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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: alternatereality] * 1
    #11780780 -

(dont wanna read this long-ass, boring post? read the summary in the post below this post!)

Title: "Biggest Stoner Move Done by [Purity]"
Author: Purity
Course: PUB1101

This was years ago, but i remember posting about it on the shroomery shortly after it happened, so i think i can remember the "important" details. (note: there are no important details in this story)

Dosed ten 10mg Marinol (yes, Marinol: those orange, oil-filled gel-spheres w/ a black imprint of "um") obtained from a skinny girl i was dating, named Angie, whose dad was going through chemo... yeah, i guess that makes me a terrible person. Anyway I forgot about having dosed & went on with my day.

I smelled a strong ammonia-like odor in my room & realized i forgot that for about a week, i didnt leave my room at night to piss (cold floor), so i just pissed in my garbage can (again, cold floor). i Should also note that i had apparently put cigarettes out in it so it smelled extra bad... like meth-lab bad!
So i decide "this shit's gotta go" & devise a plan to dump it in a semi-wooded area at the end of the block... "but thats a long walk... But it has to be dumped somewhere!?"  For whatever reason, concluded i would dump it over my backyard fence into my neighbors bushes... yeah i guess that makes me a terrible person (x2).

I grabbed the makeshift-urinal (or "garbage bin" as America has programmed you to call it) & after taking two steps with this wobbly, liquid filled container in my hands, the marinol kicked in HARD. My eyes immediately turned blood-red. I stepped outside to see that it was just my luck that ALL my neighbors (ALL above 60yo) had congregated in the yard directly across from mine.
As soon as i stepped outside they all turned their heads (or Hoverrounds) to look at me. This immediately struck extreme anxiety & paranoia into me: clearly turning around immediately to 'abort-mission' would look suspicious, right? So i had to just keep moving.

I live in Florida & most of us "beach-kids" (as opposed to "town-kids") wear flip-flops, as I was. For some reason, God made a small portion my driveway raised about 3 inches higher than the rest of the fuckin' driveway... & he chose to place this 3-inch raised edge right in my path, right at this time.
My flip-flop hit the raised concrete perfectly & caused me to stumble, spilling the vile, bacteria-filled liquid all over the concrete.
"eh. fuck it." i thought as i walked back inside, my thc-induced thoughts racing.

Perhaps 5 to 10 minutes had passed & i had forgotten all about the spilled, possibly combustable fluid on the driveway & had entered my room & gotten on my laptop. Shortly after, a voice enters my house which i quickly identify as my sister, but something's wrong(?). There is an urgent concern in her voice, so i listen carefully: "oh my gawd! you can smell it all around the house!"  I was in no state to explain (or fix) this problem, especially because i was really high... not to mention really comfortable. i simply sat there & proceeded to crack-up as quietly as possible.

My laughing could only be muffled for so long as atleast two other voices were heard entering the house complaining of a "strong, chemical odor filling the neighborhood". As soon as i identified the final voice as that of an elderly neighbor who lives 4 houses down, i just started literally laughing out loud.

My poor neighbors, see me acting fucked up, spilling shit, having a strange half-rotten/half-astringent odor fill the block, & come to my house only to hear me laughing hysterically from behind closed doors.
This was before i first moved out of my mom's house, so when my eyes started to look like i was just a little high instead of blazed outta my mind, i had to have a difficult conversation explaining what had happened... but i couldn't fully explain 'why' it happened (i mean, "cold floor" just doesnt justify pissing in a garbage bin for a week solid, ya know?).

