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InvisibleMushie_Man
Fuck Up

Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
My girl cheated with another girl..
    #5652489 - 05/20/06 07:18 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

So my girlfriend is bi-sexual which i have no problem with.

But last night we were out drinking at a bar, same bar we always hang at, all our friends hang their and we know pretty much everyone. Well she told me last night that she kissed another girl, i know who the girl is, shes a friend and also my friends g/f. This girl has a habit of getting off with other girls.

At first i was just relived it wasn't a boy, because i know what girls are like when it come to kissing each other, mostly just harmless fun, so i could deal with that. Then i found out she did it 3 times throughout the night, twice while everyone was looking (the boys thought it was hot) and another time in the toilets, i wasn't present at any of these occasions. Once i found out she did it multiple times, i was pretty fucked off (still am), then i find out she also did it in toilets (which come across to me as very intimate).

Then when i talk to her about it, she brings up her past. About how she had a real bad experience with a guy a few years back which now means she has trusts issues with all males (which i understand, i think). Then started to go about how i don't understand and shit, then later starts going on about getting a pregnancy test  :eek:

^ this all happened last night while she was real drunk and i was pretty high on amphetamines (which just adds to the mind fuck)

When i spoke to her this morning about how much she likes this girl. I could tell she does like her alot. I just don't know what to do.

I feel i cant forfil her needs and she would rather be with a another girl. When i asked her last night about how she doesn't trust males, i asked if she trusted me, and she said she didn't fully but she does love me.

I just don't know what to do, right now I'm in a mind fuck. I don't know what to think or hwo to deal with this situation. I love her to bits but i don't know how to deal with this.

Please help me figure this out..I'm in such a rut right now.

Peace,
Mushie Man :frown:


--------------------
Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #5652609 - 05/20/06 08:36 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

I can understand how you are miffed right now. But, goddamn...I would not be complaining about something like this. This is downright hot.

If my bisexual girlfriend kissed another woman, I would really like it. If my bisexual girlfriend became emotionally intimate with another woman, I would be hurt though.


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Offlinewhitegreyhat
Huge

Registered: 10/23/04
Posts: 327
Loc: Northeast USA
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #5652681 - 05/20/06 09:07 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

ugh that really sucks when you find out you got cheated on. My girlfriend, we were together for almost 2 years I found out she blew 2 guys, so I immediately dumped here and did a girl that same night in our apartment while she was at her moms house. I know thats immature, but you have to understand that was the third time she did it, and lied to my face about it even though the guys told me. Slutty girls never change, no matter how hot they are, they are no good.

And BTW like you said at least it was another girl.


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InvisibleNoetical
Flip Horrorshow

Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 9,230
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5652682 - 05/20/06 09:07 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Your avatar is cold blooded


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Offlinekotik
fuckingsuperhero
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Registered: 06/29/04
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Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Noetical]
    #5652865 - 05/20/06 10:36 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

what's there to figure out? you either get over it, or you don't.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #5652912 - 05/20/06 10:52 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

the sad fact is that women can be fickle-minded little whores. It seems to me as though you have one of those on your hands.

If you aren't comfortable with your girl, get rid of her and find one that suits you better.

obviously she doesn't love you that much if she is willing to hurt you in this way. And that 'past bad experiences' shit just sounds like an excuse for her shitty behavior to me. Obviously this chick has some issues with personal responsibility, as nearly all women do.

I think you can do better, bro. You certainly deserve to.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #5652948 - 05/20/06 11:08 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

My experience with relationships has been that the person I am involved with is an accurate mirror of where I am in my own development.

When I was more wrapped up in lying, avoiding responsibility for the consequences of my actions, pretending to be someone I am not, "persuading" others to love me, etc... I chose people to love who reflected back all the negative behaviors I was enacting.

You are not being forced to remain involved with this woman, any more than you were forced to get involved with her in the first place. Consider that you may be choosing to be with her because she is mirroring that which you cannot/will not accept in yourself. As long as you stay with her, you can focus on her "bad" behavior, and avoid confronting yourself.

Humans do not repeat actions which do not involve "rewards" of some type. When we stay involved with someone whose behavior is difficult for us to deal with, it is important to look for the "pay off."


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Veritas]
    #5652958 - 05/20/06 11:12 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

hey, nice sig! 

much better than the last one! :grin:


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OfflineSyle
Kenai Sigh
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Registered: 10/16/05
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Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5652991 - 05/20/06 11:20 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
the sad fact is that women can be fickle-minded little whores. It seems to me as though you have one of those on your hands.

If you aren't comfortable with your girl, get rid of her and find one that suits you better.

obviously she doesn't love you that much if she is willing to hurt you in this way. And that 'past bad experiences' shit just sounds like an excuse for her shitty behavior to me. Obviously this chick has some issues with personal responsibility, as nearly all women do.

