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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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Alien Abduction Prevention Device
    #3696764 -

Buy yours here!

The Alien Abduction Preventive Device is guaranteed for LIFE.  Should you or the holder of the Alien Abduction Preventive Device be abducted 110% of the purchase price will be refunded.

You can and must protect yourself and your loved ones from ALIEN ABDUCTION.

Gotta love that guarantee.  :wink:


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Swami]
    #3696781 -

Any protection from probing? I'm more worried about that than anything.


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β€œThe crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought.”  -- Rudiger Dornbusch

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: zorbman]
    #3696813 -

PM me and we can discuss setting up our own corporation to market a device to stop the anal probing. However, we should rethink your idea about establishing headquarters in San Francisco.

This brings up a good topic for another thread: ARE ALIENS PERVERTS?


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Swami]
    #3696860 -

LOL, great thing about it, is that its cheap too!!


I wonder what you have to go through to get a refund if you are abducted?? :laugh:


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Lord Fungusmaximus

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Swami]
    #3696866 -

"Traumaprevention device for the children, will blur all naked breasts and-the-like if a child happens to see one by accident, in just 0,05sec!"


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- When the time stops, evil ones will be pointed out for all to see.

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: repemon]
    #3696903 -

$6.75 is a reasonable price though if you consider all the possible consequences.... :wink:


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Grow Mushrooms from Spores - PF-Tek for Simple Minds

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Anno]
    #3697306 -

If it doubled as a Swami psy-wave deflector I'd be sold.

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: deep_umbra]
    #3697454 -

We should not resist it, they said it's for our own good, we must let our self be abducted, it will serve their science and our own species.

What we should do is writte a petition for the use of pain killers :smile:


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"..and suddenly it began to rain"

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Swami]
    #3697468 -

http://www.alienscalpel.com/device.htm

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3697644 -

i wish my friend had one of those before he got abducted,now look at him.


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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3697955 -

That probably actually works. I sleep with my motorcycle helmet on and have yet to be abducted. (Nor do I usually get repeat dates when ladies stay over *scratches head*  :ooo:)


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Swami]
    #3697980 -

At the risk of sounding... mentally unstable, I would like to make a public endorsement of this product.  I bought one and attaching it to my necklace next to my  St. Christopher medal (in case it didn't work, St. Christopher is the patron saint of travelers, so I'm pretty well covered).  Since wearing it, I have not experienced ANY alien abductions and I've been able to halve my use of hydrocortisone suppositories. 

:smile:THANK YOU, Alien Abduction Preventive Device?!  :thumbup:


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Money doesn't grow on trees, but deficits do grow under Bushes.

You can accept, reject, or examine and test any new idea that comes to you. The wise man chooses the third way.
- Tom Willhite

Disclaimer: I reserve the right to change my opinions should I become aware of additional facts, the falsification of information or different perspectives. Articles written by others which I post may not necessarily reflect my opinions in part or in whole, my opinions may be in direct opposition, the topic may be one on which I have yet to formulate an opinion or have doubts about, an article may be posted solely with the intent to stimulate discussion or contemplation.

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: zorbman]
    #3698094 -

Get a chastity belt.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Swami]
    #3698145 -

I doubt many motorcycle helmets are rated for for alien mind waves man, get scientific.


Alien abduction prevention methods

These methods have been discovered by several scientific studies and have been proven to work to a degree, but are only temporary measures, but can be carried out by anyone.

1. As a form of alarm you can create a fine powder that will crack loudly when stood on. To create this, mix iodine crystals with household
ammonia then spread wet along hallways etc, when this is dry it hardens and will create a loud cracking sound when stood on, an early warning.

2. Another method is to film the person who is abducted in their sleep and record this as well, as this seems to stop abductions, but the camera has been known to stop recording for unknown reasons, and once this happens the abduction has still been carried out. It would also be a good idea for the cameras to have there own power supply, in case the main supply fails.

It could also be a good idea to set up security cameras in other vulnerable areas of your property.
We have also heard bright security lights (that also come on when there is a power failure) have also been known to prevent abductions. Whether this is because they provide some reassurance or something else is unknown.

3. Also you can when you sense an abduction is about to take place just say No and imagine a white light around you, this is supposed to have had some success, you can only try.

Disclaimer

Please note that these are only temporary measures. Anyone trying them for themselves do so entirely at their own risk, the main purpose of these is to give the abductee
some sense of control again in there lives. Also there is a danger that an abductee could be come addicted to these prevention methods, again we take no responsibility for this and it would be wise if this is the case that you seek seek professional help.
Note: we take no responsibility for the quality of service given by the Alien abduction support groups listed, these groups are in no way affilated to us.

Alien abduction local support.

Please submit your alien abduction report as each one we receive helps us get closer to the truth, please click here to submit your report.

http://www.ufoorganisation.com/index.html?http%3A//www.ufoorganisation.com/preventalienabduction.htm

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3698583 -

"I doubt many motorcycle helmets are rated for for alien mind waves man, get scientific."

Yeah! Get a tin foil hat.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3699053 -

the trick is to line the inside of the helmet with aluminum foil.

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Re: Alien Abduction Prevention Device [Re: Cosm]
    #3699068 -

Dang, we have a jen-yoo-wine engineer in our midst. :smile:


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The proof is in the pudding.

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