I need to get this off my chest.
If you know who I am please don't post my ID on the comments. I'm doing this in the anonymous thread for a reason.
When I was 20 I went to my first swingers party. Here I met a 30 year old called Toby and his 25yo girlfriend, call her K. We fucked at the party. It was a big experience and something for the most part I enjoyed, other than getting assaulted by the host.
I started dating the couple. I remember going to the city with them. Fucking at their house. Having drinks. Meeting their friends down the road. The friends knew we were dating.
We were planning to go to a regional area for a holiday. I got told by K "Toby wants us to fuck this guy. Hell be around this Friday. Go and wax your pussy". I was in love with these two so I did this. I didn't know what else I could have done, no didn't seem like an answer. We fucked this guy, with Toby in the other room. Got the money. Went on holiday (yay...)
When we got back Toby said I should fuck more guys, make more money, and give him 40% of what I make. I am to this day pretty sure K didn't know about this. So I did, I made a bit of money. I quit my job and nearly dropped outta uni. Toby took his money.
When the shit hit the fan and I had enough of it, after getting kicked out of a sleep over prostitute date and having my money held off from me, and the police were called (in Australia what I was doing was legal). It all went to shit and I realised I was being absolutely fucking used by this person and lost my own autonomy.
Fast forward a year and I get a text from an ex friend of Toby's and my friend, who told me he gassed himself in his car and was in hospital, probably brain dead. A week later they took him of life support and he died. He left two kids behind.
I was told by someone I once cared about that I do not ever need to forgive him. That it is my pain and I can choose how I manage it. This person told me that I am allowed to be grateful he is dead so I never have to face him again.
And I am glad. I never wished it upon him when he was alive, but his dumb fucking ass killed himself and I do not give a fuck.
You are the only lot of told this to, in full. Very few of my friends are aware of this.
RIP Toby, but I'm glad you're dead.
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