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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
In love with the one I lost
    #4047679 - 04/12/05 10:22 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Alright so I dated a guy (who i actually met through the shroomery) for 3 years. it was all long distance. i was inlove. we made plans for our future and all.

well i lost it. all of it. we decided to see other people.

he found a girl who he seems really happy with. i found a guy who while is great... doesn't mean as much as steve means to me. i can't stop thinking about him. i love him. i miss him. it makes me wanna cry everytime i think about him.

he is impossibly to contact. no phone, email response, nothing. last i heard - he called me a month ago. nothing since.

my friend now lives out there about 40 min away from him. i am tempted to go out there to see her - and him. is that wrong? i want him back. i just dont know how he feels.

i wrote a very long, hand written letter to him... just waiting to send it out.

help... i can't get him off my mind. it's been 7 months since we cut things off. it kills me.


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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OfflineRandolph_Carter
НơĻ?ĢΉō

Registered: 06/14/00
Posts: 29,281
Loc: Shroomery B-list.
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Delyrium]
    #4047719 - 04/12/05 10:33 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

My advice:  Let it go.  If it was broken off mutually, then leave it.
No point in rehashing old shit, unless you're prepared to make a serious change in locals.....long distance is incredibly tough.  Always has been, always will be,....why do you think the overwhelming majority of people marry other people within 30 miles of home?

Honestly, having had situations where i was incredibly long distances away from the one i loved, i would support any action you would take to be together with that person.....but the odds are shit, and the potential for damage is incredibly high.

You'll do the right thing....and worst case, there is always solace in knowing he's happy. :heart:


--------------------
"..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street."  Gibson


Nuke baby seals for Jesus!

(This has been a +1 production.)


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Delyrium]
    #4047720 - 04/12/05 10:33 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Well, It's too bad he won't respond to your e-mails. But maybe that tells you something. He must not care much to not at least talk to you about your feelings. Maybe you don't know him as well as you think. Moving on is hard but always good in the end. :heart: :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Icelander]
    #4047775 - 04/12/05 10:47 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

well i think he just doesnt go on the computer much - not that he's ignoring me.

i just dont think i'll ever find somene like him. he treated me like gold. honestly... there's no one that is like him. we had the same morals in life. he made me feel good about myself again. he made me into a princess.

lately the only people around me or guys ive seen - im treated like shit. infact ive been sitting here for 50 minutes waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up who said he'd be here 40 min ago. so... im not respected anymore by any means. im told that im fat, ugly, and RARELY does he compliment me... half the time as a joke.

i just lost someone incredible and i want him back.


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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OfflineGus
Back in town.

Registered: 07/16/03
Posts: 1,503
Loc: Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Delyrium]
    #4047853 - 04/12/05 11:09 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

You're very beautiful.
Just dump that bastard who doesnt even know the chance he has to be with you. You deserve someone better.
And send the letter, but dont get false hopes about it.


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OfflineEarthAngel
Tripper

Registered: 01/23/05
Posts: 67
Loc: New Zealand
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Gus]
    #4048001 - 04/12/05 11:59 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I feel ya pain gyrl!!
Have faith in "if its ment to be".

Is the dude your with now really that bad, or just shit compared to what you had? Its hard to let go of a good one, but there is alot more out there, its just generationg to the universe what your after, and if your unsure of what that is exactly, then thats wat you will receive!
Send the letter i say, if you feel it may be over the top with your feelings, then write a new one, toned down a lil, just to let him no u still care and would like to keep in contact with him.
Everybody deserves to be with sumone who respects them as a human,furthermore, as a lover.
Dont settle for second best.
Have faith and love yourself. :smile:


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Offlinelilbilski4life
fear andloathing inbozeman

Registered: 03/18/05
Posts: 199
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: EarthAngel]
    #4048087 - 04/13/05 12:29 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

been there, trust me there are other fishy in the sea, and let him go. he just a guy, there are more of us out there (and better too)


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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: EarthAngel]
    #4049157 - 04/13/05 07:12 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

ya my current bf isnt horrible... but he;s nothing compared to my ex... NOTHING.

im gonna send the letter... maybe refine it a little. thanks guys - who knows - maybe he's reading this now.

i also feel that the guys in my area (NYC) suck... they are so into themselves, so closed minded, ugh it's impossible to date in the city.


