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 CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
 
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet 
Last seen: 9 months, 8 days
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 Bi-curious(not anymore) 
#4402353 - 07/14/05 02:28 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I wasn't exactly sure where to post this...but i figure this may be a good place to get some ideas, advise or whatever.
Okay...so here goes.
I'm 27. Married but not with the man. I've been seperated for 3 years now. So basically i'm single. I love men. Not in the "I'll sleep with any and every man" kinda way. I mean...I'm straight. I love dick. I've never had sexual relations with women...ever. I've never really thought about it.
I've always considered myself open minded though I've never been open minded enough to consider sleeping with women.
I've known a few lesbians and my sister is quite open about her bi-sexuality.
Well...recently I've been considering having some sort of experience. A lesbian experience. I don't want to be with women as far as relationships go. I love men and always will. I feel like I've been missing out on something sexually. I'm getting older and would like to experience everything I can.
Is this selfish?
I'm posting this for several reasons.
One:
Is this wrong on my part? Should I be involving myself in something that I won't be commited to? I don't like the idea of one night stands...but if I was to be with a woman...i'd only want it for this one time only.
Two:
Is doing this better with someone you know well or should I find someone I won't see again?
Three:
I'm kinda weird about this. I'm not comfortable...but not necessarily uncomfortable with this. I've never had a women see me like a man has. I'm not sure how to go about getting close to a woman like I have a man.
I'll admit...I've watched and still occasionally watch pornos and have seen women with other women. So I know what to do...but is that how it really goes? geesh..I feel like I virgin by asking these questions. 
I know that I want this experience.
Any and all advise is appreciated.
Thank you.
~Desiree~ 
I now have the experience posted in my journal. If you are interested.
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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
Edited by Desiree (08/02/05 06:12 AM)
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 Gijith
Daisy Chain Eater
Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 2,400
Loc: New York
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Des,
I have some questions:
1) Can you even speculate as to why you suddenly have this desire?
2) Was there any kind of abuse in your childhood?
3) Do you have any kids?
4) How long has your sister been bi?
5) Are your parents still together?
And one comment:
I think if you do this, you should definitely do it with someone you won't see again. At least for your first time.
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what's with neocons and the word 'ilk'?
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goob
Sleepy
Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 197
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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 Re: Bi-curious [Re: Gijith]
#4402567 - 07/14/05 06:25 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Set & setting:
If you're not comfortable don't do it.
And I disagree with Gijith on: "I think if you do this, you should definitely do it with someone you won't see again. At least for your first time."
If you have some girlfreinds you occaisionaly hang with who you know are Bi, then mention it, talk about it. If they are really freinds they will care about you more than just sex.
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BlueOrb
prototype
Registered: 09/14/04
Posts: 217
Loc: The fourth dimension
Last seen: 16 years, 6 months
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: goob]
#4403200 - 07/14/05 11:00 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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In my experience with sexually adventurous antics, I have often found that the reality never quite lives up to the fantasy. However, I am glad that I had tried many unusual sexual experiments. I would recommend talking to others who are in a similar situation, or have previously been in a similar situation for advice. It is my belief that human sexuality should include play with same sex members, however society has almost made it a taboo subject.
Never regret not trying something, as one day it will be too late and the opportunity will pass.
Enjoy your body, for it is the finest thing you will ever possess.
This forum may be helpful to you:
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/index.php?
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"They are trying to build a prison, for you and me to live in"
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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This is a topic I've thought a lot about...I was "bi-curious" for awhile. I think it finally hit me I was bi when I started to feel aroused thinking about a naked-woman's breasts, about her body. And like you, I am a married woman. I love the cock, but I can't deny the attraction I feel towards women.
I have yet to act on these desires, although I know I will do so before I die. I am just waiting for the right person.
I have to disagree with the person who recommended that you pick a girl you will never see again. I think you'll feel more comfortable being sexual with a girl you know, and have a friendship with. Communication will be important to an enjoyable sexual experience. Especially if the other girl is new to this, you both could have a fun, carefree rumble without getting paranoid that you're doing something wrong. I just think it will be more enjoyable if you do it with someone you know and care for. (as long as an understanding is reached and boundaries are set)
For me, intimacy is a big thing, which is why I advocate the 'friend' position. I could not be intimate with some girl I pulled out of a bar into my bedroom. I do not want a relationship with a woman, but I DO want to feel close mentally/emotionally/spiritually to her before we take the plunge into the physical.
