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OfflineViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Final Post
    #889407 - 09/17/02 08:29 PM (19 years, 9 days ago)

I'm kinda depressed all of a sudden. It feels as though i have done something wrong. I guess i just asked for too much info and i got it. The whole problem is not the info but my lack of mental stability, i have such grander visions than i could ever attain in this lifetime due to lack of focus.

for anyone that wants to know what god looks like, look at an atom. you will notice the souls or protons or whatever circling the neucleus but still part of the one like all being revolve around the centre of the universe, a tiny molecule in the infinte body of god. some protons are circling the through the necleus or source, those souls would be expereincing oneness with god, which i can attain in a matter of minutes and hold for as long as i wish. you will also notice that life is eternal through this realization. even if you were to die right now and enter a self created hell it would be your choice to move out of it, experience oneness and thusly cycle back into physicality to experience your next grandest vision.

mastery or full realization is attained through constantly experiencing the oneness,, there is one catch however, and that is skitzophrenia/insanity whatever which is why a master should be saught. I have become lost in some weird world of witches and goblins and shit and my head is completely fucked. everything is breathing and i am starting to get hallucinations/delusions, however it is still bliss because of my higher knowing, it is mastery which i cannot attain with this body. so i have basically said fuck it and i will probably end up in a mental hospital.

if you want to know the future of planet earth, it is over. the goal now is ascension. the highest realization is transcendance or attaining liberation with the physical body, highly evolved societies, this cannot be attained with the depleted energies of this planet, mother earth has been too damaged. you will ascend unto new earth and cycle into the oneness an exsist their as long as you choose before humans decide to inhabit another physical demensional planet, and the cycle will begin again and hopefully we will get it right this time. that is the reason for the pyramids on mars, failure to experience a planet of transcended masters or a highly evolved society.

as your awareness increases i say again be careful. imagine living in the windowlicker video by aphex twin, the hall of mirrors, this is what i experience constantly, even looking at money, it is my face on the money. I see my reflection in the walls of my house because what do the walls of my house contain, atoms. i can see energy.

as you evolve further you will realize that your brain takes information in through the five senses, even your memeories are generated this way, your senses are the illusion, you must move to your inner senses or energy centres to connect to god. in the peace and quiet moving away from requirement will you experience these truths, you just have to love and shut up your mind. if you move far enough away from your senses you will realize that you are made of shape, sound, and light(color) just like the wall you are looking at, it is your senses which are seeing that wall as seperate, the wall is god, do not be surprised if the wall starts talking to you either.

what does mastery look like? imagine a painting infront of you, and you are holding the paintbrush, i have glimpsed this with marijuana and of course mushrooms and even mildly while sober. you would realize that space does not exsist and you would be completely attuned to your sixth sense, you would be able to see and manipulate energy, and of course you would realize and see with your own eyes as i have that we are all one. you would never curse another soul cause you would see with your own eyes as i do that it is you staring back, you would essentially move into the experience of god, the whole point of life both physically asnd after death id not attained in physicality, and the cycle would start over again. many od you have understood that even the universe is expanding and will one day contract, life is is not in doubt, ever. life is beautiful except i am not here right now to become a master, i am a bringer of the light and insane. I am so close to mastery, yet so far away. maybe a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. anyways my buddy says hi, kyle, trippiest guy i know.



peace>


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" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




Edited by ViBrAnT (09/17/02 08:33 PM)


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #889578 - 09/17/02 09:57 PM (19 years, 9 days ago)

If focus is your problem, then you need some Adderall.

Can't say I really give a shit one way or the other about your proposed absence as posts like these seem to be fashionable these days. Someone posts that they're leaving... someone feigns tears... "compassionate" words... blah blah... a week goes by and the poster is back....

Whatever.
If this is for real... have fun and stay away from the dogma.


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Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Sclorch]
    #889601 - 09/17/02 10:09 PM (19 years, 9 days ago)

I hear you.

I feel a difference between MAIA's post/thread and this one. Vibrant seems like he may come back. Then again, how would I really know that?

Couple o' comments from me about me:

I never feign anything. I feel deep compassion for many members here and that includes you. If you were to leave I would feel very very bad for a while. That's my nature/nuture.

I have been to several message boards and sometimes made a big splash out of leaving and sometimes didn't. But every time I made a point to let people know I wouldn't ever be back I never went back, ever. I do not say such things lightly. Not only did I not go back to post. I never visited the message board again. To do so would be hypocritical.

