before delving into psychedelics. That doesn't mean I don't think there aren't intellectual kids out there...there are...it just saddens me when I read bad trip reports and such because people didn't understand what they were getting into. Psychedelics are a tool...you can either heal yourself with their blade or cut yourself...it's up to you to be careful how you apply them to your life.

Love & Light,

Boppity


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InvisibleRevelation

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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: Boppity604]
    #682308 - 06/16/02 05:05 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah, I suppose it all comes down to how well we are able to integrate the trip into life.


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OfflinePsilocybicMind
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: dalorean]
    #682315 - 06/16/02 05:11 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

In reply to:

usually after highschool is when people realize what life really is



-- naw man i disagree with that im still in high school and when i trip or even on weed sometimes - i feel like i can figure people, things, problems, and basically,everything out in a flash-- my mind goes into the state of basics and everything makes perfect sense from the beginning of man to now , everything has its own... but everytime i "come down" - i forget how i understood everything so clearly-- its like u know it existed and u know its there u just cant express how or what it felt like- i dont know im starting to confuse myself now..

--
i also agree with the post of relevation
In reply to:

Man, I know you are sick of hearing this but I can relate to what you are saying. Enough said I think




i felt the same way - its just real hard to express what one is trying to.


--------------------
Suspended in the darkness of
The cool and still Boulder Creek Night
I hear the song of the cricket
And locusts and frogs
And I wonder
Is this the life of a Mushroom

- - - Barbara E Hanson


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Offlinegnrm23
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: Boppity604]
    #682426 - 06/16/02 06:09 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

dr albert hoffman believes that psychedelics are best used by the middle-aged and elderly...


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care


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Invisiblezeta
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: PsilocybicMind]
    #682956 - 06/16/02 11:40 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

In reply to:

-- naw man i disagree with that




he said usually


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Anonymous

Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: HB]
    #686287 - 06/18/02 03:17 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I know exactly what you mean. I have never been the smae since my first trip. And if people hear that, they sound frightenend and stuff for me. But i know its best, I love it and am glad i feel this way. They think it's a bad thing. Also I feel that fellow trippers are the most clever. Has anyone else noticed that, a lot of the people here are highly intelligent. Just think, a whole world where everyone has tripped before and were all like us. I think it would be great.


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OfflineRoger_irrelevant
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: ]
    #686935 - 06/18/02 09:42 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

In reply to:

Also I feel that fellow trippers are the most clever. Has anyone else noticed that, a lot of the people here are highly intelligent. Just think, a whole world where everyone has tripped before and were all like us. I think it would be great.





Tripping and intelligence eh?...*shakes head* thats a load of crap sorry. Highly intelligent people at the shroomery, hmm I'd say there's alot of knowledgeable people hear, don't know about highly intelligent, mabye we could run shroomery iq tests or something. Count me out though.

"It's only stupid people who think that psychedelics make you smarter!" - Terrence mckenna


--------------------
We are the music makers, We are the dreamers of dreams...


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OfflineSparklehorse
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Re: When you don't "come down" fully / Rationalizing [Re: HB]
    #687378 - 06/19/02 05:14 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

A rat race maybe, but the finishing line is death, which you're all going to face. So you're ALL a part of the rat race


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________________________________
No stranger than that!


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