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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tree frog]
    #29569587 -

KlarnEvil9 said:
I'm really glad you like it! It has been an absolute windfall in my kitchen, like sprinkle-on magic!


Sprinkle on magic is a perfect description!

tree frog said:
Just dropping in to let everyone know I'm going to take an extended break from the boards.

Take care everyone.


TF, I hope all is well with you and all is ok. I will miss you here. ❤️ Will you be checking your messages? I’d like to send you pics of my India when I grow them out.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AZ Starman2112] * 6
    #29569622 -

Hey dudes.

Has anyone tried EDMR? Or can tell me their experiences with ketamine therapy?

Yesterday marked one year after my twin's passing. I have been fucked up about it for months leading to this, hence my disappearance. Those that sent me messages - I still haven't read them because I'm scared I won't have it in me to respond yet. I'm having trouble socializing. A few people at work have noticed how quiet I've gotten and some have even told me they've noticed how I've quit exploring/doing adventurous activities. The other day, I had to talk myself into going to the grocery store.

It's time to seek help. I don't know where to start, so I thought maybe I'd come find some answers here. I really don't want to talk to anyone in real life about anything.

Beef, I'm sorry you're also going through some shit. We're gonna make it.


--------------------
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 2
    #29569675 -

Good to see you here, but sorry to hear you’re going through rough times. I have been wondering about you. Some of my coworkers have used EDMR. For the purpose it is used for, it works. I haven’t heard any of them say anything negative about it or that the process is bullshit. You know you can always reach out if you need to!

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tree frog]
    #29569685 -

@tree frog: peace to you, friend! Hope to see you here again someday down the way.


--------------------
Peace to you, friend!
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 3
    #29569703 -

@RG - I can tell you my experience with ketamine has been really helpful for me. I get treatments every two weeks in clinic & have done that for a couple of years solid so far. Insurance is covering it for me, thankfully. It is very good at stopping suicidal ideation in its tracks - like turning off a light switch, so I haven’t had any of that for 2 years. Otherwise, it does seem to help keep severe depression mostly in-check for a few days to a couple of weeks before the effect starts to wane. I’ve had far more durable  benefits for depression from mushrooms though - with a 3-4g dose, I can pretty reliably get 6 weeks of feeling super duper. Mushroom trips are often logistically harder for me to pull off though, as in-clinic for ketamine, I’ve got others that are there as support…with mushrooms I’m on my own.

EMDR is for trauma/PTSD related treatment, as far as I know. It was recommended for me at a point, but I did not go forward with it at the time and then things kinda got better for me.

I’m sorry you’re going through it - please know that your friends here love you and care for you, even though we’ve never physically met: you are OUR people and we’re here as social support. I am so sorry your twin died.  I can’t imagine that kind of loss and sorrow, and I hope you will  weather the storm to make it through to the peace and joy of living that you rightly deserve and that one day WILL return to you.  It is ok to grieve as hard and as long as it takes for you to rightfully acknowledge and honor the life you shared together and that was cut short.

Peace to you, friend. I love you like family and I hope the best for you as you weather the raging storms of grief.


--------------------
Peace to you, friend!
The HHG is a guide to getting started.
New User Welcome Wagon
GROWER’S BEST photo contest: join the fun!
CAKE WARS III - Starts SEPT 1, 2026

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 6
    #29569738 -

First off, huge, huge fucking props for having the strength to be real and admit that shit hurts, and you want change. It's brave as fuck to ask for help. The overwhelm and the vastness of it all can feel like so much sometimes. And I'm so sorry that you've had to go through what no person should ever have to feel or endure. It's hard as hell and it's real as hell.

I was rejected in the final intake for a ketamine trial because my treatment resistant depression was too high variance for the intake thresholds. I haven't tried EMDR but I've had family members with good things to say. 
 
