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 furioustriffid
Stranger
Registered: 05/14/01
Posts: 12
Loc: new york (need ride to ra...
Last seen: 23 years, 11 months
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 acid enlightenment 
#317282 - 05/14/01 06:26 PM (23 years, 11 months ago) |
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several acid trips have culminated in a series of hysterical sobbing as my life melted before me into a terrible controlling dream in which suddenly i felt like dying and then suddenly realized i was NOTHING but the controller of this amazing beautiful body. All of my connections to other people appeared meaningless, as in, i felt free of any obligations to protect any of the illusory 'feelings' that people have, and 'love' did not exist in the previous way i believed (those were just ties of mutual weakness), but rather real love is the beautiful joy of being with another person, sharing present moment, etc...can be done with basically any other person i think....with this realization, all the visuals stop and i experience a state of blissful tranquility in which society is exposed as a hilarious ruse and i realize that i need never work a job again because i never wanted to, that i dont need money to live, only human camaraderie.
A part of me suspects that this state is my brain having fought off the positive effects of the acid or shrooms (it happens with both) and accepting the eternal hell which it has always dwelled in, a state where i am a non-participant in my own life...the reason for this suspicion is because i remain alone when i am alone, or when i am with people i dont have anything left to say to them, like there is no adventure.
sometimes i find them to be completely absurd and sometimes i just realize i dont want anything from them.
why do the visuals stop? the last trip i hadnt tripped in months, ate a whole 1/8th of shrooms, and it took fifteen minutes for the visuals to completely stop and i realized 'what the hell am i doing here?'
The first time ego dissolution occured, it was tremendous, i tried to explain it to my friends and girlfriend, somehow the realizations always disappear and life becomes disatisfying again and the ego creeps back into place and the insecurities of dealing with people
does anyone else know of this experience? am i the only dick who hasn't gotten *it* yet? i hear drug talk of getting *it*. it appears when i am not being benignly agreeable i have nothing spontaneous to add in words to anyone's life, so i seem to have difficulty meeting people...it appears they are all laughing at me and tripping always shows that they ARE in fact laughing at me, which may be because i have no ego and their egos are laughing, or because i am hiding SOMETHING, a desire for contact, but what sort of contact??? every song is talking about this phenomenon....WHAT IS IT?
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i wanna fuck sheep
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 Crasher
αἱρετίζω
 
Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 6,220
Loc: Tardy to the Party
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The ego always comes back... I can't stand that. But every time I trip, the ego becomes smaller, quiet. The voice in the back of your mind (possibly the only actual TRUTH in there) gets a little louder, a little bigger. But, I don't touch L.S.D. I don't like the idea of synthesised enlightenment.
Nothing of what I say is a personal matter. All cultivation questions are on behalf of counterparts who risk growing. I take no responsibility in being the messenger.
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Give me silence, water, hope;
Give me struggle, iron, volcanoes...
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Hydro
addict
Registered: 03/31/01
Posts: 402
Loc: In your closet..
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The wiseman speaks only when he has something to say, as the fool speaks only to say something..
Welcome to the other side of the rainbow. On this side lies understanding. This is trippin' my friend. Seeing goofy colors and playing with visuals is only the beginning. Welcome to the next level.. ;-)
Hydro has spoken!
Please! Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!
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Hydro has spoken!
Please! Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!
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shroom-girlie
addict
Registered: 01/06/01
Posts: 215
Loc: California
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Re: acid enlightenment [Re: Hydro]
#317484 - 05/14/01 10:18 PM (23 years, 11 months ago) |
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I couldn't have said it better myself Hydro. I love to see when people move to the next level, when they realize what tripping really means, and when they become enlightened. Don't worry, they others are laughing out of fear. They don't understand you so they ridicule you. You are just a little ahead of them on the self discovery scale. Don't let what others think bother you!
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"Express yourself completely then become quiet."
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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ive yet to have my ego go away fully or almost fully on an acid trip...cant wait...
We're all mad here...
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redworm
member
Registered: 01/23/01
Posts: 118
Last seen: 23 years, 19 days
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furioustriffid, I've been EXACTLY where you are now, that feeling of "Do I get it? Is there even an IT to get??". All I can say is keep growing and learning, find new people to associate with if your current social circle isn't working out for you. But.. I think Hydro said it best :)
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We are all, infinite and together.
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We are all, infinite and together.
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MrTechnoShaman
addict
Registered: 05/12/00
Posts: 84
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 23 years, 26 days
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Re: acid enlightenment [Re: redworm]
#318135 - 05/15/01 07:03 PM (23 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hydro definately said it best...
but just to add, this happens to me as well but I just don't care. you have to look at things the way they are, when people start judging you or mocking you, it's easier to realise that they don't understand, they are affraid and that this is something deep in their soul. Who needs them
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Dream what you live and live what you dream
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Dream what you live and live what you dream
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