so i was thinking of a metaphor for the modern human. in this metaphor you are yourself, in your left hand you have an object of beauty, purity, innocence, benevolence, call it what you like, what matters is that it is very small and precious. to have it is to live happy, healthy, free, and to truly feel valuable. to lose it is depression, depersonalization, corruption, ruin, to live, but not to thrive, you can survive without it, but are ever shadowed by the loss. deep in regret, sorrow, hollowness, a shell. now in this metaphor, you are not alone, you are surrounded by monsters, who show no sign of leaving, they exude malice and immure you like a cage. they are menacing and insidious, all their intent is upon your ruin and the pleasure of their master, who is ever in your direct sight, looking not unlike yourself, but penetrating you with a massive ego-crushing will that makes you unable to see the boundry between him and yourself, his will cuts upon you like fire rain, right hand stretched out to take your glorious item, whispering that it would be simple, that all hope is lost, but never admitting it clearly enough to be a lie, ever torturing your mind, making it seem as though he takes it from you anyway, peice by peice and that perhaps some type of peace exists in surrender. so easy, like putting it in your own other hand, but so dire and grave, a warning shines above, and he always tries to distract you from it, bait you into his way of thinking. you might try to ignore him, but only once for you cannot close your eyes to him, as he is far more terrifying in your mind. he stands before you, a totem, ever waiting for your one thing that means evrything to you. able to know your evry thought and action, and fully expecting victory over you, completely doubtless, even sloppy, but triumphant that it does not matter, knowing even his losses give him power by showing you how he cannot be defeated, and how you can be. his monsters grow exponentially closer, never reaching you, but always able to move closer, till their breath is wet upon you, the sparkle of their teeth making your skin feel smooth. the smell, oh the horrible smell. you are facing your own ruin. living in todays world, and evry day more of yourself is taken away by every regeret, every fear, evry ignored benefit from corruption and patronage of those less fortunate, evry part of yourself you cannot face. by ignoring the fight, you lose it. how many people are sufferign from depression? on antidepressants? they arent helping, never really will, what the world is suffering from is a sorry lack of identity. it is stolen from them, by temptation. belief in greed, excersizing ones ability to covet and becomming proud of qualities that are tainted. turning fear into anger instead of abbandoning it and comming to terms with it. fearing being truly known and in doing so comming to hate yourself. cultivating addictions, cultivating a marketable self, splitting yourself in two to keep them separate, but it has to be real doesn't it? this is the disease that we made when we abbandoned our freedoms for comfort it is not fatal, but shall we resign ourselves to a fate worse than mere death? you cant corrupt death, and we all go through it. life is where we exist, and it is the culmination of that lifes experiences that defines us as a being. how do you want to be summed up? for those of you who cant understand allegory, or simply wont, let me put it this way, you think, you can differenciate between yourself and the world around you, by implication you understand you exist, if your an atheist, you still have to admit, youre something and you beleive at least there is a universe in which to put yourself. you most certainly, from the stand point of your own personal point of reference (that would be you, your mind, behind your eyes or whatever you think you are) MUST beleive that you matter and define yourself upon this belief. therefore, you understand the importance to live rightly, if for nobody else than for yourself. SO, how do you fight this invincable metaphorical foe? i thought about it for a long time. i considered fighting. but thats sinply a battle of will, you're no match, and your will, when filled with malice enough to be potent in combat is automatically his. so it would be destructive to fight. running, even if the monsters werent ever present, which they are, where would you go? to a magical land? a land of alcohol and heroin? it would work, but wait and see how goddamn big the monsters got while you were away. you also would lack by this point the one potent weapon you need to confront him. as i feel ive identified. compassion. when faced with a devil, could you forgive him? to feel no malice, to truly show him love, not devotion, not reverence, simply pure empathy. understand his passions, and seek to replace the objects of his desire with emotional comfort. see him not as a disgusting twisted wretch, but as a child made monster by nature. could god himself forgive the devil? ask god why hes an athiest. maybe he just cant forgive the devil. im thinking, of creating a real public forum, sort of like a social mechanism, not unlike a church, but open and in public, all people welcome to share, t5o express their veiws loudly and clearly, the policing agents of the society we have made would be unable to provide "free speech zones" for the movement would be widely accepted and could form anywhere without much prior organizing (by leftist yahoos for example) the media would be welcome, not led away like with just about all recent demonstrations. a truly open podium, with no podium to hide behind, perhaps a network of people who have megaphones who can begin anytime the need arizes, up to and including the presence of government figureheads, it would be unlawful to disperse such gatherings by force, and widely resisted. it would be accepted by society so arrests made to silence oppinions would result in huge public outcry, and people would not be afraid of the concequences, the monsters, or the man with the outstretched hand. i would give this whole post as a speach and not be afraid, i would plea, not demand, that people show compassion towards the man with the outstretched hand, show him he shall receive not what he seeks and only that which we feel is good for all. people will have voices, they will matter. they will be able to stop hating themselves and eachother, resistance to self-understanding wont feel right anymore, the most important thing in the world will fit snuggly into the hand that will treat it best, forever. are you feeling me?
|