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Chasing.
    #5248471 -

First and foremost, I want to apologize because this is probably a very basic concept for all of you. However, it is one that every time it comes to my attention, I am amazed at just how much it means.

Today, while sitting around, working, I was thinking about how my friend was moving away to Whistler, to live the life he has been waiting to live for years. He has been looking forward to it for so long.

I got to thinking.

This is a pivotal time in my life, I can go do whatever I want very soon. I have never been given that opportunity. Parents, school, whatever, have always felt like a burden on my life. But I always pushed through it with this notion in my mind of the excitement I will have when I get to leave.

Now I get to leave.

Now my friend is leaving, and he is realising all he is leaving.

Why is it that only when leaving something do we realise all that it means?

I am excited.

Everything is here. This is perfect. Doing work is perfect. It's all so wonderfully perfect. There is no need to leave. There is no need to do anything but be happy.

This to me, is powerful. It's quite the thought. But it's also a wake up call. To stop living in the future, and start living now. Not that I didn't. But there were certainly ups and downs.

If I am doing work, I am waiting for the time when my work will be finished and I can play. More and more I find that the things I am looking forward to stop satisfying me when I get to them. And then I just feel so empty. So empty. This is what I was looking forward to, and it was not good enough.

But no! It is all good enough. Why was I looking outside? It's all here. It's all now.

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Re: Chasing. [Re: michael_lifshitz]
    #5248632 -

welcome to the "real" world as the saying goes.

Change is tough, and some of hte biggest changes in anyones life is leaving the nest. Its the time when one realizes just how tough the world is, what your parents must have gone through. Also it is the time when one finds who he truly is. Who are you? up until this point most decisions concerning you are decided by others, parents family friends. FREEDOM is what you are realizing it is a beautiful thing that at the same time can be very scary. Respect your elders wasnt a commandment for nothing.

Your on your own now, "like a rolling stone"(seriously listen to this song, it speaks worlds of truth.) peace

blaze2


--------------------
"Religion without science is blind, Science without religion is lame." Albert Einstein

"peace is not maintained through force it is acheived through intelligence." Albert Einstein

"Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain Security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."
Thomas Jefferson

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." --Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Chasing. [Re: blaze2]
    #5248664 -

Indeed, I am not really troubled about the fact that I will have to be leaving.

What I am trying to say is that it makes me realise that you have to appreciate where you are right here, right here, and stop looking to the future for perfection.

But thank you for the insight, I will certainly give your words some thought.

Edited by michael_lifshitz (01/31/06 08:54 PM)

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Re: Chasing. [Re: michael_lifshitz]
    #5248812 -

I understand what you are saying about toiling for a reward and when it comes, its not as satisfying as you thought it would be. Then off again one goes after another and another and the satisfaction never gels.

I'll add a new perspective to the basic concept on where satisfaction in my life came from and Living in the future and acting in the now is a part of it. (has to do with a secret I learned about pulling in more creative energy power-live in future ideals, act in the now :yesnod:-maybe I'll post on it someday)

The first time I left Chicago for the islands, (I was 25)I didn't experience what you did. Not once did I go through any period of suddenly realizing what I was leaving that I took for granted and wanted to stay, except for leaving my only nephew at the time behind who was two.  That was it though.

People didn't "live" in the suburbs. They moved in a hurry flurry with the other rats in the race or got run over.

My time in the islands was much more satisfying and a more gratifying way of life then the one I was living in the Chicago burbs. I couldn't have had there what my soul was calling me to the islands for. I needed to break physically free from all my surroundings, patterns and ties "distraction and noise" and get far away from them in a place better conducive to creating my way, in a place where it already was the way and it was a good thing for me to physically leave a place that wasn't resonant with MY SOUL.

It was in the way of soulful living and where all of my soul searching led to finding it.

Every day in the islands  I would walk out my door and exclaim, "I LOVE MY LIFE!"  :laugh: :heart: :sun:I NEVER felt like that before living in the Chicago burbs.

Perhaps the pivotal point where dissatisfaction with life leaves off and satisfaction with life begins is when we listen to our soul and begin soulful living.

I heard the calling to the swaying palms, warm temps, relaxed pace, and ocean since as long as I could remember. I listened to others who first said, "You can't do that, you have to be rich to live in the islands". That turned out to be BS. Then there were those I listened to who said, "How can you leave your family behind? Thats so selfish". That turned out to be selfish of them, to guilt trip on me like that. Then there was the other in my life who said, "Just wait till I finish this, just wait until I do that, just let me get this much more done here first blah blah"

Enough of being the puppet on other peoples strings. I was dissatisfied with my life listening to other people. It was an empty way, not a soulful way to live. I finally left and hoped all would understand that I wasn't happy there and it wasn't the life for me.

My mom saw the difference and to this day, says she is happy I am happy, even though she misses me being closer to her.

And I have been living listening to my soul ever since, 37 now and have been pretty much been satisfied to thrilled with life. A whole new world opened up when I chased my ideal and captured it, when I listened to my soul and learned how to find resonance in life with it.

Perhaps people don't know what their ideal even is and they are chasing the ideals others have for them and thats why they end up dissatisfied with life. Perhaps they gave their soul over to another and yet live as a puppet on a string.

How can you be living your life to the full when you live a life others want you to? Thats living a part in their ideal lives for them, helping them to fulfill theirs, not one of your own preference and making.

How can you make your life count and matter until you can first make yourself count and matter?

How can you bring into your life what keeps you satisfied, when you don't even no where the empty place is? Its where your soul resides when you allow it to move in and take over.

