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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 10
    #29678054 -

I followed the cultural guidelines for kids.

I settled down somewhat to raise kids. Right haircut for the right job for the right house in the right school district for decades was terrible for me which made things less ideal for everyone.

I waited until the kids grew up to live the way I wanted.

All of this was totally backwards.

I should have lived my best life WITH my kids and homeschooled them in the woods rather than dying in a cubicle for 20 years while I paid strangers to watch and teach them how to be an obedient consumer.

So keep in mind no one knows the right way to live, no matter the laws or cultural precedent.


--------------------
It takes guts to be
gentle and kind

Another way to live

Your ego is your nemesis.
Seek the truth tirelessly,
Even at the cost of your own sanity.
-fiddle_head

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 3
    #29678062 -

Belintaf said:
That’s really beautiful, Churp. Truly.

I'll take this opportunity to share my situation...

My partner and I have been together for 11 years — we're both itinerant street performers. Both of us have ideals that are usually hard to swallow for most of society (obviously). And both of us will probably be the end of the line for our genetics...

It's not that I don't want to have kids, because in my view, it's the only biological reason for the existence of the human species. But — it's almost impossible for us to even consider it with our lifestyle.

When I say itinerant, I mean "backpacking". I don't want a camper van, I don't want a caravan — and I don't want to settle down either. Spending one year in one place out of necessity — after 10 years of grinding — I can still stomach it, but...

I don't want to settle down for years. Kids require a certain stability, schooling (here it's compulsory from 6 to 16, which is another very delicate topic), a real roof over their heads — not tents, not cheap-ass brothel motels, a little safe bubble — not bohemian uncertainty.

We're at a really tough crossroads. We live a life that fulfills us, but if we consider becoming parents, it means radically changing our whole lives. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. And we wouldn't want to be bitter parents living a life we don't resonate with, just to have offspring — that's no good for the little ones.

It's a real mess. :ohwell:



Also kids aren't for everybody. And that's perfectly fine. There are other ways to be happy and a good person. Kids are just a really good one.

Whether you want them or not or understand that you shouldn't have them and are being responsible. That makes no difference.

So no worries brotha.


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 3
    #29678066 -

callmehippie said:
Also kids aren't for everybody. And that's perfectly fine. There are other ways to be happy and a good person. Kids are just a really good one.

Whether you want them or not or understand that you shouldn't have them and are being responsible. That makes no difference.

So no worries brotha.


Yeeeeeep.  When I was a kid, I always thought I was gonna be a father, at some point.  Just seemed like the kinda thing ya did, ya know?  That was until I had to live w/ my cousin and his newborn son for a while.  The random crying in the middle of the night, the smells, the god-awful screeching that makes your fucking ears bleed...

That basically killed any desire I ever had to have kids right then and there.  Just, nope.  Not dealin' w/ that shit for a minute.

Thankfully, my wife's of the same mind as I, which makes shit a whoooooole lot easier.  Especially since I'm also painfully awkward around children and really have no fucking clue what to do w/ 'em.  I'd suck monkey nuts as a dad, and kids deserve better'n that.

It's a good thing to know and figure out early as ya can because the very, very first thing a child should be is wanted.  Look out the window and you'll see what ya get when children are unwanted.  And they'll know.  They always know.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 3
    #29678067 -

Tri said:
storm of anxiety




I have come to believe it's a function of our societies / states to keep us in constant anxiety. People who are anxious accept more bs. They are more willing to fight other have-nots over resources they deem scarce. They feel a need for solutions that allows politicians to thrive.

Shit at work sucks and has real life consequences. Not trying to talk down your experience. But most of our fears revolve around nothing. We live 'better' lives than the kings of old. Potable water comes from the tap. Heated water even. We take things for granted that were extreme luxuries only decades ago. Our societies are so rich you can literally eat from the trashcan every day.


Belintaf said:
That’s really beautiful, Churp. Truly.

I'll take this opportunity to share my situation...

My partner and I have been together for 11 years — we're both itinerant street performers. Both of us have ideals that are usually hard to swallow for most of society (obviously). And both of us will probably be the end of the line for our genetics...

It's not that I don't want to have kids, because in my view, it's the only biological reason for the existence of the human species. But — it's almost impossible for us to even consider it with our lifestyle.

When I say itinerant, I mean "backpacking". I don't want a camper van, I don't want a caravan — and I don't want to settle down either. Spending one year in one place out of necessity — after 10 years of grinding — I can still stomach it, but...