I have no intention of leaving here, at least for a long long while, and whatever circumstances that would be under I cannot say. This is my home. Why would I leave?

That is all.


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #889613 - 09/17/02 10:18 PM (19 years, 9 days ago)

To do so would be hypocritical.

You know... there are (at least) two types of hypocrisy.
Short term and the long term.

I can't stand short term hypocrisy, but long term... to me, it means the person has changed. It's a continuum of sorts... but long term usually means (at it's shortest) a few months.

Hypocrisy that is immediately admitted isn't always (short term) hypocrisy... sometimes it's flexibility.


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Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Sclorch]
    #889623 - 09/17/02 10:25 PM (19 years, 9 days ago)

Yeah, that's true. Then again the more beer I drink the more sense you make. Why is that?


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Offlineakyouser_oner
unclefuckerextrordinaire

Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 546
Loc: standing in the shadows a...
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #890231 - 09/18/02 05:47 AM (19 years, 9 days ago)

brother, this is why the Masters say very little. just keep mellow, and go with the flow. don't say too much (if you're really worried about the mental hospital). now that you've got the gift, the goal is to integrate it into human life (possibly teach?)...


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-akyouser.oner
<(((((((((((((((@~~~


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
Elder
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Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 7 months, 21 days
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #890848 - 09/18/02 11:46 AM (19 years, 9 days ago)

Yeah, it seems like you've overloaded your synaptic circuitry. Seeking out a good (and understanding) mental health professional sounds like a good idea. If you are having uncontrolled visuals (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder), or you think the universe is relating to you in special ways (like the news people on TV are talking to you on another level that only you recognize), then you're having 'Ideas of Reference,' which is delusional behavior. Some medication might be necessary for a while, but you'll either have to see a therapist who is a medical doctor (psychiatrist), or a psychotherapist (non-medical discipline) who can refer you to a psychiatrist for meds. These kinds of symptoms can usually be quickly relieved, but don't attempt to self-medicate yourself with pharmaceuticals , cannabis, alcohol or anything else. Lay off the psychedelics. Don't be too proud to ask for some help with this if it doesn't go away by itself.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Invisiblebuttonion
Calmly Watching

Registered: 04/04/02
Posts: 303
Loc: Kansas
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #890970 - 09/18/02 12:46 PM (19 years, 9 days ago)

Vibrant,

Seriously, go back and reread Markos's post. Chill on the drugs. You're probably thinking that you could if really you wanted to, but the only real test this is to prove it to yourself. And talk to a mental health professional- if you are thinking and perceiving shit that is not consistent with reality, think about how dangerous this is for yourself and others- driving a car, handling dangerous objects. Let us know how it goes.


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Concepts which have been proved to be useful in ordering things easily acquire such an authority over us that we forget their human origins and accept them as invariable.- Albert Einstein


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #891006 - 09/18/02 01:04 PM (19 years, 9 days ago)

you are getting too much info all at once... take it easy, relax... try not to grasp that truth only with your head... try to feel it, go within yourself... you KNOW the truth... there is no need to lose yourself in it, and get caught... just let go...


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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #891558 - 09/18/02 06:06 PM (19 years, 8 days ago)

find a new place to live

i went through the same thing...

change your daily surroundings

do things physically, stop thinking about it so much..

remember that you are a human being



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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
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Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #891592 - 09/18/02 06:20 PM (19 years, 8 days ago)

Do not try and fight or change the illusions (including sensory perceptions); instead work towards transcending them.
Easier said than done, I know...
But hang in there. And when you get things straightened out, please return.


--------------------
:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Adamist]
    #892071 - 09/18/02 10:05 PM (19 years, 8 days ago)

Adamist, i think people might sometimes wander too far out into the desert without enough supplies
maybe they should return home and drink some water and rest before they get too lost, then they can continue on their journey

hehe, my silly metaphors..


