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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: hidingbush]
    #29625347 -

didnt finish paying for the gravestone i guess?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PanSiyan] * 1
    #29625355 -

So Anyway said:
Gilmour Hendrix said:
Deal with it like an adult. Ok. Got it. I should probably write that down so I don't forget.


Yea, it's like if youre depressed, have you tried just not being depressed? Duh

:mentos:


Mind you... being depressed isn't the same as depression.


--------------------
Agar Plates and Removing Hidden Contaminants - A Visual Notebook
Recognizing Contamination in Grain Jars - A Visual Notebook
Contaminated Condiment Cup Cleanup v1.0

Green Cap Pheno Isolation

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: DV8DUG] * 6
    #29625383 -

I'm trying to improve my quality of life between my ears. I have a good job and have built my "estate" in a relatively short amount of time. I do remember how fortunate I am and all of the lucky breaks I've had over the years. My initial question was to try to hear others perspectives or experiences so that I/we can learn something. That's one thing that makes our community special. We can ask questions and receive interesting points back to grow on. I get through each day fine, in the grand scope of it all. However, there is room to improve. Improving, building, growing is what drives me. I feel like I should always try to be a little better than I was the day before. Now, some of my thoughs or tendencies should be examined. I have specific "hang-ups" that are a counter to this journey of mine that focuses on self development or improvement. Thank you all for your individual contributions to the conversation we have started. From what I can see, I should face some of the more difficult things I have been through since I have never openly examined them. CPTSD is a strong possibility from what I gather. I was told I had BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in my early 20s but the assessment, I feel, was half-assed. Either way, I took what I learned about it and made progress toward the light. I'm not sure that BPD is accurate for me. I'll dig into the CPTSD thing to see what I can learn then use that info to combat whatever internal workings in me that are undesirable. You old heads remember how I was when I first came here. I'd like to get back to feeling that way. Again, thank you guys.

:loveheart:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 5
    #29625393 -

Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you have solid self-awareness, to recognize these things within yourself; that's a really good start. Desiring and venturing to better one's self, whether strictly on one's own or by also seeking and integrating the help of others is a noble pursuit. The mind is a powerful thing and here's the good news: you get to operate one! It aint easy though and the user manual is lacking. However, figuring it out can be fun & rewarding. Best of luck on your journey bud


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So anyway, uh...

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: So Anyway] * 6
    #29625468 -

For some, happiness will always be that carrot on a stick. Something in the future to strive for, always just out of reach.

For me, I have decided happiness is now. It is the pursuit of the carrot.


--------------------
It's so easy to laugh
it's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be
gentle and kind
-the smiths

Your ego is your nemesis.
Seek the truth tirelessly,
Even at the cost of your own sanity.
-fiddle_head

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PanSiyan] * 8
    #29625483 -

PanSiyan said:
Characterizing someone simply because of their age is not wise. People come from all different situations and backgrounds throughout all of history. Thats like me calling u Samoan because ur name is tropical. I am content. Ill not go into it again. It took me a long time to grow the F up and realize that no one cares about my anecdotal feelings.  You have to find ur own 'happiness' or 'contentment' unless u have been hand fed it for free your whole life. If that happens it will be hard to ever be satisfied. Cuz unless ur a drop dead knockout beauty up until u die, that shit stops at some point.
So, ya, I'm content. But not because of my age. Because Ive made every dumb mistake someone can make in life and Im still here, in one piece. There are so many times I should have died that I didnt. People always remember the bad shit cuz u have to for next time it may happen. Never the great things that happen everyday. Cuz life mostly goes the way we want it. We only notice when it doesnt. It could be SOOO much worse than being relatively poor in America.


So prescriptive "one size fits all" characterizations aren't wise?  Hmm.. interesting concept. 

So many words and yet, you say very little.  Same message over and over in all your "posts":  "put your big boy pants on." The ol "pull yourself up by your boot-straps" gag again, is it?


So, nobody cares about your "anecdotal feelings" but you think we care about your anecdotal feelings enough to post them over and over?  Interesting concept, 'captain me-planet'.  Every word out of your mouth smacks of an air of self importance; devoid of compassion. 

For all this "growing the fuck up" youve allegedly done, you dont seem to be able to read a room for shit. 

You have no clue who youre talking to.  You stand in a room of combat vets and survivors of violent crime.  Some of us watched our best buds blown apart by roadside bombs.  Some of us, gutted like a fish with a hunting knife for mere amusement.  Some of us wouldnt be here without--what did you call them?--Clowns, wasn't it?

