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I cant get it off my mind
    #6706409 -

Well im about to tell you the most traumatic expirience of my life that taught me a lot about the evils of mankind and a lot about how the world will always be against you in some way no matter what you do.

One of my best friends had just died a few days earlier due to the choking game, and rumors started spreading. People thought that i told him about the game, and they started talking about my girlfriend. She was his neighbor which instantly made her a suspect as well.

She dressed weird back then, so prejudice automatically kicked in there. So I was at my girlfriends house and we were helping each other out with the hard time that was going on and we told each other that we didnt care what people were saying about us, because we knew the rumors werent true. We cried a lot and managed to smile somehow because of each other's help. So we ended up just laying there on her bed thinking for hours and then it was time for me to go home.

My dad picked me up and we started going home. we were half way there and we started talking about what was going on and my dad was less than sympathetic towards my situation. in fact he accused me as well. He started swearing and yelling at me and told me that my girlfriend looked like "the bride of fucking frankenstein" and that thats why people thought she was to blame for all of this.

I might have picked up a water bottle and thrown it at the windshielf at this point, but tensions were so high i forget. But i started yelling back at my dad and i tried to open to door to get out of the car. He grabbed me by the hair and started hitting me on the back of the head and neck repeatedly until i shut the door.

Then he decided we werent going to go home just yet. So we drove around and i told him "when we get home, im telling mom, and im not talking to you again in my fucking life you worthless sad excuse for a father." Then i spit on his face and he started hitting me again.

When he finally stopped I pulled out my cell phone and dialed home without hitting send and put it in my pocket and told him if we dont go home right now im going to call mom and let her know what just happened. I had my thumb on the send button and we started going home. I got home and started crying and went over to my mom. She asked what was wrong and i couldnt even talk right.

Then i went upstairs and sat on the edge of my bed to stare at the wall hoping that i would go to sleep some time soon. When my dad comes upstairs and opens the door, looks me straight in the eye and starts to cry. And this didnt help my situation at all because i love my dad and even though i hated him at the moment more than anything, i couldnt help but feel terrible. i starting balling and finally fell asleep an hour or so later.

You have to understand that was the only time ive seen my dad cry in my life. The only other time hes cried as an adult was at his dads funeral years before the incident in the car.

Im still not over this whole thing because i always think of it and i constantly have it on my mind. It doesnt get in the way of me and my dad's relationship anymore, and its like it never happened, but for some reason i cant stop thinking about it.

I just kind of had to get it off my chest because i havent really told anyone outside of my mom that it happened and i actually feel a lot better after writing this.

Its just been on my mind a lot recently and i guess i had to vent it out.

thanks guys


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Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931

Love powerfully :peace::heart::peace:

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Re: I cant get it off my mind [Re: Drewwyann]
    #6706424 -

crazy experience. but what is the choking game? it's nothing I've heard of.

crazy things happen unfortunately, but it sounds as though your getting through it. an interesting story, and the best of luck to you.


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Re: I cant get it off my mind [Re: Cloud9]
    #6706500 -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choking_game


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:craven:  Ravings of a Madman  :craven:

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Re: I cant get it off my mind [Re: Muppet]
    #6707125 -

this is what happens when they make drugs illegal...

i lost a friend to that as well. and yes, it was due to lack of drugs.


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: I cant get it off my mind [Re: kotik]
    #6707631 -

That sucks, man. Sounds like your dad over reacted. My dad has done stupid things like that to me too. He feels fear, and can't show it, so he translates it to anger and shows that instead. At least your dad was able to understand what he did, and showed you remorse when he cried. I'd take that as him trying to say sorry, and definitely feeling sorry.

You aren't alone in this type of situation.


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Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show, That the dear She might take some pleasure of my pain: Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know, Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain.

Edited by jonathanseagull (03/24/07 09:18 PM)

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Re: I cant get it off my mind [Re: jonathanseagull]
    #6707996 -

I feel for you man. It's very wrong of your father to be unsupportive of who you choose to love, and even moreso of him to blatently accuse you of something like that. The important thing in live is to live the way you want to be, and be as happy as you can doing it.

I'm really sorry that your dad felt it was necissary to physically harm you, when you did nothing at all wrong. I honestly don't think you should let that slide. I love my parents more than anything, but If they even abused me, I would deffinitly make it known that what happened had an impact on me and I wouldn't settle for it.

Probably could have done without the spitting in the face though. Words/Emotions are often many times more harmful/effective than violence or otherwise physical confrontation.

I wish you the most luck, and hope everything works out for the best!

**EDIT** I take back telling your mother..I feel that you'll come to the decision on what to do, and perhaps telling her would only create more problems. I'm sure you'll figure it out!

Edited by AKSE (03/25/07 12:35 AM)

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Re: I cant get it off my mind [Re: Cloud9]
    #6709166 -

Quote:
but what is the choking game?


lol...:rolleyes:


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"Outside of a dog a book is a man's friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read"
-Groucho Marx

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Re: I cant get it off my mind [Re: Drewwyann]
    #6711487 -

First off, I am sorry to hear about your friend and I hope you work everything out in your mind.  Best of luck to you on that.  Secondly, just out of curiosity, how old are you?  I too have been in a pretty similar situation and it sucks but you will get through it.  I am glad you feel you can come here and vent.  I think the people here at the Shroomery are a very helpful group and they will do well to help you with any problems you have.  :smile:

Secondly, about the situation with your dad:  Me and my father used to get into arguments regularly until I was about 17 years old.  One evening I was sitting at the computer and my mother said something and I told her to leave me the fuck alone(I was in an extremely bad mood).  My dad told me not to talk to her like that and smacked me in the mouth at which point I stood up and punched him.  I ended up breaking his nose in doing so and I still to this day don't feel right about it.  Since that day neither he nor I have blown up with each other.  We realized that there is nothing in this world worth jeopardizing your relationship with your family over.  While you say there is nothing wrong between you and your father you may want to just talk to him about it sometime.  I am sure your father does love you.  Sometimes it takes a conversation to get everything out. 

Best of luck.


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Those who would give up a little freedom to get a little security shall soon have neither.
-Benjamin Franklin

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