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #892104 - 09/18/02 10:15 PM (19 years, 8 days ago)

Yeah, it seems like you've overloaded your synaptic circuitry. Seeking out a good (and understanding) mental health professional sounds like a good idea. If you are having uncontrolled visuals (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder), or you think the universe is relating to you in special ways (like the news people on TV are talking to you on another level that only you recognize), then you're having 'Ideas of Reference,' which is delusional behavior. Some medication might be necessary for a while, but you'll either have to see a therapist who is a medical doctor (psychiatrist), or a psychotherapist (non-medical discipline) who can refer you to a psychiatrist for meds. These kinds of symptoms can usually be quickly relieved, but don't attempt to self-medicate yourself with pharmaceuticals , cannabis, alcohol or anything else. Lay off the psychedelics. Don't be too proud to ask for some help with this if it doesn't go away by itself.


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #892562 - 09/19/02 06:18 AM (19 years, 8 days ago)

Deja vu...


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Sclorch]
    #892574 - 09/19/02 06:26 AM (19 years, 8 days ago)

Jamais vu...


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OfflineViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #893521 - 09/19/02 02:08 PM (19 years, 8 days ago)

Fuck i cant stay away from here it is an addiction, i love this forum, i was also extrememly drunk when i wrote that. I am going to the doctor again in a couple of days to get tested for skitzophrenia, the drug i am taking right now makes me even more delusional.

I kinda got get this out. I actually feel all the time that there are special messages for me, like i keep looking at the clock on the 11's. Everybodies face looks like mine alot of the time, even on money. I often think that everyone knows something i do not, even on this site, its a big setup and one day you will tell me that i was the only one, but it was part of the game and i wanted it. anxiety and reminescent thoughts, fantasies about killing people or that someone is coming after me, not a human but spirits if i know too much of the truth(assuming it is the truth).

well thats my story, and just last night i tried to shut my mind off completely to counter the anxiety. if i was able to meditate i could counter it but my back starts to hurt for some reason, really pisses me off. I had shut my mind off for about 3 hours but i just started to question things further, it seemed like we were in some made up fantasy land, even words became meaningless, i didnt recognize anything, even my own reflection seemed like another person. meditation has become such an addiction, the fact that i cannot meditate is what sprung my anxiety up again, it feels like my root chakra.

sorry bout the soft story but i feel the shroomery is a place where i dont have to think twice about sharing whatever is on my mind.

peace>


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




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OfflineLaCasta
Beyond Good andEvil

Registered: 05/23/02
Posts: 1,332
Loc: Chicago
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #893915 - 09/19/02 05:25 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

In reply to:

anxiety and reminescent thoughts, fantasies about killing people or that someone is coming after me, not a human but spirits if i know too much of the truth(assuming it is the truth).





you know you need help right?


--------------------

"Memories of high speeds when the cops crash, As I laugh pushin the gas while my glocks blast" -RIP Tupac


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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #893947 - 09/19/02 05:40 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

Vibrant: remember one thing

you WILL come out of this
its like learning how to walk again, it will take time.

dont panic. relax.
everyone is here for you and wants to help you
we understand what you're going through
be strong.



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OfflineViBrAnT
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Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Grav]
    #893980 - 09/19/02 06:05 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

You remind me so much of myself Grav it is scary. I could come out of this anytime i want but every time i try to meditate my back starts to fucken hurt. my happiness aint so much of a choice anymore, it is even more painful now that i have learned happiness(enlightenment) is a choice. not only have i failed to realize this all my life, now that i have discovered it, i cannot even choose it,hmmmmmmmmm. My life has been a complete failure on every possible level i can imagine. I feel totally cut off from my creative side too. Lost job, lost car, about to lose home, but wait there is still hope, hmmmmmmmm. one thing left to do, go nuts, this will be a challenge, i dont mean no half ass nuts, i mean totally nuts.

10 grams mushrooms
4 capsul dmt
5 grams weed
6 hits lsd
2 hits, red nike

i have a question for you guys, what do you think of dxm?


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
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Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #893989 - 09/19/02 06:07 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

every time i try to meditate my back starts to fucken hurt

Don't worry about that... completely normal. It's just your rod of Brahma, or sacred phallus, mutating and destroying old ways of thinking and feeling. It's a sign that your growing, and not just physically.....


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:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #893994 - 09/19/02 06:10 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

That is the worst idea that I have heard in a long time. Taking any psychotropic substance is the last thing that you need. Please call your local mental health care facility. If you don't know what to do, then call the suicide prevention hotline. They will be able to direct you.

DO NOT DO ANY MORE MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCES.

Listen to the voices of your friends here who are somewhat more balanced than you are now. No one here wants to hear of your demise, which is where you are headed without treatment.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineAdamist
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #894011 - 09/19/02 06:17 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

I havn't done DXM for about 6 months... that was the last time because it was almost a near-death experience. :smile:

But I learned alot from it.

