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OfflineViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Final Post
    #889407 - 09/17/02 08:29 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I'm kinda depressed all of a sudden. It feels as though i have done something wrong. I guess i just asked for too much info and i got it. The whole problem is not the info but my lack of mental stability, i have such grander visions than i could ever attain in this lifetime due to lack of focus.

for anyone that wants to know what god looks like, look at an atom. you will notice the souls or protons or whatever circling the neucleus but still part of the one like all being revolve around the centre of the universe, a tiny molecule in the infinte body of god. some protons are circling the through the necleus or source, those souls would be expereincing oneness with god, which i can attain in a matter of minutes and hold for as long as i wish. you will also notice that life is eternal through this realization. even if you were to die right now and enter a self created hell it would be your choice to move out of it, experience oneness and thusly cycle back into physicality to experience your next grandest vision.

mastery or full realization is attained through constantly experiencing the oneness,, there is one catch however, and that is skitzophrenia/insanity whatever which is why a master should be saught. I have become lost in some weird world of witches and goblins and shit and my head is completely fucked. everything is breathing and i am starting to get hallucinations/delusions, however it is still bliss because of my higher knowing, it is mastery which i cannot attain with this body. so i have basically said fuck it and i will probably end up in a mental hospital.

if you want to know the future of planet earth, it is over. the goal now is ascension. the highest realization is transcendance or attaining liberation with the physical body, highly evolved societies, this cannot be attained with the depleted energies of this planet, mother earth has been too damaged. you will ascend unto new earth and cycle into the oneness an exsist their as long as you choose before humans decide to inhabit another physical demensional planet, and the cycle will begin again and hopefully we will get it right this time. that is the reason for the pyramids on mars, failure to experience a planet of transcended masters or a highly evolved society.

as your awareness increases i say again be careful. imagine living in the windowlicker video by aphex twin, the hall of mirrors, this is what i experience constantly, even looking at money, it is my face on the money. I see my reflection in the walls of my house because what do the walls of my house contain, atoms. i can see energy.

as you evolve further you will realize that your brain takes information in through the five senses, even your memeories are generated this way, your senses are the illusion, you must move to your inner senses or energy centres to connect to god. in the peace and quiet moving away from requirement will you experience these truths, you just have to love and shut up your mind. if you move far enough away from your senses you will realize that you are made of shape, sound, and light(color) just like the wall you are looking at, it is your senses which are seeing that wall as seperate, the wall is god, do not be surprised if the wall starts talking to you either.

what does mastery look like? imagine a painting infront of you, and you are holding the paintbrush, i have glimpsed this with marijuana and of course mushrooms and even mildly while sober. you would realize that space does not exsist and you would be completely attuned to your sixth sense, you would be able to see and manipulate energy, and of course you would realize and see with your own eyes as i have that we are all one. you would never curse another soul cause you would see with your own eyes as i do that it is you staring back, you would essentially move into the experience of god, the whole point of life both physically asnd after death id not attained in physicality, and the cycle would start over again. many od you have understood that even the universe is expanding and will one day contract, life is is not in doubt, ever. life is beautiful except i am not here right now to become a master, i am a bringer of the light and insane. I am so close to mastery, yet so far away. maybe a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. anyways my buddy says hi, kyle, trippiest guy i know.



peace>


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




Edited by ViBrAnT (09/17/02 08:33 PM)


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #889578 - 09/17/02 09:57 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

If focus is your problem, then you need some Adderall.

Can't say I really give a shit one way or the other about your proposed absence as posts like these seem to be fashionable these days. Someone posts that they're leaving... someone feigns tears... "compassionate" words... blah blah... a week goes by and the poster is back....

Whatever.
If this is for real... have fun and stay away from the dogma.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Sclorch]
    #889601 - 09/17/02 10:09 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I hear you.

I feel a difference between MAIA's post/thread and this one. Vibrant seems like he may come back. Then again, how would I really know that?

Couple o' comments from me about me:

I never feign anything. I feel deep compassion for many members here and that includes you. If you were to leave I would feel very very bad for a while. That's my nature/nuture.