Anyway, these are just my thoughts on the matter...I'm a newbie to the world of lesbian love myself but hope I could help.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 9 months, 8 days
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 Re: Bi-curious [Re: Gijith]
#4403622 - 07/14/05 12:56 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gijith said:
Des,
I have some questions:
1) Can you even speculate as to why you suddenly have this desire?
I wouldn't say that tihs is sudden as far as yesterday. I have a few close friends here. I just recently moved here and I haven't had a chance to get too close to anyone.
There is a girl who I have become fond of. She's awesome. I liked her immediately after we met and she's become someone who I admire. She admitted to me a few months back that she was bi-sexual. I didn't think anything of it as far as sex goes. Then she started flirting with me. I've been hit on my other women before and it used to bother me...though this time it didn't.
I went along with it. The last month or so...the flirting has become more detailed. She tells me what she wants to do and that she knows I want it. I get aroused by it. I now tell her she's right. I see her as someone whom I am very comfortable with. I am attracted to her.
Quote:
2) Was there any kind of abuse in your childhood?
Exactly what would make you ask this question?
I've never in my life been sexually abused if that's what you mean.
Quote:
3) Do you have any kids?
Yes. I have two beautiful girls. Who live with me half the time.
I don't think this is relevant though.
Quote:
4) How long has your sister been bi?
I would have to guess maybe 5 years. 
She's a user here verogirl maybe she'll reply and answer that question for you.
Quote:
5) Are your parents still together?
My father died when I was very young so NO.
Quote:
And one comment:
I think if you do this, you should definitely do it with someone you won't see again. At least for your first time.
I'm taking that into consideration though I'm sure that one of my friends would be up for showing me a good time knowing that I wouldn't want them for a relationship.
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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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Gijith
Daisy Chain Eater
Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 2,400
Loc: New York
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I asked about kids only because this kind of thing can be confusing for youngins. I'm sure you have good parental skills and will do a good job easing them into this and making sure it doesn't affect them.
Most of the quesions I asked just out of curiosity.
Hmm... Alright, maybe I was wrong. I guess as long as you're sure this won't affect your friendship.
Anyway, seems like you've got good intentions and are doing this for good reasons. Good luck. Have fun. 
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what's with neocons and the word 'ilk'?
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 9 months, 8 days
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: Gijith]
#4404084 - 07/14/05 02:25 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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It's not like I'd do this in front of my kids. They will have no idea.
Thank you for your comments.
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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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daimyo
Monticello
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Desiree said:
One:
Is this wrong on my part? Should I be involving myself in something that I won't be commited to? I don't like the idea of one night stands...but if I was to be with a woman...i'd only want it for this one time only.
It is not wrong. It is something that you want, and you have every right to act on the urge.
Quote:
Desiree said:
Two:
Is doing this better with someone you know well or should I find someone I won't see again?
I'd say go with someone you know. That way you will feel more comfortable around them.
Quote:
Desiree said:
Three:
I'm kinda weird about this. I'm not comfortable...but not necessarily uncomfortable with this. I've never had a women see me like a man has. I'm not sure how to go about getting close to a woman like I have a man.
I'll admit...I've watched and still occasionally watch pornos and have seen women with other women. So I know what to do...but is that how it really goes? geesh..I feel like I virgin by asking these questions. .
I can't say how it goes for all, but the girls I know that have experimented just went at it basically. It came up in conversation, they decided to try, started kissing and went from there(sometimes thered be some time inbetween discussion and action).
I'd say that if you hook up with the girl you talked about, then you would be well off. If what she describes to you turns you on, then let her take the reins and go at it. Then once your in the groove you can act out anything you want.
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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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tomk
King of OTD
Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 4 years, 3 days
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: daimyo]
#4404431 - 07/14/05 03:40 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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If you fuck around with a friend, they could still be hurt by you not being available. If you have a girlfriend who is really bisexual or lesbian, she could take your flirting and stuff really seriously. Be careful to be upfront about the experimentation stuff, and don't lead someone on unintentionally.