I don't want to settle down for years. Kids require a certain stability, schooling (here it's compulsory from 6 to 16, which is another very delicate topic), a real roof over their heads — not tents, not cheap-ass brothel motels, a little safe bubble — not bohemian uncertainty.

We're at a really tough crossroads. We live a life that fulfills us, but if we consider becoming parents, it means radically changing our whole lives. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. And we wouldn't want to be bitter parents living a life we don't resonate with, just to have offspring — that's no good for the little ones.

It's a real mess. :ohwell:



That's really tough, indeed. Incommensurable experiences... For me, giving up a semi-nomadic lifestyle was one of the hardest things about becoming a parent.

What's your partner's position on all this?

Totally agree with you, kids need stability and predictability. And young parents tend to feel this urge for stability too...
Most of the kids I know that live lives going from squat to squat, or festival to festival, clearly seem to suffer from it. Even some of my friends, with expat parents who moved wherever their career dictated (talk about non-bohemian drifters), suffered from that (parent-centric) lifestyle. Still unable to build long-term relationships, or maintain long-term friendships etc. So I'd dare to say a sessile life is, well not a sine qua non, but something hovering just below that.

How good are you at making decisions and not looking back?

Edit: also, I wholeheartedly agree with what LadysKnight says.


--------------------
Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

Edited by Churpee Choozle (09/25/26 10:35 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle] * 5
    #29678075 -

I always wanted kids but when I was in my twenties I was by no means responsible enough to anything consider it. I had no absolutely no way to take care of them or myself even. I was a drug addict.(heroin)

I was in prison when my son was born. I didn't even really know about him  for the first year or see him for the first two years...

my now wife hadn't decided if she was even gonna give me the opportunity. Because I obviously needed to change.

When I did find out about him.  my world completely changed and so did i.  I was 24 years old and understood that my life would never be the same now that I had an autistic child that needed my attention and love. 

And I'm just so grateful for it because if it weren't for that I wouldn't be here today. Seriously the amount of growth and maturity and happiness that came from all of my time and attention being put on such a special little person.

It just left no more time for all the other bullshit that had gotten me to where I was at that point in life.

Fast forward 11 years. I'm 14 years sober. With two children that I always wanted and never ever thought I'd actually be able to have. And living my best life with the love of my life.


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 4
    #29678091 -

My realest confession is that I have more or less the same beliefs as churp, ladysknight, and others but find myself living that cubicle consumer kids-in-daycare life. My wife and I never would have gone for the nomad life, but maybe the off grid homestead life. But the jokes on us because we lacked the conviction to pull it off. We both come from families of normies who we love and didn’t want to be hours and hours away from them. Big, big trade off and I guess I’ll probably never know if it was the right choice. I just hope I can instill a healthy skepticism of consumer culture and media bullshit in my kids. And maybe move to the woods or a farm a little farther down the line.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 4
    #29678092 -

That's a fucking awesome story Hippie! Glad you've got your shit on track! And your partner allowed you the chance to prove your worth as a parent. I can imagine that was a tough decision for her, too. She clearly did the right thing.

I had kind of the opposite, never wanted kids. And I always had rationale enough: the world is an ashtray, overpopulation is a real thing, I don't feel any urge to be responsible for someone else etc etc. Then I met this girl with a very outspoken desire for kids. We had all the chemistry, but I really didn't want kids. Decided to trip on it (I always trip before making important decisions). Took a lot of acid under the full moon. And for the first time unravelled the emotions behind my rational 'no'. Turned out I was just really afraid to lose a child like my parents did. The thought of having to carry around my own dead child made me so upset that I rationally walled off the entire thing in my head. (Sorry if this is triggering to you, Astro).

Anyway I spent a whole night thinking and writing and changed my whole perspective. No one in my family or friend group believed me when I told them my conclusions. Never looked back. Best decision I ever made.


--------------------
Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle] * 5
    #29678101 -

Yea you're not wrong..

My wife and I have lost so many children.

Getting through this first year is extremely hard.    I think when we get past a yr we'll stop worring about her. 

The possibility of s.i.d.s goes down to like 3 % after the 6 months mark.

Everything's been so perfect up to this point so I think she'll be okay.

but you know we're also extremely Shell Shocked from being thru all the  experiences the last few years of trying for her..its hard to let our guard down.


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 2
    #29678103 -

Guys, you're all awesome, thank you.