I think you can do better, bro. You certainly deserve to.




What this poster said ^

And also, the argument that "it's hot" doesn't pand out here. This girl that the original poster is talking about is bi sexual. That means she could have actually have a relationship with another girl; much more serious than an average drunk girl at a bar who wants attention and smooches a random chick there. BIG difference.


--------------------
https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!


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InvisibleMushie_Man
Fuck Up

Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Syle]
    #5653301 - 05/20/06 01:08 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:


Obviously she doesn't love you that much if she is willing to hurt you in this way. This chick has some issues with personal responsibility, as nearly all women do.





Yeah, thats what I figured.

Quote:


This girl that the original poster is talking about is bi sexual. That means she could have actually have a relationship with another girl; much more serious than an average drunk girl at a bar who wants attention and smooches a random chick there. BIG difference.




That's my point, most people think i should just chill and enjoy seeing my girlfriend fondle with other girls (thats what the other girls boyfriend said, btw he is also my g/f's ex). But his the one with the average drunk girl who wants attention, I've got emotionally intimate bi-sexual.

Quote:


what's there to figure out? you either get over it, or you don't.




Very true, as today and the amphetamine comedown are wearing to an end, things seem alot clearer, but i cant just let this slip.

I'll be seeing her later tonight, might be worth bringing this up although i would prefer not to bring up shit I'd rather forget about.

Also i must add, as i mentioned above, my current g/f is the other girls b/f ex, while they were together she cheated right in-front of him with a another boy (although for some reason he didn't seem to care). This just makes me feel very insecure about the relationship and where its going to head. She goes to UNI very soon, when that happens, i dread to think what she might end up doing after a few drinks.

I could just end it now, but i do love her (i think) and we get on great. Other option is to keep it going and hope for the best, but risk being hurt in the long run. She promised this wouldn't happen again, but if it was up to her this wouldn't of happened in the first place (i think). So how i see it, if she cant even trust her self how can she expect me too.

I reckon we need some time apart.

Peace,
Mushie Man


Edited by Mushie_Man (05/20/06 01:34 PM)


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OfflineSyle
Kenai Sigh
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Registered: 10/16/05
Posts: 6,678
Loc: WA
Last seen: 10 months, 26 days
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #5653711 - 05/20/06 03:35 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mushie_Man said:
Quote:


Obviously she doesn't love you that much if she is willing to hurt you in this way. This chick has some issues with personal responsibility, as nearly all women do.





Yeah, thats what I figured.

Quote:


This girl that the original poster is talking about is bi sexual. That means she could have actually have a relationship with another girl; much more serious than an average drunk girl at a bar who wants attention and smooches a random chick there. BIG difference.




That's my point, most people think i should just chill and enjoy seeing my girlfriend fondle with other girls (thats what the other girls boyfriend said, btw he is also my g/f's ex). But his the one with the average drunk girl who wants attention, I've got emotionally intimate bi-sexual.

Quote:


what's there to figure out? you either get over it, or you don't.




Very true, as today and the amphetamine comedown are wearing to an end, things seem alot clearer, but i cant just let this slip.

I'll be seeing her later tonight, might be worth bringing this up although i would prefer not to bring up shit I'd rather forget about.

Also i must add, as i mentioned above, my current g/f is the other girls b/f ex, while they were together she cheated right in-front of him with a another boy (although for some reason he didn't seem to care). This just makes me feel very insecure about the relationship and where its going to head. She goes to UNI very soon, when that happens, i dread to think what she might end up doing after a few drinks.

I could just end it now, but i do love her (i think) and we get on great. Other option is to keep it going and hope for the best, but risk being hurt in the long run. She promised this wouldn't happen again, but if it was up to her this wouldn't of happened in the first place (i think). So how i see it, if she cant even trust her self how can she expect me too.

I reckon we need some time apart.

Peace,
Mushie Man




Just be thankful you found out now that she isn't "the one" rather than 10 years down the road or something.

What you need to do, is find some good in your situation. I see lots of potential for you to make a lot of self realization in what you seek in a partner.


--------------------
https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Registered: 02/28/06
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Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Syle]
    #5655181 - 05/21/06 01:18 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

get a good buddy of yours, real close guy friend...and in a bar late at night with your girlfriend near....land a hotone on your friend, but kinda turn your back to everyone so you don't really have to kiss.

then see how she feels about that. its weird how people think its ok for women to do this and then like wtf when guys do it....somewhere along the lines society was brainwashed into thinking its ok to do this during relationships...no i believe this is reserved only for sluts and onenight stands (no offense).

if your unwilling to do the suggestion above...then ask her how she would feel if you kissed this girl. tell her your just as attracted to her as you are. and you already know this girls boyfriend don't give a shit about his women cheating...maybe this is what they are all waiting for and you could get a nice 4some on before you end it or w/e.

p.s. if your going to end it milk the shit out that relationship before you do. have fun you only live once...may be awhile before you catch another one.