While both seem promising, the world of therapy is very wide, I've dealt with many facets, and here are the things I think it is most helpful to know: 
 
* Therapy, when effective, is spectacularly, transformatively so. The same feelings that send us to therapy can cause us to doubt it. But therapy can work crazy well. It doesn't always feel like things can get better, but life can surprise us in good ways too.

* With that said, not every pony's a pegasus. It's very common to get a therapist you don't vibe with, have a null or even negative time, and put it off as baloney. Attempt to reject this instinct.

* "Therapist" is not an occupation, it is a relationship, and therefore requires a certain degree of chemistry. Neglecting chemistry is the therapy equivalent of fighting a trip for the steering wheel: a reliable shortcut to an unpleasant time. Every regret I have w/r/t therapy is in one of two categories: waiting too long, or staying too long. The deepest recesses of your psychology are unlikely to accept help from someone you do not trust or respect. Especially tricky are reasonable-seeming people whom you feel you ought to like. CBT has a great reputation and would probably work for me, but it turns out not to work when administered by Jerry Smith, because I don't take life advice from guys my lizard brain would be scared to turn out like. (the other side of this coin: a therapist is your advocate but not your friend. Temper your expectations and be receptive to hearing things you don't like.)

* Good chemistry is probably more important than a particular school/style of therapy, because it creates emotional investment, which creates stamina and excitement and effort, which turn out to be the whole game. Don't worry too much about the "one true optimal therapy tek". The tek for you is the one you find intuitive and want to return to.
 
* We can't expect to eyeball therapist chemistry without having found it before, and can't exactly go looking for it via direct properties, like true love from a tinder bio. It's to be approached in a specific way: you must "date" a lot of therapists. Seriously. Go on no fewer than 6 "first dates" (20 minute intro calls). Get a feel for who's out there. Be willing to try some people out. But, per above, if you know for a fact you could never really trust a person due to some property of theirs, save yourself the time. This includes protected classes. Be real about your biases, don't add a headwind you don't need to. You're shopping on behalf of the real you.

* By far the best barometer, IME, is unexpected crying. I met with a lot of therapists this last round (about a year ago). We talked about all the trouble I was having with my now-ex wife. My anger, my insecurity, all these very real things that were wrong with me that I knew were big problems and that I was specifically there to fix. And then somehow I ended up with one guy talking about how I'd taken some ochras a few days earlier, and found myself looking up at the night sky. I never go outside when I trip. They felt different. And how looking up at the stars, and seeing the twinkle of my patio lights, reminded me of all the nights I'd spent in the warm california breeze, a 20 something alcoholic who felt the whole world ahead at his feet. Surrounded by friends and prosperity. Before I had to quit. Before covid. And suddenly, somehow, I was heave-sobbing about a loss that, 90 seconds earlier, I hadn't really let myself think about. We had achieved a vibe. I trusted this guy enough to be vulnerable enough to actually open up and explore. This is a key prerequisite that enables doing work on all the big ticket items. This doesn't have to happen in session one. But it is the equivalent of striking oil. When things start bursting out, you might be clear to switch from looking mode to digging mode.
 
* The second barometer, which helped with my first therapist (before I knew all that other stuff), is that they have ideas which are unexpected, which you could not have mentally simulated in your own head, yet which seem shocking and true once introduced. I was very torn between two people. I visited both of them weekly for like 3 weeks (this is possible! You don't have to tell them at first either! I recommend it if you're uncertain, but after some weeks you do need to decide, and they'll tell you this too if you ask). Anyway, one day I ask this guy what I'm supposed to do, and I had all these preconceptions about what I expected him to say, and he said a thing that was basically the total opposite, except in a framing that was like "holy shit.... actually yes, I would expect any OTHER human to need this thing, but I have been running nonstop since kindergarden and done exactly zero of this so.... you sonofabitch". So that's how I broke the tie. 
 
* Okay concretely: psychology today is the linkedin for therapists. They are all on there. The one place. This makes it easy. You can go and filter for people in your area and see their backgrounds and the things they focus on. Aim for "in the ballpark". If they exclusively focus on jewish couples or teenage girls with eating disorders, or something that's not you at all, skip. But don't look for the perfect fit. Grief, loss, trauma, mens issues, big buckets.