Since we're on the subject of doling out unsolicited advice, let me give you a bit:

Learn to read a room.  Learn to see past your own nose.  Learn, oh grown-up big-boy, that manners dont cost a thing and compassion pays dividends.  Learn, that everyone is fighting a battle you couldnt possibly understand.  Learn, tough-guy,  that true happiness isnt all about you.  Thats vanity. 

learn to think before you speak.  Grow the fuck up.




@Gil.  Sorry about that my dude.  Please know that ive always loved your posts and i always look forward to hearing from you.  Youve been a ray of sunshine in the booth for years now and you are loved and celebrated here.  Please know that you have a friend in me for life and i alwys have a little extra room in my bag to carry a couple stones for my friends.  Love you dude.  You'll get things sorted out eventually.  Its never a linear progression.


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Need a lift?

Edited by BeefExtreme (07/16/26 07:19 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 3
    #29625492 -

Sorry to barge in with random thoughts.

Lol
I was just reading a book that's speaking about ADHD. Then I googled is "ADHD" even real. Then I lost an hour to a rabbit hole and somehow found myself looking at swimsuits for the right body

Thank you world for proving my denialism. Lol
Sorry I don't mean to memeify ADHD. Just funny when stuff like that happens.

I hope that's not too off topic I like this chat pls don't hate me lol


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: ellamush]
    #29625494 -

And sorry that was typed out completely out of context as I haven't read the last 40 posts on here. Erm


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: DV8DUG]
    #29625495 -

DV8DUG said:
So Anyway said:
Gilmour Hendrix said:
Deal with it like an adult. Ok. Got it. I should probably write that down so I don't forget.


Yea, it's like if youre depressed, have you tried just not being depressed? Duh

:mentos:


Mind you... being depressed isn't the same as depression.


This is a good thing to remember. I myself beat myself up when I have a low day or a shutdown. But it's not the same as depression. (And in any case, a depressive episode or a short low mood is not a time to go beat yourself up)

Anyway love to y'all


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PanSiyan]
    #29625518 -

PanSiyan said:
I don't know everything. I dont know HOW fucked up he is or were. I do know that sitting in a room overpaying some clown with a shit psychiatry or psychology degree to listen to u whine for an hour is a useless scam. .


I remember feeling the same way up to my first suicide attempt.


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Favorite Teks

  ]

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: ellamush] * 2
    #29625520 -

BeefExtreme said:
So prescriptive "one size fits all" characterizations aren't wise?  Hmm.. interesting concept. 

So many words and yet, you say very little.  Same message over and over in all your "posts":  "put your big boy pants on." The ol "pull yourself up by your boot-straps" gag again, is it?


So, nobody cares about your "anecdotal feelings" but you think we care about your anecdotal feelings enough to post them over and over?  Interesting concept, 'captain me-planet'.  Every word out of your mouth smacks of an air of self importance; devoid of compassion. 



Dude it's so fucking weird, I haven't seen anything this unhealthy and ignorant in a year of lurking and a soon as I register an account, I run into this guy who's either never heard of empathy or has actively decided that it's not something he needs in his life. Took a look at his posts and in another he's asking for advice while saying he'll ignore it, which was the deciding factor to place him on ignore, as there is probably not much of value. It really seems like he has placed his mind in an opaque box of his own creation. I've never met a shroomer without empathy so this is wild to me. As if to validate my decision, he managed to get ignored by someone else inside of making ~60 posts.

Alright enough of that. Thanks for your contributions here Beef, your information has been wildly helpful for me.

ellamush said:
I was just reading a book that's speaking about ADHD. Then I googled is "ADHD" even real. Then I lost an hour to a rabbit hole and somehow found myself looking at swimsuits for the right body

Thank you world for proving my denialism. Lol
Sorry I don't mean to memeify ADHD. Just funny when stuff like that happens.



Yeah everyone's brain works differently. If it works differently enough, one can describe those differences. If there are enough brains with that sort of collection of differences, it can save some time to put a label on it.

Speaking as someone who got diagnosed early with ADHD, went on meds, went off meds for a long time, learned a bunch of coping skills, and then recently got medicated again, well into adulthood: living with ADHD is like playing life on hard mode. If you have the resources and ability, I would recommend seeking a doctors advice and potential diagnosis. It's quite literally life changing if you can get the proper meds dialed in. Given how flawed and warped the mirror of introspection can be, it is impossible to trust a self diagnosis. I wish you all the best.


--------------------
Mycology is my current hyperfixation
Uncommunicated expectations are just premeditated resentments.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Mistakes] * 3
    #29625548 -

Boomers dude. The single most emotionally unintelligent generation in history of the Earth.