How can you actually even a play a vital role of service to others until you  move into your own vital being, that which sustains the life force to the fullest and beyond?

Mmmm soulful island life, and soulful reggae music. Bob Marley's song "Satisfy My Soul" just started playing in my head-swweeeet it is! ya mon! Learn how to listen to and Satisfy your soul and you're set.  :rasta: :yesnod:


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Re: Chasing. [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #5253265 -

I really do enjoy your story. It really inspires me.

I think what I meant to say is that, really, you don't need to get away from anything to achieve everything. The sea and peace and quiet are not necessary, and seem like excuses.

However, I don't know if I believe this really. Because I realize that I am not perfect and I can't expect myself or anyone else to be able to better themselves in a tough environment. Sure it doesn't matter theoretically or if you are perfect. But we aren't. So I just need to accept and appreciate my desire for change and improvement.

However, I am not leaving for a year at least, and still have time to appreciate everything. I just want to make sure when I leave, and move on, that I have made the best of everything I have right here right now. And this goes for pain too, and any other event.

This is a whole different way of going about daily life, where everything is joy and nothing is pain. Because it all has something to give, no matter how bad it seems.

This is the idea. But I can't expect myself to really follow it. But I can certainly try.

"With every step towards the light, we grow brighter."
-Don't know who I'm quoting or if it I misquoted them, but something along those lines.

I think overall this is a very positive realization, although I may be making it seem negative. It's just an affirmation of everything being so perfect. Which was spawned from dissatisfaction.

I'm really starting to understand why everyone always says spiritual progress comes from great dissatisfaction and anguish.

"Perhaps the pivotal point where dissatisfaction with life leaves off and satisfaction with life begins is when we listen to our soul and begin soulful living."

I completely agree. I agree with most of your points. You inspired me. Thanks.

Edited by michael_lifshitz (02/01/06 10:11 PM)

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Re: Chasing. [Re: michael_lifshitz]
    #5253550 -

I see more of what you were saying now. Sounds like a reminder to stop and smell the roses along the way. Tis true we miss out on so much of wonder beauty and splendor that is right in front of our noses when we have the blinders on after material goals we thing will bring those things to us.

I hear ya.

excuses huh? :lol:

For me, it was a calling, a dream waiting to be fulfilled. Thats such an awesome feeling when you make long held dreams come true. There's nothing else like it, when its a dream inspired from the heart of your soul that is.

I look back and wonder what would have become of me if I never left that environment. I would've self destructed I think had I stayed because I wasn't aware of another option another choice I could make there to bring me what I found elsewhere.

Something deep inside of me from little on, knew there was another way to be and the way the people around me were living was NOT it. I didn't know what it was until I experienced it for the first time.

I became friends with people I never would've given the time of day to in Chicago. I ditched the make up and fussing with my hair because being fresh and natural was the way to be in the islands. I felt so free. People liked you only when you were real. It was so easy there just to be.  To be able to run out the door with wet hair and bare feet to go shopping? hahaha rock on!

To not have anyone ask you upon meeting them what town you live in, what car you drive, what you do for a living, who do you you know, so they could judge if you were worth knowing. Oh Man it was so refreshing to be surrounded by people who just didn't give a shit about that crap. In St. Thomas, people thought it was awesome if you at least just had a car held together with duct tape. The island car ruled and people who came down with flashy new cars were booed. Hahaha what a switch.

People stopped on the side of the road to chat with friends hanging out while traffic backed behind them. People waited for them patiently because "they knew" and did it too. No one was in a hurry to get anywhere. hahahahaha "You're on an island mon, where ya gonna go? :rasta: We be limen mon. Have some gin and coconut watah"

To be in a pub and everyone is mouthing and singing along to Marleys One Love. Damn that resonance made you fly higher then a kite. To have sunshine and 85-95 degree weather 350 days of the year was surreal.

To get together with friends to watch the sun set off the cliffs at Peterborg point and spend days off windsurfing, your working to harmonize and balance with natural forces-oh man that was soo sweet, and the snorkeling. Its so quiet and peaceful down below the surface except for the sound of the crackling shrimp. cay that put you in the middle of fucking nowhere with no sign of what year it even might be. Nothing man made in site but your boat.

I never knew such things before.

Those Chicago winters with the dead stick trees and bushes and no signs of natural life outside were soooooooo depressing.

St. Thomas was like being on another planet far removed from the world I knew.

That is until this tourista comes up to my bar, takes a seat and starts asking me where I lived there, what kind of car I drove there, and what my social life was like and it all came back. I asked him where he was from. He said, "I'm down from Chicago" No kidding :smirk:

Anyway, Yes, indeed smell the roses in your yard, stop and watch the sunset, roll down your windows and let the fresh air in, take a moment to make eye contact and smile at a stranger passing by-they won't bite, let people cut in during heavy traffic and smile and way to them to go ahead. The simple things in the present moment. I didn't know how to appreciate them until the island way slowed me down, wiped the material lens away and showed me how.

Do what ya gotta do to be you in the full! :thumbup:

:peace: :heart:


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Re: Chasing. [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #5254122 -

neat!


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Chasing. [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #5254176 -

Wow, that really does sound wonderful.

And I suppose it is indeed true that it would be much harder to be relaxed and satisfied and just feel great when everyone around you is stressed, dissatisfied and depressed.

Living around people who condone the way you know you really want to live must be a very wonderful experience. Being immersed in such a great environment does seem quite rewarding.

With my new found appreciation for these suburbs I call home right now, and a desire to make the best of it, as well as excitement for the future, I feel great.

Thank you once again, your story really does excite and inspire me.

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