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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Adamist]
    #3695946 -

Adamist said:
Protection is futile.


Protection is a must. It goes hand in hand with Education.

It is far from futile.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: niteowl]
    #3695968 -

I'm not a parent so I don't know what it's like. I would probably follow along something like what you just said..

I do however, know what it's like to be the kid whose parents forbid them from doing certain things. That makes it taboo.. and thus.. desireable. These kids are more likely to go out and do drugs irresponsibly, be destructive, not think about the consequences of their actions, etc, etc.

I know for a fact, from my own experiences, that the kids whose parents were totally against drugs, turned out the most fucked up on drugs. The kids whose parents were open and accepting about drugs, and told them the TRUTH (the real truth.. not that DARE shit).. the kids turned out MUCH more responsible.

For example, one of my friends, his dad was an alcoholic and his mom a chronic pot smoker. He learned at a young age that alcohol turns people into ugly monsters and avoided it entirely. By the time we were in middle school and all his friends were smoking weed, he still didn't do it. His mom taught him all about it and even encouraged him to smoke a couple times and he still waited until he felt like he was able to handle it. Then he loved it, and it never became a problem for him.. becoming an irresponsible pot smoker that is.

however, then you have my friend whose mom was the devout religous type, who forbid all drugs of any form. First he got into pharmies, satanism, and pcp. Then it was crack and heroin and suicide. Granted that is an extreme example, but a very real one.

In my life experiences, this trend is pretty constant. The parents who were open and accepting and wanted to EDUCATE not CONTROL their kids.. the kids turned out fine. The places where parents were closed minded and dominating.. the kids turned out fucked up in many areas.

Moral of the story - you can tell your kids not to do something until you are blue in the face. If they want to do it... they will. You can't stop them, and if you try to.. they will hate you for it and give them more reason to do it. I am a prime example of this. The best you can do is give your kids a good education, teach them whatever basic morals and principles.. and tell them that you have their best interests in heart and you will always do or say what you think is best for them, but that they have the free will to do as they please. Kids have more respect and listen more to parents who say things like that. If you say, you can't do it, period, they might hate you for it, and go do the opposite. So teach your kid right and wrong.. but let them make their own decisions. Of course you can try and stop them if they are going to do something extremely stupid or dangerous. But in general from what I have observed.. those who are repressed rebel the most.

You talk of teaching kids to wait until they are older and more developed before using drugs. I talk of kids who go behind their parents backs at 11 or 12 to do drugs and then have to hide it from them. There is no ultimate protection a parent can provide their kids, drugs are everywhere. You just have to teach them and hope they make the right decisions.

Bottom line is I would treat my kids with respect and dignity like they were a normal person or friend, not some human being that I own and who is under my control.. like some parents do. You have to draw the line somewhere between responsible parent and controlling asshole.


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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Shroomism]
    #3696002 -

Shroomism said:
The parents who were open and accepting and wanted to EDUCATE not CONTROL their kids.. the kids turned out fine.


That is the trick. Each kid is different. When your kid asks about certain drugs, you have to be truthfull(their going to find out anyway).

If a parent takes this route their kids will be MUCH more likely to NOT use them till they are older.

If you have one that is stubborn enuf to insist on using a drug(cigs, alcohol..) agree to it and just give them enuf of it to make them sick. Tell them that their young bodies cant handle the drug yet, and that they need to wait.

I have used, and seen these methods used, and know them to be VERY effective.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: niteowl]
    #3696022 -

Ok, I can agree with that.. however I've witnessed what is NOT effective.. and that is keeping your kids in the dark.. telling them drugs are evil, etc etc.

Another example.. my friend who I first said whose mom encouraged pot use.. both his parents smoked. To this day he despises cigarettes and cigarette smoke. He thinks it's nasty and disgusting.


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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Shroomism]
    #3696086 -

My daughter is the same way, Shroomism.

My wife is a cronic smoker. It took me a while to convince her to STOP smoking around our daughter.

Now my daughter thinks its disgusting. She HAS shown some interest in alcohol, but has always told me about her intentions before hand.

As your children get older, you have less and less control over their actions. You have to TEACH them about the world they are about to enter.

When the time comes for them to make a decision, they will be better equiped to make the right one.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: niteowl]
    #3696119 -

Wide words indeed.. teach them. If only more parents could be like you


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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: niteowl]
    #3697099 -

niteowl said:
When your kid asks about certain drugs, you have to be truthfull(their going to find out anyway).


niteowl said:
If you have one that is stubborn enuf to insist on using a drug(cigs, alcohol..) agree to it and just give them enuf of it to make them sick. Tell them that their young bodies cant handle the drug yet, and that they need to wait.


