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OfflinePlok
Life is fractal
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My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too)
    #4524497 - 08/12/05 01:23 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I have a strange love/hate relationship with the chronic.

I used to smoke it rarely, because it was so intense, and not entirely pleasurable. The experience was almost psychadelic in nature (though unfocused), I was so high that I couldn't follow the storyline in movies and would see things when I closed my eyes. It was so intense and tiring that I would do it once every few weeks.

But soon... I started doing it more often, maybe once a week or something as the intensity diminished. I would usually use it when I had nothing else to do, as I found the most useful effect of cannabis was that it instantly removed boredom. I wish that I had smoked in high school, it probably would have been a lot more bearable.

As months passed, my use very slowly and gradually increased to the point where I was using it once every few days. By this point I could easily handle any situation while high, and I found that weed greatly enhanced shroom trips, just about doubled their intensity and clarity.

And finally I began smoking almost nightly, to relax, alleviate stress, and tickle my mind. This leads me to now.

I can't speak for anyone else, but the cannabis high does not seem particularly euphoric or pointedly pleasurable. It has a few pleasurable effects such as reducing or eliminating boredom, sometimes giving you a weird sense of introspection, and making social situations sometimes more interesting, but it also has significant drawbacks.

I find the first hour after smoking to be by far the most pleasurable. This is when my mind is the clearest and I have the most energy and the pleasurable effects are most apparent. But after two or three hours, I find myself extremely lethargic, my mind is completely fuzzy, and I am extremely tired. Therefore I can't begin to understand how some people stay high all day long on a daily basis.

Almost every time I smoke I end up eating at least twice as much food as I normally would if sober, and it is almost always unhealthy foods. Although weed by itself doesn't really produce a hangover, I almost always have a hangover from just eating too much (bloated, sick feeling). Nothing I try seems to work in alleviating the munchies, and if I just force myself not to eat, I feel hungry the whole time I'm high.

Anyway... now I am at a point where I feel like I am going to have to start smoking less to enjoy the weed more. I don't feel like I can handle it every night for several reasons, primarily because I find myself unable to be productive in the slighest while high, and because I always end up eating way too much. I find myself wanting to smoke weed instead of talking with friends or finish projects or do something productive. I sense at that point that it is creating a negative impression on my life which is unacceptable.

I know this is really long but I am curious and would like to hear other's experiences with the chronic.


--------------------
Just say NO to the War on Drugs.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/25/05
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Plok]
    #4524751 - 08/12/05 02:03 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I'm in the same boat.

When I first got high it was so intense and I was tripping. I used to have a "signal" that meant I was getting ripped... my mouth would start, quite literally, bubbling.

I'd see colors, I'd see a circus-like room enveloping my apartment.... I'd just be tripping really..... and then when I came down over an hour or two I'd have a great time listening to music and I could control auditory hallucinations while listening to Tool's "merkaba" (i could make the guy keep saying his mantra even after it stopped, sometimes it would trip me out because I didn't consciously do it)

So then I had myself my first bag of weed. I promised not to do it too much.... and the first few times getting HIGH were really high, and just as good.

Then I started using it more frequently and got less and less high, but still real high.

Eventually something went wrong, I'd mess with chakras and bodily energy and now when I got real damn high even though I'd have a good time, my "chakras" would literally explode and it really hurt a lot.... and freaked me out, made me have these "spasms" .... I think it's like, I just.... doze off too much, one thought leads to the next leads to the next leads to the next but you're aware of them all, and you chase them down into a void that is almost exactly like sleep... and then your body says WAKE UP and you twitch really bad, much more so than the average myoclonic jerk.

But I still had great times getting high. Eventually I ran out of novel things to do, the high was just a boredom killer.... but I'd use it very succesfully for introspection and thinking outside the box. And that first high after staying clean a week or two was always great.

Then eventually I got to where I'd need to smoke up maybe every 45 minutes if I wanted to stay high, and I'd just be kind of always in a pot daze so the difference between high and sober wasn't that noticeable.

And like you I started using it for random excuses like "so i can relax and go to sleep" even though the last thing I can ever do is sleep on pot because like said it makes me spasm out, or seize up, or whatever.

But recently I discovered that:
1) you don't have to get "high" you just have to get a decent buzz on to enjoy the herb.
2) doing new things makes a high nice and rewarding.