Churpee Choozle said:
What's your partner's position on all this?


She had her own little crisis a few years back, which is precisely what made her take action. The truth is we share pretty much the same outlook, and that's probably why we're still together.

Churpee Choozle said:
How good are you at making decisions and not looking back?


Hehe, yeah, it's one of the few things I'm actually really good at in this life.

Churpee Choozle said:
Most of the kids I know that live lives going from squat to squat, or festival to festival, clearly seem to suffer from it. Even some of my friends, with expat parents who moved wherever their career dictated (talk about non-bohemian drifters), suffered from that (parent-centric) lifestyle. Still unable to build long-term relationships, or maintain long-term friendships etc.



I see we've noticed similar situations in our own surroundings. And you're completely right. It was probably one of the factors that made me seriously rethink things too.

callmehippie said:
Also kids aren't for everybody. And that's perfectly fine. There are other ways to be happy and a good person. Kids are just a really good one.


And I totally agree that having kids might not be for everyone. I think being a good parent and knowing how to balance something so delicate in the world we live in today — is a true art form.

Hugs :heart:


--------------------
"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 10
    #29678156 -

My wife was injured at work when my son was 3. Permanently disabled from bilateral CRPS.

The next 10 years were spent fighting Workers comp for basic care, dealing with her Oxy addiction after her doctor cut her off cold-turkey with no support, multiple hospital visits to convince a doctor that even though she was an addict something was wrong, eventually she turned yellow in front of a nurse just hours before being released, gallbladder out, still no treatment for pain.

I was working for $8 an hour supporting the three of us while handling all parenting and household duties.

One Christmas was spent in the hospital. The nurses moved her to the farthest section of the hospital so they wouldn't hear her scream.

I ended up selling coke so I could stay home and afford to live. Plus I was burnt out AF. That eventually killed my empathy for strangers.

Eventually we found a really good addiction doctor. He helped both of us get clean and had some non-addicitve medications that helped her a bit.

One kick from a cow hoof changed all three of our lives overnight.

Thankfully, mushrooms seems to be help and she's slowly getting a semblance of her life back.

My son was the real victim in all this. We had no support, and he suffered.

I'm putting all my effort now into launching him into adulthood. I didn't have that. I was kicked out at 18.

He's 20 now and has the freedom to be an actual 20 year old. I love hearing about all his adventures.


--------------------
I've got skills, they don't know where to use me
I'm like the best dressed guy at the nude beach
Nice to meet you!

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PuffM4gicDr4gon] * 5
    #29678202 -

Fuck, reading snippets of your stories, I really admire the courage, the balls, and the strength of character you all have. Hats off to you... :hatsoff:

I know we all have our own turbulent lives, but I also realize I just get used to my own shit — once it becomes my reality, I don't see it as such a big deal anymore. But then I read about the situations you've faced and somehow overcome, things that have hardened you, and I honestly don't know if I could go through that myself — I don't know if I'd be strong enough.

The one thing I see is that behind every single story, there’s a purpose. The purpose. Maybe the most important ingredient of all — and it teaches me the fucking importance of taking care of that purpose, whatever it may be.

And I want to apologize to all of you, because whether due to my ignorance, my optimism, or my own blindness — ever since I got here, I think I jumped to conclusions and put my foot in my mouth a few times.

The more time I spend here, the more I read — the more respect and admiration I have for those of you who are here. You are the real deal.

I hope I can contribute something during my stay here — because I almost feel in debt for everything I'm receiving.

Count on me for whatever is within my power.

(I'm completely sober, I haven't done any drugs today — just to be clear)

A fucking big hug to all of you :hug:


--------------------
"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 2
    #29678240 -

So much here that resonates with my heart about kids, and it was extremely edifying reading through it all. There’s a lot of real wisdom in here.

Having my kids got me into recovery from alcoholism, and I work nights now (opposite my wife) so we can make ends meet on a very modest life and still be with them instead of dumping paychecks into daycare. I’m exhausted to the bone some days, but I believe I'm doing the right thing for our specific family and situation.

Everyone’s different, and the experience of raising another soul into independence and awareness truly is transformative no matter how you choose to tackle it.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 4
    #29678264 -

the thing with kids is that for decades it used to be a social mandate. Like it was implied that it was what an adult had to do. The oldschool kind of lifestyle, the dad working his ass off, the mom like an octopus at home doing a million things a day to keep the kid fed, educated, clean and happy. While doing household chores and cooking a feed for when the dad shows up after a long shift.

