| Home | Community | Message Board |
|
You are not signed in. Sign In New Account | Forum Index Search Posts Trusted Vendors Highlights Galleries FAQ User List Chat Store Random Growery » |
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
NextShop:  Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds  Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order  All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck, Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags by Magic Bag |
| |||||||
|
Anonymous #1 |
| ||||||
|
So I've had a complicated history with interacting with people. In elementary school, I had no friends, I started making more friends in middle school who later became really good friends in high school. In high school, especially during my junior and senior years, I suddenly became very good at socializing with people. I could hang out with people and pretty much know their life story, their motivations, lots of crazy random shenanigans they've been involved with, and their goals for the future in a few days. We weren't afraid at all to dig into some pretty taboo stuff either. I would know how many sexual partners people had had, when they lost their virginity, how much they masturbate or have sex, what their religious and political beliefs were, and even talked to people about their struggles with depression, anxiety, or social problems. I one time went on a cruise and met up with a bunch of teenagers I had never met before in my life and a few days later we had like a two hour long conversation about jerking off. It seemed like nothing was off limits back then. We talked about everything. I was so confident in my social skills that I felt like I could make friends anywhere. I could be in a completely random situation with nothing to help facilitate social contact, and make several friends. We were also incredibly good at going from a bunch of crude jokes to pondering the existence of god or something like that.
Now, I'm nearly finished with my sophomore year in college and you would really think that things would stay the same. I was really confident going into college because of my success in high school, but things didn't stay the same, they changed dramatically. I only know two people on the same level that I knew a couple dozen people on in high school. I've lived with two people who I honestly know very little about. The nothing is off limits conversations are gone unless I'm talking to the two close friends I have made. What's even weirder, is that even if I talk to high schoolers now despite having been out of high school for almost two years, I start socializing like I did in high school again and suddenly can socialize fluidly. In college, I'm frequently trying to make conversations with people and it goes awkwardly. I don't think its because they dislike me or anything, I think, for some reason its become a lot harder for me to make connections with people and I don't understand why. Its become especially apparent with girls. I've always had more male friends than female friends, but in high school, I still had a decent amount of female friends. I'd say it was like 60% male friends and 40% female friends. I managed to hookup with several girls too but now, 100% of my friends are male and I haven't hooked up with any girls. I have female acquaintances but not really any friends. I can make small talk with them when tipsy or drunk at a party but haven't found a way to actually really hang out with anyone. I find all of this especially confusing because, based on the way I was in high school, I felt like I was made to excel at college life. My friends and I loved to come up with all sorts of wild schemes. I loved to party, I had plenty of experience with alcohol and drugs, I got along with people great, I definitely hooked up with girls more than most guys I knew, and I got incredible grades. I graduated with a 3.9 unweighted GPA while barely putting any effort into it. Last semester though I got the first C I've ever gotten and I'm about to get another one. Most of the other people I knew were nervous and excited at the same time for college but I wasn't nervous at all, just excited. Everyone kept telling me how much I was going to love college and I already loved high school so I figured college was going to be even better. Nobody was more confident going into college than I was. I could not have been more wrong and its been a humiliating experience. Everyone who knew me in high school asks how college is going, and I know they expect to me be like "holy shit its amazing, its like animal house up here, I have so many friends and there's so many parties and girls." The reality is, my social life has been in crumbles since I got here. I can't get laid to save my life now even though I go to parties every weekend. During my entire freshman year, despite living on campus in a dorm, I had one friend that I got dinner with once, maybe twice a week. I had some acquaintances, but all we did was go to parties together. Now I'm living with my friend from freshman year and another friend so things are better but not much better cause all we do is just hang around the apartment all day and maybe watch some TV. In high school, my friends and I had all kinds of shenanigans we got into practically every day. My life in high school was literally comparable to Superbad. I just don't understand where things went so wrong. I thought that socializing was supposed to get easier in college. From what Google says, my experience is pretty uncommon. Almost everyone describes life as getting better in college, having better friends, getting girls more easily, having more fun. How the fuck did I go from having this amazing social life in high school, to having such a shitty one now? Even the people who describe having "peaked in high school," often consider their college years as either a part of that peak or as still being pretty good but maybe not quite as good. I'm sorry this is so long but its been really hard for me to talk about with people and I feel shitty writing this even though its anonymous but I really want to figure out how to turn things around while I still have time. I still hang on to a sliver of hope that maybe I can turn my college experience around and recreate what I had in high school.
| |||||||
|
Anonymous #2 |
| ||||||
|
I guess in some ways my college experience mirrors yours. I actually went to a commuter campus the first 2 years and then transferred to a main campus. I am not overly social to begin with and the commuter campus did nothing to prevent me from being largely isolating. They would have stuff on campus but it usually meant driving back or staying around for hours and i wasnt doing either.
