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the cool fool
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Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,389
Loc: USA
ben and jerry oppose bush
    #2912018 - 07/21/04 01:04 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

they are following the bush campaign with a giant float, that has a 12 ft tall bush statue with his pants on fire (liar liar pants on fire:lol:).this is so great, you can even volunteer to drive it around.

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unintended sideeffect

Registered: 05/28/03
Posts: 841
Loc: In my pants
Last seen: 5 years, 13 days
Re: ben and jerry oppose bush [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #2912062 - 07/21/04 01:17 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people.
  --  Howard Zinn

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Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
Re: ben and jerry oppose bush [Re: GernBlanston]
    #2912091 - 07/21/04 01:24 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Imma gonna get me some phish phood tonite!

All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.

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Fred's son

Registered: 10/19/00
Posts: 12,949
Loc: Dominican Republic
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Re: ben and jerry oppose bush [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #2916283 - 07/22/04 03:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Ben and Jerry oppose Bush? Stop the presses! We have our new lead!

Something as childish as this stunt requires a response. Since I'm not as good at drafting responses to childish behavior as some others on the internet, I thought I'd instead provide a piece from littletinylies.com:

Thanks Ben
And Thanks, all you PMSing Women Whose Cravings Paid for his Toy

I'll tell you something wonderful about Miami. It's nearly impossible here to get a ticket for running a red light. Because as sure as you run one, and as worried as you may be that a cop saw you, when you look over your shoulder, you will see at least three cars behind you that ran it after you did.

Unless you're Hispanic, in which case you will be driving one of those cars.

There's a similar thing about being an irresponsible right-wing political commentator. No matter how wacky and immature I am, I can always find someone on the left who looks a hundred times worse.

Case in point: (*picture of Bush float inserted here)

Behold the Bush "Pants on Fire Mobile," built and operated by one Ben Cohen, co-founder of the Ben & Jerry's ice cream company. Which uses gum and other unsavory ingredients in its products, by the way. Read the label.

Yes, I still eat them, too.

First, let's pause to examine Mr. Cohen's archetypical liberal head. It really is quite extraordinary. A model of its kind.

Note the wire-framed glasses. You may sport tortoise shell if you're a liberal with some pretense at style; otherwise wire is de rigeur, and Ben here is apparently a by-the-book guy. What book? The little red one by Chairman Mao, I guess. In any event, evidently not The South Beach Diet.

Note what I like to refer to as "moonbat pattern baldness." Liberals universally go bald in this manner. Conservatives tend to go for the Scalia moon roof or the Hannity/Reagan full mop, but liberals ALWAYS end up looking like they just had a run-in with Peter Yarrow's barber. If there is such a person.

Note the cruddy, untrimmed, regulation-length liberal beard. Attention, Ben: Woodstock was thirty years ago, about like the last time you washed those jeans. The concert is over. Go home and shave.

Note the impressive tits. Surprisingly perky for a man Ben's age. Scientists say marijuana causes men's breasts to grow, and here you have your proof.

Anyway, Ben spent actual American dollars without choo-choos on them on this monstrosity. The Bush thing, I mean. And now he drives around and shows it to people, and apparently, he can turn a few knobs and make flames shoot out of its pants. Because Bush is a liar, and as we all know, liars have pants that emit long tongues of propane flame.

I shudder to think of the Clinton equivalent. You would have to shove a Saturn V rocket up its ass.

Didn't Ben get the memo? Bush was just cleared of lying in the yellow-cake kerfuffle. What exactly does Ben think Bush lied about? If he were here, I would ask him. Liberals always yell, "Bush lied! Bush lied!", but they are never very clear about what. If you ask them, they roll their THC-reddened eyes and look at you like you asked them to start using deodorant; in other words, like you said something crazy. But they never answer.

For a while, they had the yellow cake business, but that's gone, so what exactly are they yammering about?

