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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Love Triangle Troubles
    #2235408 - 01/11/04 09:57 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I'm a very mentally stable person and don't want to bother you all with my problems because I like to think I can handle them on my own. That said, I've been thinking about this situation too much and it feels really good to write about it. I guess that's why people have online journals. Especially since I haven't had a girlfriend in years and it's pretty pathetic.

I've been hanging out with this girl named Rose off and on for almost a year. I've always felt that she really likes me. I like her too, and would consider asking her out, but I've never been completely sure about her feelings for me. At times she's been distant and she didn't come to my birthday party about a month ago (I was told she wasn't feeling well.)

That's where the triangle comes in. There's this girl Sam, who is stepsister to my brother's girlfriend, who happens to be a very close friend of Rose, so of course they know each other pretty well. I'm not attracted to Sam. She's very overweight (excuse me if this is shallowness or superficiality, but I'm sort of a fitness guy and am just not attracted to people that have no regard for their body) and she can be annoying to be around. Nevertheless, it's obvious that she's been hot for me for the longest time. I've always thought that this was no big deal, until I found out what she's been saying to Rose.

At a party about a month before my birthday party, Rose ended up using me as a pillow while we were watching a movie. My arm ended up around her and I could see Sam out of the corner of my eye burning a hole through Rose with her angry stare. Rose told me this Friday while we were eating at Denny's a few things I never knew before.

Apparently Sam told her she was being unfair in "throwing herself at me" at that party because she already had a boyfriend (she did, but doesn't anymore) and shouldn't be "hogging all the men". This didn't hit me hard, but Rose also said, which my brother confirmed, that Sam asked, or told her not to attend my party so "she could have a fighting chance with me." I was informed by several people that night that she was asking if they thought I would go out with her. She apparently really believes that the only thing standing between her and I is Rose.

This makes me so angry. I need to get Sam a clue somehow that there is no future between us, but I don't know if I can tell her personally. I don't like hurting people like that. I'm also afraid to ask Rose how she feels about me because not only do I fear the rejection, but I am completely unsure about her degree of loyalty to Sam and about whether or not she might hide her feelings or avoid dating me because of Sam, whether out of friendly loyalty to Sam or just to elude the conflict.

I know there are many persons who would feel lucky to have this be the biggest problem in their life, but these past couple days I've been thinking about it nonstop and it's causing stress. I have a great life in terms of where it's headed and friends in general, but I've never really had a love in my life, and I feel empty and lonely a lot of the time.

What to do?


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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OfflineGranola
bag lady

Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 411
Loc: 50.0N-6.0E
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2235595 - 01/11/04 11:33 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

rose gotta boy friend, respect it, if she messes around on him she would do it to you. if she dont then just hook up, if sh shoots you down eithe call sam or sit home and beat your meat


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OfflineTao
Village Genius

Registered: 09/19/03
Posts: 7,935
Loc: San Diego
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: Granola]
    #2236110 - 01/12/04 03:09 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

great advice  :rolleyes: but he said rose doesnt have a boyfriend anymore. 

i would say to try to ask rose out, for a drink, or coffee, or something.  if she mentions sam it would be the perfect opening to let out all the truth.  i'll tell you what you definately do NOT want to do: do some sort of rejection of sam and then ask out her best friend. <-- to be avoided at all costs.  if she doesnt, just let the night progress.  say hey do you want to go rent a movie or have a drink back at my place or something along those lines.  read body language and see if she wants anything more.  somewhere along the line she'll probably let you know, though subtely.  whats the worst that could happen?  a night out with a friend?

people have crushes on people who dont like them all the time.  i know i have before and havent met anyone who hasnt.  but dont let her crush stop you from pursuing what you want (so long as you dont go out of your way to hurt her).


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: Tao]
    #2236525 - 01/12/04 07:44 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks a lot for reading and for the advice.

I'd like to clarify on something... Sam and Rose are not best friends. Rose is best friends with Sam's stepsister, and they know each other pretty well for that reason.