You just contradicted yourself. How is giving them too much of a drug and telling them they're too young to handle it being truthful? As you said, they're going to find out the truth anyway, so it's not unlikely that they find out that they just had too much of the drug, and can handle it in smaller amounts. It might work with smaller children, but not with kids in their early teenages. They will see their friends being able to "handle" it, and start to think for themselves.

I agree with Shroomism though, more parents should be like you. I'm not a parent myself, and can't imagine ever being one. That seems like way too much responsibility to handle for me in this complicated world, and I bow to anyone who can. :bow:

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Shroomism]
    #3697186 -

Great post!  :thumbup:  I believe you got what it takes to become a parent.

(Overdosing kids is not very cool.)


--------------------
The Source Of The Force
Is The Power Of The Mind

"if you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - timothy leary"
Anno: "-I can do anything with those clouds!"
Annos Tek



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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Sterile]
    #3697688 -

If you have a kid who is wanting to try cigaretts (which is the TRUE gateway drug), having them sit down with you and making them smoke 4-5 cig's back to back. Isn't going to harm them. :eek:

I had my Grandfather do this to me at a young age(6-7) and it worked.

I coughed my little head off and didnt want to do it anymore. AND I believed my Grandfather, that I needed to be older before I tried "grown-up" things.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: LethalX5]
    #3698212 -

LethalX5 said:
OK i was wondering on how you deal, or how you will deal with your kids when you find out they use them.(assuming that they will try them once in there life)


I have kids.

I have told my kids about my experiences with drugs.
The good...the bad...and the Ugly.
lolzz
I have had problems with addiction in the past.
My kids know that I smoke a little weed, take some shrooms every blue moon, and have a couple beers now and then.

My kids have seen several of my friends over the years fight drug addiction and alcoholism.
They aren't impressed with what they saw.
One friend always in jail and prison cause of drug abuse...now he is doing life in prison.
One Uncle(my brother), a worthless fricken drunk that won't take any responsiblity in his own life...and he will probably die from alcoholism like 3 of our Uncles.
Another friend losing everything he owned and his wife & family over Meth.
And yet another friend in a mental hospital...cause Aliens were in his head and he was scratching bugs that weren't there, all over his body he had sores from scratching.

I have taken one son to Hempfest with me, a bunch of shroomery friends and RL friends...he was 8 or 9 year old at the time.
He enjoyed Hempfest...he sat around and watched everyone get stoned and asked for a hit off the pipe...I said "No..your too young, if you want to try it when your older I'll let you"...he probably got a contact high cause he was there for so long...lol.
This past summer we gave him a beer to drink with us during a camping trip.
He was told not to tell anyone or that would be it til he was mature enough.
So what does he do?
He tell's my girl friend that Uncle Donny and Dad(Me) gave him a beer...and that he caught a buzz.
He pissed me off...cause he told someone!~

I have told all my kids that if they want to do drugs or drink to come see me.
We can sit down and talk about it...if they still want to try it...cool.
Hell...I might even sit down and party with them...guess that will depend on the situation and the drug involved.

My parents let me party at home...when I was growing up.
We had a pool table down stairs in the rec room.
We were allowed to drink, smoke weed, play pool and listen to loud rock n roll music...now and then the door upstairs would open up and we would hear "Can you turn the music down a little?".
My Dad came down and took a few shots with us several times.
I always wondered why my parents let us party at home...they were older parents, in their 60's when I was a teenager.

Several years ago I realized why they let me and my friends party at home.
Because I was in their house...and we were safe.
They knew we weren't going to be out driving around drunk and getting into trouble...if we were partying at home.
They might not have liked what we were doing...but they were making sure that we were safe...now that is a true parent.
I guess I was lucky to have cool parents...I miss them.

I want to be a good parent too...just like my mom and dad.
I want my kids to experience life...but I also want them to be safe.
The most important thing I show my kids is LOVE...I love them with all my heart.
I hope that they feel like they can talk to me about anything.

I could talk to my Mom about anything...and she would never judge me.
Drugs, Sex and girls, problems in life...anything.
She was my best friend.

Rest in Peace Mom and Dad!~
I love and miss you!~


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!

Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.


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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Roadkill]
    #3698302 -

Roadkill said:
He was told not to tell anyone or that would be it til he was mature enough.
So what does he do?
He tell's my girl friend that Uncle Donny and Dad(Me) gave him a beer...and that he caught a buzz.
He pissed me off...cause he told someone!~



:rolleyes:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Roadkill]
    #3698573 -

You seem like an awesome parent, eh? I bet your kids are probably going to grow up to be one of them cannabis-smokers though.


--------------------
So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Ravus]
    #3698824 -

Ravus said:
You seem like an awesome parent, eh? I bet your kids are probably going to grow up to be one of them cannabis-smokers though.


