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Need advice
    #6524957 -

Well, I've been around this board for around 2 years now. I started browsing around the same time I did mushrooms for the first time. I've done mushrooms around 10-15 times in these past 2 years, as well as other drugs, and have changed alot. I have a completely different perspective on reality. At first it was a quite a painful shock. I had a major perspective change after taking 9 grams of mushrooms grinded into dust and mixed with orange juice. For about 2 months everything seemed different, a very uncomfortable feeling which led me to question my sanity. It's like I obtained a massive amount of information in my mind, but didn't know how to understand it. At least thats how I perceive it now. At the time I just called it "mindfuck". In between then and now I've done more tripping (not as hard so much) and I've made some progress in understanding this new view on reality, I even started to view a lot of the changes as positive, but even though sometimes I get answers to my questions that seem to be deeply true, I also get answers to my questions that lead to more questions and it is very confusing. And then there are times when I remember how my mind used to be... everything was subjective and I wonder if ignorance is bliss. The more I delve into this exploration of my mind and reality the harder it is to remember the way I used to think.

I guess I should mention that only recently did I start viewing these changes in how I see things to be potentially mainly positive. It took a long time to accept this new way of thinking.

The reason I'm writing this is because now I'm stuck. I've heard so many stories of people going insane, becoming lost or severely depressed on the way to finding the truth of reality. I read about a former member of this board, ViBrAnT, who took his own life, seemingly because he "learned too much". On the other hand, I see alot of posts from experienced members here that seem very positive, wise, and intelligent.

I feel I'm at the point now where I should take action... choose a path and follow it wholeheartedly. I gave up Christianity because I see more clearly now and realized I never believed in it. I only feared going to hell. My last trip lead me indirectly to take an interest in meditation, and in turn an interest in Buddhism. The way I see it now is that psychedelic drugs can be used in moderation as a tool, along with meditation.

I would love to hear from people who are far down this path. Any regrets? I don't doubt that I will find truth by following this path, but will I find happiness?

I appreciate any advice.

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user request [Re: Alnico]
    #6524996 -

user request


Edited by solar_seven (02/04/07 07:53 PM)

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Re: Need advice [Re: SirTokesALittle]
    #6525016 -

Thanks for the encouragement.
BTW, when I said: "I would love to hear from people who are far down this path" I didn't specifically mean people who are going about it exactly the same way as I am. I mean anyone who is seeking ultimate truth... by whichever path.

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6525087 -

Have no regrets.  The past is gone and having regrets only leads to unhappiness.  Accept that it will be a long, strange trip.  There will definately be plenty more times when you will "get stuck," and times you'll become depressed.  I have epiphanies everyday, and most of the time it is a lot to handle. 

Quote:
It's like I obtained a massive amount of information in my mind, but didn't know how to understand it.


Get used to it.  I am almost always tired because my head is just swimming with so many revelations and theories and musings, etc.  That's the main regret that I have (though I am working on it).  I feel like I am in a permanent fog.

The hardest part I have is trying to cope with how life used to be.  I am "unplugged from the Matrix" now, and I find that not a whole lot of other people are.  It's hard sometimes when I see other people who haven't come out of it yet.  It reminds me of my own frightening, painful struggle to break free.  The mind doesn't seem to want to get out.  I guess there was a sort of comfort in there.....

The further down the path I get, the more difficult the trials become.  Synchronicity becomes downright uncanny.  You become more sensitive to good and bad "vibes".  Shit gets weird and it's hard to deal, but you gotta carry on! :mushroom2: :tongue2: :levitate: :tongue2: :mushroom2:


--------------------

"The choiceless truth of who you are is revealed to be permanently here permeating everything. Not a thing and not separate from anything."--Gaganji
"Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream."
"My karma ran over my dogma!"

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6525107 -

The only ultimate truth I have come to recognize is that we will all create and abide by our own individual truths. This self-constructed fabric of truths is dynamic, changing as we gain more experience in life (not necessarily through the use of psychedelics, and in fact I find it to be more often in everyday life that these "truths" dawn on me). Psychedelics do however play a positive role in my life, in refreshing my tolerance towards change and keeping my mind open to possibilities I may never have fathomed.

In light of my psychedelic experiences, I recognize that my truths are not definite and absolute, that everything and anything I know may change at any moment. Therefore, Don't Believe Everything You Know! Along my path, I've come to accept the unrelenting chaos that is constant change, the only constant in the universe. As such, another mantra I have held near is coined, Don't worry about things beyond your control. All subjective, though all proving very valuable to me in maintaining an inner peace and flexibility in my life.