When I got to the main campus I was a junior. This meant most people had already established peer networks and i had not. So I spent the last 2 years with the single person i did get to know only going to parties on the weekend and selling alcohol to underclassman. Literally the only time I got laid in college was because I bought alcohol for a freshmen and she thought i was hot, if not for the chance interaction I wouldnt have at all in college. I am also 8 years out of college so I have had plenty of time to look back at it and say eh it wasnt bad. The worst part was I was a massively lonely alcoholic so my own depression and alcoholism are to blame for why things went the way they did... socially not academically i mean. I think you should work on it because the one thing I might regret is not actually connecting with or socializing with people as you have maybe 2 years before it gets way more difficult. In high school I was a weed dealer so I knew almost everyone, went to parties constantly, it seemed i had a lot of friends. College was difficult since then I still struggle socially but have grown very comfortable with myself. Sometimes I wish it would bother me like it did then, maybe id go out and meet more people. I am happy now even though i have 3 good friends and just coworkers... the only thing i can say is whether you become more social or not youll be happy with yourself in the end. I know I am and i went through some pretty rough times in college and afterwards but they all made me very accepting of who i am, socially, physically, mentally... it was like in 2008 i wanted to be someone else but i just wanted to be a more mature me. I didnt want to be anyone else but someone who accepts me for me, eventually if you dont give up you will accept you for you. Even if you dont get more social or even if you do, just dont be too hard on yourself and remember these things dont last forever.
| |||||||
|
Anonymous #1 |
| ||||||
Yeah, this sort of confirms a theory I had about my status in high school. In high school I think its easy to be seen as cool by people for being a badass who's breaking a lot of rules. In your case, selling weed got you badass status. I didn't sell weed myself, but I knew where to get it, as well as alcohol. That along with all the wild adventures my friends went on made me cool. I figured it was the same way in college just on a higher scale so I presented myself to my hallmates as a party person who liked to smoke weed and was experimenting with LSD and ecstasy. Didn't work as well as I was expecting, My hallmates were drinking liquor like water but were scared of LSD. I knew people who wouldn't think twice before getting shitfaced in their dorm room on a Monday but still judged me for taking LSD. Its not so much that I can't accept myself for who I am or that I need people's validation in order to feel good about myself. Its that one of the biggest lessons I learned in high school, is that with friends comes opportunities. The entire reason that my life in high school was so good was because of my expansive social circle. Not just that but I had a life that was constantly updating, and it was exciting to watch everyone around me growing too. It was exciting to be there while we all overcame obstacles in our goals in life, and to feel like an important part of somebody else's life. I felt so connected to several different people that their struggles felt like my struggles. Their opportunities excited me almost as much as it excited them. There never seemed to be a dull moment in my life because there was always something exciting happening in someone I knew's life. Meanwhile though, having all these friends gave me the opportunity to make my life so exciting as well. My lifestyle now has become extremely stagnant by comparison. The close friends of mine that I have made have complained about the same thing. Our lives never change at all. Its basically the same routine every week. We go to class on weekdays, hang out and watch TV. I go to a party on Friday or Saturday, and smoke weed on one of the other days. The next week, start it all over again. Out of all four people in my apartment, my life is actually the most exciting because I still go to so many parties but outside of the party of the week, nothing interesting happens. Once in a blue moon something interesting happens with us, but not nearly as often as in high school. Even the party might not be that interesting. One of my roommates is very private and doesn't disclose anything about himself so even though we talk when he's in the apartment, I have no idea what he does when I'm not around him. So now, I'm depressed because I feel like I'm not really living life anymore. I feel like I got the high school experience, but I'm failing to get the college experience. I went from this highly stimulating lifestyle that felt like a real life TV show, to this new lifestyle where nothing seems to really happen. I drink, party, and do a lot more drugs now, but that stuff doesn't seem exciting anymore so much as it feels like a routine. I also feel like I could hookup with girls a lot more if I, you know, actually hung around some of them. To a certain extent, my close friends at college understand what I'm going through. But they've made peace with the idea that they're not going to get the college experience. Makes sense because one of them decided to just work his ass off so he could graduate early, and my other friend feels like he just wasn't made for college and wants it to be done. I haven't made peace with the idea of my college experience being ruined. My depression is stemming a lot from the fact that I'm afraid that its over, I missed my shot and its too late to recover my life here. I still hang onto a little bit of hope that I can turn it around though. In high school for example, my freshman and sophomore years were mostly content years, but I was a little bored then too. My life now is honestly more exciting than my freshman and sophomore years of high school, I'm just more used to it. My junior and senior years of high school was when things really took off and I really just want to go back to that life. Because of this, I still have some hope that things could suddenly change dramatically. After-all, from what I've seen, college is very unpredictable and things could change dramatically for the better or the worse when you least expect it to.
| |||||||
| |||||||
Edit 
Reply 
| Shop: Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck, Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags by Magic Bag |
|
| Similar Threads | Poster | Views | Replies | Last post | ||
 |
 |
the church is scamming my grandma for 1 grand |  Anonymous |
470 | 10 | 10/19/09 12:37 PM by Anonymous |
|
 |
A Couple of Urban Rants. | Anonymous |
551 | 18 | 08/26/09 08:37 PM by Anonymous |
|
|
am i being unreasonable? (  1 2 all ) |
Anonymous |
1,233 | 36 | 08/31/09 12:15 AM by Anonymous |
|
|
Did I just sell to an informant? ( 1 2 3 all ) |
Anonymous |
2,649 | 44 | 06/25/08 05:11 PM by Anonymous |
|
|
Youngest age of a girl you'd let give you head? ( 1 2 all ) |
Anonymous |
1,950 | 37 | 09/02/08 07:49 PM by Anonymous |
|
|
ARE YOU A LIBERAL FUCK-TARD? ( 1 2 3 4 all ) |
Anonymous |
1,955 | 75 | 09/09/09 09:26 PM by Anonymous |
|
|
Th Abortion Poll ( 1 2 all ) |
Anonymous |
1,212 | 36 | 11/26/08 05:15 PM by Anonymous |
|
|
How long were you a Virgin? ( 1 2 3 4 all ) |
Anonymous |
2,687 | 74 | 12/09/08 10:23 AM by Anonymous |
| Extra information | ||
| You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled Moderator: trendal, Shroomism, george castanza, Alan Rockefeller, yogabunny 635 topic views. 0 members, 5 guests and 5 web crawlers are browsing this forum. [ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ] | ||