* I would strongly bias you towards in-person therapy if it is at all possible. Therapy is about living, and living is physical. Remote therapy can work, but again, minimize elective headwinds where you can.

* The one mostly unavoidable suck: therapy is almost always cash only (no insurance) and expensive as fuck. You might be able to work something out with your insurer re:reimbursement, and I strongly and unironically recommend you upload your health plan PDF to Claude or ChatGPT and ask them to advise. They make mistakes but they also have the entirety of human knowledge about healthcare PDFs which.... nets positive. It is worth it if you can swing it, and there are low cost alternatives like regional support groups, etc, which can be great.
 
Anyway sorry for the absolute fucking novella here, but I feel a certain obligation to share the gospel since I have been in such a place and therapy has helped a lot. DMs are wide open for absolutely anybody reading this. 
 
Strangers are rooting for you <3

Edited by Rasmodius (05/07/26 01:09 AM)

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Rasmodius] * 4
    #29569851 -

Pretty cool writeup ras. I knew i liked you the moment i saw your stardew getup bashin around here.  Rg is super special to us and i apppreciate you sharing what youve learned.  Thats a really great perspective on therapists.  Ive "dumped" more therapists than i can remember.  Finally found an oncology therapist that i think is more like a doula than a traditional therapist.  Accepting the transformation of ptsd has been the most difficult part for me and its not unlike cancer patients accepting their own transformations.

Anyway.  Thanks for being around bud.  Im turning the corner myself once again.


--------------------
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
Visit our cultivation museum
The Hitchhiker's guide Pt. 3

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme] * 5
    #29569885 -

2.3g bliss

Kiss everyone


--------------------
wow

Edited by Tropical (05/07/26 09:22 AM)

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Tropical] * 1
    #29569950 -

BeefExtreme said:
Accepting the transformation of ptsd has been the most difficult part





🚨 𝐑 𝐄 𝐀 𝐋  𝐎 𝐍 𝐄  𝐀 𝐋 𝐄 𝐑 𝐓 🚨

Was just talkin to my dude how I wish there was some cursed surgery that would let me pay a big price once instead of having to chase 0.05% gains for eternity. Alas. 
 
At least there's friends and plants and such. Thank you for the kind words, truly. Happy to be here.

:hugitout:

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Rasmodius] * 2
    #29569952 -

Rasmodius, Thank you for this amazing and deep information you shared to not only RG, but to the entire community. You really hit the high bar here. Thanks for being among us! I look forward to you being around here.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AZ Starman2112] * 4
    #29570054 -

Yesterday I gave my two colonizing shoeboxes a good mist because they looked a bit dry. Today I performed a smell test and it smelled like alcohol. It was dry again so I misted it again and then realized what I was spraying it with. I fear this isn't the first or last time I do this, sorry mushies :facepalm:

Edit: Oh and guess what, I used my soapy water bottle right afterwards. Now that's new. Wow.
:jokerclap:

Edited by Turvenuija (05/07/26 03:03 PM)

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Turvenuija] * 2
    #29570072 -

So many people in this thread have done that bud.  Dont feel
Too bad.


--------------------
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
Visit our cultivation museum
The Hitchhiker's guide Pt. 3

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Turvenuija] * 1
    #29570074 -



--------------------
This hobby has taught me many things.
Most of those things are patience.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
The Official Shroomery Cultivation Museum
CakeWars
III

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Turvenuija] * 3
    #29570237 -

AZ Starman2112 said:
Rasmodius, Thank you for this amazing and deep information you shared to not only RG, but to the entire community. You really hit the high bar here. Thanks for being among us! I look forward to you being around here.


Appreciate you! Everyone is so nice here, it's genuinely very surprising and refreshing. Not surprising in that I thought people would be grumpy, just that there would be some period of dispassionate caution, as in so many places. Y'all have really managed quite a neat thing. And I see ya working on it in earnest, too. It hits twice as hard for the knowledge it's on purpose.

