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DeadPhan
Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 5,260
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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alcohol got the best of me....again!
#4575441 - 08/24/05 03:52 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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oops i did it again! sigh. well, now my longing for that 'nother beer is replaced by my longing for my one true blue love! my girl moved out on me. i guess its safe to say i drove her out. we are still together however she got an apt with some friends. seems i cant just drink a couple most of the time. old news but took me so long to accept it. once in a while i can sit down and just get a slight buzz on and be a pleasant person to be around, but more often than not ull find me nodding out in a corner, falling in a fire, throwing up only to take a swig right after, or becoming incredibly beligerant and violent. i dont throw my violence on others mind you.....just towards myself... ie punching myself in the head, punching the wall, quite in depth thoughts of suicide.....sounds like fun huh. ud think one would realize quick. ive truly been quite blessed my whole life and alcohol seems to make me not care or realize how lucky i am and only care about shity things and how alcohol will make that go away. i would get pissed off when i was drinking alot because my girl doesnt realy drink much and i felt that we were missing out on some connection through drinking. now i just wana hold her......sober. i could care less about drunken rambles however sometimes fun they can be. i dont see much of a point in posting this here aside from the fact that i know alot of you guys have been through the like, as well as good people in general on these boards. just as well, this post should serve as a reminder of my hopeful ongoing progress or at least reminder that i do realize i need to change. cause it seems every time i hit a bottom id just as soon forget about how bad it was and how much i told myself this was no way to live. so i guess there is a point to posting about it. heh. it should be easier to remember this time bein that im waking up alone. there is so much else i want to say but cant think of anything. any feedback on peoples experiences with alcohol, having a temper, anything shitty that otherwise wasnt needed in your life that brought you to a bottom, etc would be cool. my girl vows she still loves me and wants to have a life together once i get better. its not that i dont trust her or believe her, but, being in a new house, with a bunch of people, partying, etc having fun.....im scared she might start to get caught up in her new life and realize she doesnt want to be with me. i tell her its no insult to her that i cant take her absolute word that we will still be together....its just that well, shes a young beautiful awesome person and when ur with someone every day its easy to tell yourself that thats the person but as time goes on, i dont know......i mean....whatever happens happens. i wouldnt want to force someone to love me. and i just as well deserve whatever happens for the way i was. soo here we go, the first day of the rest of my life. hopefully i dont throw it all away again.
-------------------- Big Gulps! Alright! Well, See ya later! And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!
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Boom
just a tester
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4575476 - 08/24/05 04:03 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Since I turned 21 I've become a pretty avid binge drinker...
I love getting drunk now even more than I like just getting stoned. It seems like with drinking, the night could become more of an adventure.
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Noetical
Flip Horrorshow
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 9,230
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4575493 - 08/24/05 04:09 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I was a fucking super lush and then I toned her down the last month and I have felt great about myself.
Give her a try for a month without getting crunk
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thegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: Boom]
#4575495 - 08/24/05 04:10 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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just be sure u guys dont start drinking every night, thats when u start to become an addict.
ull know when u drink for a week or w/e straight, then stop and u think "damn i wanna get drunk again" thats whne u know u need to stop
-------------------- May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't. General George S. Patton
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thegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: Noetical]
#4575499 - 08/24/05 04:11 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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ur avatar is tripping me out
-------------------- May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't. General George S. Patton
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alphanumeric
connectingthedots
Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 136
Loc: Alaska
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: thegatewaydrug]
#4575541 - 08/24/05 04:25 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I have had this same problem before. but from what it sounds like, you know what is right for you and your girl. alcohol is the devil but i still drink it all the time. just need to be responsible and it seems like you truly know this in the back or your head.
-------------------- if you get confused listen to the muscic play
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ToolTroll
tourettic
Registered: 08/02/04
Posts: 2,326
Loc: N. Cack
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4575980 - 08/24/05 06:23 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Well, at least you have come to the realization that you have a problem. And now you have a good reason to stop drinking, or atleast tone it down. I suggest cold turkey for a week or two, give you some sober time to think about it all. Good luck, man!
-------------------- "This whole idea that different is bad, that a change in consciousness is in itself harmful, is really one of the fundamental problems inherent in the drug war.” - Rick Doblin my cactus collection You vote with your dollars. Everyday. Vote responsibly.
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benrules92
Tripaddict
Registered: 11/26/04
Posts: 790
Loc: Ont-hairyohhhh
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: ToolTroll]
#4576172 - 08/24/05 07:05 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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one time i drank so much beer ( I think it was 21 beers) that i ended up passing out and puking all over myself and rolling around in it ... then after that i was sleep walking around a campsite with no clothes on and i ended up shitting all over myself hahahahaha ,,,,,I dont remember any of it but people told me about it, and i had shit on my legs in the morning .... I dont recommend drinking a whole lot, its probly one of the most dangerous drugs
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headset
Stranger
Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 874
Last seen: 18 years, 2 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: benrules92]
#4576286 - 08/24/05 07:35 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hmm, the night before my 20th birthday (saturday) i drank somewhere between 20-24 beer throughout the day and i dont really drink much. I ended up acting like an animal with a girl who wanted to fuck me. Spitting on a wendy's clerk. Threatening my old boss at Mcdonalds. Falling in the bushes. Falling hard off my skateboard, and attacking a wall at tim hortons.
never in my life have i shown disrespect in quite that way.
I used to regularily drink a 26 every friday when i was 15 and pass out in fires, or fall of small cliffs, or run into moving cars, or stop breathing, slip on ice, fall down stairs, puke all over myself...
