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Offlineaudi0lsd
Splitting anAtom

Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 50
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
I'm losing my mind!
    #1994567 - 10/09/03 08:11 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Over the past 4 months or so I have been experiencing difficulty in many different fields. Severe numbing pain running down the back of one or both legs, severe lower back pain/pressure, desensitization of the saddle area, and the legs and feet, bowel/urinary dysfunction, and pretty severe sexual dysfunction. I've noticed that to get into the mood now, it has to be 100% mental, if it even happens at all. My girlfriend and I have, since we met, been very sexual people, and it's kind of hindering that aspect of our life.

Recently I have found out about a disease called cauda equina syndrome, where the spine somehow pinches the bundle of nerves at the bottom of itself, and creates a whole bunch of problems, specific to the ones listed above. I went to the doctor yesterday and he checked me out, saying that he has noticed an abnormal weakness in my legs, but for the most part, the rest of my checkup was ok. My reflexes were fine, and there seemed to be no apparent lumps or differences in my abdomen, testicles, or other areas, which I suppose is a good sign, but that means that it most definately has to be a spine/nerve problem, and this has me worried.

The doctor is scheduling me for an MRI to eliminate any potential serious conditions, and I am very anxious to get through with this because I believe it's a very important procedure to continue with getting to the root of the problem.. It seems to be taking forever.. but in my own mind, I am convinced already of what I have. Whether it's correct or not is irrelevant at this point, and I have trouble sleeping, and operating in daily life. I have work coming up this weekend and the severe pain and mental stress has left me disabled to the point where I don't know if I could handle going through with it, but I do need the money, so we'll see what happens.

I guess the whole point of this post is to vent my worries someplace because daily I have been breaking down and crying, wondering what will happen in the end of it all.. Will I be able to walk? Make love? Control my bowel/urinary functions on my own? These things worry me greatly, and right now they are all a reality that only time will tell if, when, and to what extent these disabilities will occur.

If anyone has any words of wisdom on this subject, it'd be greatly appreciated. I have been dealing with this entirely by myself, and it's been driving me crazy. My girlfriend will also be returning home tomorrow after a 5 day visit to her hometown, and I am going to be very comforted to see her. She always makes me feel a great deal better. But for now I feel as if I'm losing my mind..

audi0lsd


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"The plants contain something which might be called a spirit or a soul, or some consciousness. When I ingest such a plant, I have a feeling that this part of the plant uses my own consciousness to express itself through me." Entheogenic - Yage


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Anonymous #1

Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1994587 - 10/09/03 08:18 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

that sounds exactly like a pinched nerve. they'll probably have to operate, but it's totally curable.


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Offlineaudi0lsd
Splitting anAtom

Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 50
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: ]
    #1994852 - 10/09/03 09:41 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I know that half the symptoms are of a pinched nerve/herniated disc/etc, but the fact that I am noticing such a strong difference in bowel/urinary/sexual function sends up red flags. Those are symptoms of much more serious conditions, and I can't get it out of my head what exactly is going to happen.

I believe that surgery will definately be unavoidable, but I'm willing to go through with it. Hopefully my condition doesn't deteriorate over time, because then when surgery comes, my nerves will be permanently damaged and that means less of a chance of much of a recovery. These hospital people are just dicking around, they haven't even set a date for MRI, and I am planning on letting the doctor know that my condition does appear to be getting worse, and that I want something to be done ASAP.

I'm definately sueing these assholes is anything is damaged permanently because of their lack of ability to pay attention to obvious symptoms.


--------------------
"The plants contain something which might be called a spirit or a soul, or some consciousness. When I ingest such a plant, I have a feeling that this part of the plant uses my own consciousness to express itself through me." Entheogenic - Yage


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Offlinebillbraski
just some dood.

Registered: 12/16/02
Posts: 238
Loc: the woods behind your hou...
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1994891 - 10/09/03 09:50 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

hmmm that sucks dood.


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Offlineaudi0lsd
Splitting anAtom

Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 50
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: billbraski]
    #1994898 - 10/09/03 09:52 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Yea it sucks.


--------------------
"The plants contain something which might be called a spirit or a soul, or some consciousness. When I ingest such a plant, I have a feeling that this part of the plant uses my own consciousness to express itself through me." Entheogenic - Yage


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InvisibletrendalM
point of inflection
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,380
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1995254 - 10/09/03 11:10 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I was in the hospital last week and a guy beside me was just finding out he had a large tumour. His wife said he's been to the doctor several times over the past six months and was diagnosed with depression. But he never had an MRI until that morning in the hospital, when they found the tumour  :frown:

Have you ever had an MRI? I had one, they're a sinch! You just have to lay there...they might even let you sleep  :smirk:

Good luck, and keep fighting for the care!


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Offlineaudi0lsd
Splitting anAtom

Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 50
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: trendal]
    #1995456 - 10/10/03 12:05 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Never had an MRI before, but they kept asking me if I was claustrophobic. Apparently they put you in some kind of an enclosed chamber or something. I think I'll be alright with that. Never had a problem with small spaces before.

Hopefully I'll be able to push the MRI for tomorrow because I am getting worse. Thanks for the kind words, Trendal.