I have been to several message boards and sometimes made a big splash out of leaving and sometimes didn't. But every time I made a point to let people know I wouldn't ever be back I never went back, ever. I do not say such things lightly. Not only did I not go back to post. I never visited the message board again. To do so would be hypocritical.

I have no intention of leaving here, at least for a long long while, and whatever circumstances that would be under I cannot say. This is my home. Why would I leave?

That is all.


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #889613 - 09/17/02 10:18 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

To do so would be hypocritical.

You know... there are (at least) two types of hypocrisy.
Short term and the long term.

I can't stand short term hypocrisy, but long term... to me, it means the person has changed. It's a continuum of sorts... but long term usually means (at it's shortest) a few months.

Hypocrisy that is immediately admitted isn't always (short term) hypocrisy... sometimes it's flexibility.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Sclorch]
    #889623 - 09/17/02 10:25 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, that's true. Then again the more beer I drink the more sense you make. Why is that?


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Offlineakyouser_oner
unclefuckerextrordinaire

Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 546
Loc: standing in the shadows a...
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #890231 - 09/18/02 05:47 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

brother, this is why the Masters say very little. just keep mellow, and go with the flow. don't say too much (if you're really worried about the mental hospital). now that you've got the gift, the goal is to integrate it into human life (possibly teach?)...


--------------------
-akyouser.oner
<(((((((((((((((@~~~


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
Elder
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 13,184
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 11 hours, 40 minutes
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #890848 - 09/18/02 11:46 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, it seems like you've overloaded your synaptic circuitry. Seeking out a good (and understanding) mental health professional sounds like a good idea. If you are having uncontrolled visuals (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder), or you think the universe is relating to you in special ways (like the news people on TV are talking to you on another level that only you recognize), then you're having 'Ideas of Reference,' which is delusional behavior. Some medication might be necessary for a while, but you'll either have to see a therapist who is a medical doctor (psychiatrist), or a psychotherapist (non-medical discipline) who can refer you to a psychiatrist for meds. These kinds of symptoms can usually be quickly relieved, but don't attempt to self-medicate yourself with pharmaceuticals , cannabis, alcohol or anything else. Lay off the psychedelics. Don't be too proud to ask for some help with this if it doesn't go away by itself.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Invisiblebuttonion
Calmly Watching

Registered: 04/04/02
Posts: 303
Loc: Kansas
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #890970 - 09/18/02 12:46 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Vibrant,

Seriously, go back and reread Markos's post. Chill on the drugs. You're probably thinking that you could if really you wanted to, but the only real test this is to prove it to yourself. And talk to a mental health professional- if you are thinking and perceiving shit that is not consistent with reality, think about how dangerous this is for yourself and others- driving a car, handling dangerous objects. Let us know how it goes.


--------------------
Concepts which have been proved to be useful in ordering things easily acquire such an authority over us that we forget their human origins and accept them as invariable.- Albert Einstein


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #891006 - 09/18/02 01:04 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

you are getting too much info all at once... take it easy, relax... try not to grasp that truth only with your head... try to feel it, go within yourself... you KNOW the truth... there is no need to lose yourself in it, and get caught... just let go...


--------------------


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #891558 - 09/18/02 06:06 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

find a new place to live

i went through the same thing...

change your daily surroundings

do things physically, stop thinking about it so much..

remember that you are a human being



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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #891592 - 09/18/02 06:20 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Do not try and fight or change the illusions (including sensory perceptions); instead work towards transcending them.
Easier said than done, I know...
But hang in there. And when you get things straightened out, please return.


--------------------
:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Adamist]
    #892071 - 09/18/02 10:05 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Adamist, i think people might sometimes wander too far out into the desert without enough supplies
maybe they should return home and drink some water and rest before they get too lost, then they can continue on their journey

hehe, my silly metaphors..