So, getting back to the story, here is the thing. I have had my immature moments. I Photoshopped Michael Moore sodomizing a sheep, and I animated the result. I made an animated gif of Kerry being vigorously penetrated by a beaming John Edwards. I wrote a fictional news item about Michael Moore building a homeless shelter in his asshole. But I never handed a six-figure sum to a team of fabricators and engineers and told them to build a giant statue that farts fire.

I feel like playing the left's game here, but I'm above that.

No, I guess I'm not. Here I go.

That money could have gone to feed--oh, I don't know--hungry lesbian whale watchers with AIDS. It could have--let's see--paid for hundreds of wonderful late-term convenience abortions. Where are people starving at the moment? Africa? That's pretty much a given. Okay, Ben could have fed Nigeria for a good week and a half.

Or, judging from the photo, himself, for three or four days.

But no, he weighed all the options, and he factored in all the variables, and he decided to go with the giant rolling fart statue.

After a stunt like that, who is going to have the balls to call me immature? On the meter they use to measure Ben, my worst offense gets lost in the statistical noise.

I think I'll start a fund drive. I want to build a giant statue of Sandy Berger that pulls up the leg of its boxers and farts simulated classified documents out over the heads of startled onlookers. Or maybe a giant Clinton figure that blows mock DNA all over people's windshields. Or a huge wooden Gore with a nose that grows as he lies through a giant P.A. system.

Anyway, until I get it together, NOBODY can call me silly or mean-spirited, because I have been totally outclassed.

Now someone get Ben a hemp bra.




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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/06/02
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Re: ben and jerry oppose bush [Re: Phred]
    #2916369 - 07/22/04 04:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Was that your childish rant, or someone else's?


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Fred's son

Registered: 10/19/00
Posts: 12,949
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Re: ben and jerry oppose bush [Re: Baby_Hitler]
    #2916415 - 07/22/04 04:31 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

pinky wrote:


Since I'm not as good at drafting responses to childish behavior as some others on the internet, I thought I'd instead provide a piece from littletinylies.com:



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Ten ThousandThings

Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
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Re: ben and jerry oppose bush [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #2916920 - 07/22/04 06:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Ben and Jerry are hippies! :flowerchild: What do you expect?

Personally I have a hard time seeing how liberals are calling Bush a liar, when so far there has been 0 proof, completely none at ALL, (and perhaps even less plausibility) that Bush knowingly said untrue things about Iraq. So far the Iraq inquiry has shown that Bush got all of his info from the CIA for which he is not at fault, and even the 'yellowcake 'scandal has turned out to be BS. It was Wilson who was not telling the truth. George Tenet personally told Bush their evidence on Iraq was a 'slam dunk', and yet people call Bush a liar because the CIA made a mistake. That doesn't make ANY SENSE AT ALL. If Bush did not know that Iraq didn't have WMD, as has been clearly proven, how can you call him a liar?

On top of all this nobody even thinks that there is not a serious motivation to invade Iraq knowing there will be no weapons. Halliburton? Ok, so Bush is going to make himself look like an ass, forfeit re-election, piss off everyone, just so Dick Cheney who is already a millionare gets a slight boost in his stock options? Does this seem far fetched to anybody besides me?

I am amazed that people can stick to ideas that have absolutely no bearing to reality. Just like the No War For Oil bullshit. There was NEVER any evidence, let alone weight to the idea that the war in Iraq was over oil, but so many people believe it. Hell, we have more evidence tying Saddam Hussein to 9/11 (very little) than that Iraq or even Afghanistan was over oil. It's like somebody just has to make a claim with no support and everyone buys it if it adopts the correct anti-establishment or trendy left wing attitude.

This whole 'Bush Lied' business seems like the 'I know you are but what am I?' responce to the fact that Bill Clinton WAS a proven liar. It's like little kids "You're a liar!" "No, you're liar!" Lacking a rational response people tend try to defend their positions by accusing others of the same thing.

I suspect I will lose another mushroom for the incorrect attitudes of this post.

Edited by Divided_Sky (07/22/04 07:20 PM)

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Registered: 01/21/02
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Re: ben and jerry oppose bush [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #2917911 - 07/22/04 11:28 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Wait, are you serious.


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