But you're right, it's not really euphoric... it's just... a different way of seeing the world.... if it weren't for the body problems and the general stupor I'd love the drug, but because of it I indeed have a love/hate relationship.

I think it's critical to do new things while stoned and to not get super ripped as much, to try and keep it to just a moderate stone most of the time if you do it daily or semi-weekly, and to only get real stoned when the "moment is right."

I don't know.

I also sometimes get extremely paranoid and anxious and sometimes even after quitting I just walk around in a state of constant anxiety.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (08/12/05 02:06 AM)


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InvisibleRavus
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Plok]
    #4524922 - 08/12/05 02:27 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I have the same problem as you in that I use cannabis to alleviate boredom. Sometimes I'll go for months without using, then just splurge and get an ounce. After I have pot I'm constantly high, as I have basically no self control in keeping pot. I'll tell myself that I won't smoke it, but then I'll be by myself, bored, and just light up a bowl because I want life to be more interesting. I can do this constantly, smoking multiple times daily for weeks, until I run out and then just stop until I get another impulse to buy more.

I agree though, it does make me tired and lethargic afterwards and has some negative effects, but if you take breaks in between these negative effects go down significantly.


--------------------
So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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OfflineAvatarofAtavism
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Ravus]
    #4525681 - 08/12/05 08:03 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I recommend the cut back. Once a week, or less even. Whatever balances out nicely for you.

I was smoking a half-ounce a week at one point. It was interesting it its own way, but not terribly productive. I could say tons more about that though.

I've cut back to almost a bi-weekly usage now. I'm in no way against more, or less frequent use, but this has seemed to be an excellent pattern for me. Took me too long to figure it out, as with everything.


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Do not despair, said the mystery. You will always have a friend in me. Untill the day you break my code. Then I will be gone, and you are free...
to manifest another.


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Invisibledblaney
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Plok]
    #4526821 - 08/12/05 04:58 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Everyone has their own ideal pot usage amount...you just have to play around with it to find it, I think.

Anyways, with me, I used to love it, smoking it in varying frequencies, sometimes daily, sometimes a few times a week, sometimes a few times a month. It would be really fun, my friends and I would just smoke and laugh at anything and everything.

Then for a time I would get really high: one time we smoked and while high I kept imagining my friends saying things, when in fact they were stone silent...so every few minutes "Did you say something?"

Then I started getting more into psychedelics and my pot highs changed dramatically. After a hellish mushroom trip, whenever I smoked it would cause flashbacks and just a generally unpleasant time.

Socially, it was no longer fun, in fact, quite the opposite. Whenever I would smoke I would become quiet and very socially anxious. But I kept smoking, out of habit, out of boredom, and out of peer pressure. It started taking a toll on my sober life too. I would be more anxious, more paranoid, more cynical (that could have been because of who I was hanging out with though), more aggressive and argumentative, in short just unpleasant.

At the end of last month during an ecstasy session, I resolved to stop smoking for a few months, and so far, so good. I've since noticed a decrease in paranoia and anxiety, a better mood all around, a decrease in panic attacks, and an increase in patience and love.

For now, I'm okay with not smoking, even though 97% of my friends do smoke.

But yeah, to each his own.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Plok]
    #4527595 - 08/12/05 08:20 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Yes!  Finally I can go into elaborate detail about my relationship with Mother Mary (Jane).  :grin:

Okay, let me get high for this one...

Mission accomplished. 

Hmm...I've only been toking up for about a year and a half.  I've been pretty much a daily smoker since the first time I smoked pot.  Well, for a few weeks my husband and I would have our coveted little "smoke out movie nights" where we'd get really stoned and watch a film.  That was SOOO great and so much fun, we started doing it all the time.  Before long, I was high every day.  Pretty soon, I was high all day every day. 

Here is my current routine when it comes to weed:

Wake up- toke.  I don't feel like a normal human being unless I get stoned after getting out of bed.  Washes away any residue from the uncomfortable dreams and helps me to settle immediantly into my day. 

For the rest of the day, I let myself come down, and then get high again.  Over and over.  When I was unemployed, this was my way of life.  Now that I'm working, I have an eight hour stretch where I don't get high.  That changes things a little, but I get high before I go into work and then when I come home. 

The rest of the evening my brain will become ever more saturated in THC. 