Psychedelics do not act so much as an immediate catalyst towards greater understanding in my experience, but rather as a "door stop" of sorts. Keeping myself open to all the potentials that exist before me. Not allowing myself to become complacent in the constructs my mind has created thus far. Constantly learning and open to new understandings. There is a balance to be kept always, in everything we do. Do not over-consume, take time to reflect, and live your life in moderation.

Will you find happiness? That question is only yours to answer.


--------------------

--------------------
┼ ··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙·· ┼
...╬π╥ ╥π╬...

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Re: Need advice [Re: geokills]
    #6525126 -

i think meditation can be psychedelic drugs. if you are messing with your perceived sanity then if you sit down and trip it will be a lot easier than if you take drugs to trip.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6525153 -

I've used psychedelics for over 30 years, and my contention is that 9 grams of mushrooms is an over-dosage - a dosage that exceeds usefulness and results more in an overload of extraneous neural impulses, not in a state which is conducive to the experience of the Logos: the meaning and symmetry from which existence derives.
Too much of a good thing is no longer a good thing. The same goes for any excessive intake of psychedelics. It is about the optimal enhancement of human awareness, it is not about taking large amounts of powerful chemical 'change-agents.'

Giving up Christianity only makes sense when one gives up a childish misunderstanding about Christianity. Christianity is about Christ, and Christ refers theologically to the phenomenon of a human being who is so immersed in awareness and influence of the Logos that [s]he ceases to be a human mammal and attains the status of a fully human Being in all its glory. Few individuals are recognized as being "in Christ" in the Way which I intend it, and mainstream Christianity has utterly confused the meaning of this theosis, this transformation, so that people believe that it resides only with the person of Jesus (despite Jesus' words that say that it is a relationship for everyone to have). Jesus/Y'shua/Issa/Iesus is the paradigm, the archetype of this condition, not the only recipient. Otherwise, good for Him, but what of the rest of us?

Individuals do not suicide because they "know too much." That is ridiculous. Murder - of one's own self - is anything but Knowledge (Gnosis), it is an act of tragic ignorance and the epitomy of control issues and egocentricity. Some people would call it the result of demonic influence, but regardless of one's metaphysic: evil or radical ignorance, suicide is not the result of spiritual knowledge but rather the absence of it and a very 'Hylic' (materialistic) self-identity which one believes can be killed along with consciousness. Big assumption.

I recommend that you read the book called Ecclesiastes or, The Preacher.
It is sandwiched between Proverbs and Isaiah. The Preacher is wrong about many things, for he is a cynic.

"And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith. I have seen all the works under the sun; and behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit...I communed with my own heart, saying, Lo, I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem: yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge. And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:13-18

Wrong. This is THE example of one gone awry. The Preacher concludes (in 8 pages) that:

"LET us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." Ecclesiastes 12:13.

Read "Fear God" as 'respect Ultimate Reality,' and read "commandments" in terms of 'the law written on the fleshy tables of the heart,' i.e., as Compassion. In this then, you have your Buddhist Dharma, the ineffable Sunyata - the Clear Light of Unmitigated Reality, and you have the essence of divine ethics, Buddhist and Universal - Compassion. Read 'The Preacher,' and allow this ancient person to make the mistakes for you, and allow his conclusions to become your conclusions, like allowing an older brother to have paved the way for you to follow on.

"HAPPY is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding." Proverbs 3:13

I will bear witness that the above statement is True.

-MtG


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6525634 -

I think that you are already well on your way down your path my friend.  From my point of view, the questions will never stop coming.  I'm only 25, but thus far age has not quelled my thinking mind.  I did the same thing in regards to overdosing myself on mushrooms, no regrets, i just didn't do it again :smile:

when you mean everything 'seemed different' could you explain more?  Is it a body feeling, a mental feeling, or is it both?  Is it uncomfortable and has it changed your overall personality in a drastic way?  What I'm getting at is that sometimes on psychedelics, the experience can be so intense that it could, in effect, 're-wire' your brain.  I'm no neuroscientist, so what I am suggesting here is purely based on observation from my own experiences and are only come from my point of view on how 'reality works'  If you are sent a magnificent jolt from a psychedelic, and it alters you personality and your generally feeling of 'being normal' in a negative way, then it would be time for you to reevaluate some experiences you've had and see how your mind has changed.

It seems to me that you still have some grounding point within yourself which means that I don't have a bunch of alarm bells going off saying 'YOU NEED HELP!!!!' :laugh:

All joking aside, I would suggest to keep away from psyches for a little bit so that your mind will be able to find it's niche properly.  Scrambling the brain can be awesome, but I think that doing it too often doesn't allow you to have a solid infrastructure.  Of course that's just me...