I wouldn't take all those drugs at the same time, bro... Drug's aren't the answer, they may help you find the answer, but not when used compulsively or as an escape route. 


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:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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OfflineViBrAnT
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Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Adamist]
    #894014 - 09/19/02 06:18 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

How can i help to stop it or smooth it over, should i lay off meditation for a while or what?


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




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OfflineViBrAnT
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Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #894017 - 09/19/02 06:20 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

I appreciate your concern swami, i have never seen that side of you, cool man.


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




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OfflineAdamist
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #894066 - 09/19/02 06:37 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

Calming visualizations work, along with immersing yourself in warm water... if possible get a soft massage. Your problems with meditation probably just arise from your perception of it. Try to be in constant state of meditation, instead of viewing it as a specific thing or process. You don't have to be in a "meditative" environment to meditate. I find it best to meditate around people, it helps my tolerance and compassion.


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:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Swami]
    #894552 - 09/19/02 10:35 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

I am worried.


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #894581 - 09/19/02 10:50 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

My brother.. the darkest hour is always before dawn. Remain focused on why you are here and be confident in your success. The downfalls you experience are merely lessons; obstacles for you to overcome and learn from. Balance yourself... have you tried grounding lately? I don't think taking a bunch of drugs is the answer... It will only further confusion. Reach inside and find that light.


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OfflineCleverName
the cloudsshould know meby now...

Registered: 08/26/02
Posts: 1,121
Loc: red earth painted with mi...
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Re: Final Post [Re: Shroomism]
    #895085 - 09/20/02 07:27 AM (19 years, 7 days ago)

i agree with shroomism,
lay off the drugs, find a good hobby you enjoy, take walks, calm yourself, fall in love with yourself again, sounds to me like maybe you thinkist yourself a failure when there is no such thing as a failure, most importantly tell people who care about you what you are feeling, your parents are a good start maybe... :wink:

~1ne love, love all~ 


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: CleverName]
    #895686 - 09/20/02 12:33 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

Vibrant, I went through something very similar not too long ago. But shroomism is right. You have to go through the worst to understand and achieve the best. Once you get through this (and trust me you will.) things will be so much better than they were before. Love will get you through this. And don't doubt yourself. You're on the right path, trust me. Oh and don't take so many drugs at one time.


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OfflineGrav
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Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #895931 - 09/20/02 03:11 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

You are not a failure for wanting the truth.
That sounds like pretty good intentions to me.. But in this world you're definately in store for a few mindfucks along the way.. which you're in right now.

yea, what shroomism said, things will only get better now that you are starting to accept some things.

go on long walks.
and dont worry about any other shit in your life right now. your mental health is #1 PRIORITY

dude, think about all the nasty shit goin on in the world, and you think you're a failure??? you sound like a great person, who only wants good things for everyone. it doesnt matter how you got this way, the past is done with. accept mistakes you've made and learn from them.

you are learning right now. you are figuring it out. with each day things are gonna get easier and easier as long as you want them to.

oh yea, DONT TAKE THOSE DRUGS, MOTHER NATURE WILL BE VERY UPSET!

hang in there dude


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #895961 - 09/20/02 03:31 PM (19 years, 7 days ago)

i can only add myself to the list... do not take any drugs! especially not dxm, that stuff will fuck you up really really bad...
seek help... talk to people about what you are going through... try to find a shaman or a healer, because mental health facilities will only dose you with haldol and thorazine and that stuff kills you... slowly, but it does... slow down your mind... slow down your thoughts... try to do something creative instead of dwelling on your "insanity"... paint, play an instrument if you do so... take your head away from whatever thoughts you have regarding this subject... surround yourself with the people you love and care for you... and above all, start to love yourself... don't see yourself as a failure... don't judge yourself for your past... you are not the ony you were back then, you have the choice every moment in your life to be who you want to be... god is with you...


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OfflineCalen
journeyman
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 87
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #896166 - 09/20/02 10:38 PM (19 years, 6 days ago)

10 grams mushrooms
4 capsul dmt
5 grams weed
6 hits lsd
2 hits, red nike


i have a question for you guys, what do you think of dxm?