Now, I sort of had the problem you are having.  I was very unmotivated when I toked up, very lazy, overeating, didn't want to do shit. 

Things are different now.  I have no choice but to force myself to do things, otherwise I start to berate myself for being a loser.  :tongue: I clean, I write, I go out, etc.  I can function very well when I'm stoned.  I think Mary Jane encourages her users to become lazy, but her influence isn't THAT strong.  Well, it's different for everyone, but I was able to start forcing myself to be less of a lazy stoner and more of a proactive stoner.  How I did this, well, I just did it. 

Now when I get high, I feel miserable unless stuff is done.  So as I'm coming down between highs, I do the shit that needs to be done, and then afterwards, I get high again.  It's been working out very well. 

What I'm saying is, you can train yourself to function quite comfortably and WELL even when constantly high. 

Memory-wise, I'm okay.  I seem to remember more when I'm stoned, but my accuracy in reality may be limited.  I too have the fuzzy-mind thing.  Personally, I love having a fuzzy-mind.  This is because when my mind is not fuzzy, it gets scary.  I'd rather have it fuzzy. 

Even in it's befuzzed state, I can commmunicate articulately and eloquently to other people if the need arises.  Other times, I'm just content to make garbled sentences to myself.  Now this happens a lot when I'm with my husband (probably because I am so comfortable with him we're almost telepathic), and annoys me a little.  I don't think it's ENTIRELY because of the weed, but when I'm super-duper-stoned and can't force out more then a "Abbocc si-nnor?", it gets aggravating. 

Sometimes I get a little concerned about the speech thing.  Like the weirdest shit will come out of my mouth and I am not even aware of what I am saying.  I think this happens to a lot of people so it's not a big deal, but thought I'd mention it anyway.  Like I said, I'm pretty positive that I can't blame weed for my unpredictable speech patterns. 

Anyway, now that I got that off my chest:  Lethargy. 

Well, I vaporize my weed, which makes a HUGE difference in how tired I feel after a getting-high-session.  When I spend all day smoking pot, I feel exhausted by the time night comes.  Like, totally, totally slug-like, and feeling pretty stupid too.  The vaporizing high is much easier on my body then the smoking high.  It feels exactly like you're sober, except you're high.  I hardly ever get tired while using the vaporizer consistantly.  That's why I consider it an excellant morning pick-me-up.  :smile: 

Now, yes, the weed high does get less fun if you do it EVERY day.  I still force myself to take weed-breaks every once in awhile, for the sole purpose of lowering my tolerance. 

Munchies...well, here is how I solved my overeating problem...by chewing gum, drinking water and having nothing in the house to eat but FRUIT!!!  Now when I get the munchies, I have a choice of either a banana or gum or water.  Sometimes I splurge and eat a hamburger or something greasy, but most of the time my options are limited.  Helps keep the pounds off.  :wink:

I love weed...that's pretty much all there is to it.  Even the negative aspects, because I know the negative aspects are in my power to make positive.  I like forcing myself to do stuff when I'm high.  After all if I didn't do that, NOTHING would get done!  :smile:

So that's my relationship with cannabis.


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OfflineNosferatuMan
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: MOTH]
    #4528360 - 08/13/05 01:21 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

It motivates me more than I myself can while sober at times, actually. At least throughout the first hour, then I fall asleep from smoking too much. Wake up, repeat.

It was fun while it lasted, but living with a drug counsellor prevents me from being high most of the time, unless I'm by myslef for an extended period of time, like now for example. =)


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OfflinePlok
Life is fractal
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: NosferatuMan]
    #4532064 - 08/14/05 02:10 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Wow those were some good ideas, Ellemyshshade.

I am going to have to get myself a vaporizer.


--------------------
Just say NO to the War on Drugs.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Plok]
    #4532141 - 08/14/05 02:21 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

It's awesome.  You definitely won't regret having one around.  :thumbup:

I do the vaporizor for most of the day, and only smoke at night to help me go to sleep.


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OfflinePlok
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: MOTH]
    #4532233 - 08/14/05 02:48 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I just ordered the Voodoo from vaporizers.ca

Also 6 boxes of nitrous  :smile2:

I think I am going to cut back on pot though, I think it unbalances my life and distracts me from doing things that really matter.  The main problem is that it instantly removes boredom, when instead I should be reshuffling priorities or being active to change things so that I won't be bored in the first place.