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"I am eternally free"
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Nemo_Hoes
Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobo RamÃrez
Registered: 09/16/04
Posts: 39,721
Loc: Ray Ray's Mystery Garage
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Pics plz.
k thx bye
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We will also report to the NAACP and to Al Sharpton's entourage, how the Shroomery administrators allows their mods and members to be balatantly allowed the use of the 'N' word.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 9 months, 8 days
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I'm considering doing some webcam action. We'll see.
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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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daimyo
Monticello
Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Allow me to offer up my services...as your manager. The Shroomery Sex Cam, I can see it now. Better get this idea to the Website Feedback forum.
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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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mikeytwice
Wanderer
Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 195
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: daimyo]
#4407541 - 07/15/05 11:41 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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If you go through with it, make sure the girl you get busy with knows your motives, esp. if she's a full-on lesbian. Everyone likes hookups, but I've heard lesbians get pissy about curious straight girls before.
Has anyone read the recent NYTimes article on bisexuality? Spoke of research that suggested male bisexuality might not exist, while female bisexuality, even in straight girls, is common. They tested subjects by measuring their arousal whilst watching porno. These results, of course, can not necessarily be extrapolated to real life circumstances with complex social settings, but it's food for thought regardless. NYTimes has made the article unavailable (because its a few weeks old), but here's an archive:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/health...145&ei=5070
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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I don't think that's a fair test considering that many women are not as visually stimulated as the majority of men.
For instance, I have a sex drive like a lip-sticked lion, and porn does absolutely nothing for me.
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pshawny
Mycobian
Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 1,332
Loc: Shroomery
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: MOTH]
#4409528 - 07/15/05 08:57 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
EllemyshShade said:
For instance, I have a sex drive like a lip-sticked lion
 Say what?
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: pshawny]
#4409593 - 07/15/05 09:09 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Your guess is as good as mine.
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verogirl
little sis
Registered: 07/16/04
Posts: 181
Loc: AZ
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: pshawny]
#4409606 - 07/15/05 09:12 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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alright here it goes...I am Desiree's sister.
I have read through all of these replies and I agree with some of it.
I am a bi-sexual. I do like woman more then men and my first sexual experience with a woman or shall i say girl..was when i was 12.
I think that if you are gonna be with a woman then make sure it is with a friend..I would suggest her to also just be curious as well..That way there are no worries on who is not doing it right.
I myself am only into lesbian woman..I know what i like and they know how to give it 
So i say just go for it..you only live once right..and who knows you might lie it...
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Have a fucking badass day.
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Grizz
Gnubobo is mypoppet!
Registered: 02/26/04
Posts: 18,609
Loc: Pulling Bobo's strings.
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: verogirl]
#4411081 - 07/16/05 08:20 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Find a bi friend - or a friend of a friend who is bi. Someone who if you feel uncomfortable with you can say stop, without recieving any nasty backlash or disgruntled frustration.
Take it slowly and do not do anything you don't feel comfortable with.
Make sure the both of you know where you stand from the start ie) this is a once of thing etc. and just go with what comes naturally.
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Prisoner#1: Hanky doesn't send PMs to retards
UncleLuke: That's not true. Hanky has sent me a total of 3 PMs.
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Krishna
कृष्ण,LOL
Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
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Re: Bi-curious [Re: Grizz]
#4411217 - 07/16/05 09:32 AM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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hmmm... well my thoughts on the matter is that all people are bi-sexual, to a greater or lesser extent. the closest i've come to sleeping with another man has been threesomes with myself, a woman, and another man. i've also made out with men on occasions - but never in a serious, sexual way - more in a "hey everybody is drunk and making out with everybody" kind of way. however, i couldn't see myself being 'together' with another man, simply because i think penises are quite grody. 
i would second most peoples suggestions - discuss it with a friend who you'd want to try being together with, and see what happens. you don't necessarily need to implant the idea 'this is a one time thing' in your mind... maybe you'll like it more than sex with a man, and if so, more power to ya!
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