As far as truth about reality, doesn't that statement seem suspicious to you? Truth is just a concept in the mind is it not? I'm willing to bet that you can find it everywhere or nowhere at all! 

Finding happiness?  it's in your head mate!! Happiness doesn't exist as a being outside of you.  It's just an idea! You made it up!  And since that's the case, you can then rewire you brain to live, not just think..but live, a happy life.  That's where a focused session on psychedelics can really kick ass! 

That's my opinion anyway :wink:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.

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sustainability [Re: kaiowas]
    #6525655 -

Sustainability is the key.

The new liberal leader in canada stephane dion, who I really hope knocks that religious putz off the podium quickly, has made it a sincere canadian initiative, and this is actually important for the world.

Sustainability in business, in environmental issues, health issues, education issues etc.

it has to do with managing in the midst of complexity, diversity and change.

this is key in life, and psychedelic exposes life: it peels back the layers as it were.


what we have to do is to find ways of approaching what we like in sustainable ways, or fall into unhealthy habits - but even the most unheathy (polluted) habits can be recovered from if you have interest and will apply your vitality.

the key is to find a middle way (and to keep on finding it).

with psychedelic we see more, many layers all at once, converged and miraculous process can be glimpsed and admired, inspired and enmeshed, but afterwards we are not attuned to so many layers all at once.

it can be a huge sense of loss to not see so much. learning to take this in stride and to have a sustainable perspective towards psychedelic (layered visioning includes the natural dreamstate and meditation as well) is a key part of the middle way.


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6525764 -

Since you ask for advice, I’ll take the liberty to advice you on all accounts.
Firstly, the most common mistake when spelling, seems to be the; “alot”, …
This I presume is because it sounds like something like “a parking lot”, when spelled as the norm has set it.
Which of course is; “a lot”, which to –at least- bilinguals like myself, sounds like “a ‘space to park’” Just as it could be “very much” …

Secondly, a question ALWAYS got more than one answers, and an answer always answers more than one question.
(If anyone ‘only’ disagrees with this, please post an example. BTW)

And yes, if so you intend for it (to be), … it will be!

Are you happy now, and if not, why?

I love to talk with people, and I had a really rough “awakening”, if on can call it that.
I do not consider myself anymore awakened than I consider myself to be asleep…
Nor do I compare myself to others very often.

:smile:

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Re: Need advice [Re: Gomp]
    #6525818 -

psychedelics might confuse people. like at some point it did to me. I think it takes many trips sometimes to get to the point where you embrace the knowledge/information that you are given. there's somethings I believe that we might not understand on trips but in a deeper level our minds are collecting all that info so later in life we would come to realize it and understand it even tho we didn't get it the first time. also that they will completely change who you think you were into the real it' thats inside your being. whats to be sane anyways. and I agree some people become depressed but even then its not the psychedelics its them inside and the psychedelics are just showing that off, like any other truth about our human minds. it takes some time to realize that there's good and bad in this world and that we have to learn how to balance it out to have a better understanding on how everything on this earth works. and like the other people said, if you are truly questioning psychedelics then it'll be better to set them aside and think what you really want out of them , and out of life. i don't know just some thoughts.

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Re: Need advice [Re: basdathea]
    #6526523 -

Thanks a lot for the comments to everyone that posted. I found something of value in each of them. I agree with you, MarkostheGnostic, that 9 grams is an overdose. That night I saw heaven and meaning in everything, but only briefly before I hit the climax and then I saw hell, my own hell. That happened a long time ago and I haven't repeated a dosage like that since. I think I have come to understand that experience since then, and it does not bring me any discomfort now. Unfortunately, I can't quite grasp what you said about Christianity. I may very well have misunderstood what you're saying, but it seems to me that you have extracted only a few concepts of Christianity and left out some ideas that the concept of Christ relies on. I'd love to hear more about that, though.
I should mention that I am very unfamiliar with Buddhism, especially the parts of it that exist outside meditation.

I got a lot of positive feelings from your post Kaiowas. Probably because of the smileys :wink:. What I meant by everything feeling different after that experience was, due to major ego loss on that trip, I saw everything from a drastically less subjective view. Just like neo being unplugged from the matrix. My personality didn't change significantly from that one experience, but since it was a very intense experience it has left it's mark on me.

