youbreakyoubuy said:

  I just remembered something so awful that this post has to begin and end with facepalm.

So...I hadn't smoked in ages, and shortly before driving over to my brother's, I got hooked up with a quarter sack.  Now, I live two and a half hours from my brother, but on the way over I ran into a bad traffic jam.  So, I'm sitting on the interstate, smoking away, and got blazed as fuck.  Next thing I know, I'm horny as fuck.  Me being who I am, I jacked off in the car and aim my dick into an Arizaon Green Tea Bottle.  Now that I've had my O-face, I turn up the radio and smoke some more and chill out with my pot induced, 'gasm enhanced euphoria.  It was awesome.   An hour or so later traffic finally lets up, and it turns out the traffic jam was caused by a rock slide.  What do ya know?  Hm.

Anyway, finally get up to interstate speed and make some headway on the journey.  Next thing I know, gotta piss.  So...I pull into a rest area and get out of the car.  I think about it and reach back into the car and grab the tea bottle and walk up to the pisser.  Fucker was closed.  Ugh.  Oh well.  But...still got this cum filled tea bottle... gotta get rid of this thing.  So, I walk around the corner of the rest area hoping that the washroom was around the corner.  All this time I had my jacket in one hand and the bottle in the other. 

As I turn the corner, I realize that I'm sort of cold, and that I might as well put on my jacket.  So holding the tea bottle in one hand, I slip the jacket over the other arm, and then, without letting go of the bottle, I put my other arm into the other sleeve.  As I'm sliding it in, the bottle gets stuck inside the jacket because of the buttoned cuff.  I don't really think much about it and wave my arm around like I'm missing a hand.  All of a sudden, I feel this cold, cold feeling on my arm, and at the same time, I get a whiff of something funky.  Fuck!!  The fucking cap had come off the bottle and hour and a half old cum dribbled out all over my arm and into the sleeve of my fucking jacket jacket!  Fuck!!!  I'm trying to get that shit out of the jacket, but the bottles so frickin' huge, and the bottle won't go past the buttoned up cuff of the end of the sleeve.  Fuckin', fuck, fuck.  After what seems like ages, I get the buttons of the cuff undone and pull the bottle out with my other hand.

Jizz smell is strong now, and there's fucking jizz all up in my jacket sleeve.  There's jizz all over my hand.  I finally get around the other corner of the building, and there's still no fucking bathroom.  I look around for a hose...no hose.  I run back to my car, and root around for some napkins.  I find some, wipe off my arm as best as possible, and gingerly pull my arm out of the sleeve.  Fortunately I got most of it out of my shirt, but the jacket still has that smell to it.  Agh...  I change shirts and throw the jacket in the trunk.

I get to my bro's, and I immediately use his bathroom and wash my forearm really well.  The next day we get in my car to go pick some stuff up for our road trip.  We start going down the road.  He sniffs and asks, "What's that funky smell?"  I say, "I dunno."  And change the subject. 

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youbreakyoubuy said:

What!?

A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do.

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youbreakyoubuy said:

did you jack off while you were lost?
That always disorients me.

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