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OfflinesTePpInGoNsToNeS
Influ(x)
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 10
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 20 years, 3 months
ViBrAnT is dead...
    #1714333 - 07/14/03 01:17 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

ViBrAnT's real name was Mike Derksen
He lived in Saskatoon, Sk Canada
He was a really good friend of mine, and many others
On Friday, June 11th he committed suicide by jumping off the train bridge behind the university... he died instantly on impact.
Rest in Peace man, wherever you are.

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1714368 - 07/14/03 01:23 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I don't know what to say. Please don't think this is meant to be cold because it isn't. Others had thought that this might be his final outcome from the posts he had made.

This is just tragic.




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InvisibletrendalM
J♠
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada Flag
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1714373 - 07/14/03 01:24 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I am very, very sorry to hear of your loss  :frown:

Rest in Peace, ViBrAnT  :heart:


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: trendal]
    #1714450 - 07/14/03 01:38 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

...............................

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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Grav]
    #1714589 - 07/14/03 02:16 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Holy shit... that just sucks man...

I remember when ViBrAnT used the screen name "chemicalBLUE"... from reading his posts, I could tell he had some issues... but what can you do?

Maybe there should be a therapy forum... invite only... toss Markos or somebody in there and do a little housecleaning...

This kind of news really saddens me.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineJackal
Well Versed In Etiquette
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 4,576
Last seen: 7 months, 2 days
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1714595 - 07/14/03 02:18 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

(cries)


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Offlinegnrm23
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 08/29/99
Posts: 6,488
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
Last seen: 4 months, 21 days
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Jackal]
    #1714612 - 07/14/03 02:23 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

11 july...
friday last weekend...
sad to hear, wished him well, so hard to do more than offer what shreds of hope & possible solutions from these thousands of miles away...
walkin' that lonesome highway, all by yourself...
condolences to his family and friends...


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care

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OfflineDogomush
Barbless Aryan

Registered: 10/05/02
Posts: 1,286
Loc: The Canadian west coast
Last seen: 18 years, 11 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: gnrm23]
    #1714681 - 07/14/03 02:41 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Wow. Good luck man. My condolences

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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Dogomush]
    #1714738 - 07/14/03 02:57 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I can't believe it :frown:
I had been waiting for his reply on his last post where
he mentioned Kundalini and how it ultimately leads to
ego-loss which inevitably causes suicide...
He was a good man, I hope, if there is an afterlife, that
he is given eternal peace and happiness to make up for
his sadness. He will be remembered deeply. 


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."

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OfflineJumpy
Jumpy
Registered: 04/09/03
Posts: 303
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: lucid]
    #1714763 - 07/14/03 03:05 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

=\

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Offlinepattern
multiplayer

Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,185
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1714772 - 07/14/03 03:08 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Are you serious????  This is terrible, we had some great conversations !!! 

:sad:

"i hope"


--------------------
man = monkey + mushroom

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Offline3DSHROOM
loon
Male

Registered: 04/19/99
Posts: 2,878
Last seen: 11 years, 18 days
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1714778 - 07/14/03 03:12 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

That's very tragic and sad to hear.. may he rest in peace.


--------------------
Your friendly neighborhood loon

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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 17 years, 7 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: pattern]
    #1714779 - 07/14/03 03:12 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

That sucks! He lived where I live.

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Offlinepattern
multiplayer

Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,185
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1714810 - 07/14/03 03:23 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

here are some of ViBes posts:

Quote:

"good post man, i agree, when i am walking home from work it appears that everything is watching me, especially the trees. God is a proton."




Quote:

"Life is intelligence, evolving, out of life the universe was created and into life will it one day recede, the bliss of eternity. "




Quote:

"I felt that revelation, your energy, it was like a flash. i am so sick of that fluffy cloud spiritual garbage, hey i'm not saying its not true but i am not percieving any of it. last night i went for a walk at about 3:00 in the morning,thewalk was not peaceful a tall but it was still spiritual. all of a sudden i was overcome with a sense of a high energy, follwing my life seemed to become very clear, not its purpose but i saw myself andeverything around me very clearly. Itseemed like physicality is mimicking something like we are machines or something. mindseemed very obvious andsimplistic andi felt close to full enlightenment, very phsycadelic. even thestreetsigns seemed to be trying to tell me something, i saw relativity very clearly,i dont know but it was fucked."
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=845465&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=3&vc=1






Quote:

"in a society where death is percieved to exsist can you blame them for their error in thinking, or love them into the light. You dont need drugs anyways, you need nothing outside of yourself, all of it, all of it is an illusion, even your own reflection in the mirror.

urge them to go within, there are no victims or villians. I may be percieved as a crazy lunatic by many of you due to my mood swings. But I know at least one person on this site knows what i am doing. Is this a beautiful construction of reality and illusion or am i a lunatic with mood swings? If it is a construction than what am i trying to accomplish here on this site?

I can assure you that the construction is over in this forum. I have seen the inner light of so many of you that i thought did not exsist by Gods design, I am deeming that theory false. No more does darkness have to exsist on this site or anywhere for that matter to experience the light. The illusions do not have to be created anymore, they are already there as thoughts of past experiences, physical pain, they are evrywhere and quite automatic. So many of us and even on this site are creating illusions without even knowing it, sorry to point the finger at you swami but its the truth. We have all been creating illusions to some degree through various points in our lives. If we are to evolve as ascended beings you must learn too see through the illusions.

