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I'm so lonely
    #25034489 -

Nobody talks to me any more I'm in my early 20s and never had an actual girlfriend. My youth is running out and I'm trapped inside my house all day. I really wish I could have a girlfriend and friends but I just can't I'm too much of a pussy I've wasted my whole life.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #25034522 -

The most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship with yourself.

Do you have compassion, kindness, and caring for yourself?

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #25034584 -

Yes.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25034595 -

Then stop calling yourself a pussy and believing nonsense like,"I've wasted my whole life."

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #25034627 -

You just gotta start putting yourself in social situations.  Push your boundary of comfort.


That's the only way you'll break this cycle.


It will be worth it.


--------------------
Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177


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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034643 -

you can bridle that flame somehow. you don't "need" people. you can find access to "peopleness" within you, but if you can push your boundaries, like impatientguy said, that you're all good.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034651 -

you should stick around and talk, OP.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034653 -

or just you know, do you mein friend.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #25034660 -

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Then stop calling yourself a pussy and believing nonsense like,"I've wasted my whole life."


It's the truth though I believe in myself and can sometimes be arrogant like anyone else but in societies definition I'm a pussy I can't talk to women And when social situations come up I choke.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034668 -

why is that, do you think?

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: impatientguy]
    #25034669 -

impatientguy said:
You just gotta start putting yourself in social situations.  Push your boundary of comfort.


That's the only way you'll break this cycle.


It will be worth it.


I know I don't know how though I can't start convos and I have no friends to go meet new people from.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25034685 -

Anonymous #2 said:
why is that, do you think?


Hold on I'm going to start a story.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #25034715 -

Have you ever considered why you put so much value on relationships with others? I used to pride myself on my multitude of friends and all the hot chics I've dated, but as I got older and 1 by 1 they all fucked me over time and time again, I realized that I've been putting too much value on my relationships with others.

Sure relationships with others a good thing. But just because you don't have them currently doesn't mean there's something wrong with yourself, so don't assume that. The only one you will truly ever know is yourself. Relying on others for your contentment is setting yourself up for failure. Learn to love yourself.

My brother is in his mid 40's and has never had many friends and only 1 girlfriend. He pretty much fends for himself and is happier than anyone else I know. He's strongly independent and his confidence and contentment within himself keeps him going rather than relying on others to provide this feeling for him. I'm just now learning how to follow his lead, and I gotta say it's very liberating to be content with nothing but yourself. Then, when you do make some good friends or start dating someone it will feel much more organic and you will also have much more to offer them.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034721 -

So when I was in 7th grade I had these two girls mainly this one that I really liked and I would talk and flirt with them alot. Well I was just really adhd and I guess kind of jerky sometimes and one day Nicole the one I really liked said I was annoying her I kinda took that to heart but we still talked and shit but then Facebook was just starting to come around and I tried to add her on Facebook but she ignored it... Twice so I took it as she didn't like me and I stopped talking to her just like that.

Haven't talked to her since looking back we definitely liked each other (I had my first kiss with her) she had strict parents and I think they didn't allow her to have boys on fb or something but it really hurt me and killed my confidence completely. This was the biggest mistake of my life I think my life would be completely different had I not been such a little bitch at that moment.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034738 -

people that young are stupid. you were dealing with someone who was probably immature. don't you think you can meet with someone on an intellectual level, without being jerky, o veritable wise one?

PS: why you have a very similar writing style to anon 3, wow, it's intensely similar.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25034742 -

It seems like you're getting hung up on past moments rather than learning from them. Life is full of ups and downs, take it as you will. Just know that if you take it like you currently are, you're only lying to yourself. You are making assumptions about what she thought, and about what you may or may have not have done wrong.

The only direction to look is forward. Beating yourself up over what could have been is useless and destructive. Not to mention this is 12-13 year old kids we're talking about. Everyone is in a hormonal mind fuck at this point and nobody truly is who you think they are at this point.

You gotta learn to keep your chin up and know your worth. If she wasn't interested in you then she doesn't belong on your path. This type of scenario will play itself out time and time again as you get older. Part of 'growing up' is learning how to address these things. Take it with a grain of salt. Assuming the worst and beating yourself up over it is detrimental to your health. Forget about it and focus on what it is that you like (aside from this girl). Women will come and go, try not to get flustered.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25034743 -

You can't let one moment dictate how you will be and react for the rest of your life.


I had something similar happen to me when I was younger.  The only thing that will help is to push your boundary of comfort.


It doesn't even have to be with women necessarily. Just talk to people.

Take a few grams of shrooms.  Make yourself comfortable in uncomfortable situations.


Try to not overthink what has happened to you or what may happen.    You just gotta go for it.


You have to know SOME people.


--------------------
Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177


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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: impatientguy]
    #25034766 -

I think people are misunderstanding she probably did still like me and would try to talk to her but I'd usually just blow her off or ignore her. She would occasionally try to talk to me all the way up to senior year of highschool and I would always think it's been too long or it's better if she thinks I'm an asshole than know about my anxiety and depression issues.

I feel like I need to get this off my chest by talking to her somehow but it won't solve my problems I have today that would no longer be weighing me down

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25034770 -

oh you should talk to her. there is no issue with you my man. the past is the past.

Quote:
Take a few grams of shrooms.  Make yourself comfortable in uncomfortable situations.



you'd be surprised, OP, how much a mini-dose of shrooms would do for social fears. i find it really opened me up to talking to people, but, then remember to stop and talk with them for awhile.

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Re: I'm so lonely [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25034799 -

Again, you're putting too much emphasis on 'what could've been'. I understand that things can be difficult, but once some years go by you'll look back on this moment and laugh at yourself for how emotionally invested you currently are.

What do you expect to happen anyhow? You would've either been right and got into a relationship with this girl and then it wouldn't have worked out (very few relationships are going to be forever, especially starting in the early teens) and you would've gotten your heart broken for the first time. Or you could've been wrong about her liking you and you'd be in the exact same position you are now. The only difference being that in the aforementioned you would've at least known that she didn't like you and you'd eventually be able to move on, but right now you're making assumptions about what could've been and you're torturing yourself.

It's not about what could have been. It's about what can be. 'What can be' lends to an infinite number of possibilities. Pick yourself up and move on bud. Who knows, you may run into her again in the future and something may come of it. It's too early to start making assumptions and being hard on yourself.

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