Edited by purity (01/07/10 01:12 AM)

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: purity]
    #11780788 -

Title: "[summary of] Biggest Stoner Move Done by [Purity]"
Author: Purity
Course: PUB1101

-pissed in garbage bin inside room for week
-forgot about it for about a month
-dosed 100mg of Marinol (Marinol=synthetic thc) obtained from Angie
-smelled the "forgotten make-shift urinal"
-smelled very bad
-Marinol kicks in
-i become very high
-i go to dispose of forgotten piss
-i spill forgotten piss on driveway
-i say "fuck it" & walk back into house
-people start showing up at house complaining of meth-lab-like odor filling the block
-more people start showing up complaining of horrible odor
-i remain in my room giggling
/END

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: purity]
    #11780798 -

That is too good for words :highfive:


--------------------
SHROOMS MAKE YOU GAY
~
Crystal G said:
  its cuzzzzzz i giiiiiive a meeeeean blooooowjjjobbbb.

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: LadyLittleZeppelin]
    #11780871 -

I dont understand how you forgot that you pissed in a garbage can in your room for a week:shrug:





Me while driving: "Dude, where are my keys! Shit! i think I left my keys at Doug's house!"

Friend: "You're fucking driving!"

Me: "Oh yeah..."


--------------------

 
  "It's all just a dream, babe
          A vacuum, a scheme, babe
                That sucks you into feelin' like this."

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: crackawebsta]
    #11780884 -

Quote:
I dont understand how you forgot that you pissed in a garbage can in your room for a week


Regularly combining pharmaceutical opiates & benzodiazepines helped, i suppose.

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: purity]
    #11780890 -

I suppose they could


--------------------

 
  "It's all just a dream, babe
          A vacuum, a scheme, babe
                That sucks you into feelin' like this."

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: crackawebsta]
    #11781003 -

i came home from a night of unholy blazing and drinking and preceded to lay on the couch and watch tv.

and then i knoticed that it was infact not my house.:facepalm:


--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT


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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: purity]
    #11781008 -

Ummm.....why didn't you just dump the piss in the toilet :confused:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: niteowl]
    #11781014 -

Hence a stoner move lol


--------------------
SHROOMS MAKE YOU GAY
~
Crystal G said:
  its cuzzzzzz i giiiiiive a meeeeean blooooowjjjobbbb.

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: LadyLittleZeppelin]
    #11781030 -

When i was in high school me and some buddies did a skip day cause one of my boys mom was out of town. so we started smoking blunts at 7am by 8am I was insanely hungry.

So I started to call ALL the pizza places in town. Any of them that had voice mail went something like this...

Hey why arent you guys open we're fucking hungry. Dude give us a call when you open cause we are gonna order so much fucking pizza.
Best part is we got a call back .

The other had to be one of my first times smoking , My mom caught me high as fuck as I was eating 3 bacon bits and ranch sandwich's, while drinking a whole pitcher of kool-aid (was like 13) She was screaming at me telling me to goto my room.
I yelled fine but im taking the kool aid with me!


--------------------
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.


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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: purity] * 1
    #11781037 -

If you don't want to read this, look at the summary at the bottom!

lol! That reminds me of another stoner move...

I took a huge dump right before going to work, and of course, the toilet clogged (if you don't hold the handle down on the previous flush, it just clogs).

Usually it's pretty easy with a plunger to unclog, but this clog was a beast... I just couldn't get it flowing! So i said fuck it, and left for work, thinking when i got back, whatever was clogging the drain would be mushy and ready for unclogging..

when i got home again, the shit had become a slurry of brown. It looked like someone dropped a chocolate cake into chocolate milk and mashed it all up...

And it was still clogged. Knowing i was in for a tough time, i decided to get ripped. First mistake.

So the first thing i tried was furiously plunging the bowl, this was making poo water splash around, and it stank... so for some reason, i thought if i could replace the poo water with clean water, i'd be able to plunge it super hard, without poo water going everywhere. I found a really shitty pond pump, and figured i could pump the water out...

It pumped into a bucket with a little trickle...and i had to break everything up so that it would go in the tube.... I was gagging hard about now... but also laughing at how bad this whole situation was...

So after pumping like 4 bowl fulls of shit soup, and realizing that it wasn't really getting much cleaner, i just said fuck it and plunged it as hard as i could, making brown poo water slash over the rim...