That being said, I haven't smoked in about a week and am eagerly looking forward to the next toke...  :bigblunt:

I wonder why the high from smoking is somewhat different from the high from vaporizing.  Maybe certain compounds don't get produced from vaporizing that do from smoking.


--------------------
Just say NO to the War on Drugs.


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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: MOTH]
    #4532239 - 08/14/05 02:49 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

What kind of vaporizer? I really want one.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: freddurgan]
    #4532257 - 08/14/05 02:53 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I use an AromaZap. A search on google will guide you to one.


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OfflineMk1
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: MOTH]
    #4532897 - 08/14/05 07:04 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I first started smoking hash, and use to dabble in it now and again when i was 13/14, after i found the wonders of skunk i started smoking almost everyday.

But im now quitting, been 3 days without :smile: and im feeling a lot better, the main reason is that it cost me the beautiful and loving relationship with my girlfriend, who couldn't handle my terrible mood swings and paranoia when i was stoned. I use to cut back in the summer when i was back home and away from university, which is probably why she didn't leave me so soon. Also i usually smoked before after a night out drinking, which in turn made me lazy and "not fun to be around" when out, and absolutly wasted when we came back. I promised to quit before, but the day after saying that i ended up drinking 10 pints, couple a whiskey's and a few vodkas followed by a blunt and a couple of bong hits. I was in such a state she said she had enuff. 

I feel a lot better now i've quit, its taken me 3 months after she left me to even attempt it.  if your at a point where your questioning why your smoking cannibis, try and quit, even if its not permanent and see what happens, you never know what the outcome might be.


--------------------
la la la


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Invisibletryptonite
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Mk1]
    #4532911 - 08/14/05 07:18 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I have been smoking since I was 14 when I first started high school, now am nearly 20. I had intense highs like a few people described here also when I first started smoking, in fact the high remained pleasurable right up until now when everytime i smoke i really can't even tell if Im high or not. in the first five minutes i just get that nice light headed feeling then after that its like it wares off straight away. I used weed pretty occasionally up until 1 year or 2 ago since then i have been smoking daily and pretty soon the effects are all but gone. so now, earlier today in fact, i smoked my last bud from ounce i usually buy every month. and Im trying to quit, starting off just quitting for a week seeing how i go. if it is succesful i will try quit for longer and hopefully actually experience being stoned again. it seems like its been so long


--------------------
Entheogen Trade List


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Offlinenateboy7
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: tryptonite]
    #4540564 - 08/16/05 01:37 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Im having almost the same problems with quitting weed as you are...
I started when i was a sophomore in high school, and now im a sophomore at college. In high school, all of my friends did sports through the school to occupy their time. Instead, i just smoked and really did nothing but play games or the occasional drums with a few of my friends. I didnt even have any real school clubs either.

Surprisingly enough, i got into a good college. I joined a fraternity there, and found that pledging would occupy my time ( among other reasons) there i found that most of those guys smoked too, hence never quitting after that. I got a 2.7 through pledging and smoking a few nights a week when i could. the next semester when i had more free time it feels like i scheduled my life around weed...not weed around my life...I would go home from school ( not smoking, surprisingly enough) and do my school work, until the night time when whenever i was done i would go get high. this happened EVERY NIGHT, Even nights before exams and when i'd write papers. My work quality would suffer on those days when i wanted to smoke more. I ended up with a 3.25, surprisingly enough...which makes me realize what i could possibly do without drugs...3.5? 3.7? but what happens if my grades dont go up? will i stoop back down?
anyway, this summer i left it all ( or so i thought) only to arrive at a new place with new faces. new roommates first words, " you smoke?"
it was an all day every day event by the end of the summer(although whenever i could i would do that anyway) , and my wallet took a beating.
In the past few weeks, as well as before in different parts of my life . I'm startin to realize finally that weed is just a hobby or phase or just something to do. I just complied myself a Positive and negative chart for myself, and i'll show you what i put so far:

-sick in winter all the time with sinus congestion
_ tired/burnt out all the time leading to mostly lazyness and dont wanna do anything for anyone else other than myself
- expensive, $50 dollars every week- about $1500 a year or more...
- waste time only playing video games or same thing every day dont really get out and do much.
- un focused
- constant blur of what is going on in your life
- feeling like something is always going wrong because of your marijuana use
-say UM alot, constantly babbling words and sentences into a jumbled mess
- cant really remember too much ( like school work from last semester)
- dry eyes hard to see when coming down
- depression...feeling like you arent going anywhere in life because of weed, yet cant do nething about it
- weed doesnt really do much after the first smoke session until you come all the way down again