Don't get me wrong here, life is not in doubt, but remaining in the illusions for your entire stay on earth is not what we came here to do.

As long as you believe yourself to be at the effect of your experience, completely enveloped in anxiety and negative karma, thinking someone is punishing you, the illusion will remain a reality. "

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/favlinker.php?Cat=&Entry=9183&F_Board=Forum11&Thread=902079&partnumber=&postmarker=





Quote:

"even though i've never had the so-called hallucination i wouldn't call that one, i see that shit every day man, i'm so used to my fucked up perceptions it seems normal to me now, I smoked weed last night, it was funny because i waited for the high to come on, well it never really did seem as how i was already high on something else, if i could tell you what i would. life story: born, verbally abused, shitty unfulfilling life, ate some shrooms a couple years ago, got high, hit a lampost at 170km/hr, didn't die, read some books on spiritual enlightenment a few months ago, got high, wait, something doesn't make sense here, how can reading a book make you high, fucked if i know, been meaning to eat some more shrooms lately, found god, found hell, found heaven again, tried to forget i exsisted, tried to forget the world, still here, why, i serve no purpose, i have become heaven and hell, can't handle it, going nuts, thought i gave a shit about myself today, realized i didn't, gonna smoke some more bud tonight, mybe i'll give a shit tomorrow, hope i do, god doesn't look to kindly on people who think like that, wish i could stop thinking like that but it's just so fucking hard sometimes, every time i feel the divine light i pray for god to take me away, but then he tells me, hey mike you can't leave yet, you have so much left to do with your life, oh shit thats probably just my ego talking, damn ego, once i thought god wanted me to be a healer, i said sure but then realized the impossible task of healing myself, so i guess the point of this all is that, exactly, there is not such a thing, we just live, die, and live again ( exsist ), but what about my weird high, that doesn't fit at all with there being no point in anything, now the question is, where do i go from here? fucked once again if i know. "
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=Forum11&Number=607179&fpart=&PHPSESSID=





And his sig:
Quote:

" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "




--------------------
man = monkey + mushroom

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Offlinepattern
multiplayer

Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,185
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1714812 - 07/14/03 03:23 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I had no idea he was in Saskatoon... :frown: 


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man = monkey + mushroom

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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Jumpy]
    #1714835 - 07/14/03 03:32 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Bye Vibrant! Sleep well old friend. :heartpump: 


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Swami]
    #1714845 - 07/14/03 03:34 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I'm sorry... :sad:

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1714879 - 07/14/03 03:44 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

He had a lot of interesting insights. If he was suffering, I respect his choice, but it is sad nonetheless. May he rest in peace.

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InvisibleBoppity604
Stranger
Registered: 10/19/01
Posts: 1,056
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: LeViTY]
    #1714884 - 07/14/03 03:44 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I'm sorry he felt that was his only option.  :frown:

And to whomever said the following:

>>it ultimately leads to ego-loss which inevitably causes suicide...

That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard.  Egoloss and altruism have no relation, direct or otherwise, to suicide.  True ego detachment develops and nutures altruistic emotions of compassion and love for all beings.  It has nothing to do with "feeling like I don't exist." 

It boggles my mind how stupid myths like this get started.

Love & Light,

Boppity

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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Boppity604]
    #1714936 - 07/14/03 04:03 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

ViBrAnT said that.
I think that gives a little indication of his internal environment.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineZahid
Stranger
Registered: 01/21/02
Posts: 4,779
Last seen: 19 years, 4 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1715032 - 07/14/03 04:24 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

This is very sad news. All of us should pray for the well being of him and his family...I am going to make special Du'a for him tonight.


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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Boppity604]
    #1715056 - 07/14/03 04:29 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Boppity604 said:
I'm sorry he felt that was his only option.  :frown:

And to whomever said the following:

>>it ultimately leads to ego-loss which inevitably causes suicide...

That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard.  Egoloss and altruism have no relation, direct or otherwise, to suicide.  True ego detachment develops and nutures altruistic emotions of compassion and love for all beings.  It has nothing to do with "feeling like I don't exist." 

It boggles my mind how stupid myths like this get started.

Love & Light,

Boppity 



Hi Boppity, Vibrant said that, I was just quoting him.
It's sad. I wish his soul is at peace now (if there is
such a thing as a soul).


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."

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OfflineZahid
Stranger
Registered: 01/21/02
Posts: 4,779
Last seen: 19 years, 4 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: lucid]
    #1715095 - 07/14/03 04:39 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Regardless of our beliefs, we have to hope for his well being. He is now being held gently in the loving arms of God.

Suicide is such a sad thing...I wish people didn't have to hurt like this, all over the world...  :frown: 


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OfflineRhizoid
carbon unit
Male

Registered: 01/22/00
Posts: 1,739
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 18 days, 12 hours
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1715264 - 07/14/03 05:19 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

May every kind thing he did and every good word he said be remembered.

I just saw that his last post here was a comment to one of mine on the same day he died. I didn't know about his troubles, but now I wish I had said something more to him on that day. :frown:
 

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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1715314 - 07/14/03 05:27 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

"...the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels."