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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OfflineKevin
IES
 User Gallery
Registered: 06/04/00
Posts: 676
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Delyrium]
    #4049213 - 04/13/05 07:46 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

i miss johnb too.

go find him girl.

im in pursuit of love myself right now too


--------------------
"Is it a mile walking, or a mile driving?" - dobie



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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Delyrium]
    #4049941 - 04/13/05 01:12 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)


i just dont think i'll ever find somene like him. he treated me like gold. honestly... there's no one that is like him. we had the same morals in life. he made me feel good about myself again. he made me into a princess.
---------------------------------------------------------------

No one else has the power to make you feel good about yourself, you have to do that. You are not a princess dear, you are a woman. You are romanticising this realationship it seems to me. No phone either. Looks like he's moved on. But if it's important, go, tell him everything. Then one way or another you can move on. Good Luck :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Delyrium]
    #4052618 - 04/14/05 12:37 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Relationships that start over the internet can quickly escalate to feeling like you have met your one true love. People are more open right away when they aren't face to face. You end up telling the person everything about yourself right away. It leads to a very strong bond in a very short amount of time. Ultimately, these relationships have an extremely high rate of failure. One person is going to have to leave all of their friends and family, and move cross country. In the passion of the moment it is easy to rationalize a major move like this and feel like it is your only option. When people do take it this far, they often realize that when they are actually together, their relationship isn't all that different from any other they have had. They have real arguments and real problems just like any other couple. I have been in failed online relationships myself. I felt that I was very much in love with one of the women, but it was destined to fail. A friend of mine moved 2000 miles to be with a girl he met online. He ended up moving back home two months later, and he is no longer on speaking terms with the girl. People you meet online make much better friends than lovers. I think it would be in your best interest to just let this guy go as your friend and be happy for him.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
Female User Gallery

Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet Flag
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4057678 - 04/15/05 05:33 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I met someone very special a while back. I met "the one"
I will always believe he was the one made especially for me. I have no doubt about that. The reason we didn't work, is because we live so far apart from eachother. Me here in Illinois and he's in California. I will never live there again. Illinois is to far away from his daughter. We always kept in touch...though for awhile we actually didn't speak...still never losing contact with eachother.
We knew that somewhere in our future...we would be together.

As of right now...a year later...he calls me daily. There are no plans for us to get together but we are always there for eachother.
If it's meant to be....then it'll be.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Offlinedr0mni
My Own Messiah
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 2,921
Loc: USF Tampa, Fl
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #4060797 - 04/16/05 12:17 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

long distance relationships are no good in my experiance. I'm sure being with him was great, but unless you are at least in the same town then it's just not worth the pain.

just let it go. You say that you will never find anyone like him? That is bullshit! You will find someone BETTER than him! There are so many people out there that you are guaranteed to find another lover just by sheer chance!

once you are ready to move on you will have better luck. Until then you are just keeping yourself from finding anyone.


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Delyrium]
    #4060831 - 04/16/05 12:28 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

long distance relationships are nearly always problematic. best avoided.

dump this dude who is treating you like shit.
that is why you are all obsessed with you last boyfriend.
re-bound in reverse.
sounds pretty unhealthy...

try being single.
make yourself happy instead of relying on others.


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Offlinerdnp2035
Stranger

Registered: 03/08/04
Posts: 408
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Vvellum]
    #4062695 - 04/16/05 04:48 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

If you can let it go..you'll be so much stronger because of it
.
What could be more challenging than lost love and recovering...you'll have a huge boost in confidence, maybe even Super Powers.


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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 19,144
Loc: city of angels Flag
Last seen: 4 hours, 15 minutes
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Gus]
    #4063240 - 04/16/05 08:37 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Gus said:
You're very beautiful.
Just dump that bastard who doesnt even know the chance he has to be with you. You deserve someone better.
And send the letter, but dont get false hopes about it.


Hear Hear! By all means send the letter, you wrote it for a reason and if you don't send it you may begin to ask yourself why you didn't. About the whole business of someone calling you fat and ugly, if they are saying that with a straight face and not as some playful jabbing, then I would suggest you confront them about the behavior or begin to lose contact with them. Nobody needs people around them who are constantly putting them down, it seems to be affecting you negatively and it just isn't healthy to be attached to such degredation.

Be comfortable in the present moment.
Time will take you on an interesting journey, where you go is up to you.


--------------------

--------------------
··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: geokills]
    #4063806 - 04/17/05 12:16 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Send out the letter! Don't let distance close doors on you two. What you two share sounds wonderful and I think that I can relate. For I know that in the situation you're in right now would kill me, just like it seems to be killing you.

Good vibes sent both your ways. Best of luck to the both of ya!


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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Offlinedr0mni
My Own Messiah
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 2,921
Loc: USF Tampa, Fl
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: browndustin]
    #4064005 - 04/17/05 01:15 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

NO! don't send out the letter! Don't let yourself be attached to a situation that is just going to create drama and pain. Long distances relationships DON'T WORK. Don't listen to all these other romantic wishers who wanna pretend like life is a fairy tale.

I do agree with everyone about dumping that other dude. If someone doesn't make you feel good about yourself then you shouldn't be with them.


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: dr0mni]
    #4065359 - 04/17/05 01:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

:thumbup:

exactly.

cut that shit off before it gets worse.
long distance relationships are bound to fail.
they are an illusion - it is so much easier to
get along with someone over the net or telephone
than in real person on a regular basis.

dont fool youself.


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Offlinenonoman
ambassador
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: In love with the one I lost [Re: Vvellum]
    #4068287 - 04/18/05 12:22 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

In an extension of what bi0 began, often long distance relationships=falling in love with our ideas of that person instead of the person themselves.

The best people often arrive in our lives when we stop searching so hard.

Love and best wishes.


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