...then it FINALLY gave way, and i did a ceremonial dance, to celebrate victory! This is when i knocked over the bucket full of shit water on the floor...



so, after cleaning alll that up, i tossed the uncleaned pump, and bucket outside, cuz i was fuckin' done with that shit...

a few days later i find the same pump (which looks a bit like a trumpet) in my living room. Appearently my nephew was using it as a flute...blowing into the end that i used to break up all the shit clumps. I could still see shit inside the tube!

No one must ever know...

Summary:

-clogged toilet with huge shit
-went to work and left it
-came home to a full on shit stew, still clogged
-got stoned
-pumped shit out of bowl at a frustratingly slow rate for a half hour
-finally got it unclogged
-knocked over bucket full of shit on the floor
-a few days later found out my nephew was using the shit pump that i was too lazy to clean as a trumpet, putting his mouth on the end that was in the toilet...


--------------------

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: Meat_hod]
    #11781050 -

i would be puking all over the place making it much worse.


--------------------

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: Meat_hod]
    #11781059 -

:evilpuke:


--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT


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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: Salomon]
    #11781073 -

im waiting for the chic that says

"I started making out with this guy and bit his herpie cause he didnt tell me he had an STD, what an ass hole now I have to tell every one I sleep with that I have this virus, wish he would have been less than a piece of shit and told me first cause I wouldnt have slept with his nasty ass"


but I havent seen it yet


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: fee]
    #11781172 -

fee said:
im waiting for the chic that says

"I started making out with this guy and bit his herpie cause he didnt tell me he had an STD, what an ass hole now I have to tell every one I sleep with that I have this virus, wish he would have been less than a piece of shit and told me first cause I wouldnt have slept with his nasty ass"


but I havent seen it yet


:facepalm:

A cold sore is NOT an STD


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: niteowl]
    #11781245 -

one of the first times i ever got high, we were sitting in my friends room. i stood up started getting loud trying to convince the other people they were stoned and i was completely sober.


--------------------
:penis:

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: niteowl]
    #11781287 -

niteowl said:
fee said:
im waiting for the chic that says

"I started making out with this guy and bit his herpie cause he didnt tell me he had an STD, what an ass hole now I have to tell every one I sleep with that I have this virus, wish he would have been less than a piece of shit and told me first cause I wouldnt have slept with his nasty ass"


but I havent seen it yet


:facepalm:

A cold sore is NOT an STD


I guess doctors are wrong then huh?

http://www.doctorslounge.com/infections/forums/backup/topic-7054.html

Ninety percent of all people will have at least one cold sore, (herpes simplex outbreak) sometime in their life. Some children who are affected with cold sores may become seriously ill. However, after the first cold sore infection, many people develop antibodies to the cold sore virus and never have another cold sore. About 40% of American adults, however, have repeated cold sores.

Cold sores are highly contagious when a flare up is present, and a cold sore can be transmitted even when there is no visible signs of a cold sore, this is called viral shedding. Children often become infected with the cold sore virus by contact with parents, siblings or other close relatives who have cold sores.

The cold sore virus is highly contagious. Anyone experiencing symptoms of a cold sore must be very cautious when being intimate with another person so as not to transmit the cold sore virus. Those who have symptoms of a cold sore should refrain from contact with another person to help avoid transmission of cold sores. If the cold sore virus has been transmitted, the infection is permanent.

Cold sores can be either a one time event or reoccur. Possible causes of a cold sore reactivating may include stress, fever, menstruation, cold, fatigue and sunlight. Recurrent cold sores usually occur as lesions in or around the mouth.

Cold sores can be transmitted to the genitals by oral sex.


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: fee]
    #11781404 -

One time a took a hit of weed & shit spewed out of my anus all over your mom's face. it was crazy!

*edit: okay, i may have been getting a little desperate on this one. i may have exaggerated some parts of this story.

Edited by purity (01/07/10 04:22 AM)

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: purity]
    #11781581 -

Ah I was with a friend one day, desperate for some weed, so she said she'd call up her friend cause she was going to have people to smoke at her place that afternoon..