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:heartpump: { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } } :heartpump:

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OfflineFatNug
Si-Hing

Registered: 11/21/01
Posts: 150
Loc: Everywhere at 1nce
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Adamist]
    #1715419 - 07/14/03 05:53 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

wow....just, wow.

we will all see you again friend.


--------------------
================================================So what's your peace of mind huh? A swiss watch? leasin' a Lex on credit? all the pussy and liquor a nigga can get..put together this puzzle, but my pieces won't fit.. {Ras kass}

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InvisibleinfidelGOD
illusion

Registered: 04/18/02
Posts: 3,040
Loc: there
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1715435 - 07/14/03 05:56 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

not another one :frown:
 

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Invisibletomatoes
you say tomatoe

Registered: 06/13/03
Posts: 180
Loc: and i say . . .
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1715706 - 07/14/03 07:21 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

vibrant posted once about a tumor. he said that the doctors told him he only had a month or so before he would become incoherent.

my condolence

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OfflineAislingGheal
A wave on the ocean
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 988
Loc: Northern Ohio
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: tomatoes]
    #1715835 - 07/14/03 07:52 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)


I'm very sorry to hear the news, I wish things would have been better for him.


--------------------

"I hate having to pick between the lesser of two evils. But I'm glad Obama was elected. McCain was another war monger. I'd rather deal with our country going into debt than trying to take on afghanistan...oh wait FUCK!" - Fungus_tao

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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: AislingGheal]
    #1715908 - 07/14/03 08:09 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I was probably sitting in my tent reading a book when Vibrant decided to end his physical life.

He seemed like a really really good person. If there is a good place after this body, I am sure he is going there.

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OfflineMAIA
World-BridgerKartikeya (DftS)
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 7,396
Loc: Erra - 20 Tauri - M45 Sta...
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: AislingGheal]
    #1715955 - 07/14/03 08:18 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Damn man, damn !!!

MAIA


--------------------
Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala



Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
Voltaire

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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1716014 - 07/14/03 08:33 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

What a bummer.....

could've been me a few years back.. If he only understood the AMAZING healing-power of TIME.


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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OfflineAlbino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 1,698
Loc: Construction ahead...
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Strumpling]
    #1716625 - 07/14/03 10:32 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I would hate to come off as a heartless bitch (Again)

but how do any of you know this isn't a load of bullshit? I've dealt with online situations where a certain member of the community so craves attention that he/she will talk of suicide, terminal illness, etc, and then post under a different name that he/she has died, so that others will spew masses of good comments. what proof do you have that this isn't the case? what reason do you have to believe....


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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader


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Offlinerommstein2001
Rise ye Must!
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/10/01
Posts: 3,182
Loc: South GA
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Albino_Jesus]
    #1716720 - 07/14/03 10:57 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

We don't know one way or the other, and I'm sure _3D looked to be sure it's not a puppet before he posted his condolences. I hope he likes what he has found in the next world.


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Offlinerommstein2001
Rise ye Must!
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/10/01
Posts: 3,182
Loc: South GA
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: rommstein2001]
    #1716726 - 07/14/03 10:59 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

But I don't see anything in canadian news...


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Offlinedaba
Stranger
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Registered: 12/30/02
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Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1716728 - 07/14/03 11:01 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

RIP


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!

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OfflineTekNut
********

Registered: 01/01/03
Posts: 382
Loc: TX Gulf Coast
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Albino_Jesus]
    #1716734 - 07/14/03 11:02 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I'm very sorry to hear this terrible news.  My thought and prayers are with his family and friends.  :frown:

Peace,
-TekNut- 

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OfflineAlbino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
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Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 1,698
Loc: Construction ahead...
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: rommstein2001]
    #1716738 - 07/14/03 11:02 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

he could have of course posted from a different ip, such as a friend's house or a library etc....

I just always smell a rat in situations like these


--------------------
The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader


Edited by Albino_Jesus (07/14/03 11:04 PM)

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Offlinerommstein2001
Rise ye Must!
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/10/01
Posts: 3,182
Loc: South GA
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Albino_Jesus]
    #1716775 - 07/14/03 11:13 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Please don't take our thoughts as cold though, I've dealt with fake suicides a couple times, online and off...


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OfflineHagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,028
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: rommstein2001]
    #1716984 - 07/15/03 01:00 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I didn't know him, and if he's gone, I am sorry to hear it, but the fact that both of them used the alternating capital letter then lowercase letter in their screen names, does seem suspicious.


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I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine

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Offlinerommstein2001
Rise ye Must!
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/10/01
Posts: 3,182
Loc: South GA
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: HagbardCeline]
    #1717060 - 07/15/03 01:23 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I really REALLY hope this is a hoax.


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OfflineHagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,028
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: rommstein2001]
    #1717089 - 07/15/03 01:38 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Well I just finished doing a search, and it seems the main newspaper in Saskatoon is the Saskatoon StarPhoenix. I searched it and found no reference to any suicide, nor was he mentioned in the obituaries.

Sounding less and less likely.


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I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine

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OfflineFliquid
Back from being gone.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/18/02
Posts: 6,953
Loc: omotive
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Strumpling]
    #1717112 - 07/15/03 01:52 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

What a bummer.....

could've been me a few years back.. If he only understood the AMAZING healing-power of TIME.




Been there too, when you past that period. Life is much better.
You have to have bad times, to have good times.
It helps to have like minded friends to talk to directly.
And it seems he had none. It can make you go crazy.


