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Shop: Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6964152 -

I've been married once before, and it was the kind in where it was a fast lifestyle, sex was crazy, everything fast, but so was the marriage. I chose to end it before it turned into an endless rolling boulder with me running from it like indiana jones.

I gave myself time and in a new relationship, and no matter how much I feel for her, there's no way I'm gonna rush into marriage. I rather be with her for a long time and see it turns out,till then marriage won't even be a question.


And before I jumped into the relationship I had to think of it as a person on the outside, rather than just with feelings. Sometimes your feelings distracts you from the truth, in which usually someone outside a relationship can see, while strong feelings sometimes blind sides, common sense in some things. I always had a thing for bad girls.... oh boy did I ever... but in the long run it's not for me, and I've realized this. With a good female now... and just take it a day at a time.


Good luck on whichever decision you make.


If still iffy on it, do pros and cons. Like a scale balancing the good and the bad. Go with whichever ways out more.


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Big Rich Grillz......

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Bigrichshrooms]
    #6964243 -

I hope you take the time to read what I’m going to write and consider it carefully.

Your wife is still in recovery from a surgery, which you believe was her fault. The fact of the matter is that she will feels like a little less of a woman coming out of it. If you ever did truly love her, wait and take care of her through this time.

Tell the other girl, you care for her, but you have to try and make this work. The timing will never be right when you’re married to another woman. If she does care for you, then there is a hope, that must be put aside thought for you to full commit to your wife for the time being.

I’ve thrown away great loves in my life; God knows the sun still rises the next day… if only just to blind you. I am telling you though, that right now residual anger and resentment to your wife, with the added absence of sexual activity and the ease of the indiscretion you contemplate are testing you as a man.

If you cheat on your wife you will be more likely to cheat on this other girl someday.

Maintain your integrity, work on your relationship, and if then there are truly differences that have no middle ground or ground you can walk to alone… do what your heart leads you.

Then let the sheets cool, and find happiness. Your commitments and your integrity as a man are at stake now, and I know temptation is never as strong as when it feels right, but you still have to do what’s really right. Not just right by your heart or head, but by your obligations, your kids, and the life you’ve made (even if it does sometimes seem a prison)

Your first post was two hours ago, maybe you haven’t slept with her yet, maybe you have. IF you haven’t, don’t and do what’s right, if you have… do not tell your wife, bare the burden on your own, and don’t make another mistake.


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"So you're saying you have 2 pounds right now"
"yeah"
"can I buy some"
"no"
"can I have some for free"
"Sure"

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Re: My secret crush [Re: lauwebud]
    #6964521 -

:thumbup:


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Re: My secret crush [Re: In(di)go]
    #6964540 -

won't this women you like/ or your soulmate w/e, won't she think bad of you if you tell her you have a wife and wanna shag?

i mean, if she says yes then this prob isn't the women for you in the first place because she is accepting the fact that you will treat her like shit like you treat your wife right now....and i say treat your wife like shit BLUNTLY....your talking about cheating on her....lusting over another women....and then divorce? WTF!

if you and your wife ain't gettin along then divorce her!

but don't do it cuss you found somethin better thats some childish shit, and maybe thats what this is all about...feeling young again...we all get the feeling.

but at some point you "loved your wife" or at least i hope thats what you said in church on your wedding night. If you love her then do something about it, if it ain't working then tell her shit gotta change to make it work, you gotta open up to her if you love her.

but anyways if you cheat on her you gotta record that shit and post it up here.


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: lauwebud]
    #6964700 -

archangel0585 said:
Your wife is still in recovery from a surgery, which you believe was her fault. The fact of the matter is that she will feels like a little less of a woman coming out of it. If you ever did truly love her, wait and take care of her through this time.


Divorce is a long way away. I still haven't been with the "other woman" yet.

Quote:
Tell the other girl, you care for her, but you have to try and make this work. The timing will never be right when you’re married to another woman. If she does care for you, then there is a hope, that must be put aside thought for you to full commit to your wife for the time being.


"The other woman" and I have had feelings for each other for a long time. Back when she was married to her first husband. I don't think waiting will be an issue.

Quote:
I’ve thrown away great loves in my life; God knows the sun still rises the next day… if only just to blind you. I am telling you though, that right now residual anger and resentment to your wife, with the added absence of sexual activity and the ease of the indiscretion you contemplate are testing you as a man.


I have been tested like this before and passed. I believe that this time Karma has sent her to me for a reason.

I have tried to make this marriage work for a long time. If my wife isn't willing to work on herself after surgery....I have to get out of the relationship for my own sanity and happiness.

Quote:
If you cheat on your wife you will be more likely to cheat on this other girl someday.


Bullshit. Pure speculation on your part.

Quote:
Maintain your integrity, work on your relationship, and if then there are truly differences that have no middle ground or ground you can walk to alone… do what your heart leads you.


Been there and done that my friend. I'm tired of being the only one who wants to work on the relationship. Our relationship has been in a rut for over 10-12 years. If she isn't willing to commit to taking care of herself after surgery. Our choices will be severely limited.

I deserve to be happy too.


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Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6964712 -

Be prepared for the outcome, it seems to me as if your already decided.

I'd be loyal to your wife to the extent she's loyal to you, for better and worse for all.... don't blindly make commitments to another without being committed. Of course that applies to both parties, and if she isn't willing, then why should you be, 17 years is a good run, perhaps its time for something new.

If the wife doesn't change, you know what to do, you've basically decided it already... do what feels natural.


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"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #6964762 -

makaveli8x8 said:
won't this women you like/ or your soulmate w/e, won't she think bad of you if you tell her you have a wife and wanna shag?


