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Thread Contamination
    #3399389 -

There are a lot of positive, sincere and thoughtful posters on this board. To them, thank you.

However, IT ONLY TAKES ONE BAD APPLE TO SPOIL THE ENTIRE BUSHEL.

Reasonable disagreement and debate about creation vs. evolution etc. seems normal and even desirable. Ongoing negativity and unreasonable challenges to a person's beliefs (no matter how bizarre) is something else entirely.

Perhaps I am not alone in losing interest in posting or even reading threads, given the negativity prevalent in many threads.


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Anxiety is what you make it.

Edited by LunarEclipse (11/23/04 06:19 PM)

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3399405 -

No, you're not alone...

Religion/beliefs/orlackthereof are always going to be hot topics.  I doubt it will change.  Just roll with it, read what you want, speak your piece, and try not to get too riled up. :crazy2:

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: MOTH]
    #3399415 -

When people go to a forum about spirituality and philosophy they should be prepared to leave emotional attachments to their beliefs at the door, in my opinion. Debate is always healthy when it's not needlessly antagonistic.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: deafpanda]
    #3399422 -

If you believe everything you read, better not read?

:confused: :heart:


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Disclaimer!?

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: deafpanda]
    #3399433 -

deafpanda said:
When people go to a forum about spirituality and philosophy they should be prepared to leave emotional attachments to their beliefs at the door, in my opinion.  Debate is always healthy when it's not needlessly antagonistic.


:thumbup:

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: deafpanda]
    #3399479 -

deafpanda said:
When people go to a forum about spirituality and philosophy they should be prepared to leave emotional attachments to their beliefs at the door, in my opinion.  Debate is always healthy when it's not needlessly antagonistic.


:thumbup:

One of the FIRST lessons I learned in life was that I can't hold others responsible for how their words affect me. If you chose to take someone's dissagreemend with you as negativity or a personal attack, it doesn't mean that's how they intended it. There are a lot of people here who don't even use english as a first language, but even among those of us who DO...misunderstandings are expected.

How you feel from someone's remarks is up to you.

Now this, I won't say is the same with everyone, but I find that whenever someone says something that makes me feel angry, upset, or personally attacked, it is because they are saying something I don't want to hear...and usually because it is something I need to hear.


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: Gomp]
    #3399696 -

"If you believe everything you read, better not read?"

Gomp, I am not sure how you got that out of my post. I don't believe much of what I read, I don't believe in religion, and I certainly don't believe that the government is here to help us.

As to your posts, I read them but don't understand most of them. Perhaps it is a language thing as you are from Norway. Or, maybe you are on another and higher level. Or, perhaps you are just confused. Regardless, I read your posts and at least try to understand them. And I absolutely respect you as I believe you to be a caring and gentle person, which are both great qualities. Your story about being so upset about killing that mouse showed that to me.


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Anxiety is what you make it.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: trendal]
    #3399727 -

"If you chose to take someone's dissagreemend with you as negativity or a personal attack, it doesn't mean that's how they intended it."

You disagreed with me about randomness, which I didn't consider as any kind of negativity or personal attack. Just a difference of opinion.

But, if something looks like shit, and it smells like shit, it may be something you don't want to keep stepping in.


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Anxiety is what you make it.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: deafpanda]
    #3399758 -

"Debate is always healthy when it's not needlessly antagonistic."

Absolutely. And when a debate IS needlessly and repeatedly antagonistic, it is NOT healthy.

Do you continue your personal relationships with someone who constantly antagonizes you in a negative way for no apparent reason?


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Anxiety is what you make it.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3399890 -

Yet still, you shouldn't let any of it bother you! Understand that some people are going to act in a negative way towards you. This is Life, or so it seems!

Also, the Ignore function works wonders :wink:


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3399896 -

I have racquetball students who would rather defend their weaknesses than learn anything new. They usually got angry and discontinued lessons, and when I saw them years later, were repeating the same old mistakes and had made little progress. Others, who were actually open to learning and disciplined practice (not merely claiming open-mindedness), have gone on to take home trophies.

The relevance, as trendal pointed out, is that response is IN THE PERSON. The bigger the ego (attachment to beliefs), the bigger the perceived hurt when challenged.

Remember, no posters are actually harmed by squiggles on a screen.


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3400048 -

I feel ya. In my life off the board, I am hyper anal about choosing what influences and attitudes I surround and support myself with.

I'm too open and empathetic and when I come across someone spewing toxic waste, I take it all in before I can put guards up. Then I have to transmute it all . Blah. I don't like to live with my guard up and typically don't have to.

There are some people in my life, whom I know are chronic spewers of negativity. If I know I will see them, I either power myself up to blow their negativity out of the water-ha ha ha- I love leaving people dazed and confused-just start talking really far out trippy to them and they'll want to avoid you or I put my guard up, let them babble, pretend like I am engaged when I'm really a million miles away in happy land laughing at the blah blah blah drama.

But to be open, empathetic and caught off guard with a human leaking toxins is not ideal. I have a hard time with it too. Some times, if I take on more then I can process I end up leaking the overflow.

When I see that happening, I know its time to shut down and play catch up before I open again. Humans are pretty toxic beings. Non the less, I don't want to live walking around in a radio active protective gear. I want to be able to feel people. When I read here, I like to feel the words, I don't just intellectualise them.