--------------------
:dancing: My latest music! :yesnod:

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Offlinest0nedphucker
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Fliquid]
    #1717495 - 07/15/03 05:13 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Ok ive probably messed up somewhere....
but could someone explain how if Vibrant commited suicide on 11th June, then how is he posting now?

I mean no disrespect but he has made a lot of recent posts... :confused:


--------------------
The punishment which the wise suffer, who refuse to take part in government, is to live under the government of worse men.

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OfflineEarth_Droid
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: st0nedphucker]
    #1717506 - 07/15/03 05:21 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I can't beleive he lived where I live. I almost wonder if I had got to become friends with him, I might have prevented this.

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Offlinegnrm23
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: st0nedphucker]
    #1717619 - 07/15/03 06:41 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

july 11 was friday last...
(& june 11 was a wednesday...) so i suspect that the original poster meant last weekend, just a few days ago, 11 july...


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care

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OfflineAlbino_Jesus
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: HagbardCeline]
    #1717671 - 07/15/03 07:33 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

HagbardCeline said:
Well I just finished doing a search, and it seems the main newspaper in Saskatoon is the Saskatoon StarPhoenix. I searched it and found no reference to any suicide, nor was he mentioned in the obituaries.

Sounding less and less likely.





sniffity sniff sniff...

rats and fish abound


--------------------
The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader


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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1717856 - 07/15/03 10:27 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

sTePpInGoNsToNeS said:
ViBrAnT's real name was Mike Derksen
He lived in Saskatoon, Sk Canada
He was a really good friend of mine, and many others
On Friday, June 11th he committed suicide by jumping off the train bridge behind the university... he died instantly on impact.
Rest in Peace man, wherever you are.





Anyone interested in finding out whether this is true or not could simply call the Saskatoon coroner's office and inquire about it. To debate the issue in a thread dedicated to the person is really poor form in my opinion.

While faked suicides are common on and off the Internet from my experience as a suicide crisis interventionist this case has all the earmarkings of a real one. The evidence is there for those who can see it.

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OfflinesTePpInGoNsToNeS
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1718032 - 07/15/03 11:59 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

The Star Phoenix never printed an article on his death-
His epitaph can be found in Monday July 14th's obituary

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1718049 - 07/15/03 12:05 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Thank you.

And again, may he rest in peace. I hope you and his other friends are doing ok.

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Albino_Jesus]
    #1718260 - 07/15/03 01:21 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

There you have it, Albino_Jesus.


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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OfflineEarth_Droid
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Strumpling]
    #1718297 - 07/15/03 01:29 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I just read the obituary, I truely feel sad, may he be someplace better wherever he is.

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1718304 - 07/15/03 01:31 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Could you post a link for those that wish to read it?

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: ]
    #1718311 - 07/15/03 01:34 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

good idea - I'd like to read it as well


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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Offlinedpc2424
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Strumpling]
    #1718756 - 07/15/03 03:48 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

sad sad news...a shame he felt that was the only way out. my thoughts are with his family/friends.


--------------------
"What is needed today is a fundamental reexperience of the oneness of all living things, a comprehensive reality consciousness that ever more infrequently develops spontaneously, the more the primordial flora and fauna of our mother earth must yield to a dead technological environment."

Edited by dpc2424 (07/15/03 03:49 PM)

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OfflineDrubuShrume
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: dpc2424]
    #1720067 - 07/16/03 12:38 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

THis is the only Derksen in the StarPhoenix obituaries:
-------------------------------
Sat. June 23, 2001
Derksen

Mervin Kenneth
aged 74 years
June. 21, 2001

Saskatoon, Sk
------------------------------

http://www.rootsweb.com/~sksaskat/SP/d.html

is the refernce address. http://www.rootsweb.com/~sksaskat/SP/ is the main obituary page address.


---
edit
---
It appears the obituaries on taht page are outdated. Sorry:-(
I will continue to search.


Until proven otherwise, he is gone and may his soul be forever remembered.


--------------------
AH HA....

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1720777 - 07/16/03 06:57 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I am sorry. I forgot you live in the same town and don't have a link to his obituary. My bad. Please forgive me.

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OfflineGazzBut
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: ]
    #1720978 - 07/16/03 08:50 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Hey there - havent seen you around for a while, hope ur keepin well.

PEACE


--------------------
Always Smi2le

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InvisibleZero7a1
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: pattern]
    #1721460 - 07/16/03 12:06 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

i had no idea... :shake: . rest in peace, friend


--------------------
What?

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OfflineHamurabi
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Zero7a1]
    #1721871 - 07/16/03 02:38 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

sad news for our shroomy family:-(

rest in peace friend

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Offlinejohnnyfive
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: sTePpInGoNsToNeS]
    #1723000 - 07/16/03 08:40 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Oh i see


--------------------
And the gameshow host rings the buzzer (brrnnntt) oh and now you get a face full of face!

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Offlinenubious
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: johnnyfive]
    #1726333 - 07/17/03 09:45 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Vibrant, may the wind guide your soul to that where you can find peace... Rest in Peace my friend - I hope things are ok where you are.


--------------------
No one knows the worth of innocence till he knows it is gone forever, and that money can't buy it back. Not the saint, but the sinner that repenteth, is he to whom the full length and breadth, and height and depth, of life's meaning is revealed. Good and evil loose all objective meaning and are seen as equally necessary and contrasting elements in the masterpiece that is the universe.