So we go meet her, and she's with this ratty group of people (bunch of lads, for the aussie users..) who were all nice enough, but were just totally different to my friend and I..Playing G-Unit and shit, laughing about dumb shit even for a stoner. So that's alright, we get the g we bought off them, smoke a couple of cones each and smile politely. The whole time we're looking at each other signalling that we needed to get out of there asap, both obviously extremely uncomfortable.

So we get up and leave, and we're both laughing and feeling just so happy to be in the sole company of someone who you actually enjoy being around...And then it hits me, I forgot my bag.

I point this out to my friend, and she tells me to go get it and she wasn't coming with me..even though it was her friend's house, while I knew no one there.

I walked in, and awkwardly said "Forgot my bag" and then left. One of those situations where the weed involved made it seem dramatic and catastrophic, and it really angers you cause it could have been so easily avoided, were it not for the weed.

That's why I get out there and smoke fools on the b-ball court.

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Re: Biggest stoner move you have done [Re: Met]
    #11784975 -

:facepalm:  I just remembered something so awful that this post has to begin and end with facepalm.

So...I hadn't smoked in ages, and shortly before driving over to my brother's, I got hooked up with a quarter sack.  Now, I live two and a half hours from my brother, but on the way over I ran into a bad traffic jam.  So, I'm sitting on the interstate, smoking away, and got blazed as fuck.  Next thing I know, I'm horny as fuck.  Me being who I am, I jacked off in the car and aim my dick into an Arizaon Green Tea Bottle.  Now that I've had my O-face, I turn up the radio and smoke some more and chill out with my pot induced, 'gasm enhanced euphoria.  It was awesome. :awesome:  An hour or so later traffic finally lets up, and it turns out the traffic jam was caused by a rock slide.  What do ya know?  Hm.

Anyway, finally get up to interstate speed and make some headway on the journey.  Next thing I know, gotta piss.  So...I pull into a rest area and get out of the car.  I think about it and reach back into the car and grab the tea bottle and walk up to the pisser.  Fucker was closed.  Ugh.  Oh well.  But...still got this cum filled tea bottle... gotta get rid of this thing.  So, I walk around the corner of the rest area hoping that the washroom was around the corner.  All this time I had my jacket in one hand and the bottle in the other. 

As I turn the corner, I realize that I'm sort of cold, and that I might as well put on my jacket.  So holding the tea bottle in one hand, I slip the jacket over the other arm, and then, without letting go of the bottle, I put my other arm into the other sleeve.  As I'm sliding it in, the bottle gets stuck inside the jacket because of the buttoned cuff.  I don't really think much about it and wave my arm around like I'm missing a hand.  All of a sudden, I feel this cold, cold feeling on my arm, and at the same time, I get a whiff of something funky.  Fuck!!  The fucking cap had come off the bottle and hour and a half old cum dribbled out all over my arm and into the sleeve of my fucking jacket jacket!  Fuck!!!  I'm trying to get that shit out of the jacket, but the bottles so frickin' huge, and the bottle won't go past the buttoned up cuff of the end of the sleeve.  Fuckin', fuck, fuck.  After what seems like ages, I get the buttons of the cuff undone and pull the bottle out with my other hand.

Jizz smell is strong now, and there's fucking jizz all up in my jacket sleeve.  There's jizz all over my hand.  I finally get around the other corner of the building, and there's still no fucking bathroom.  I look around for a hose...no hose.  I run back to my car, and root around for some napkins.  I find some, wipe off my arm as best as possible, and gingerly pull my arm out of the sleeve.  Fortunately I got most of it out of my shirt, but the jacket still has that smell to it.  Agh...  I change shirts and throw the jacket in the trunk.

I get to my bro's, and I immediately use his bathroom and wash my forearm really well.  The next day we get in my car to go pick some stuff up for our road trip.  We start going down the road.  He sniffs and asks, "What's that funky smell?"  I say, "I dunno."  And change the subject.  :facepalm:


--------------------
Let that which doesn't matter truly not matter.

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