Turvenuija said:
Yesterday I gave my two colonizing shoeboxes a good mist because they looked a bit dry. Today I performed a smell test and it smelled like alcohol. It was dry again so I misted it again and then realized what I was spraying it with. I fear this isn't the first or last time I do this, sorry mushies :facepalm:

Edit: Oh and guess what, I used my soapy water bottle right afterwards. Now that's new. Wow.
:jokerclap:


Ohhhhh yeah. Friendly fire is a matter of when not if. :biggrin: 
 
I got snaked when I started back growing some years ago. Worked so hard to make everything absolutely perfect. Squeaky clean. By the book. I usually do everything with tap, but for this, I went out and got distilled water. And then my tupps turned blue. Because it turns out that kroger, and I shit you not.... sells bottled distilled water with "minerals added for taste" in little teeny fine print. They had sold saltwater as distilled and I had betrayed my tupps in their final hour. They bounced back, but not before I hit em another 5 or 6 times thinking I was helping before finally putting 2 and 2 together. At least it didn't make it in the laser cutter.



All's well that ends well. That ochra tupp ended up being the 3rd pic in my signature


--------------------


.~`  𝔅 𝔞 𝔤 𝔢 𝔩  🥯  𝔅 𝔦 𝔱 𝔢 𝔰  `~.
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🧪 Castellani Preservation | 🔬 The Slidewich | ☠️ Touchless skull sterilizer | 📸 Agar plate scanner


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 2
    #29570239 -

RealityGlitch said:
Hey dudes.

Has anyone tried EDMR? Or can tell me their experiences with ketamine therapy?

Yesterday marked one year after my twin's passing. I have been fucked up about it for months leading to this, hence my disappearance. Those that sent me messages - I still haven't read them because I'm scared I won't have it in me to respond yet. I'm having trouble socializing. A few people at work have noticed how quiet I've gotten and some have even told me they've noticed how I've quit exploring/doing adventurous activities. The other day, I had to talk myself into going to the grocery store.

It's time to seek help. I don't know where to start, so I thought maybe I'd come find some answers here. I really don't want to talk to anyone in real life about anything.

Beef, I'm sorry you're also going through some shit. We're gonna make it.


Ketamine saved my life. I’ve replied elsewhere with details but I’m too lazy to search it.


--------------------
You can ignore the truth to your final breath. But trust me, it will meet you there to be ignored no longer.

The answer to your question is almost always 42
“The answer is always grow more shroom.” Mr Piggy
- Those two answers coexist peacefully.

Quick Sterilization Reference for Altitude

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: 1NFIN8] * 2
    #29570315 -

1NFIN8 said:
I’m late on the ketamine questions but I’ll share my personal experience. Of course it’s mine and only mine so everyone’s experience may vary. That’s my disclaimer.

Ketamine literally saved my life. No hyperbole. I researched the shit out of it prior to doing spravato (nasal) then going to intramuscular injections.

Previous ssri and adjacent drugs of every sort had zero impact over 35 years for me.

That said, I’m not prone to addiction with the exception of alcohol. So that worry has proven to be a non issue for me. However, I only do it at a psychiatric clinic under supervision so there’s no room for me to go off on my own willy nilly and snort anything.

I have a rigid set, setting, and integration protocol with a therapist. It’s detailed and no joke. It’s proven to be the key - the medicines unlock the ability to reprogram yourself (neuroplasticity). If you choose to put in the same addictions or thought and action patterns then that’s going to result in the same you ever got.

Shrooms for me are proving more significant and lasting. But the experience is far more emotional and difficult. Ketamine is numb. Shrooms are in your face. And you get what you deserve. Surrender and figure it out or you create your own hellish experience.

Next steps will be ayahuasca and DMT. Same rigid protocol. Maybe lsd at some point. It hasn’t been a calling for me though.