+ hobby/something to do,
+ "the weed process" - buying weed, especially different weed strands, grinding it up, collecting keef, packing glass, raising gravities
+ feel good for about an hour
+ laughing/giggling with friends
+ enjoying music and making music even more
+senses amplified


When i look at these positives, do they really outweigh the negatives? From what i gather, most of these positives are short term. Sure i giggle or laugh alot, but not for long. Sure i feel good and music sounds even better when i play with my friends, but when i come down i lose that touch. the negatives are all long term. I realized that i cant really get back the years i lost to marijuana. The times that i could have been doing something worthwhile with my life i just sat around and smoked.
But the absolute hardest thing about my whole problem is that I can't really do anything about it. I see my marijuana usage as more of a problem each and every day, yet do nothing about it. When i do leave marijuana, or tell myself i want to leave it, i "fiend" for it and want it even more than in the first place. I spend my day wondering what it would be like if i was high or where i can find some bud at and go through all this psychological work, then when i go back to it, its still the same old feeling.
What is going on in my head? I have a really addictive personality. I have only tried shrooms other than weed...and they are really good ( and made me wanna quit a few times too, but didnt) and even then i would pretty much do them whenever they are around. I resisted the other drugs for the same reason. Offered more coke, extasy, molly and acid this summer than anything, resisting bonnaroo's madhouse of drugs, offers for sex on rolls, amazing days at the beach with 6 of my roommates doing rolls and me not doing anything because i see how that makes them. SO why does weed put me like this?
I really need help I think, atleast some kind of guidance.

I really want to quit before school next monday so i can get my life together, but i don't know if i can bring it to an end without some sort of "control factor" in my life


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OfflineGrav
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: nateboy7]
    #4545970 - 08/17/05 10:42 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

good for the end of summer


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InvisibleEmbracingShadows
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) *DELETED* [Re: Plok]
    #4546925 - 08/17/05 04:03 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Post deleted by EmbracingShadows

Reason for deletion: Why not? Maybe it was a secret... Or maybe it was even.. an ancient picture of a hypodermic needle so powerful that every being who even lays eyes on it instantaneously becomes a dying heroin junkie... Such power.. Is meant to only be in one mans hands...



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OfflinePlok
Life is fractal
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: EmbracingShadows]
    #4546971 - 08/17/05 04:14 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I haven't smoked for like 8 to 10 days and I finally got some bud again so I'm lighting up tonight  :bigblunt:  My tolerance should be way lower by now


--------------------
Just say NO to the War on Drugs.


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Invisiblegema
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Plok]
    #4547644 - 08/17/05 07:16 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i would suggest cutting back to about once every two weeks and only do it on the weekends. smoking everyday is overkill and abuse. you are supposed to learn how to use mj and not let it use and control you.


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OfflineSuperLazy
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Re: My relationship with cannabis (and I want to hear yours, too) [Re: Plok]
    #4554350 - 08/19/05 03:27 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

When I first started smoking it was like your experience...really dispersonalizing, visuals behind the eyes (really intense w/ music), and just generally weird and introspective. As I smoked more and more and built a tolerance those intense effects went away and basically being high to me was a warm, fuzzy cannabinoid body buzz; relaxation; a sort of goofy feeling (laughing attacks) and munchies and music enhancement. After smoking daily for 4 years however, it started to wear on me....it sort of lost the goofiness and music enhancement, and the mental buzz switched to a sort of "stupid" feeling...almost like being really fucked up on valium but being coherent and not stumbling around like one is drunk. also the cannabis body buzz never went away but I'd have to smoke alot to get it at a nice intensity. The worst part was when I didn't smoke I felt completely burned out and apathetic...also there were more lung problems than I'd had at any point in my life. It also kinda wore on me mentally in that I started becoming more paranoid of people and would have occasional moments where I thought I was hearing things that I knew weren't there or voices that weren't real, though I never had anxiety/panic attacks like some people who smoke alot get. That's the reason I don't really smoke much at all anymore. Anyway that's my story, hope it gives some insight.
:peace:


--------------------
" Don't ration your compassion " - unknown


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