Like tren said, if it gets to be too much coming from the same person or persons, just put them on user ignore for a while. And then, when you get back up to par, start to see the humor in it. Hopefully you will see them in a new light up the road. Transmute their toxicity with laughter. It's the second best transformative healing energy next to forgiveness. Put them together and you become a power house!

There are certain user names here where I expect the toxins to be gushing, so I put on my radio active suit before I start reading their stuff. With my protective suit on, I can take it in intellectually first, see the humor in it and then let it drop into the emotional body, where I can burn it off with laghter.

A while back on another board I did an analogy called The Industrious Self. I compared us to being like light refinery plants that took in dark negative energy and through refining it, purified it and then pumped it back out bright, clear and clean!

Life is funny!


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: Swami]
    #3400567 -

"I have racquetball students who would rather defend their weaknesses than learn anything new. They usually got angry and discontinued lessons."

As you have used the term defend their weaknesses, you had first attacked their weaknesses. Agreed, it was their ego which probably led to their defense of your attack, and which made them angry and decide to discontinue lessons. Further agreed, other students were better able to handle your negative criticism of their game and perhaps even be motivated by it.

I contend that you could have been equally successful with the students who became angry and quit. A truly successful teacher changes their techniques to match the student's nature. If a students ego doesn't allow them to favorably respond to criticism, the teacher uses positive reinforcement instead. I contend that the majority of students and people in general will respond more favorably to positive reinforcement than to negative criticism.

Words can hurt, they are more than just "squiggles on a screen" as you put it.

You must get something from challenging and debunking people's beliefs, myths, and personal experiences in this forum, or you wouldn't be doing it with such vigor. Are you trying to be the teacher with the tough approach here?


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Anxiety is what you make it.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3400633 -

It is a wonderful thing is it not...instead of contamination I call it the sharing of ideas.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3401131 -

You made some BIG and false assumptions there that were not in evidence.

I am never abusive to my students, but I am direct. There is a HUGE difference. I will not tell someone, "Your follow-through really sucks!" But I will say, "You will not generate much power by checking your swing and locking your elbow." You may be surprised how that can trigger anger, because once again, they may have many years INVESTED in playing poorly.

People often loudly and aggressively defend their weaknesses no matter how you approach them. Ever try to get someone off nicotine or live with an alcoholic and suggest they seek help?


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3402446 -

I guess it spawned from thinking,if ONE BAD APPLE could SPOIL THE ENTIRE BUSHEL, just ignore that one bad apple? :wink:

oh, and thank you for kind words  :wink: :thumbup: :heart:
The respect is mutual.


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Disclaimer!?

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3402455 -

Quote:
I contend that you could have been equally successful with the students who became angry and quit. A truly successful teacher changes their techniques to match the student's nature. If a students ego doesn't allow them to favorably respond to criticism, the teacher uses positive reinforcement instead. I contend that the majority of students and people in general will respond more favorably to positive reinforcement than to negative criticism



Have you ever tried to coach somebody?

It's not as happy-shiny as you paint it. Some people.. do not listen when being told what they're doing wrong and what they need to do to improve. I'm a bit guilty of this myself, though usually what I do is continue as I had been while keepin the suggestions in mind, eventually switching over after I observe for myself what I'm doing and why it'd be better if I did something else.. but I'm built oddly, and usually need to slightly modify suggestions to fit my build. I'm straying.. anyway.

An uncooperative student is not the fault of the teacher. It is the student's problem to resolve, not the teacher's.


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i finally got around to making a sig
revel in its glory and quake in fear at its might
grar.

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: Mushmonkey]
    #3402466 -

"some people, 'know' to much to teach"
-unknown :P


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Disclaimer!?

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #3402549 -

LunarEclipse said:
Words can hurt, they are more than just "squiggles on a screen" as you put it. 


They are, and then again, they aren't. Words cannot hurt if one is not capable of reading in the first place. :smirk:

Any meaning implied by words is defined by your mind. Furthermore, your reaction to that meaning is even more under your own control. The consensus seems to be that if one arrives in this forum and will experience hurt or other various negative emotions from being exposed to another's comments, then they themselves are responsible for feeling that way. They are not capable of interacting in this forum properly and are being offered an excellent lesson on personal growth and strength of character.

We have forum rules that ensure that any baseless negativity is kept out of this forum, but every poster shouldn't be susceptible to negativity anyways. We can all be evolved beings here.

I contend that you would have more power as a teacher if you worked with these people in order to teach them instead of ranting about their behavior here. I'd suggest changing your technique to fit your students, master. :wink:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


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:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: Thread Contamination [Re: Swami]
    #3403273 -

I didn't say you were abusive, and told the players they suck.

However, look again at your suggestion "You will not generate much power by checking your elbow by checking your swing and locking your elbow."

Compare that to "You would generate so much MORE power by finishing your follow through. Here, watch me. Now you try it. Good. Practice that follow through this week by yourself for at least an hour and see you next week. Great job." In other words, dangle a carrot in front of them instead of using a stick, give them a pat on the back. If they feel good about the process they will work harder and improve faster.


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Anxiety is what you make it.

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