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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: nubious]
    #1726453 - 07/17/03 10:27 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

People who are Hell-bent on self-destruction will usually succeed at self-destruction. Lots of people here heard the not-so-veiled announcements of finality, whether attempting to leave the Shroomery, or life itself, and tried to intervene. Apparently, ViBrAnT was seeing a psychiatrist, and that individual lost a patient. His family lost a loved one. Shroomerites had the opportunity themselves to witness, helplessly, a descent into madness, and a tragic and desperate act to 'turn it all off' - permanently. For once, I will not wax metaphysical - I will just express sadness, as well as shame for not having responded sooner to this news.

To everyone who regularly visits this virtual place, I want simply to remind people that plays for attention, threats of leaving, and perhaps people's hopes that they will be genuinely asked not to leave, are 'red flags' for this kind of radical exit. So please be patient with individuals who demonstrate these behaviors because even if we were not successful in providing whatever ViBrAnT needed, there may well be lives to save by our collective kindness. Thanks for considering this.

My condolences to sTePpInGsToNeS, and to ViBrAnT's family. Peace be with you all.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Offlinegnrm23
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1727149 - 07/18/03 07:39 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

not everyone who ventures into "chapel perilous" exits unscathed, or even neccessarily exits at all...
if there is only this one lifetime to learn all that needs to be learned, and if there is some sort of judgement at the end of our life experience, may those who chose the self-ending way be granted mercy because of the pressures that overwhelmed them...
and if there is more than one turn on this wheel of life and death, may they (and we) learn enough from this time around to help us grow deeper as humans the next time around...
and if this life is all there is and ever will be... may there be final rest...
~
~


--------------------
old enough to know better
not old enough to care

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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: gnrm23]
    #1727171 - 07/18/03 07:58 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

+++Amen+++


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Offlinec_mathimatics
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: st0nedphucker]
    #1727338 - 07/18/03 10:17 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

He already opened the door. I could see it. All he had to do is wait for the crazyness of it all to settle before he found his peace and tranquility.

As he probably already knew, "death is not a way out of it."

Maybe he will be set up with a life of experiences to compensate for the events that happened this life time - although we usually attempt to set ourselves up to take off where we left off last time around.

I pray we are misinformed, he just had so much knowledge and experience to share with the world. ;( ;( ;( ;(

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Offlinest0nedphucker
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: c_mathimatics]
    #1727346 - 07/18/03 10:26 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I haven't been a member of this community for long and I never even had the chance to get to know him, but still I was shocked, although it seems strange, that a member of this community could choose that path,  it saddens me deeply. Whatever his demons were, perhaps they were too much for anyone here to change his mind or to help with. I just want to stress that there are many people here, including myself, that are willing to listen to your problems and at the very least give you a shoulder to cry on. I know, from my brief time here that there is a lot of flaming and arguments. But there is also a lot of feeling and in a way a bond between all of us, it is shame that one of our brothers felt that suicide was the only option left... Just remember we are all here to connect and inform eachother regardless of our differences. Whether it be class or race...  Peace and Love to you all

and God Speed Vibrant  :sad:


--------------------
The punishment which the wise suffer, who refuse to take part in government, is to live under the government of worse men.

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InvisibleSclorch
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: st0nedphucker]
    #1727563 - 07/18/03 12:21 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Why do threads like this one get so much attention?


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineZahid
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1727605 - 07/18/03 12:35 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

ViBrAnT was a member of the Shroomery community, and a regular in the S&P. It's one thing when a Shroomery member passes away (I believe someone did earlier this year), it's quite another when they take their own lives, all the while showing the signs over the months. I think suicide leaves a bigger impact than a natural death, or accidental death since "those things happen" and are inevitable.


--------------------

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OfflineRhizoid
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1727632 - 07/18/03 12:47 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Why do threads like this one get so much attention?




ViBrAnT communicated with us just a week ago, and now he is dead because he killed himself. Why shouldn't threads about ViBrAnT after his death get attention? Isn't it a perfectly normal human reaction? You yourself even bothered to post exactly the same question in two such threads.

Would you prefer it if we ignored death?

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InvisibleSclorch
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Rhizoid]
    #1727656 - 07/18/03 12:55 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I just asked a question.
This isn't about death, it's about drama.

Just think of the pain Vibrant caused his family and friends with his selfish act. Don't call me coldhearted... it's just that I've known several people who have done the same thing. They were selfish people in general... and in the end. Sure, it's tragic... but all this attention and talk is exactly what Vibrant wanted. Ego.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1727752 - 07/18/03 01:37 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

and what are you gaining from posting this? ego.

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Offlinepattern
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: ]
    #1727957 - 07/18/03 03:03 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

This whole forum is an outlet for ego. How many people post here with no ego? I'm guessing none since people can't type very well while in a state of egoloss.


--------------------
man = monkey + mushroom

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InvisibleSclorch
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: ]
    #1728190 - 07/18/03 04:22 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

and what are you gaining from posting this? ego.

I gain nothing. Others may gain perspective.

Actually, I think I probably lose a little, because my comments have probably irked a few of you. Though that was an expected, incidental casualty of my point.

