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OfflineToolman
This one, thisform I hold now
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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 67
Loc: The borderline
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Relationship and psychedelics? *update*
    #2459518 - 03/22/04 07:40 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

My problem is using psychedelics and being in a relationship.
My last relationship got fucked over because of my weed usage. She said that it didnt bother her (for a year) then decided she couldnt take it. I then decided i would clean up my act, and get back with her. I sobered up my act, and begged for her to take me back. She said it was to late, and that she had lost all her feelings for me. That broke my heart, i had lost my best friend, for the last 3 years.

I stayed sober even when i couldnt get back together with her. I had been sober for almost 3 years, until a few weeks ago when i tripped on shrooms again. It was amzing, i have always had this love and respect for psychedelics. I have read many books on the topic and talked to alot of people about it. Its a big part of my life, and very important to me.


Right now I am together with this girl, we have been close for 10 months. I havent told her yet about my last 2 trips or that i am using Salvia one or two times a week.
The plan was to tell her this past weekend, but something happened.
She picks me up after work in her car. We talk. We get into the topic, that her mother is feeling real down. So we should just stay in her room this weekend. I say " sure no problem. Whats wrong?"

Then my girlfriend starts to talk about how her brother, is all fucked up right now. He is using drugs and losing it. And her mother found out, when his girlfriend phoned her up and said her son is a drug addict. It sounded really bad, when she was telling the story.
I say "shit that sounds bad, whats he using?".....
She looks over at me and says "weed"

My jaw drooped to the floor. It sounded like her brother was on heroin and he was gonna die. I got this really fucked up feeling in my stomach, i couldnt tell her now. Its like it was the same shit all over. Girlfriend in 1 hand psychedelics in the other.
All i wanted was to be accepted, to get the green signal on eating shrooms. Maybe down the line eat a few grams with her, and share this beautiful experience.


I care for this girl, but its so sad that all the drug propaganda sticks so well on her. I hate lying to people, but i dont know if i should tell her. She might end up calling my parents. When i think of a life with out psychedelics, i feel kinda sad. Its like i have crossed a line and i cant go back (i dont want to go back).


Here is whats going thru my mind :confused:
1. i tell her about my shroom trips and my needs to use psychedelics, and ride it out.  ( This one will get ugly)

2. I tell her that things are not working out like i planned, and we maybe should go our separate ways.

3. I dont tell her about my trips, and keep using them when i have time

4. I stop using psychedelics, and see what happends.


Thx for reading and any input.
I dont know what to do, the whole thing just makes me sad.


--------------------
Dreaming of that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


Edited by Toolman (04/09/04 02:51 PM)


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Offlinemonkey_monkey
lover

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 77
Loc: UK
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2459627 - 03/22/04 10:01 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

You are who you are! If a life without shrooms is not an happy option then don't have a life without them. All you can do is be honest and open...if she is a cool person and she cares about you then she will listen...Give her stuff to read about entheogens...direct her here..fear comes with ignorance and misinformation.
I had a similar experience with a b/f last year...we had a holiday in Amsterdam and he got all weird about me doing shrooms...said i was irresponsible and selfish...Why?? I still hold down a job, own a house and live a worthwhile happy life..psychadelics let me explore other realities now and then...they make me a better person all round and my friends respect me because they know me!
Bottom line...you ain't hurting anyone..its not affecting your relationship or you as a person...so why should you stop?
Be honest...but be prepared first..state the case...and be brave!! good luck!


--------------------
Monkeys need lovin too!


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OfflineToolman
This one, thisform I hold now
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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 67
Loc: The borderline
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: monkey_monkey]
    #2459694 - 03/22/04 10:55 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Thx for reply monkey

It was my plan giving her information, and to explain how they work, and what they do for me as a person.
And share/tell that to her, because i wanted to open more up and get closer to her. I am not sure i wanna take that step anymore.

I feel it would be like trying to move a mountain. She will say i have drug problems and make it her crusade to save me, blinded by misinformation she will stop at nothing i fear. It was something she said that freaks me out. " I admire my brothers g/f calling my mom and telling her about it" And that was with weed.

Dont get me wrong, i wanna tell her the truth, but not at any price.


--------------------
Dreaming of that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


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Offlinemonkey_monkey
lover

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 77
Loc: UK
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2459727 - 03/22/04 11:12 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Well you could always test the waters a bit...remember we were all non users once...everyone has been ignorant of something at some point. Get reading materials, provoke discussions with her..dip a toe in and see what happens..There is plenty of intelligent and well written info available.
personally I don't think that you can be truly close or intimate with someone when you are hiding something from them..you will be the one that ends up paying the price...I just think its such a damn shame that people are so taken in by media hype and misinformation.

You could say that you "used" to use certain drugs and see how she responds...that way she is able to see that you are still the same person and have not been affected in a negative way.

Though it sounds to me like you have made up your mind...I really feel for ya...One of life's massive pleasures for me is doing shrooms with my man and sharing the intimacy and sheer fun of it.
Couples that play together..stay together...good luck x


--------------------
Monkeys need lovin too!


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OfflineRoseM
Devil's Advocate
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Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,265
Loc: Mod not God Flag
Last seen: 2 days, 13 hours
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2460031 - 03/22/04 01:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

How old is her brother?

Is he older than you?