She's given me reason to think she has at least some interest in the past.... for example, I took her to a concert this Friday (David Bowie) before we went to eat at Denny's and she had no problem with letting me putting my arm around her and resting on me.

I left her an IM message asking her if she wanted to go out this weekend too. I'll call her later this week and see what happens.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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InvisibleAdden
Extraordinary Beast
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 35,798
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2236890 - 01/12/04 12:54 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Start taking Rose out! Stand up for yourself and your feelings, dude! Who cares what Sam thinks? You don't want to be with her, so don't skirt around the issue. Be confident, chicks love this. Make these feelings clear to Rose if there's any miscommunication. If you've valued such a close friendship for so long, tell her how you feel about her. Communication=k3y! Especially in the beginning.

Friendships are such a strong base for a meaningful relationship. Just let her know you want to take it a step further and you want her to be your woman.

Good luck dude :smile: Nothing to lose sleep over. Just standup for yourself. Don't let Sam play her games anymore.


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InvisibleAdden
Extraordinary Beast
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 35,798
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2236898 - 01/12/04 12:58 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

If Rose really digs you, then she won't worry about Sam's feelings or her mindgames. Do you realize Sam is trying to manipulate you into a relationship? Fuck that shit. Avoid her at all costs.

If you never say anything to Rose about how you feel, she'll never know, and you'll be left in a sad, depressed limbo of "what could have been". It would hurt even more if she found someone else and you have feelings for her. She won't know unless you make it clear to her. She may have grown her own insecurities about her relationship/friendship with you, too.

sorry for 2 posts but I hope this helps


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: Adden]
    #2237135 - 01/12/04 03:20 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It does help. I like your attitude. Thanks.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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OfflineTao
Village Genius

Registered: 09/19/03
Posts: 7,935
Loc: San Diego
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2240813 - 01/14/04 04:35 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

yeah, good advice s2dope


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Magash's Grain Tek  + Tub-in-Tub Incubator + Magash's PMP + SBP Tek + Dunking = Practically all a newbie grower needs :thumbup:


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: Tao]
    #2255217 - 01/20/04 08:02 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Just an update.  I went to dinner and a movie with her this past weekend and had a great time.  I called her the day after and we're on again for this Thursday :smile:.  I'm still uneasy about hurting Sam, but it's not really an issue anymore... I want and need this.  She give s me the feeling that she wants to hook up too, and I want to make it official this Thursday.  I was thinking about asking her to make it official or telling her the way I feel explicitly, but then I realized.... for some strange reason I haven't kissed her yet (aside from playful kisses on the cheek in the past), so by the end of our next date, if I manage to grow balls I'll be sure to (at least try) lay one on her.  That should send the message and settle things.  What do you guys think?


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2255346 - 01/20/04 10:02 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Go for it!!! My opnion on the matter is if rose is good friends with sam then shit won't work out. I had a girl and her friend got jealous because she was spending to much time for me and she ditched me cuz she said her friends were more important than a guy, which I respect fully, we ended up back together though since her friend said all she ever did was talk about me even when we were broken up so it didn't much matter. I could only imagine what would have happened if her friend liked me... a good girl won't date a guy there friends likes, but I think you mentioned they wern't good friends and just knew each other cuz of family or something, if that's the case then your golden :thumbup:


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There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: John]
    #2255849 - 01/20/04 01:14 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

They're not the greatest of friends... in fact I mentioned on our last date that Sam needs to get a clue... I need to let her know somehow that things aren't going to happen between us. Rose then proceeded to scroll to Sam's name and number in her cell phone, and then she handed it to me.

I didn't call her, but that was pretty cool.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2255986 - 01/20/04 02:10 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I need to let her know somehow that things aren't going to happen between us. Rose then proceeded to scroll to Sam's name and number in her cell phone, and then she handed it to me.





:lol: damn man why you worried about this shit then, your in. good luck :smile:


--------------------
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Love Triangle Troubles [Re: John]
    #2257904 - 01/20/04 11:49 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I'm worried because I haven't had a girlfriend in years and I'll be depressed if this doesn't work out.  It does seem like I"m in though!  Thanks for your responses and support! :heartpump:


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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