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


Edited by makaveli8x8 (05/21/06 01:21 AM)


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OfflineLegalize247
Magnifico

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 88
Loc: USA SoMeWheRe
Last seen: 17 years, 5 months
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #5657571 - 05/21/06 07:00 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Now to maybe be alittle more playful you should de both of em. :wink:


--------------------
Legalize the FUNGI-USA...I have no more to say.


Edited by Legalize247 (05/21/06 07:21 PM)


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InvisibleMushie_Man
Fuck Up

Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Legalize247]
    #5659160 - 05/22/06 03:45 AM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Legalize247 said:
Now to maybe be alittle more playful you should de both of em. :wink:




Yea, my g/f mentiond wnating a threesom with her. I was like no, i dont wnat anyone else. So kidna pissis me off that shes not fully commited to me. Plus its my friends g/f.


--------------------
Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"


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OfflineDoctorJ
Male

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #5662273 - 05/22/06 10:37 PM (17 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mushie_Man said:
Quote:

Legalize247 said:
Now to maybe be alittle more playful you should de both of em. :wink:




Yea, my g/f mentiond wnating a threesom with her. I was like no, i dont wnat anyone else. So kidna pissis me off that shes not fully commited to me. Plus its my friends g/f.




thats how a lot of women are.  You want them, and they want everything and everyone else BUT you.  Ditch that loser and find someone more worthy.  Seriously, give her the axe.  Make it really painful, too.  Tell her exactly why she sucks, then be like 'see ya'.


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InvisibleMushie_Man
Fuck Up

Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #7995416 - 02/08/08 09:28 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Mushie_Man said:
Quote:

Legalize247 said:
Now to maybe be alittle more playful you should de both of em. :wink:




Yea, my g/f mentiond wnating a threesom with her. I was like no, i dont wnat anyone else. So kidna pissis me off that shes not fully commited to me. Plus its my friends g/f.




Yea old post but i thought id update you all cause i ended up sleepin with the other girl behind my gf back, now isnt that justice? Im still with my gf, and she hasent a clue. It wasnt that long ago either.

Great shag tho.

just fort id let you know, i find it very amusing, im a dick, yea.


--------------------
Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"


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InvisibletrendalM
J♠
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Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada Flag
Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #7995680 - 02/08/08 10:22 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I had a gf once who cheated on me with another girl. I forgave her, because after all it was with another girl! Then she cheated on me with a guy...and I was really angry.

Looking back on it, the fact that she cheated once should have been an eye-opener. It should have clued me in to what she was going to do with that guy. I just didn't want to see it at the time.

Anyway, food for though.


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: trendal]
    #7997551 - 02/08/08 06:47 PM (15 years, 11 months ago)

I don't buy the idea that a lot of women aren't responsible. I reckon there are heaps that are, as there are heaps of men too (prob in equal proportions, because hey it takes two to cheat). I reckon you could find someone more responsible and committed if you wanted to. I don't reckon I would want to be with someone who wasnt into me 100% bi or not.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
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Re: My girl cheated with another girl.. [Re: enotake2]
    #7999026 - 02/09/08 02:20 AM (15 years, 11 months ago)

yeah dude I kinda had a similar experience with my girlfriend who is bi and was making out with some friend of hers at the girls bf's house. When she told me, I tried to avoid getting all jealous or withdraw from the situation and talked to her, asking if she thought that was cheating. She said no. So I said, well, I think it is cheating, and it kinda hurt me. So she said that she cared about our relationship and wouldnt do it again without me there to join in :smile:.

Another way to put it -->

The logic is this:
She is bi - that means she find sexual attraction to both males and females
You are straight (i assume) - that means that you re sexually attracted to females

If she can make out with other people that she finds sexually attractive, then so should you be able to make out with people who you find sexually attractive. Now whether you want to use that argument to go hook up with other women is up to you, but it is reasonable by the logic your girlfriend is using.

If I were you though, I would ask her look, I love you, and want to be included in the intimate parts of your life. If you want to hook up with other women, then lets do it together so that I dont end up feeling left out. It is the same respect that I would show you in those kinds of situations.


And personally dude, if shes doing this shit, and shes going off to some university soon, far from you? :lol:... why are you even asking? break up with her ass, or at least try and use the opportunity to hook up with her and a few of her friends :wink:


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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