She and I were both married the first time we met. I have met her husband(s) and she has met my wife

Quote:
i mean, if she says yes then this prob isn't the women for you in the first place because she is accepting the fact that you will treat her like shit like you treat your wife right now....and i say treat your wife like shit BLUNTLY....your talking about cheating on her....lusting over another women....and then divorce?  WTF!


From the mouth of babes.

Quote:
but at some point you "loved your wife" or at least i hope thats what you said in church on your wedding night.  If you love her then do something about it, if it ain't working then tell her shit gotta change to make it work, you gotta open up to her if you love her.


Have you read anything that I have posted?

I have been trying to get the relationship to work for many years now. It takes two to work on a relationship. If she is unwilling to take care of herself after surgery. :shake:

I will end up doing what I feel is best for me in the long run.

I just have a strong feeling that this marriage I'm in now has run its course and it is time for a change. There are too many "coincidences" falling into place between me and the "other woman" right now for me to simply ignore.

Perhaps we are soul-mates who weren't ready for each other until now.

I don't know.

All I do know is......whatever happens, I will follow my heart/soul and not my head/hormones.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #6964789 -

Psychoactive1984 said:
Be prepared for the outcome, it seems to me as if your already decided.


It will be my wife's decision to take care of herself that saves the marriage.

Going 3 years with fucked up menstrual is irresponsible. If she had gotten a PAP smear done when she first started having problems then she could have easily avoided the hysterectomy.

I cant live w/someone who refuses to take care of themselves.

Quote:
I'd be loyal to your wife to the extent she's loyal to you, for better and worse for all.... don't blindly make commitments to another without being committed. Of course that applies to both parties, and if she isn't willing, then why should you be, 17 years is a good run, perhaps its time for something new.

If the wife doesn't change, you know what to do, you've basically decided it already... do what feels natural.


:bow:

:levitate:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6964809 -

Be a man, stick with your old lady, or split up with her. Don't fuck her around for a peice of ass you liked when you were 19. Karma usually doesnt reward behaviour like that.

Maybe Its just my take on things, but I was raised not to cheat in my relationships, not only because of the way it effects them, but of the way it reflect on me as a person. Ide see it as a huge sign of weakness on my part if I was with someone for one part of a relationship and with someone else for another part of it.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6964818 -

The choice is yours; it sounds like you've got your mind made up.

It's interesting that you chose the word 'crush.'


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6964828 -

Young people like me no longer have any faith in marriage because of people like you.


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Re: My secret crush [Re: CherryBom]
    #6964956 -

You obviously have very strong feelings for her. Do everything in your power (short of rape) to get together with this girl.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: CherryBom]
    #6965047 -

CherryBom said:
Young people like me no longer have any faith in marriage because of people like you.


Marriage takes a commitment from both people involved. If one person isn't committed to improving the relationship........why continue in a relationship that isn't working?

I have no plans to divorce my wife. I do have serious doubts as to weather or not the relationship can last much longer though.

I have no real plans to cheat on her (just some very serious feelings to deal with right now)

I love my wife.........but she has to love herself, in order for our relationship to improve.

It is funny that people, like you, condemn others for merely talking about an idea.

How long in your opinion should a person commit to a marriage that is no longer working.

How can I make my wife take care of herself?

I cant live with a person who flatly refuses to see a Dr when they are in dire need of one. Or who refuses to address their health issues (high blood pressure and high cholesterol).

These are SERIOUS health issues that my wife refuses to address. Won't try to loose weight or change her diet. Won't do any type of exercise......nothing to make an improvement to her health.

Do I simply sit back and watch her die a slow and painful death because she refuses to take care of herself........

........or let her go and try to find some happiness in life?

I have anxiety issues and don't need the extra stress of worrying when she is going to have a stroke.

If my wife wakes up after her hysterectomy and begins taking care of herself.......our marriage will improve......If she falls back into her old habits of not taking care of herself.......:bye:


Am I a bad person for that?

Is it wrong of me to get out of a bad relationship and try to find some happiness in life.........or is marriage a prison that one has to endure for the rest of their life?


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965058 -

that avatar was much cooler when i was sportin it


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Re: My secret crush [Re: CherryBom]
    #6965072 -

I have no faith in marriage after the fact my parents couldn't work it out, my aunt had 7 husbands, and my cousin has had 3.

I won't get married till i am 35, won't have a family till then. I will also have to know the woman for years n years n years.

Thing is we got it to good and we never are happy with what we got. it used to be about team effort, but now woman say hey fuck that I can be what ever I want to be, there is no I in team.

It's not people like him, it's just society as a whole and feminism.

or maybe not. i never went to college and studied this stuff. I just call it as i see it.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #6965075 -

WhiskeyClone said:
It's interesting that you chose the word 'crush.'


That was the best word that fits how we feel for each other now.

It is a crush.

We have both acknowledged feelings for the other person but not taken it any farther, to see if there is anything there worth pursuing.

The timing is ripe for something to happen again with us, and Im just trying to work out how I feel about the situation.

My wife and I recently went thru a short separation and I still have doubts as to weather or not it will work out with us or not.

Having my "crush" show back up at this time is very strange to me. Do I take it as a sign that things arent gonna work out with me and my wife and I should just move on.......or do I take it as a test of my commitment to the relationship?

Im very confused right now about all this and was looking for some feed back from the Shroomery.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: chemiKalz]
    #6965078 -

chemiKalz said:
that avatar was much cooler when i was sportin it


I'v had this avatar for YEARS......probably won't ever change it.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965079 -

Have you told her how you feel? Or tried to communicate about the general things that life consists of? Try to bring her back into your life.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965089 -

Since 03 if i remeber right

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6965093 -

i wish i were 100 years old so i could give advice
all i can say is slam every hole you can before u die
thats what the males were designed todo
ensure the survuval of your specis
FUCK EVERYTHING

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