Thanks for the correction Gomp. I kinda laughed at that. I noticed that right as I posted but never took the time to fix it. You asked if I am happy now. I just so happen to be going through the process of quitting pot after being a moderately heavy user, and that is stressful. The lack of motivation is somewhat crippling to my social life, but since I started meditation (about a week ago haha) I have been making more progress. It's probably mostly a psychosomatic thing, but any improvement is welcome. In short, I think I'm happy, but the daily pains of getting over an addiction do impede that happiness.



Edited by Alnico (02/03/07 01:37 PM)

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6526644 -

Didn't intend to confuse, but I probably compressed too much into too small a transmission.

The OT quotes were intended to dispel the erroneous idea that Knowing too much is NOT a good thing.

Christ is not merely a "concept." It is a species of awareness that interfaces the personal (soul) with the Transpersonal (Spirit). My language is that of Gnostic Christianity not the language of mainstream Christian denominations which (I believe) confuse the different orders of Reality: historical and mythic, human and Divine, literal and metaphorical, physical and metaphysical.

I would contend that 'grace' is not a matter of a personal 'bestowal' by God (like knighthood), but it is 'received' by being 'recognized' as being fully Present (the Eternal Present is The Presence of God's immanence), and the recognition is then 'Realized' - made Real in one's moment-to-moment life. In other words, as in The Gospel of Thomas: "Raise the stone and there you shall find me, cleave the wood and there am I." (Logion 30)

Christ is unmediated by any sacraments in this theology. Christ is as Present to one's immediate experience as it was to Y'shua's. It makes priests and eucharistic ministers, authority and 'Apostolic succession' rather unnecessary. It places responsibility on the experience of individuals, not on invisible influences backed by imaginary doctrines, and imbibed in the 'controlled substances' of sanctified bread and wine.  But I digress....again :blush:


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: Need advice [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #6526739 -

Interesting. I didn't realize that Gnosticism was so vastly different from mainstream Christianity. Actually, I don't even really know the first thing about Gnosticism, other than what you told me. Perhaps one day my path will lead me in that direction.

Edited by Alnico (02/03/07 02:50 PM)

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6526848 -
Log in to view attachment

i think this is necessary here.


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6527287 -

Alnico said:
Any regrets? I don't doubt that I will find truth by following this path, but will I find happiness?

I appreciate any advice.


None whatsoever. I have followed a similar path into meditation over the years. It sound like you are on a similar path, but I'm not certain that I am that far ahead of you - you sound like you are well under way.

If your experience is anything like mine, you will find happiness long before *the* truth (whatever that may actually be). I have stumbled across some small truths along the way - minor revelations if you like - which are enough. There is no rush...

Enjoy the journey, don't worry so much about the destination, eh?

Not sure what style of meditation you are into - have a look at http://www.enabling.org/ia/vipassana/Archive/G/Gunaratana/MindfulnessIPE/index.html#Contents

I have found it useful, you may or may not...

Peace.

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Re: Need advice [Re: Cymbaline]
    #6527735 -

Thats exactly the guide I'm using :grin:. I haven't been at it for very long, and I struggle a lot with it, but it has already given me some insight and patience somehow.

It's nice to see another who is happy with this path.
I think I will enjoy the journey.

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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6527781 -

after doing these things one can realize life is crazy enough, and our body and minds are a whole set of drugs we are lucky enough to have recieved. If you are having troulbes, questioning it, maybe its not for you. Listen to your body and mind.
peace


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play


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Re: Need advice [Re: Alnico]
    #6527885 -

I'll say I've experienced the same as you have. It could have been a culmination of things but yeah, that fungi, or psychidelics in general, opened me up. When you first experience what you've been missing or holding out on or whatever you havn't been able to see quite like it should be seen, which is without bias I think. Life did a total 180 on me when I had this "great realization", if you'd want to call it that, and basically all I want to do is love... Love seems to be the answer but it sure is fucking hard for a lot of people to do that.

I was raised Jewish but don't follow the religion any closer than the major holidays. If there's any religion that has drawn a lot of attention, it would be Taoism/Daoism(whichever, diff spelling), which is more of a philosophy of life rather than religion.

As for the change in this crazy world. You have to be that change and maybe get that change through to younger people(not in a fire and brimstone preacher way).

This could mean many things but, just be "natural".


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing

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Re: Need advice [Re: Cracka_X]
    #6527988 -

Whoa! I just had an epiphany while I was reading these posts. I think I just made things a lot more clear to myself. It was a bunch of ideas I've been juggling in my mind for a while, and then they all just came together into place. That meditation is good shit :laugh:
Thanks again to everyone who posted. This has been very helpful to me.

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