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #892104 - 09/18/02 10:15 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, it seems like you've overloaded your synaptic circuitry. Seeking out a good (and understanding) mental health professional sounds like a good idea. If you are having uncontrolled visuals (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder), or you think the universe is relating to you in special ways (like the news people on TV are talking to you on another level that only you recognize), then you're having 'Ideas of Reference,' which is delusional behavior. Some medication might be necessary for a while, but you'll either have to see a therapist who is a medical doctor (psychiatrist), or a psychotherapist (non-medical discipline) who can refer you to a psychiatrist for meds. These kinds of symptoms can usually be quickly relieved, but don't attempt to self-medicate yourself with pharmaceuticals , cannabis, alcohol or anything else. Lay off the psychedelics. Don't be too proud to ask for some help with this if it doesn't go away by itself.


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #892562 - 09/19/02 06:18 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Deja vu...


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Sclorch]
    #892574 - 09/19/02 06:26 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Jamais vu...


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OfflineViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #893521 - 09/19/02 02:08 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Fuck i cant stay away from here it is an addiction, i love this forum, i was also extrememly drunk when i wrote that. I am going to the doctor again in a couple of days to get tested for skitzophrenia, the drug i am taking right now makes me even more delusional.

I kinda got get this out. I actually feel all the time that there are special messages for me, like i keep looking at the clock on the 11's. Everybodies face looks like mine alot of the time, even on money. I often think that everyone knows something i do not, even on this site, its a big setup and one day you will tell me that i was the only one, but it was part of the game and i wanted it. anxiety and reminescent thoughts, fantasies about killing people or that someone is coming after me, not a human but spirits if i know too much of the truth(assuming it is the truth).

well thats my story, and just last night i tried to shut my mind off completely to counter the anxiety. if i was able to meditate i could counter it but my back starts to hurt for some reason, really pisses me off. I had shut my mind off for about 3 hours but i just started to question things further, it seemed like we were in some made up fantasy land, even words became meaningless, i didnt recognize anything, even my own reflection seemed like another person. meditation has become such an addiction, the fact that i cannot meditate is what sprung my anxiety up again, it feels like my root chakra.

sorry bout the soft story but i feel the shroomery is a place where i dont have to think twice about sharing whatever is on my mind.

peace>


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




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OfflineLaCasta
Beyond Good andEvil

Registered: 05/23/02
Posts: 1,332
Loc: Chicago
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #893915 - 09/19/02 05:25 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

In reply to:

anxiety and reminescent thoughts, fantasies about killing people or that someone is coming after me, not a human but spirits if i know too much of the truth(assuming it is the truth).





you know you need help right?


--------------------

"Memories of high speeds when the cops crash, As I laugh pushin the gas while my glocks blast" -RIP Tupac


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #893947 - 09/19/02 05:40 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Vibrant: remember one thing

you WILL come out of this
its like learning how to walk again, it will take time.

dont panic. relax.
everyone is here for you and wants to help you
we understand what you're going through
be strong.



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OfflineViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Grav]
    #893980 - 09/19/02 06:05 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

You remind me so much of myself Grav it is scary. I could come out of this anytime i want but every time i try to meditate my back starts to fucken hurt. my happiness aint so much of a choice anymore, it is even more painful now that i have learned happiness(enlightenment) is a choice. not only have i failed to realize this all my life, now that i have discovered it, i cannot even choose it,hmmmmmmmmm. My life has been a complete failure on every possible level i can imagine. I feel totally cut off from my creative side too. Lost job, lost car, about to lose home, but wait there is still hope, hmmmmmmmm. one thing left to do, go nuts, this will be a challenge, i dont mean no half ass nuts, i mean totally nuts.

10 grams mushrooms
4 capsul dmt
5 grams weed
6 hits lsd
2 hits, red nike

i have a question for you guys, what do you think of dxm?


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #893989 - 09/19/02 06:07 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

every time i try to meditate my back starts to fucken hurt

Don't worry about that... completely normal. It's just your rod of Brahma, or sacred phallus, mutating and destroying old ways of thinking and feeling. It's a sign that your growing, and not just physically.....


--------------------
:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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