Holy cow! chances are, you won't make back if you do this. Ya dog? ~.^ There's got to be a alternative therapist you could go to. Quit taking the drugs given to you. All they do is suppress the central nervous system's hyperactivity. Sounds like not just your brain is getting scrambled but your internal organs feeling the pressure of a major imbalance.

I quit going to docs a long time ago and went into alternative medicine. If I didn't, I would have turned into the nutcase these docs tried to prevent from happening. The irony of it all.

If you have any respect for self-preservation ,you head to www.bodytalksystem.com and check for a practioner in you area. These people utilize body biofeedback to attempt an accurate assessment of your health.

They do more than just that though.

Be Well


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Final Post [Re: Calen]
    #896224 - 09/20/02 11:12 PM (19 years, 6 days ago)

DXM is a pure chemical not found in nature, with a very short history of shamanic use. I believe it has only gained popularity due to its legality rather than its ability to expand one's horizons.

The disassociatives (DXM, ketamine nitrous oxide) appear (from limited studies) to be much more harmful physically than traditional psychedelics.

I personally stay away and would recommend serious research before embarking.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #896251 - 09/20/02 11:21 PM (19 years, 6 days ago)

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell


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:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:


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OfflineCalen
journeyman
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 87
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Swami]
    #896273 - 09/20/02 11:33 PM (19 years, 6 days ago)

That question was by vibrant. I didn't quote it properly.

Ketamine, alone, is just nasty.


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Final Post [Re: Calen]
    #896276 - 09/20/02 11:35 PM (19 years, 6 days ago)

Doesn't matter who asked, my response is the same.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
Elder
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Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 14,279
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #896355 - 09/21/02 12:08 AM (19 years, 6 days ago)

Psychological suicide is tantamount to physical suicide. You do not want more suffering, you want less suffering, unless of course you want to punish yourself. All of these choices are presumptuous. Your ego has inflated to near-bursting proportions, but you need to deflate - decompress - not explode. Your mind-body - your soul is on loan from God, and you need to take good care of it. If one of us loaned you a lap-top computer, you would probably take better care of it than you are taking care of yourself. Call your local crisis-line. Back it the day, the crisis intervention centers were THE place to go on a bummer. They still are! That's why I went in to crisis intervention counseling, so, LISTEN UP! No one here is yelling "Jump!'' to a guy on a ledge. Allow some people in real space to help you out.
-Markos


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlinemonoamine
umask 077(nonefor you)

Registered: 09/07/02
Posts: 3,095
Loc: Jacksonville,FL
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
Re: Final Post [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #896431 - 09/21/02 12:45 AM (19 years, 6 days ago)

Vibrant, I went though amphetamine psychosis once and it sounds like what you're describing.If you are having actual hullucinations when you are sober,then maybe you ought to see a mental health professional.Find a good one though if you can.They are definatley not all created equal.I'd rather be insane than fit some of the shrinks ideas of sanity I've been to.Medicines and therapy can only do so much,however.Be prepared for alot of hard work.


--------------------
People think that if you just say the word "hallucinations" it explains everything you want it to explain and eventually whatever it is you can't explain will just go away.It's just a word,it doesn't explain anything...
Douglas Adams


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OfflineViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
Re: Final Post [Re: monoamine]
    #896893 - 09/21/02 05:29 AM (19 years, 6 days ago)

adamist, it was the constant of meditation that made me snap. i remained in a state of euphoria and constant revelation, expanded creativity for about three days, the expereince began to wear off after a while, it was too much i guess, thats when my root chakra started to hurt and my anxiety started to come back. it is actually starting to recover now which makes me feel alot better.

Me and my buddy had a long talk tonight about the seemingly becoming more trivial and trivial everyday life, we are both tired of it. same old same old, we both agreed that spiritualtiy brings a sense of refreshment to warn out reality. The only joy besides spirituality comes from fucking with peoples seemingly programed minds. freedom man, we need freedom, what if you could just jump into your private ship and take off and never come back, fuckin rights i say to that.

peace>


--------------------
" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #1714521 - 07/14/03 03:53 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Goodbye sweet child.  I was right to be worried.

I wish I could have saved you.  :frown:



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Offlinegnrm23
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 08/30/99
Posts: 6,487
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
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Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #1714596 - 07/14/03 04:18 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

so sorry, man...
may your next burden not be too heavy to carry...


