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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034896 -

Anonymous #1 said:
. . . she had strict parents and I think they didn't allow her to have boys on fb or something but it really hurt me and killed my confidence completely.

This was the biggest mistake of my life I think my life would be completely different had I not been such a little bitch at that moment.


Can you observe that line of thinking and notice how wacky it is?

Nobody can "kill your confidence". Don't blame people for your reality. 

Your life would have been different if your house burned down! So what?

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #25034900 -

save up 120k don't worry about people, then use that money to rent, try not to spend a single dime if you find a girl you like you can use that for a down payment on a house and have 50k left over for repairs
that's all chicks want really, that quarterback love thing is a total sham you think other girls want a highschool kid? Of course not they want security really, which is why you see 5/10's getting with 10/10's


--------------------
http://bunkpolice.com/basic-test-kit/
Vienna Declaration
Salvia Divinorum The Docudrahma

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034903 -

It's better to have no friends than bad friends. You ever study narcissism?


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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Konyap]
    #25034925 -

Konyap said:
save up 120k don't worry about people, then use that money to rent, try not to spend a single dime if you find a girl you like you can use that for a down payment on a house and have 50k left over for repairs
that's all chicks want really, that quarterback love thing is a total sham you think other girls want a highschool kid? Of course not they want security really, which is why you see 5/10's getting with 10/10's


yeah, quite nice advice from Planet Piss. :rolleyes: he's not looking for monetary advice.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25035158 -

You will never ever improve if you beat yourself up like that. You have to make your life better, and you have to make the changes yourself. Read. Write. Go outside and breathe. You’re on this planet one time man, don’t ever forget that. You have no idea how lucky you are to be born in such a fragment of time like this. If you were born 100 years ago, it sounds like you’d be eaten alive. Be glad that you can say that you live somewhere. Be glad that you’re here with everyone else. Go and meet people. Girlfriends are nice, but you’re more important. Never put yourself down, it will only destroy you when someone else does.

Chin up man, you can do this. You are the only one that can change you.


--------------------
YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25035171 -

I am 21 and am going through a similar situation. I had a girl and some close friends. I decided I wanted to travel around the country, so I left with my backpack and guitar.

I traveled out west, down south, up through Colorado, and then back home in about 2 years. When I got back the life that I left no longer existed. My girl moved on, and my friends moved on to bigger and better things. The only people I have in my life to spend time with and talk to are my dad and brother.

I have spent a good bit of time contemplating my situation, and I came to realize something. Each and every one of our souls is so fucking beautiful and amazing. Our energy is priceless. Sometimes we need to focus on ourselves for a while. Really get into a good place mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually, and then we will attract the RIGHT people into our lives. Meaningful relationships based on love not superficial bullshit.

I know its hard my dude, it can really get to you having nobody in your life that shares the same ideas/interests/dreams, but in the end this is your world, and you have to create it. I wish you the best brother, Much love!!!


--------------------
~ vision without execution is just hallucination ~


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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #25035711 -

Anonymous #2 said:
oh you should talk to her. there is no issue with you my man. the past is the past.

Quote:
Take a few grams of shrooms.  Make yourself comfortable in uncomfortable situations.



you'd be surprised, OP, how much a mini-dose of shrooms would do for social fears. i find it really opened me up to talking to people, but, then remember to stop and talk with them for awhile.


You think so? I've been contemplating it for a while but don't know how she'd react. It would definitely make me feel better but it obviously won't solve my main problem.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25035847 -

Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: It would definitely make me feel better but it obviously won't solve my main problem.


So what is your main problem? Is it your fear of approaching her? If so, then facing that fear is how you overcome it. Sitting around dwelling on it and thinking "what if" will do nothing but make you more anxious and fearful

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #25036702 -

My main problem is not having a girlfriend in general. Or every having one.

Edited by Anonymous (03/03/18 08:44 PM)

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25036719 -

Anonymous #1 said:
My main problem is not having a girlfriend in general. Or every having one.


This is just a phase. Sounds to me like you're putting too much pressure on yourself to have meaningful relationships with others. This isn't something that you can just force, you have to let it occur naturally. Be the best 'you' that you can be right now and all other pieces will fall into place.

I used to think that not having a girlfriend or a bunch of friends was a problem. But after being in bad relationships and longterm friendships where you feel obligated to be loyal at the cost of your own suffering, I've found it quite liberating to not be tied down to any one person or group of people. Being fully independent is the way to go, otherwise you're relying on sources outside yourself for YOUR happiness... seems unfair doesn't it? Sure there are times when you'll get lonely, but you can't dwell on them. Figure out what the lesson is and how you can grow from it and move on brother.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #25036727 -

Take everyone's advice here dude, everything your worrying about is the least of the universes problems.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #25039492 -

seclusion is an illusion.

we do not need other people, we just lack self reliance.

most things are great until we realize there is something better.

you're living in the past, don't see the distance of time, bring the past with you, bring the future with you, see it as though you were just born and will die at 90 years old tomorrow, one event,one sunrise to sunset to sunrise again, oneness is the answer, we are the same person.








you don't need people, you need their attention for your ego, kill the ego and you will be self reliant.

when you are alone is the best time to meditate.

imagine that everyone is dead and see if you still feel lonely.

consider how natural your movements are.

do things more slowly and with more attention, watch your hand turn the doorknob, if you smoke, try to see that the motion is programmed, it is not your choice, it is abstract to smoke a cigarette, something we do to put up with the fact that our ego is less awesome than other people's, that is the root of our anxiety, trying to be more godlike, we're sick man.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Deadfrancis] * 1
    #25039511 -

Hard-hitting insightful comments Deadfrancis.

BTW, even if we find the perfect partner (no matter how we define it),
there's no guarantee they will be with us forever.

We never want to base our happiness on something we can lose.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25043302 -

Hey man im kinda of in the same position. 27 yo dont really know how to connect with others or talk to women.

I find that the less i care the easier it gets.

Just get your mind right and build a nice body.

Everything else is out of our control anyways.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25054644 -

Get to the root of why u are lonely. Is that u are anti-social? Or do u wanna be social but cant?

Think hard about when u did have friends and werent lonely. What was your life like? How is different than your life now?

The most important part I think of not feeling lonely is feeling a sense of belonging to a group, even if a small one. Feeling like someone cares about you is very important. Investigate the core center of your loneliness and make a plan on how to fix/change these things in your life.

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