Even being single as an adult was frown upon. No traditional lifestlye, no fit in society.

I honestly think that was a big load of crap.

Luckily we seem to be moving past that nonesense, at least in occidental countries. I feel like people are more free to chose what to do with their lives now. Lots of people not having kids gives those who don´t want kids a sense of relief. Not being the only one, not being the weirdo.

And I respect those who don´t want kids, I think its a mature and responsible decision. Why would you pop kids like Mentos out of a pack if you maturely think you are not going to be up for the task?

Some people breed like rabbits just to get the social benefit (subsidy). That is fucked up. Because I can tell you those kids won´t be well look after, won´t have clean dry clothes on a daily, and probably won´t be properly nourished.

Anything that frees us gives us power. Moving on from the controlling social mandate that you HAD to have kids to earn your hit of status has to be a revolution on itself.

Do whatever you want, not what your nosey neighbours think you should be doing.


In my personal experience, Im on my mid 30s and no kids. I do not want any at this stage. I can provide for myself and take care of myself but a newborn sounds terrifying. Also I embrace me freedom, its my biggest asset. Anything that compromises it sounds like a threat.

Yeah a kid would make me grow, feel next level love, make me a better person. But that comes with a level of compromise and dedication that I am not sure I am willing to commit to.

The thought of being a bad or an average parent haunts me and knowing how hard I am on myself, I would never forgive me if for whatever circumstances I end up being a shitty parent.

Plus, whenever I buy candy, they are all for me 🤣. jk jk


--------------------
How about the racist, sexist, phobia soup we've all been drowning in because of him? And I'm not just talking about Jesus. I'm talking about all organized religion - exclusive groups created to manage control, a dealer getting people hooked on the drug of hope, his followers nothing but addicts who want their hit of bullshit to keep their - their dopamine of ignorance, addicts afraid to believe the truth - that there is no order, there's no power, that all religions are just metastasizing mind worms meant to divide us so it's easier to rule us by the charlatans that want to run us.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 2
    #29678328 -



--------------------

The Shroomery Manual
Wanna Play?
Dream Interpretation
GC’s Ayahuasca Recipe
Free Therapy

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 1
    #29678336 -

Ok since I killed the mood in here, I guess it's up to me to bring it back

Any love for Professor Elemental?







If not, then you need a whimsy transfusion


--------------------
I've got skills, they don't know where to use me
I'm like the best dressed guy at the nude beach
Nice to meet you!

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PuffM4gicDr4gon] * 2
    #29678337 -

I was just posting that picture because that's beef extreme's girlfriend's avatar. I was not expecting to see it when I was getting a Friday evening coffee.


--------------------

The Shroomery Manual
Wanna Play?
Dream Interpretation
GC’s Ayahuasca Recipe
Free Therapy

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 2
    #29678353 -

I confess that the instrumental half of NOFX's latest album hit me right in the feels

:feelsgoodman:


--------------------





Pasteurizing Straw with Hydrated Lime
Swiss Cheese Fruiting Chamber

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Tri] * 1
    #29678437 -

так так так
It's time for alternative investments.
Stuck stuck

Ocean.

Yesterday was quiet. I'm a different book? On another page?

Bye bye bye. Everything must go.

Hello,

🦆 away

Time passes, hi, hi, hello

Everything takes time. Fall in line.


Understand? Promise?


--------------------
🌾💮🫘🥖

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: hellofresh] * 9
    #29678475 -

Hey all hope everyone is doing good. De wormed the puppies today. Gonna make a toque tub in a bit. Past few days I've been pretty bummed out knowing I'm gonna have to do some time and leave my baby girl. My baby mom leaves the rehab in two weeks so my daughter will at least get to be back with her mom but the issue with that is I can't trust her anymore and I know her new baby dad's gonna be around my daughter while I'm gone. I haven't had the motivation to work out lately or do anything and it's been getting to me. Being a single father is hard and I don't really have any friends to vent to either. Just wanted to vent.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Awfullotofshrooms]
    #29678503 -

Fuck that sounds rough. You seem chill from here so you are in company? Are the vibes off with the dude? How much time?


--------------------
I call them Huskies cause they Mush!


The Official Wild Cubensis Thread
Instant Pot Agar
Gnocchi Water Agar
Let's Talk Cowtek

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Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Myyco.com Isolated Cubensis Liquid Culture For Sale   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck   Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation
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