I wouldn't have posted in this thread (my initial post was merely the 4th response) had I known how much attention it was to recieve. This thread alone (in four days) has almost eclipsed the number of views the Philosophy Links thread has recieved in the past eight months!


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineMalachi
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1728211 - 07/18/03 04:29 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

it was an incidental cause, not casualty. or causalty.


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich

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InvisibleSclorch
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Malachi]
    #1728219 - 07/18/03 04:31 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

No, casualty is the right word... I'm not here to piss anyone off... just make them think.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineMalachi
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1728233 - 07/18/03 04:37 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

oh.


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich

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Offlineenotake2
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Malachi]
    #1728611 - 07/18/03 07:08 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

If he had a brain tumor - that may very well have caused his mood swings - because they can affect emotional regulation.

Sclorch let me quote Markos

"To everyone who regularly visits this virtual place, I want simply to remind people that plays for attention, threats of leaving, and perhaps people's hopes that they will be genuinely asked not to leave, are 'red flags' for this kind of radical exit. So please be patient with individuals who demonstrate these behaviors because even if we were not successful in providing whatever ViBrAnT needed, there may well be lives to save by our collective kindness. Thanks for considering this."


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Offlinesoulflyer
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: enotake2]
    #1729191 - 07/18/03 11:53 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

My condolences to his family and friends. RIP.


--------------------
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
-Albert Einstein

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Anonymous

Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1729811 - 07/19/03 08:39 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sclorch said:
Why do threads like this one get so much attention?




That should be obvious to anyone. It should also be obvious that remarks like yours would also get attention. Much like Albino Jesus' when she doubted his death.

You wanted attention and so did she. Both questions were posited in order to seek attention, negative attention at that.

But the fact is that we all have our drama. It is called life. Perhaps you can't accept that.

The most poignant remarks were made by Markos. I agree with them.

Tragic, just tragic.

We all go through our loses and deal with them the best way we know how. I suggest a great book for this kind of thing called, "On Death and Dying".

Lastly, if you wish the last word on this you may have it. For I will not respond to you in this thread again. Thank you for your original condolences.

Peace

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OfflineMalachi
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: ]
    #1729821 - 07/19/03 09:03 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

this really makes me think about the unqualified endorsement of tripping that I usually make.... if this fellow had never come across tripping, might he not still be alive?

not to mention the repercussions this couls have for the shroomery. I know that if a family member had posted a final goodbye on an internet message board I'd be rather interested in reading it and most likely chastizing those who shared lifestyle choices with that family member.


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich

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Invisibletak_old
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Malachi]
    #1734816 - 07/21/03 12:05 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

I have been away from the forums for a while, stuck thinking to myself, i have been real happy lately with a great outlook on life and I couldnt wait to return to the S&P forums, as i got here i got news of this... Kinda killed any joy i have been having. Vibrant was a smart, intellectual man with great ideas and could relate with us all wich is why i am saddened, angry, and most of all scared. Scared of facing death when it comes, and knowing that maybe you dont know anything. I can hope, pray and have blind faith, but who knows if that is enough. I know its our loss more than his, and that he is, always was, and always will be part of us all. RIP

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OfflineLOBO
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Malachi]
    #1734894 - 07/21/03 12:39 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

this really makes me think about the unqualified endorsement of tripping that I usually make.... if this fellow had never come across tripping, might he not still be alive?





Vibrant made his choice, shrooms are not to blame, but it is wise not to endorse them.
If some one wants to experience them they should find the shrooms on there own.

We don?t know what was going on in his spirit to take that decision, for all we know like some one said he was going to die anyway (tumor) and choose to go out of this world with dignity.
We all feel a bit of sadness even thou we barley knew him because, it suddenly reminds us of our own mortally, in his final act he gave us all a gift.
Thank you and farewell brother.



--------------------

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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: tak_old]
    #1735620 - 07/21/03 04:18 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Now think this out...ViBrAnT's death is a greater loss to a bunch of computer-jockies who never met this man in reality, than to ViBrAnT himself??!!!!! This is absurd, and you are confused. The man was still ambulatory and mentally lucid. Remissions do occur. He could have stayed with the Shroomery for the most intense Trip Report we have ever seen - the report of physical death. The man needed emotional strengthening to face death. We all do, and we need to select the source of that strength. Suicide means the fear of life outweighs the fear of death. I have known a couple of people who jumped to their deaths, and I remember bits and pieces of what they said and how they were beforehand. Sorry, but this is not an optimal way to die to this life.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Malachi]
    #1735700 - 07/21/03 04:35 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

If by "tripping," you mean going crazy, getting all f**ked up, becoming a lazy, stupid psychedelic-taking bum who has come to believe that 'nothing matters' because THAT is the nihilistic lesson [s]he learned from taking psychedelics - then I suppose you'd be right.

What if, by taking psychedelics, one's eyes are opened to Ultimate Meaning, to purpose in life? What if one's Psychedelic Experience fuels an inner fire, a passion for Truth - an ardent desire to Know Reality, and one blossoms into the fullness of Human Beinghood?