Until my stepdad picked me up one night and repeatedly slammed my face into the dashboard and i stayed up crying all night wreacking of alcohol and then my mom yelled at me because like 65% of her family are alcoholics.
Now im 20, and i like to drink in the sun.
Ahh...
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thegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: headset]
#4576293 - 08/24/05 07:37 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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i fell into a fire when i was 12, i chugged a bottle of 13% red wine worse burn i ever had
btw im 19 and i pretty much always start drinking before sun down, that way i burn it all off before i go to bed that way no hangover thats y i (used to) drink so much
-------------------- May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't. General George S. Patton
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benrules92
Tripaddict
Registered: 11/26/04
Posts: 790
Loc: Ont-hairyohhhh
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: thegatewaydrug]
#4576299 - 08/24/05 07:38 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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I dont mind drinking in the sun .. .... but i have figured out when to stop lol
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thegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise
Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: benrules92]
#4576301 - 08/24/05 07:39 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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wuts really fun is to wake up take 4-5 shots of wiskey to start ur day off then drink hella as the day goes on to keep ur buzz goin. and do a line (of coke) when u start coming down
-------------------- May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't. General George S. Patton
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Skunk420
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4576364 - 08/24/05 08:07 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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just be yourself, dont drink too much in the future, if you do drink do it with her...and try and get back with her,, fuck I dunno I am drunk now..I have been drunk for the last 3 hours now..dont ask me
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40oz
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 30,119
Loc: Sandy Eggo. Ca.
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4576486 - 08/24/05 08:37 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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i hope you stop drinking buddy.
you lost her...
-------------------- - - - - tiny_rabid_birds said: "your avatar is dirty."
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DeadPhan
Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 5,260
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: 40oz]
#4577758 - 08/25/05 02:27 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
fortyounces2freedom said: i hope you stop drinking buddy.
you lost her...
thanks....so do I....feeling pretty good about it at this point. got through the day! now i do tomorow. and as far as having lost her? we will see about that. last we talked we both are still very much in love and want this to work out. she just doesnt feel right staying while i drink because she thinks shes enabling me to keep drinking cause, why shouldnt I? i had my girl to cuddle up next to after id get wasted and need to pass out. now i dont have that. this is my bottom. ive got too much to loose and alcohol aint worth it.....ive made my decision. and im gona be doing my damndest to show her from here on in that she is my perfect drug. birthday is saturday and we are going to a Ratdog show in CT. also gonna have a talk with her and her mom hoo is a recovered alcoholic. they as well as alot of my friends want to help me. not kick me to the curb as much as i might otherwise deserve it. not sure how your so sure but......like i said, well see.
-------------------- Big Gulps! Alright! Well, See ya later! And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!
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domite
Puppet
Registered: 04/12/03
Posts: 2,978
Loc: Who's askin'?
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4577859 - 08/25/05 03:53 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Usually "hitting bottom" is when you've already pissed away your family, friends and job, and realizing you have nothing left to lose but your life. Of course, if you are lucky it wont come to that for you.
Having a nonchalant attitude about alcoholism is really fucking stupid. Not to say you are necessarily doing that, but you might want to get involved in a program before you really hit bottom.
I've seen a man (my friend's father) who would acknowledge he would have a drinking problem, but just keep on fucking drinking. It was a pathetic spectacle, and it hurt his loved ones deeply.
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40oz
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 30,119
Loc: Sandy Eggo. Ca.
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4577881 - 08/25/05 04:38 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
DeadPhan said:
Quote:
fortyounces2freedom said: i hope you stop drinking buddy.
you lost her...
thanks....so do I....feeling pretty good about it at this point. got through the day! now i do tomorow. and as far as having lost her? we will see about that. last we talked we both are still very much in love and want this to work out. she just doesnt feel right staying while i drink because she thinks shes enabling me to keep drinking cause, why shouldnt I? i had my girl to cuddle up next to after id get wasted and need to pass out. now i dont have that. this is my bottom. ive got too much to loose and alcohol aint worth it.....ive made my decision. and im gona be doing my damndest to show her from here on in that she is my perfect drug. birthday is saturday and we are going to a Ratdog show in CT. also gonna have a talk with her and her mom hoo is a recovered alcoholic. they as well as alot of my friends want to help me. not kick me to the curb as much as i might otherwise deserve it. not sure how your so sure but......like i said, well see.
when a chick moves out, shes taking the steps to detach. how much she detachs is the question. i hope everything works out man...
have a good birthday. dont drink on your bday either, that will show alot.
-------------------- - - - - tiny_rabid_birds said: "your avatar is dirty."
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DeadPhan
Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 5,260
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: 40oz]
#4578495 - 08/25/05 11:06 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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i hear ya.....i guess all i can do is hope. and thanks brother
-------------------- Big Gulps! Alright! Well, See ya later! And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!
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Organic
Lloyd
Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 5,774
Loc: Overlook
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: DeadPhan]
#4578504 - 08/25/05 11:08 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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One of my best friends is dying from alcohol-induced pancreatitis, and he still won't stop drinking. Save yourself and your friends before its too late bro.
BTW, he's 22.
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Edited by Organic (08/25/05 11:09 AM)
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goobler
Reanimated
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
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Re: alcohol got the best of me....again! [Re: thegatewaydrug]
#4578509 - 08/25/05 11:10 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
thegatewaydrug said: just be sure u guys dont start drinking every night, thats when u start to become an addict.
ull know when u drink for a week or w/e straight, then stop and u think "damn i wanna get drunk again" thats whne u know u need to stop
huh?
I have had at least 2 pints just about every day for the last uh...uh....8-10 years?
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