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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
rlationship
    #3294757 - 10/29/04 07:46 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

my wife told me last night that she has no romantic feelings towards me. she hasnt for a while, and shes just been leading me on, lying to me about how she feels about me.

BUT

she loves me and wants to be with me?

she loves me but doesnt want to make love with me.

i am confused. betrayed and broken hearted.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,360
Loc: In the jungle
Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3295019 - 10/29/04 09:05 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I'm so sorry.  :frown:  I know anything I say probably won't be able to help.  But just know that I am sending lots of good vibes and love your way.  :heart:


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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
Loc: NorCaL
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: rlationship [Re: MOTH]
    #3295074 - 10/29/04 09:22 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

She may be sick.
Suggest she see a doctor...there are lots of reasons for women to loose their libido. My wife got that way and I figured it was just because I was an asshole.
But she ended up having thyroid disorder. She is on a drug called synthroid now to balance her thyroid levels and she is a horny bitch again.
LOTS of other physical reasons for it that may not be related to your relationship at all. Depression, Hormone levels, cysts, anxiety, your small penis. (JK on that last one :smile:


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
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Re: rlationship [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3295121 - 10/29/04 09:40 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

shes been to the doctor about her libido, and now in hindsight i think she was just trying to find something taht wasnt there.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Offlinequarkyquasar
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Registered: 07/20/03
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Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3295154 - 10/29/04 09:49 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Todcasil said:
and now in hindsight i think she was just trying to find something taht wasnt there.




I don't understand that last part. Sorry


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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Male

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Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3295434 - 10/29/04 11:14 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

maybe shes into some kinky shit and doesnt know it!


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3295751 - 10/30/04 01:00 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

It's weird how "love" and "in love" are not the same thing.

I used to go out with my current best friend. She claimed to be
in love with me, yet I was never in love with her. Although,
I love this girl like you wouldn't believe. I care for her and
would do anything for her. I just have no romantic feelings
for her.

Once those romantic feelings are gone(or they were never there),
they rarely come back. I don't know what kind of relationship
you want. Some people are content with knowing that that lustful
romantic feeling is gone, and it has been replaced by a
comfortable compatibility. Some are not content with knowing
that "spark" is no longer there and they move on.

If you want a relationship where romantic feelings abound...I can
only suggest you move on. If she doesn't feel that way now..she
probably never will.

Good Luck.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
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Re: rlationship [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3296863 - 10/30/04 11:47 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

i know :frown:

it saddens me to think about it.

i know i will never get "what i want" with her, but i love her so much.

but at the same time, physical love is very important to me... romantic love is very impertant to me.  i cannot be with someone who does not share these things in common, because i make myself miserable over them.

sigh.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
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Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3297009 - 10/30/04 12:35 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

See a counselor and sex therapist..
Get kinky
Get her to tell you her fantasies.
Fulfill her fantasy.
Swallow your pride if her ideal man is not you and live with it. If you love her and she gets you off then do what you have to get her off. Lick her pussy more. Watch more porn.
Swing and swap if that's your thing.
This is not abnormal, its classic as a matter of fact.
Why do people cheat on each other so much?
Because they don't fulfill each others needs, and get insulted when they grow apart and start looking around or loose romantic feelings.
It is possible to re spark lust and romance. You need to find out what her need are and do something about it.
On the other hand maybe she is in love with someone else and cheating on you. Ask her. If not then go get a book, read how to improve your sex life and fix it like most people have to at sometime or another in their marriage.


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
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Re: rlationship [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3298251 - 10/30/04 07:17 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

im working on it quarky.

i think the only thing we both needed was the idea of freedom...

as odd as that sounds.  i will keep everyone updated.  but it may be slow updates, shit doesnt happen over night.