I know both kinds of people. Shall we put the blame on the psychedelic, or the responsibility on the taker, to take the Sacred Substance with the intention of becoming a better human being? To go out-of-one's-mind with fear of the unknown, and decide to suicide, is not honorable from my perspective. Fear is a bad trip, and we can ask for help in order to dispell fear, even mortal terror. I don't want to see anyone go out like this. If you don't want to be kept alive with machines, then write a Living Will with an order not to resusitate. If you need to have pain-stilling drugs, then take them. Aldous Huxley's wife Laura kept injecting Aldous with LSD-25 on the day he died. She guided him by reminding him of the Clear Light, just like he wrote about in 'Island.' If we are given the possibility of a conscious and non-violent death, we must avail ourselves of it - for ourselves and for the edification of those watching us.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1735718 - 07/21/03 04:39 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

for ourselves and for the edification of those watching us.

Ditto.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineMeph
Synesthesiac

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 1,568
Loc: Qu?bec
Last seen: 19 years, 5 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1735866 - 07/21/03 05:21 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sclorch said:
Sure, it's tragic... but all this attention and talk is exactly what Vibrant wanted. Ego.




I think you mean: all this attention is exactly what Vibrant needed.

Why would he kill himself to feed his ego off other's condolences? His ego is dead.

He did not kill himself because he wanted attention. He killed himself because he lacked attention, like most suicides.

I don't think Vibrant could have cared less about what good things people would say about him after he died. He was undoubtedly in pain, and he needed a way to ease that very pain. I'm not saying death was the good and only choice, but a desperate being takes desperate measures.

Suicides aren't selfish; we all have a right to die if we want to. The people who want their close ones to stay alive at all costs so their little ego doesn't have to deal with the pain of seeing them die are.

Sclorch, judging by your posts, I can safely say that you're an intelligent person, but I think you lack understanding of Vibrant's situation. He made a choice. It's a sad end to a sad story, but I respect his decision. It's not my right, or yours, or anybody else's, to keep him alive. It's our right to help him, but not to stop him from taking his own life.

My condolences to his friends and family.


--------------------
I'm a bipedal carbon-based pseudo-random number generator.

Demonstration: 152.


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OfflineQuadrant6
Blood Red Eyes

Registered: 07/24/03
Posts: 89
Loc: Holland
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Meph]
    #1745778 - 07/24/03 07:20 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Most the people I know who get this kinda feeling out of psychedelics have always thought in this manner. This is probably what lead them to psychedelics, so its inevitable.

Sometimes the fear of life does outweigh the fear of death. Is that so wrong? Just because the majority of people are scared of death, and are absolutely hung up on thier own life, doesnt mean its right.

Vibrant knew what he had in store for himself, and was obviously satisfied with what was to come. He physically hurt no one buy himself in his venture into the whole. I am sad to see him go as he was a great person and its our loss, however that is the process of life.

If I ever came to the point where I thought death would be better than life I would die too. Call it selfish, call it the easy way out. You too will die, we all will. Some sooner than others, but that doesnt make it wrong. We are free individuals and each person should have 100% control of thier life, and be able to do whatever they want with it without criticism aslong as they dont harm another living object.

Vibrant will always be here with us all. Peace


--------------------
"Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire."
Jorge Luis Borges

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Offlineshakta
Infidel
Registered: 06/03/03
Posts: 2,633
Last seen: 19 years, 9 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Quadrant6]
    #1745829 - 07/24/03 07:34 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

You are hurting 'another living object' when you kill yourself. Namely all of your friends and family. I didn't know him, but I hope he finds what he was looking for in the next life.

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OfflinesTePpInGoNsToNeS
Influ(x)
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 10
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 20 years, 3 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: shakta]
    #1746572 - 07/25/03 12:01 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

i'm sure mike would appreciate all of this... but many of you are far from the truth, he had no tumor (read that post again but don't think of a tumor as in cancer) and he did not need anybodies shoulder to "cry on"... i'll make this simple and state it so:

he could go very far, with or without drugs- and i think (in my opinion) that he went too far, though he did not kill himself then, it was after many many times of reaching "it" "the end" (or whatever you want to label it) that he felt too detached from societel life in a physical body to ever return... this is how it seemed to me, he had an amazing mind and would be able to have understandings much further then conceptualization, and he also had the ability to have fun, which is why i am left with so many questions, it seems so fucked up to me that he'd just go and do it like that... sure we had talked about death and suicide many times but to actually have the driving force behind you to actually do it?... it was something he never had before

something had to happen, something very intense had to happen to push him to the edge... and that is what i will never know

---i'd like to remind those who need reminding that he was a very intelligent person who knew the consequences to his actions...--


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OfflineMalachi
stereotype

Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 1,294
Loc: Around Minneapolis.
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1746643 - 07/25/03 12:17 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
If by "tripping," you mean going crazy, getting all f**ked up, becoming a lazy, stupid psychedelic-taking bum who has come to believe that 'nothing matters' because THAT is the nihilistic lesson [s]he learned from taking psychedelics - then I suppose you'd be right.

What if, by taking psychedelics, one's eyes are opened to Ultimate Meaning, to purpose in life? What if one's Psychedelic Experience fuels an inner fire, a passion for Truth - an ardent desire to Know Reality, and one blossoms into the fullness of Human Beinghood?

