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I'm glad my pimp killed himself.
    #29655940 -

I need to get this off my chest.
If you know who I am please don't post my ID on the comments. I'm doing this in the anonymous thread for a reason.

When I was 20 I went to my first swingers party. Here I met a 30 year old called Toby and his 25yo girlfriend, call her K. We fucked at the party. It was a big experience and something for the most part I enjoyed, other than getting assaulted by the host.

I started dating the couple. I remember going to the city with them. Fucking at their house. Having drinks. Meeting their friends down the road. The friends knew we were dating.

We were planning to go to a regional area for a holiday. I got told by K "Toby wants us to fuck this guy. Hell be around this Friday. Go and wax your pussy". I was in love with these two so I did this. I didn't know what else I could have done, no didn't seem like an answer. We fucked this guy, with Toby in the other room. Got the money. Went on holiday (yay...)

When we got back Toby said I should fuck more guys, make more money, and give him 40% of what I make. I am to this day pretty sure K didn't know about this. So I did, I made a bit of money. I quit my job and nearly dropped outta uni. Toby took his money.

When the shit hit the fan and I had enough of it, after getting kicked out of a sleep over prostitute date and having my money held off from me, and the police were called (in Australia what I was doing was legal). It all went to shit and I realised I was being absolutely fucking used by this person and lost my own autonomy.

Fast forward a year and I get a text from an ex friend of Toby's and my friend, who told me he gassed himself in his car and was in hospital, probably brain dead. A week later they took him of life support and he died. He left two kids behind.

I was told by someone I once cared about that I do not ever need to forgive him. That it is my pain and I can choose how I manage it. This person told me that I am allowed to be grateful he is dead so I never have to face him again.

And I am glad. I never wished it upon him when he was alive, but his dumb fucking ass killed himself and I do not give a fuck.

You are the only lot of told this to, in full. Very few of my friends are aware of this.

RIP Toby, but I'm glad you're dead.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29655945 -

I feel like you murdered tony then framed it as a sucuide. Pimps don't killselves.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #29655969 -

Lol. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't (hint: I didn't)

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29656047 -

CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THE WOMEN.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #29656139 -

Anonymous #2 said:
I feel like you murdered tony then framed it as a sucuide. Pimps don't killselves.


This right here

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #4] * 1
    #29656158 -

I'm glad he's dead too.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #29656230 -

Haha thank you all for making me laugh. It's such a fucked up situation.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29656782 -

Had it coming. Don't let yourself take any guilt for this whatsoever. You don't have to feel bad for not feeling bad either.
That's the trick that people try and make themselves feel like they're a bad person because they didn't feel bad that a piece of shit died.

It's not your fault that you were taken advantage of and it's not your fault for celebrating their death if that's what you're into. Wash your hands of it and move on with your life.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #6] * 1
    #29656810 -

Thank you.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29657009 -

Anonymous #1 said:
I was told by someone I once cared about that I do not ever need to forgive him. That it is my pain and I can choose how I manage it. This person told me that I am allowed to be grateful he is dead so I never have to face him again.


Toby was a fucked up guy doing fucked up things and in the end he painted himself in a corner and killed himself.

Forgive him.

Obviously not for his sake, his body is in a hole in the ground, he has taken Judgement for all he did including al the crap he did to you, most of the things you no doubt didnt even tell.

Forgive the fucker.

Not for him - for you.

For you to let go of things, to close the book on it you keep on him in your heart and mind.

He’s on to other things.

Maybe God forgave him already sending him off to his next life as a frail refugee lady getting forced into prostitution until her pussy falls off, or well-endowed demons might be taking turns on his ass as we speak in ways he cannot enjoy until his wrongs are righted and his debt is paid one cent at a time, who knows? Bottom line is - you can’t ever confront him now - close the book on him. Liberate yourself.

This is about you.

The story goes on with you of the two left standing, and the other one bit the dust.

Forgive him.

He did shitty things - he incurred a debt with the Universe, the Universe is in your debt because shitty things were done to you.

Let go.

No doubt messed up things happened to the guy making him so messed up he did what he did to you and others, culminating in a suicide.

That whole story is pathetic, a failed life.

Forgive the fucker, whatever balances things in the end is in full swing for him right now.

Don’t think he got away with it scot free.



Of course you feel relief that his train of Evils stopped dead at the final station.
Nobody will be the next victim of Toby’s rampage.
Forgive, exhale, find Peace.

:hug:

-Asante

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #29657112 -

Thank you,
I will try. I believe forgiveness is the best way forward, but it's so hard. It's so so hard. Stupid bastard.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29657190 -

I went through the list of all the people I had wronged and done me wrong. I was able to forgive everyone with a exception. I was not able to forgive the abuser. That piece of shit can rot in hell.

It is not your job to forgive every miserable excuse for humanity on the face of the Earth. Do not take the responsibility of somebody killing themselves up upon yourself. You do not need to forgive them.
Because they're dead.

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Re: I'm glad my pimp killed himself. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #29657364 -

Yes.

I have thought about it too just this morning.
I have been someone who has contemplated suicide about 50 times. I am not immune to the thought.

But I think it's a selfish and horrible thing to do. I think it's akin to murder in terms of ethics. And I think that's another reason why I am so pissed off at this guy. We have our reasons for contemplating suicide but to do it, when you have friends and family you're leaving behind, is gross.

(I do believe suicide should always be an available option for anyone. But I think it's shit if you do it).

I'm getting around putting my rude finger up at the ground and saying "hi Toby". I imagine he's in hell.
Tbh, I hope he is wherever he is, somewhere able to understand what he did to me and his family, and has been able to repent

I don't think I can ever forgive him without his apology and acknowledgement of what he did to me. He had a year to realise what he did and he never did.

I would never do something so fucking stupid so I don't think I owe him forgiveness.

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