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care


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OfflineJackal
Well Versed In Etiquette
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Registered: 10/16/02
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #1714604 - 07/14/03 04:21 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Freedom man, we need freedom, what if you could just jump into your private ship and take off and never come back, fuckin rights I say to that.




:frown:
You got it Sunshine! Now go play! 


--------------------


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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: Final Post [Re: Jackal]
    #1715899 - 07/14/03 10:08 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

oh man this is so sad, I can't believe he's gone now  :shake: 


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
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Re: Final Post [Re: ViBrAnT]
    #1716055 - 07/14/03 10:42 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

"if you could just jump into your private ship and take off and never come back"

Looks like you did just that!

This seems like a self-fulfilled prophecy...... I wonder if he felt pure blissful liberation (FREEDOM!) or extreme terror and regret (NO ESCAPE!) right before he hit..


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


Edited by Strumpling (07/14/03 10:44 PM)


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
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Re: Final Post [Re: chodamunky]
    #1716098 - 07/14/03 10:50 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

It's so shocking when an event actually takes place.


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Strumpling]
    #1716381 - 07/14/03 11:49 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Strumpling said:
"if you could just jump into your private ship and take off and never come back"

Looks like you did just that!

This seems like a self-fulfilled prophecy...... I wonder if he felt pure blissful liberation (FREEDOM!) or extreme terror and regret (NO ESCAPE!) right before he hit..



Either way I hope his awareness (if it still exists)
is in pure blissful joy right now.


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
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Registered: 02/13/00
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Re: Final Post [Re: lucid]
    #1716651 - 07/15/03 12:39 AM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Vibrant is quite well, and might I say, quite vibrant!  :sun: 


--------------------


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OfflineGanjaManDan
Blazin' Phatties
Registered: 05/22/03
Posts: 692
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: Final Post [Re: ]
    #1725744 - 07/17/03 08:29 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

What happened to this guy?


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Offlineneutralizer
Spiritual beinghaving a Humanexperience
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 635
Loc: This Planet Earth
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
Re: Final Post [Re: GanjaManDan]
    #1725776 - 07/17/03 08:39 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)



--------------------
There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors - Morrison


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OfflineDrubuShrume
EAT ME - I'm afungi

Registered: 05/14/02
Posts: 449
Loc: Right where I need to be
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: Final Post [Re: neutralizer]
    #1726569 - 07/18/03 01:17 AM (18 years, 2 months ago)

>>> I wonder if he felt pure blissful liberation (FREEDOM!) or extreme terror and regret (NO ESCAPE!) right before he hit.. <<<


I think he felt impending freedom, but when the thoughts of who he was leaving behind he felt regret, but without terror. I'm sure he's doing just fine now as there is no point in regret now; and he knows it.

MCL


--------------------
AH HA....


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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
Re: Final Post [Re: DrubuShrume]
    #1727030 - 07/18/03 06:04 AM (18 years, 2 months ago)

I bet he was scared, because anyone enlightened would not commit suicide.


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InvisiblethePatient
Criminal Bodhisattva
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/07/02
Posts: 3,289
Loc: Indiana
Re: Final Post [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1727094 - 07/18/03 08:33 AM (18 years, 2 months ago)

are you enlightened?  :nonono: 


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T h e r e  a r e  n o  o r d i n a r y  m o m e n t s.


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: Final Post [Re: thePatient]
    #1727096 - 07/18/03 08:35 AM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Why do threads like this one get so much attention?


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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OfflineZahid
Stranger
Registered: 01/21/02
Posts: 4,779
Last seen: 16 years, 11 months
Re: Final Post [Re: Sclorch]
    #1729919 - 07/19/03 12:49 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Sclorch said:
Why do threads like this one get so much attention?




A human being has died and I have not seen one bit of compassion come from your posts. Get off that high horse of yours, and join the ranks of humility.


--------------------


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Anonymous

Re: Final Post [Re: Zahid]
    #1729961 - 07/19/03 01:33 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

In the ViBrAnT is dead thread:

Quote:

Sclorch said:

Holy shit... that just sucks man...

I remember when ViBrAnT used the screen name "chemicalBLUE"... from reading his posts, I could tell he had some issues... but what can you do?

Maybe there should be a therapy forum... invite only... toss Markos or somebody in there and do a little housecleaning...

This kind of news really saddens me.





So that isn't entirely accurate. We all have issues and need to be as gentle with each other as we can be.


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