Thanks!~

KoOs from here at the shroomery met me...and said he wished I was his Dad.  :smile:
That was a great compliment...he was a great kid...he's probably a grown man now.
Haven't seen him in quite awhile.

Most people think I'm a good Dad...that know me.
I treat my kids the way that I'd like to be treated...thats the key.

I'm not sure what the future will bring to my kids.
I just hope its a bright one...full of happiness.
:smile:

God made the Green...and he doesn't make mistakes...in my book.
It really wouldn't bother me if my kids dabbled with the Green.

I think I'd be more upset if they ended up drunks...we have had alot of  alcoholism in my family...and hopefully they won't go that route.

I also have to say that I hope my kids won't touch Meth or harder drugs...hopefully they learned from watching others destroy their lives.

Peace!~


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!

Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.


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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Roadkill]
    #3698842 -

Roadkill said:
I think I'd be more upset if they ended up drunks...we have had alot of alcoholism in my family...and hopefully they won't go that route.


Yet you gave him alcohol at a young age, and he liked it, went around bragging about it.

Not a good idea, since alcoholism runs in his blood.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: niteowl]
    #3698857 -

Giving a kid an occassional beer or glass of wine isn't necessarily going to cause harm. In European countries such as France, it's not uncommon to pour a minor a glass of wine during dinner, yet you don't see their whole population driving around drunk and being hardcore alcoholics. I doubt the kid even felt anything off of one beer, he was probably just bragging because he felt cool that he had tried beer.

If you take away the stigma and rebellion of alcohol by pouring a kid a glass of wine during dinner or giving them a beer, they'd probably have a less chance of becoming alcoholics than if you always told them that you'd kill them if they ever touched a drop of beer and that alcohol would ruin their lives. Tell them the truth about alcoholism, but a beer or glass of wine isn't going to ruin their lives.


--------------------
So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: Ravus]
    #3698900 -

If alcoholism runs in your family it is best to teach them about it, while they are young, and try to lead them away from alcohol.

Europe has a whole DIFFERENT way of looking at alcohol, and I dont think their is anything wrong with the European attitude towards beer and wine.

However...if you were to freely alow your kids to consume the ocasional beverage...they will tell!!

Ask Roadkill..

If the wrong parent hears of you doing that, you could be in SERIOUS trouble. I have seen it happen.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: monkeybutt]
    #3698945 -

monkeybutt said:
To hell with them. They're stuck in a small and closed-minded world in which one must use drugs and agree with their opinions in order to be acceptable. It is their own underlying hatred for who they are that makes them speak out against you, and many of them have yet to come to this realization.



Its a drug forum what do you expect? Thats like going to the kkk forums and wondering why their are so many racists...

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: The_Red_Crayon]
    #3698953 -

he's doser, the troll pay him no mind


--------------------


Got a question about a substance?  Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the  mushroom experience? The  Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before.
         
I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
  - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess

"I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: The_Red_Crayon]
    #3698956 -

he is a "weak minded, mentally deficient, stalker, who for some reason cannot handle being around drugs or the culture"


--------------------


Got a question about a substance?  Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the  mushroom experience? The  Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before.
         
I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
  - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess

"I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve

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Re: YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS!?! [Re: niteowl]
    #3698965 -

True...alcoholism runs in my family.

But I don't have a drinking problem.

I only drink one or two beers...tops.
And only a few times a year...mind you.
I probably had 10 beers last year...thats not having a drinking problem.

My dad always used to give me sips of beer when I was little...I loved the taste of beer when I was a toddler.
He didn't have a drinking problem.

My mothers brothers(my uncles) were the alcoholic's in the family.

My brother has a serious drinking problem...and my kids see through him what alcohol can do to someone.
They don't like drunks...they don't respect their uncle.
I really don't think that they will have a drinking problem because they have seen what it does to him...and its not glamorous to them.
Their not stupid...kids are smarter than you think.

I don't see a problem.
There is nothing wrong with letting your kid have a beer...or a few sips off a beer.

Yeah his mother probably wouldn't like it.
Thats why he was told not to tell anyone...and he did tell someone...my girl friend...my girl friend wasn't upset by the way...mind you.
Now he lost the priviledge to have a beer with his Dad(me)...til he is older and more mature.

I have a 25 year old son...he doesn't smoke, do drugs and is a social drinker.
I have a 16 year old daughter...she doesn't smoke, do drugs or drink.
I have (2) 15 year old step sons...they don't smoke, do drugs or drink.
I have a 13 year old step daughter...she tried smoking...she doesn't smoke any more.
I have a 11 year old step son...he doesn't do jack.
I have a 10 year old son...he is the one that had one beer...thats it.
I have a 4 year old step daughter...she is always telling me to stop smoking.

I'm sure my kids will turn out just fine...thank you!~


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!

Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.


Edited by Roadkill (01/29/05 03:50 PM)

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