--------------------
"The plants contain something which might be called a spirit or a soul, or some consciousness. When I ingest such a plant, I have a feeling that this part of the plant uses my own consciousness to express itself through me." Entheogenic - Yage


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Offlinesweetanyka
shortness

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 10
Loc: Maryland
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1995505 - 10/10/03 12:19 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Can i come in with you baby? :x


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Offlineaudi0lsd
Splitting anAtom

Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 50
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: sweetanyka]
    #1995526 - 10/10/03 12:27 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Hehe.. You can come anywhere you want with me.  :loveeyes:


--------------------
"The plants contain something which might be called a spirit or a soul, or some consciousness. When I ingest such a plant, I have a feeling that this part of the plant uses my own consciousness to express itself through me." Entheogenic - Yage


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Offlinesweetanyka
shortness

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 10
Loc: Maryland
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1995539 - 10/10/03 12:30 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

:heartpump: you. 


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 12,757
Loc: South Florida
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Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1995572 - 10/10/03 12:40 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Personally, I would try chiropractic, backed up by daily Hatha Yoga. If you don't know Hatha Yoga - take some classes! The chirpractic will help to get you out of crisis, and the Yoga will be regular maintanence. I would undergo spinal surgery only if I was in intractable pain, experiencing partial paralysis of loss of uro-genital function but only AFTER I had explored physical therapies, Rolfing (which I've had done), chiropractic manipulation and Yoga. If you think these things cost too much money, then you're not thinking properly. Spinal surgery should be thought of as brain surgery is - a last resort. Try non-invasive techniques first. Of course surgeons want to cut - that's what they do. That's what they'll convince you that you need. I talked surgeons out of removing my Father's leg above the knee, and instead, running artificial arteries to his feet from the femoral artery. It's been 6 years now, and I saved his leg. That amputation would've killed him off. Now when I had malignant melanoma, I f**king RAN to the surgeon - no question. It's also been 6 years and I'm OK. But you really should attempt physical manipulations first IMHO.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlinemoana123
member
Registered: 10/04/03
Posts: 105
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1995606 - 10/10/03 12:56 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

i would have to agree with markosthegnodtic...his views and advice might be a good path to follow..but anyways...audioLSD i hope you get better soon...no one should have to go threw that pain...and good luck with all the procedures..and i cross my fingers that everything goes the way you want it
(its nice to see your wife supports you so much thats fucking wonderful!)
best wishes,
*marie*


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InvisibletrendalM
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Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,380
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1995627 - 10/10/03 01:03 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah. Basically you lay on a sliding bed, which then slides into a rather small (<1m diameter?) tube. This is the center of the magnetic field used to scan your tissue. They might also place an even SMALLER tube of coiled wire directly over your head.

The hardest part is you aren't supposed to move very much at all for the entire scan. Mine were 1:15 minutes long each. My head was placed in a retaining device that was ULTRA padded though, so it kind of felt like having a pillow wrapped almost around your head (so only your face is showing). That helps with not moving.

They definately were going for COMFORT in the machine. I fell asleep the first time. There's a constant whoosh-whoosh sound that comes from the liquid helium pumps. The magnetic field makes a fast click-click-click noise when it goes on or off, or just a single click. It's always very timed out though. Way too hypnotic  :smirk:

Hope that helps prepare you a little :smile:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Offlineaudi0lsd
Splitting anAtom

Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 50
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1995661 - 10/10/03 01:20 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

You guys are all great, and thanks for your replies. I see such compassion on this section of the forum and it's really inspiring.

I am not really sure on what to do as far as the surgery vs. chiropracticor goes. Something along the lines of spine/nerve trouble could be permanently disabling if left untreated. The nerves obviously have to be relieved of whatever pressure before they die out. But we'll see.

Does anyone maybe have any stories of similar ailments and their outcomes? I'd really like to read them. PM me if you want.


--------------------
"The plants contain something which might be called a spirit or a soul, or some consciousness. When I ingest such a plant, I have a feeling that this part of the plant uses my own consciousness to express itself through me." Entheogenic - Yage


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #1995737 - 10/10/03 01:47 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I had a pinched sciatic nerve due to injuries from a car accident when I was a teenager. For those of you who don't know, the sciatic nerve is the nerve from hell. heh I experienced horrible headaches and nausea, along with shooting pains down each leg. I had monthly chiropractor appointments for about a year with very simple treatments and now I doubt I experience anymore back pain than the average individual and those other symptoms are long gone. Give the chiropractor a shot first.


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OfflineBloodNOil
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Registered: 10/09/03
Posts: 1,020
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Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: adrug]
    #1998269 - 10/10/03 07:42 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

This may seem elementary, but i'd get opinions from as many
professionals as possible before comitting to one treatment.


--------------------
It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!


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Offlineorizon
shroomin bliss

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 876
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: BloodNOil]
    #1998463 - 10/10/03 09:11 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

If you get an MRI, I say for the sake of science you eat some shrooms and report back a conclusion of your findings....What do the rest of you guys think.


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #2000721 - 10/11/03 06:42 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

You'll be OK, buddy :smile: - hey you didn't mention this on AIM


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
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Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: audi0lsd]
    #2001402 - 10/12/03 01:00 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

The libido stuff can be due to being strung out. Some gastro stuff can be too but I am not sure of the nature of your prob there. I had a friend who had a pinched sciatic nerve who was very much helped by surgery. Mate, you've got to try not to think about the negative possibilities too much before you find out the extent of the problem and what treatment there is. Maybe make a list of reasons 'for' it being OK. eg. I am young and fit, other people have had the same prob and been OK, the pain is probably temporary - I'll get surgery/do yoga or whatever soon, etc. Hope you feel better soon dude.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
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Re: I'm losing my mind! [Re: enotake2]
    #2001497 - 10/12/03 01:43 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Also a good thing for coping with pain is distraction - keeping your mind on other things.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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