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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OfflineToolman
This one, thisform I hold now
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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 67
Loc: The borderline
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Rose]
    #2460060 - 03/22/04 02:11 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I am 24, my g/f is 19 and her brother is 21.


--------------------
Dreaming of that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


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Invisibledobinky
infoseeker
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 2,436
Loc: Wiki, Kentucky
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2462067 - 03/23/04 12:27 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Does she need mommy to hold her hand still....

Tell them that alchol is a nasty drug and i bet they all drink it.

i hate people who cant see past themselves....its sad cause they will never grow as an individual.


--------------------
Today?s Pig is Tomorrow?s Bacon


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OfflineToolman
This one, thisform I hold now
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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 67
Loc: The borderline
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: dobinky]
    #2463025 - 03/23/04 07:41 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I told her alcohol is a killer and weed isnt. Well not like that, but we had a long talk/fight about it.

She thinks that weed is a steeping stone to other drugs.
And its easier for a person to smoke weed every day, then to become a alcoholic. And that weed makes u lazy and stupid.


--------------------
Dreaming of that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


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Offlinevalour
Swordbearer

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2463107 - 03/23/04 08:48 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Baby steps, bro.
This is definitely where you don't want to lose your cool.
There can be a line between "not giving up your true self and lying to her" and "letting it all out at once and losing her right then."
Also consider bringing up the drug war sometime (if politics come up) and discuss how most of the bad BS - violence, addiction w/o therapy, fear, getting deeper into them-- around drugs happens because they're illegal)


--------------------
"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2463561 - 03/23/04 01:31 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Tough situation.  I agree with taking 'baby steps', but at the same time, if you would like her to be your significant other, she needs to accept ALL of you, you know? 

Please let us know how it goes, dude.  We're rooting for you!  :thumbup: :heart:


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2463579 - 03/23/04 01:38 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Ya, definitely baby steps. If you can make it work out, then you'll have converted another person against the Drug War. If it doesn't work out, then it just wasn't meant to be.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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OfflineToolman
This one, thisform I hold now
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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 67
Loc: The borderline
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2464016 - 03/23/04 04:20 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Thx for reading and answering guys

I will try the baby steps method and see what happens. And if that dosnt work, it wasnt meant to be.
The thing i was torn about, was choosing a substance over a person.
But it is a part of me, and i like who and where i am at the moment, so why should i change?

Will keep u update in the future

Peace


--------------------
Dreaming of that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


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Invisiblefearfect
Registered: 01/15/04
Posts: 1,845
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2468214 - 03/24/04 06:10 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

People also break up because of other ideals.  Many of us feel strongly about certain substances and a conflicting view in a significant other may be grounds to say that it wouldn't work out.  People also leave each other because of other reasons such as work, money, desire for children, etc.  I think my lady will need to be a psychonaut for it to work out :wink:


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Offlineaje
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Registered: 10/11/03
Posts: 16,390
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Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2523269 - 04/04/04 12:14 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

More people need to realize the devastating effects alcohol has on life in the world. People also need to open their minds to psychedelics.


--------------------



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OfflineToolman
This one, thisform I hold now
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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 67
Loc: The borderline
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2543438 - 04/09/04 02:51 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Its been a few weeks now. And i am doing the baby steps.
We have been talking alot about drugs. Some fights, but she seems interested in what i have to say.
Its mostly weed, we talk about. I have told her about my LSD, Shroom, MDMA and weed use in the past.

It was looking kinda bad, she had a lot of fears. About me using drugs everyday, lie to her about my use, getting fucked up etc.

We had this good talk today imo. After talking about drugs over dinner. She thought that i would smoke weed soon, and not tell her about it. I told her no i dont want to smoke, i dont need that in my life right now( I havent smoked weed in 1,5years). If i did smoke, i would tell her.
Then i told her that, if i would smoke weed i would smoke it with her. I told her that i wanted to share it with her.

She looked kinda strange at me. The words "share the experience" was perfect.
She didnt say much after that. But later in the day, she kinda joked around with the idea of smoking with me. She said "but i am not paying for the stuff lol"

So i may buy some weed for us, in the next few weeks.
Sound like a good idea guys?


--------------------
Dreaming of that face again. It's bright and blue and shimmering. Grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
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Registered: 06/14/00
Posts: 29,281
Loc: Shroomery B-list.
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2543952 - 04/09/04 04:54 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I'd say so. If you two are into the outdoors, i'd say go to a favirot park or sumsuch. If you're more of the indoor type, stay home.
Good luck, and don't let her smoke too much!


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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Offlinevalour
Swordbearer

Registered: 03/02/02
Posts: 1,453
Loc: USA
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2546118 - 04/10/04 09:54 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Sweet - it's awesome to hear that she's being open.  Honestly, considering all the propaganda and other bad info out there, it's not surprising that she's so resistant - esp. with the direct bad experience with her brother.  Good work -- easing into it seems a good fit in this case. 
This is sweet :smile:


--------------------
"Remember, son,
I didn't sell out-
I bought in."


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OfflineGus
Back in town.

Registered: 07/16/03
Posts: 1,503
Loc: Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: Relationship and psychedelics? [Re: Toolman]
    #2548791 - 04/11/04 04:22 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Go take a walk with her in the forest, roll&smoke a joint, make love after. Thats is all.


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