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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help
#1627349 - 06/11/03 08:04 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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For all my spirtuality and lack of interest in materialistic things, cars, cloths etc, there's one thing that has been utterly important to me for the last 12 years , weight lifting, and more recently biking and running. After my tramatic experience on shrooms about 4 months ago, my body has morphed into a grotesque and amorphous mass of blubber. This is exceedinly painful. I've very self concious of this and I reel in agony when I see my old pics from my racing days. I'm on the verge of deciding on liposuction. I wish I could just be paitent and try to lose the weight slowly, but the damn Effexor I'm taking for my depression and anxiety is causing the weight gain. I think it would help me considerably, emotionally, if I went for liposuction. I feel like a woos/words here>, but I know that it would help me become more comfortable with myself. Heck I feel awful and embarrsed about why I even take it so seriously. But u have to see where I'm comming from, I was very athletic for some time, and now I can barely recognize myself (both mentally and physical appearance). I figured if I could at least look a bit like before while also continuing with therapy mediation etc, I might benefit. Damn, I feel like such a looser even righting this post. But the shroomery is my home and the people here understand me, so I figured I'd give it a shot (honest and open... always). thanks everyone
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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dog
straw dog
Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 2,790
Loc: Route 66
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: lucid]
#1627475 - 06/11/03 09:09 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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It seems odd that a spiritual and unmaterialistic person such as yourself would put place so much importance on your physical appearance. There is much more to you than how you look.
What is preventing you from getting back into the physical activities you loved so much? I can guarantee you'll feel better, you'll take off the weight and you might even get off those anti-depression pills.
If lipo-suction will get you started then do it. The important thing is to just GET STARTED.
-------------------- Fascism (fash'izem) n. A governmental system marked by a centralized dictatorship, stringent socioeconomic controls, and often belligerent nationalism. see also: the Bush Administration.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: dog]
#1627680 - 06/11/03 10:37 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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hey lucid, I am here for you. "You can do itttttttt" I understand what your going through. It hard to look at pictures of yourself before the incident. To remember, thats how you looked and the way your mind functioned at the time, is hard to deal with. I haven't gained any weight but I am not on pills yet. Do you enjoy working out still? Do the pills make you not want to workout? I think I am going to start working out again. I kinda stopped. hang in there. I wouldn't get liposuction, it costs alot of money. I think working for your goal, might help you get back that mind set that you once had before. "A guy who came to Fight Club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood." "Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them." you choose Do what makes you happy. peace zerohero "Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing."
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: dog]
#1627734 - 06/11/03 10:57 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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try the atkins diet... you can continue to lift weights, and the crapload of protein will allow you to build muscle. a lot of calorie reducing diets won't give you sufficient protein in order to continue building and repairing muscles.
the atkins seems perfect for you, plus, it works better than anything else out there.
and for the "spiritual" comment by dog, there is nothing "unspiritual" about keeping a healthy body... at least you can obtain a healthy body during your life here on earth, but that quest for a healthy mind of the "spiritual" eludes many who seek it... but i guess this is for the S+P forum
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manna_man
High onlife.....andcrack
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: ]
#1627801 - 06/11/03 11:43 PM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Keep at it man! Getting in shape takes a lot of determination/ will-power. I've gotta start workin out too since I've gotten a little chubby over the last few months. Whatever you do, do not resort to lipo. Even though you might - stress on the MIGHT- look a lot better on the outside, you will feel like shit on the inside. Wouldn't it be much more gratifying to know that you've accomplished a task purely on your own? Trust me, although lipo might seem like the "quick fix" for your present situation, it is definitely not worth it in the long run. Good luck
-------------------- This post is protected under copyrite law.All above content is strictly the property of ?manna_man.Any infringement of copyright property is strictly prohibited.Any violators will be stretched, shot, and then vaporized into a state of anti-matter, where they will cease to exist.