Just to be clear, I’m chasing healing and rebirth. I’m not chasing a high.  No judgement at all, I just can’t speak to anything but a healing perspective. I won’t naively state anything about addiction and those tendencies because outside of alcohol I don’t have experience there. I’m grateful I don’t and I’m sorry for those that do.


It was a good one


--------------------
- My trade list
- New here? Me too! Pop by and say hi c:

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Turvenuija] * 2
    #29570321 -

Turvenuija said:
Yesterday I gave my two colonizing shoeboxes a good mist because they looked a bit dry. Today I performed a smell test and it smelled like alcohol. It was dry again so I misted it again and then realized what I was spraying it with. I fear this isn't the first or last time I do this, sorry mushies :facepalm:

Edit: Oh and guess what, I used my soapy water bottle right afterwards. Now that's new. Wow.
:jokerclap:


"These things happen to a pimp from time to time'


--------------------


Everything is better when it is done ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN!

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Rasmodius] * 2
    #29570332 -

Thanks for your post.

I know it wasn't meant for me but it's helpful and relevant for bothebny partner and myself.

I'm going to share it with her, if that's cool.

Thank you

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Turvenuija]
    #29570381 -

Turvenuija said:
Yesterday I gave my two colonizing shoeboxes a good mist because they looked a bit dry. Today I performed a smell test and it smelled like alcohol. It was dry again so I misted it again and then realized what I was spraying it with. I fear this isn't the first or last time I do this, sorry mushies :facepalm:

Edit: Oh and guess what, I used my soapy water bottle right afterwards. Now that's new. Wow.
:jokerclap:


Been there done that with iso. Yup. I misted one shoebox of semps several months ago, not once but twice with iso. They recovered. All good. You will persevere and so will your fruits!

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Rasmodius] * 10
    #29570405 -

Rasmodius said:
AZ Starman2112 said:
Rasmodius, Thank you for this amazing and deep information you shared to not only RG, but to the entire community. You really hit the high bar here. Thanks for being among us! I look forward to you being around here.


Appreciate you! Everyone is so nice here, it's genuinely very surprising and refreshing. Not surprising in that I thought people would be grumpy, just that there would be some period of dispassionate caution, as in so many places. Y'all have really managed quite a neat thing. And I see ya working on it in earnest, too. It hits twice as hard for the knowledge it's on purpose.

Turvenuija said:
Yesterday I gave my two colonizing shoeboxes a good mist because they looked a bit dry. Today I performed a smell test and it smelled like alcohol. It was dry again so I misted it again and then realized what I was spraying it with. I fear this isn't the first or last time I do this, sorry mushies :facepalm:

Edit: Oh and guess what, I used my soapy water bottle right afterwards. Now that's new. Wow.
:jokerclap:


Ohhhhh yeah. Friendly fire is a matter of when not if. :biggrin: 
 
I got snaked when I started back growing some years ago. Worked so hard to make everything absolutely perfect. Squeaky clean. By the book. I usually do everything with tap, but for this, I went out and got distilled water. And then my tupps turned blue. Because it turns out that kroger, and I shit you not.... sells bottled distilled water with "minerals added for taste" in little teeny fine print. They had sold saltwater as distilled and I had betrayed my tupps in their final hour. They bounced back, but not before I hit em another 5 or 6 times thinking I was helping before finally putting 2 and 2 together. At least it didn't make it in the laser cutter.



All's well that ends well. That ochra tupp ended up being the 3rd pic in my signature



Wasnt always this way. We have worked hard to foster a strong community.  We really wanted to create a place that was unlike most of the internet.  We really try to honor our guests and get to know people on a personal level.  Its payed off for so many of us 1000 fold.  You may find yourself surprised at the value and enrichment the community can have for your life.  we share a connection here that is unlike any online communy elsewhere and many of us have found that we no longer are served by othet forms of social media.

We hope youll stick around! You seem like a good'un.


--------------------
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
Visit our cultivation museum
The Hitchhiker's guide Pt. 3

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation
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