:smile:

peace


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Invisiblevivid
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Registered: 12/15/99
Posts: 1,888
Loc: Berkeley, California
Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3298266 - 10/30/04 07:24 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

best of luck to you man, however this turns out. I'll send you some good voodoo


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: rlationship [Re: vivid]
    #3298483 - 10/30/04 08:33 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

who do voodoo?

you do?

ill be checking my haitian mail daily for it :smile:

thanks though, its good to have support...

but i guess thats why this is the support forum?

peace


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3300349 - 10/31/04 07:28 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

nice labrinth quote there(one of my fave movies)

Sorry to hear about your relationship. I was somewhat in the same relationship with my husband. I loved him and cared for him, but I never was in love with him. Sounds horrible I know. It's a very long story.

I know he felt the same way. I couldn't live that way anymore. We had to move on. For your own sanity, you should move on. You deserve to be loved completely, fully and unconditionally. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't feel for you in the same way that you feel for them. That just doesn't make sense to me. How long have you been married? How old are you...if I may ask?
Of course this is something you don't easily get over, but in time...you will get over it. You will be happy to. Don't settle for what you already have. Don't settle with a love that isn't truly there. You are better then that. Don't lower yourself to that level.
You can try and try to make things work. Sometimes it's just not meant to be. Sorry, I'm just rambling a little. I'll shut up now.

I hope things work out the way they should. Be strong in your choices and live life to it's fullest.

Good luck!

~Desiree~


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Re: rlationship [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3300917 - 10/31/04 02:32 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

i think all the right decisions have been made...

if she doesnt want sexual love from me, than i cant deny her feelings. i can only tame my own, change my outlook on how i run my gamut of desires.

so far so good, and easier than i had imagined. i thanked her for telling me the truth, and let her know that she is my best friend, and that wont change on my end... my love for her wont change.

she knows she can always count on me, and i know that she didnt want to hurt me. i dont even feel like it was an issue anymore, we are still staying together, but its like having your best friend for a roomate.... i suppose somewhere a long the line we will get a divorce but its inconvenient right now.

all is well, the sun has set on an old empire, but the moon has risen, and the tides have changed.

i am here now!

peace


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Offlinelovelight
float

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 368
Loc: yellow submarine
Last seen: 10 years, 30 days
Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3302362 - 10/31/04 09:51 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Todcasil said:i am here now!




and I am so glad you are! keep on truckin!
:thumbup:


--------------------
Turn on your lovelight, let it shine on me


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Offlinezipaday
shr00m vr00m
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 20
Loc: Kans.
Last seen: 12 years, 20 days
Re: rlationship [Re: lovelight]
    #3304574 - 11/01/04 02:16 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

no man no no no nonono. Don't let it get to you. It is not that deep.

1: She doesnt feel romantically in love with you because she doesnt get horny anymore its something wrong with her body/age.

2: She doesn't feel sexually attracted to you like that anymore, her sexual organs still function properly, and she's going to get her desires filled by someone besides you weather you ever know about it or not. You might be convinced that she loves you etc... would never cheat on you just because she's your wife, but guess what, she already admitted to leading you on. None of it is either of your faults, get over it its no big deal. Kthx.


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........./.......\.......
........(_._._._).......
............|.|...........
............|.|...........
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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
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Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3304729 - 11/01/04 03:06 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Just get your game on. Be a player not like a pimp. Just ya know sharpin your self up a bit, build up your confidence change your habbits, and just start from a whole new point of view. Make her fall in love with the you you used to be when you were on your ttoes trying to swooo her. Learn some new big words and when she comes down staires ready to go out tell her how nice she looks.
Yall are to youg to live like old people.


--------------------




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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: rlationship [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #3305852 - 11/01/04 07:12 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

advice is all well, but this has been in the making since day one, its ok.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineTodcasil
rogue DMT elf
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Registered: 08/09/99
Posts: 16,381
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Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3308980 - 11/02/04 02:01 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

we are splitting up....

i will miss being with my children so much....

that is hurting.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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Offlinequarkyquasar
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Registered: 07/20/03
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Re: rlationship [Re: Todcasil]
    #3311010 - 11/02/04 08:47 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Get a damn lawyer NOW!
LAWYER
LAWYER
LAWYER
GO get it now, call and pay your retention!
NOW


--------------------

How does a nice dose of democracy up your ass sound?
Oh, and please enjoy your new freedom if you happen to survive
....


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