I know both kinds of people. Shall we put the blame on the psychedelic, or the responsibility on the taker, to take the Sacred Substance with the intention of becoming a better human being? To go out-of-one's-mind with fear of the unknown, and decide to suicide, is not honorable from my perspective. Fear is a bad trip, and we can ask for help in order to dispell fear, even mortal terror. I don't want to see anyone go out like this. If you don't want to be kept alive with machines, then write a Living Will with an order not to resusitate. If you need to have pain-stilling drugs, then take them. Aldous Huxley's wife Laura kept injecting Aldous with LSD-25 on the day he died. She guided him by reminding him of the Clear Light, just like he wrote about in 'Island.' If we are given the possibility of a conscious and non-violent death, we must avail ourselves of it - for ourselves and for the edification of those watching us.




Obviously vibrant was merely experiencing. If you're not scared you don't know a damn thing about tripping.

[edit: this is a thread to be let in peace]


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich

Edited by MAIA (07/25/03 02:59 PM)

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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

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Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Malachi]
    #1746909 - 07/25/03 02:02 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

If you're not scared you don't know a damn thing about tripping.

What?!
I've only been really scared ONCE. My only bad trip... due entirely to the people around me (read: setting). Every other trip has been very UNscary.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineMalachi
stereotype

Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 1,294
Loc: Around Minneapolis.
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1747176 - 07/25/03 05:41 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

oh. I'm sorry you've been so unsuccessful. I actually get off though, so yeah, fear is always in the corner. it's not like I necessarily succumb to it.

there's a really good kesey quote about fear, but I'm too lazy to go look it up. something about a magnifying glass.


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich

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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

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Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
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Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Malachi]
    #1748320 - 07/25/03 01:27 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

oh. I'm sorry you've been so unsuccessful.
So, to you, being scared = a successful trip?

I actually get off though, so yeah, fear is always in the corner.
What do you mean by this? "Get off"?
What have I told you about posting while you're half awake?


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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OfflineAzmodeus
Seeker

Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 3,392
Loc: Lotus Land!! B.C.
Last seen: 19 years, 1 month
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Sclorch]
    #1748488 - 07/25/03 02:13 PM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Anyone who walks the spiritual path eventually knows teh extremes of both the positive and negative.


--------------------
"Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.

Lest we forget. "

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OfflineMurex
Reality Hacker

Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
Loc: Traped in a shell.
Last seen: 16 years, 5 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Grav]
    #1750003 - 07/26/03 12:58 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)


I hope he's new reality is one that he finds confort in.


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: Murex]
    #1752742 - 07/27/03 10:26 AM (20 years, 7 months ago)

Wow...

Very sad news, and yet, I can't help but admire him in some way.

My thoughts go out to his family and friends.

Peace,

RebelSteve


--------------------
Namaste.

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OfflinepermaFRY
youngstonerwithguitar
Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 24
Loc: right now i'm in TEXAS bu...
Last seen: 20 years, 2 months
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1960711 - 09/28/03 07:02 PM (20 years, 5 months ago)

VIBRANT seemed from what I've read to be experiencing the SAME things I'VE experienced from mushrooms/psychedelic drugs. My vision is staticky wavy sometimes unreal trippy wierd. On that quote that EGO loss LEADS TO SUICIDE....i wouldn't DOUBT THAT ...not that it's ALWAYS true but from what i've EXPERIENCED EGO LOSS IS A TWO WAY ROAD on the one hand you HAVE ENLIGHTENMENT, PEACE, Love for all living things...on the other hand You can FEEL A L I E N A T E D , SEPARATED from people...you may feel like your living inside a GAME or MOVIE ... things may BECOME MEANINGLESS, i've had FLASHBACKS while straight and it sometimes SCARED THE SHIT OUT of ME UNLIKE ANYTHING ELSE EVER HAS, the fear of INSANITY the fear of NEVER COMING FULLY DOWN AGAIN....the feeling that YOU HAVE SCREWED YOUR MIND UP and now have OPENED a DOOR in your MIND THAT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE OPENED and now you have to DEAL with the CONSEQUENCES. It's like you realized HEAVEN before you should have...and you are CAST OUT into MENTAL HELL. The HEAVEN BECOMES HELL, THE UNITY makes your sense of SELF disapear into ISOLATION...the feeling like your a robot and you REALIZED YOU and EVERYONE are ALL ROBOTS in an FAKE meaningless world. You see everyone living their lives and playing their PERSONALITIES and you feel like you HAVE NO IDENTITY OR PERSONALITY and when you TRY TO FIT IN you feel like YOUR PLAYING A GAME. IT's what is described in the TIBETAN BOOK OF THE DEAD the BUDDHIST book ...as THE LOWEST LEVEL OF THE REBIRTH AFTER EGO LOSS...the LEVEL OF PSYCHOSIS OR MENTAL HELL. I WITHOUT QUESTION BELIEVE THAT THIS HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH HIS SUICIDE ....REPLY....TO ME...SOON OR EMAIL
smokeloc007@hotmail.com


--------------------
i'm just peachy chilling here trying to kill time in my class at some lame ass college in texas...can't wait to go back to AZ oh well in the meantime i can jam on my guitar and whack tha toolage. peace

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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: ViBrAnT is dead... [Re: permaFRY]
    #1961977 - 09/29/03 04:55 AM (20 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, everything is meaningless, our life is exactly like a movie. And everything that we do is some sort of game.

You can either take that as a negative thing or as a positive thing. It is all outlook. Everything is meaningless, so therefore I am free to make my own meaning. Everything is a game, and games are played because they are fun.

And their wouldn't be fear, seperation, and alienation if it was true ego loss. Those things are directly related to the ego.
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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