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Need a lift?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 7
    #29625557 -

I'ma be real here.

I understand the sentiment and where it comes from, but I'm not a fan of the broad brush. "Boomer" is a huge cohort of people from all walks of life, and there's plenty of self-absorbed entitled assholes among my own Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. And politically speaking, I'm more scared of the "conservative" types that are my age or younger than I am of people in their 70's who've mostly just been sold a bill of goods. Gen Alpha is about the only ray of hopeful light I can see right now.

I dunno. Maybe I just haven't spent enough time around "those" boomers, because of where I grew up and have lived. I just onow that I'd like to see fewer random generalizations made based on when someone was born, and more based on the principles of class warfare.

Anyway, sorry, had to chime in on that. It's kind of a pet peeve of mine. Honestly deep down, the whole division of people into generations rubs me the wrong way. Especially because I feel like I have so little in common with most people my age, and have watched them contribute to environmental destruction and the downfall of society in all the same ways that a lot of boomers did. But, like, on steroids. McMansion-and-Escalade dipshits with more money than sense.

Anyway, being real, shrooms are awesome but I don't think there's really anyone who gets super into them who doesn't have psychological issues. In the same way that non-diabetics aren't gonna hang out on an insulin forum. So, yeah. We're all at leat a little nuts here, and if you can't match Anne Halonium's ignore count then you're pulling rookie numbers and not nearly as annoying as you think you are.

Edited by B Traven (07/16/26 10:08 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: B Traven] * 2
    #29625566 -

I hear you dude. To  Be honest I just used my biggest paintbrush because I could tell it was bothering him lol

I would be nothing without the boomer mentors I've had in my life


--------------------
Need a lift?

Edited by BeefExtreme (07/16/26 10:28 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme]
    #29625568 -

Hahaha fair enough.


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: B Traven]
    #29625571 -

Mario Paint was an amazing game. Until you clicked on the “fill all” feature and watched something get wrecked


--------------------
Favorite Teks

  ]

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs] * 2
    #29625575 -

BeefExtreme said:
Boomers dude. The single most emotionally unintelligent generation in history of the Earth.


Don't forget it's also a ton of gen x too.
Which are 50-61 right now


--------------------
Everything you need in one spot.

My Q&A thread. Ask me questions here rather than in Private Message
Bod's chat thread

5g a day keeps the 5g away

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PanSiyan] * 3
    #29625582 -

PanSiyan said:
Characterizing someone simply because of their age is not wise. People come from all different situations and backgrounds throughout all of history. Thats like me calling u Samoan because ur name is tropical. I am content. Ill not go into it again. It took me a long time to grow the F up and realize that no one cares about my anecdotal feelings.  You have to find ur own 'happiness' or 'contentment' unless u have been hand fed it for free your whole life. If that happens it will be hard to ever be satisfied. Cuz unless ur a drop dead knockout beauty up until u die, that shit stops at some point.
So, ya, I'm content. But not because of my age. Because Ive made every dumb mistake someone can make in life and Im still here, in one piece. There are so many times I should have died that I didnt. People always remember the bad shit cuz u have to for next time it may happen. Never the great things that happen everyday. Cuz life mostly goes the way we want it. We only notice when it doesnt. It could be SOOO much worse than being relatively poor in America.


We can all look at this differently, but for me I look at it purely though how I like to troubleshoot problems. I like to try to understand the root cause, the progression, and how things manifest themselves. So instead of playing whack-a-mole some of us prefer to look into evidence based problem solving and exploration.

Coming to a level of understanding of your personal issues through deep introspection, working with trained professionals, or by using resources created by trained professionals is the best way to address it for most people. Hardening the F up doesn't solve the problem, you can grow over it or ignore it but it's still there

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Zef] * 3
    #29625628 -

It's hard accepting that the progress is going to be slow regardless of how motivated people get. It's just the way things are and it's very frustrating when you've known that stuff needed to change since you were young and now it's still being talked about.

It's a sign of progress though that everyone's talking about it. Not just some people anymore.


--------------------

The Shroomery Manual
Wanna Play?
Dream Interpretation
GC’s Ayahuasca Recipe
Free Therapy

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 3
    #29625639 -

I'll agree on that, 10 years ago I caught a lot of flack for trying to be genuine and vulnerable. The same people who would give me shit back then are mostly divorced or their kids won't talk to them, or their friends have started a new group chat without them, etc.

Change isn't easy, it does not happen from a place of comfort,  and it does not occur without effort and intention.


--------------------
Mycology is my current hyperfixation
Uncommunicated expectations are just premeditated resentments.

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