seems so wrong, but I kind of feel that way.
I should be grateful for the little I have. I'm not sure I even deserve this much.
I wish I could go back and change everything.
Sometimes,I feel like I just make myself and others miserable. I've even tried to use that as a self-justification for suicide before.
I can't even handle my life anymore. I know that some people have done more with less. Maybe I'm just weak.
I've been thinking of committing myself, because I'm too weak to face up to the mess I've made of my life, and fix it.
On the other hand, if I go into the hospital again, life will be so much harder when I get out. I've been through that before... and I've been playing catch-up for years, barely surviving, sometimes. Mostly only because of the kindness of others.
Sorry, shroomery. I had to rant, and sometimes you're the only one that will listen.
Sometimes,I even feel cynical about that.
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