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: manna_man]
#1628317 - 06/12/03 07:27 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hi Everyone, Thanks for the kind supportive words I was completely wasted when I wrote this last night But it holds true. My excess baggage bothers me to no end. And dog, u're absolutely correct, it's egotistical and materialistic and very out of allignment with my lifestyle, but it's the truth. Over the years I've learnt that one must be truthful especially with oneself. No, I don't even think about buying furniture, latest gadgets, cloths, fancy cars (although I do own a hot rod - but this is by complete coincidence, long story), exotic vacations etc. I'll give u a rundown of my apartment... matress, bike, computer, desk, gym, stereo (I'm not kidding this is everything I own, I don't even have a dinning table or chairs - gave everything to my ex, I honestly don't need it, never missed it). My matress is 6ft by 4 ft, so u can tell how much "action" I've been getting I havn't been with a girl for 2 years now. I'm saying all of this, because, I want to point out how important it was for me to be extreemly fit and lean. It was part of my spiritual practice and unfortunately I *did* identify with it. Now, when I look in the mirror, I don't recognize myself... worse yet tho is not even the appearance, it's the lathargy caused by being overweight and an inability to keep up any activity (i.e biking) for long. I used to indulge in long (120 mile) rides on weekends, now I run out of steam walking to work 5 minutes away. And the appearance is important to me, I don't know why. It's not just because of what others think (altho, I do feel hurt when people make fun of me now), but even if I was on a deserted island with no one around, I'd still want to be very lean and fit. I've tried hard to change this aspect of my perception, but it's a struggle, and I've accepted how I feel about this rather than deluding myself and telling myself that I don't care about my physical state. Not sure how I'll deal with it yet. I was thinking that liposuction might break this cycle of lathargy by making me lighter (plus I'd feel guilty about spending the money and would be forced to continue) - but I honestly can't justify the cost considering how much good I could do with the money instead of indulging my stupid ego. I really appreciate all the positive feedback I got from u guys :-)
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: lucid]
#1628330 - 06/12/03 07:40 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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I was debating posting this for a while... I'd never think of posting this anywhere, but the shroomery is home now. This is pathetic, but u guys are family and I don't mind being my pathetic ol self here. So here's a pic of me 3 months ago... if u invert the pic u'll have a good idea of what kind of shape I'm in now...yup, I got attached to my sense of self... not good...
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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KOPELANDIAA
Stranger
Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 805
Loc: under a pine
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: lucid]
#1628406 - 06/12/03 08:50 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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in three months ????!!! i can't believe you...you can't loose all those muscles, i'm sure they are still there ! Don't you have a pic of you now ? As for me, i understand your position...since i am in Japan i gained so much weigh for the first time in my life...japanese food is so good...can't stop aargh
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: KOPELANDIAA]
#1628428 - 06/12/03 09:04 AM (20 years, 9 months ago) |
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>Don't you have a pic of you now ?
those are no carb brownies, I promise !!! sigh..
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: lucid]
#1839793 - 08/22/03 07:19 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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LMAO! Sorry to rekindle such an old thread but THAT was funny!
-------------------- "Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#1839928 - 08/22/03 08:40 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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I managed to strike a deal with a local bakery... they'll pay for the liposuction as long as I sanction the use of the extraction for making cookie dough
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: lucid]
#1839936 - 08/22/03 08:45 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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mmmmmmm blubber bisquits! Sounds yummy!
-------------------- "Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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neutralizer
Spiritual beinghaving a Humanexperience
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 635
Loc: This Planet Earth
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#1839937 - 08/22/03 08:45 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Hehe..yeah your last post was funny lucid.
I'd just like to add one thing after reading through this, I recommend against the Atkins diet unless you are going to do it short-term (under 3 months). IMO there just isn't enough "new" evidence to show me that the multitude of evidence saying that it is harmful in the long-run is false. Also, my friend was on effexor, and he hated it...can you get on any other meds? Maybe talk to your doctor about the weight and how it's bothering you and ask if he can help recommend a weight-loss/exercise plan to help you lose the pounds, and switch your meds while he's at it.
Hope you're doing better, a couple months later since the last post.
-------------------- There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors - Morrison
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: neutralizer]
#1839952 - 08/22/03 08:50 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Actually, I'm in shape again. Had to work unbelievably hard for it tho - can't believe I managed. Lost 20 Ibs in 6 weeks... put 1,500 miles on my bike...whew... I'm an obsessive nut...
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: lucid]
#1839961 - 08/22/03 08:53 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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I also followed the "Starving Buddha" diet No enlightenment tho...sorry... maybe if I have a bowl of rice...
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: lucid]
#1839965 - 08/22/03 08:54 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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It's always cool to read a sucess story man, way to go!
-------------------- "Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#1839966 - 08/22/03 08:55 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Although on the downside i guess this means no blubber bisquits pour moi
-------------------- "Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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neutralizer
Spiritual beinghaving a Humanexperience
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 635
Loc: This Planet Earth
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#1839974 - 08/22/03 08:59 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Good to hear, my friend
-------------------- There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors - Morrison
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness
Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: Agonizing Self Image Problem Please help [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#1839976 - 08/22/03 09:00 AM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
FreakQlibrium said: Although on the downside i guess this means no blubber bisquits pour moi
yup, no more dough in this dough boy It was Pillsbury's idea, they got tired of the dough boy image and decided to go with the new "Tommy Hilfiger" look A dough boy with Abs watch out for him in the next "Hot Bod" commercial
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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