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When relationships die
    #5439459 -

:sad:

All of us have had times in our lives when we met somebody new and things just "clicked" with that person.  This person could have been a romantic interest or a friend.  The initial stages of the relationship would be full of new experiences, genuine fondness for one another, and fun times.

But, it seems inevitable that no matter how enjoyable the initial phases of a relationship are, the enjoyment of partaking in the relationship diminishes.  A person's flaws become more apparent.  The two people might grow apart.  The relationship oftentimes ends up dying slowly.  It is always depressing when this happens.  It just makes me feel sad and alone as a person.

If you want to see a good example of a relationship dying watch "Ghost World" the movie.

Edited by RandalFlagg (03/24/06 08:27 PM)

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Re: When relationships die [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5439473 -

all too true...

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Re: When relationships die [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5439813 -

Goddamn girlfriend.... we live together... just tonight, she says "I want to go to bed soon" (translation: you're going to bed soon, get off the computer now) and I notice a friend of mine is online. I send her a message as I haven't SEEN HER ONLINE IN 6 MONTHS... and my girlfriend scoffs and walks off. 1 minute later, she's back, glaring at me, so I ask her if something is the matter. "No." Are you mad at me? "No."

She gets in bed, I shut down the 'net, and get in with her. I ask for a hug, to which I get no response. I ask again, what's the matter? Stonefaced. Next thing, she's calling me an asshole... so now I'm offended... she accuses me of NOT BEING AWARE OF WHEN SHE'S UPSET, and goes into the other room, calling me NAMES.

I fucking love this girl and I feel like she doesn't even know how she's acting... if I even try to talk to her about it, I'm being an "asshole"... WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

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Re: When relationships die [Re: Mezcal]
    #5439843 -

You should tell her she's being a fucking psycho, and that you don't read minds, and that if she tells you she's not mad or upset, you're going to BELIEVE her.  Just because she's going to bed doesn't mean you need to JUMP up and stop what you're doing.  You guys are not ONE person, and you don't need to do things at precisely the same instant like siamese twins.  She shouldn't act like that :noway:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.


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Re: When relationships die [Re: Liz]
    #5439930 -

ok see next time she does that, just go "cuuuute!" smile and walk off.

if she keeps on being such a brat, call her on it and tell her you wont take her shit and there a million other girls that would die to be with you :thumbup: :headbang:

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Re: When relationships die [Re: Mezcal]
    #5440746 -

Update: now I'm an asshole because "I don't want to talk about it."

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Re: When relationships die [Re: Mezcal]
    #5440796 -

snyder said:
I fucking love this girl and I feel like she doesn't even know how she's acting... if I even try to talk to her about it, I'm being an "asshole"... WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?


Liz said:
You should tell her she's being a fucking psycho, and that you don't read minds


Wow. These two posts kind of shook me up.

Emotional manipulation, what a drag! I must admit I have been guilty of this. Sometimes I act more upset then I really am just to make a point, and then I don't know how to back out of it.

The poor hubs had mostly broken me of that by vowing to never discuss anything with me while I'm still upset. That way I know if I'm throwing a fit I just get to stew in it until I calm down enough to make my point without being a raving bitch about it. God it's the most frustrating thing in the world, but it does wonders.

Years of drama addiction are hard to erase, IMPOSSIBLE if no one ever shows you a different way. Set up some rules of conduct with your woman and make sure that you both stick to them. You deserve to be treated with respect.


--------------------

~I was born of a voice untimely,
the so-called echo of a man's ordure~

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Re: When relationships die [Re: Mezcal]
    #5441204 -

snyder said:
WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?


Sit down, talk. No tv. No music. No nothing. Talk. You people as a unit have terrible communication issues. When something is wrong she needs to tell you, she can't say "no" and so she obviously has reasons for not feeling like she can be direct with her emotions.

The only way to fix it is to strengthen your communication. Maybe she isn't willing, it sounds pretty unreasonable how she was from the way you tell the story but it's not about blame.

Also never watch tv ever again, take your television and blow it up. People learn how to behave this way through media programming, and I really truely mean this. They do.

I mean television is nothing but drama..... it made me fall into the depressed mopey I should kill myself crowd through modeling teenage drama as portrayed via pop culture.

We learn to communicate from the TV, we become this way through the TV. You aren't close enough to her verbally and neither is she you, there are walls set up which inhibit uncesored verbal expression no matter what emotions are being felt.

Put the pieces back together.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (03/25/06 02:24 PM)

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Re: When relationships die [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5442419 -

True man... I hate to admit it but yeah... I was thinking the same thing lately.

I don't want to sound so damn shallow because I've always been sort of a hopeless romantic kinda guy... let myself fall into "real" love for the second time but the same thing's happening as the last time. Things are getting shitty, I'm lookin at lots of different woman.. things just won't stick together. It's like a ball of dry dough in the sense that things won't hold. Peice together one part and something else falls apart. :frown:

Hate to admit it but I just watched Failure to launch with my gf last night. I think that Trip should have stuck to his guns and proceeded to dump chicks after the fun's lost. If I break up with my gf I think I'll just play the ball field for a while. Never have and I'm turning 20 soon. Don't feel alone though, mang. I'm not too sure what I'll do. Get closer with friend-girls so someone's always there... but you no, no sex or anything? :shrug:


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop

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