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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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First solo trip was depressing
    #25626653 -

Last Friday I was pretty hyped to finally trip alone at my place because after 10+ trips I have never experienced it all on my own with no distractions. I'm not here to give a trip report but I ate 3.5g and you guys probably know how that goes, but it is just the feelings after that have me messed up. Nothing crazy happened on the trip, I just feel slightly depressed. I start questioning everything I'm doing and just ask myself, Why? I just feel like I hit a roadblock after that trip. The trip itself was just lonely and I don't think I was prepared for that feeling of extreme loneliness. There was no anxiety or scary moments during the trip, it was just lonely.

Has anyone else had a similar experience to me? I'm thinking if I tripped again with good friends it would fix the problem.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: WhiteVeil]
    #25626656 -

Yes I believe I'd had something like that

Answer the questions honestly.

Why are you doing what you're doing?


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Just a fool on the hill.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: pineninja]
    #25626658 -

pineninja said:
Yes I believe I'd had something like that

Answer the questions honestly.

Why are you doing what you're doing?


I honestly don't know. Life just feels like a grind right now and I guess the unknown of the future has me feeling very uneasy.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: WhiteVeil]
    #25626659 -

Have you faced that feeling before or just put it aside?
No glasshouses here btw.


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Just a fool on the hill.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: pineninja]
    #25626681 -

pineninja said:
Have you faced that feeling before or just put it aside?
No glasshouses here btw.


I put it aside for a while, now it is just too close to ignore.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: WhiteVeil]
    #25626686 -

So don't.


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Just a fool on the hill.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: pineninja]
    #25626688 -

Pretty hefty dose there bud.

Sounds like you got lost in thought, causing no afterglow, just a series of unanswered questions. Some people cant solo trip due to this, so the very fact that you solo tripped, caused a insecurity that you needed friends to have a good trip, when in reality, you didnt.


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Official:
Facemelter
HyperspaceTraveller
NostalgicGamer

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: Chakanooga]
    #25626690 -

Chakanooga said:
Pretty hefty dose there bud.

Sounds like you got lost in thought, causing no afterglow, just a series of unanswered questions. Some people cant solo trip due to this, so the very fact that you solo tripped, caused a insecurity that you needed friends to have a good trip, when in reality, you didnt.


I definitely learned a lot more about myself. Like how much I appreciate all my friends and family. Towards the end, I actually broke down and cried because I just realized I don't go visit my parents as often as I should. I just felt like a selfish dickhead for it.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: WhiteVeil]
    #25626713 -

WhiteVeil said:
Chakanooga said:
Pretty hefty dose there bud.

Sounds like you got lost in thought, causing no afterglow, just a series of unanswered questions. Some people cant solo trip due to this, so the very fact that you solo tripped, caused a insecurity that you needed friends to have a good trip, when in reality, you didnt.


I definitely learned a lot more about myself. Like how much I appreciate all my friends and family. Towards the end, I actually broke down and cried because I just realized I don't go visit my parents as often as I should. I just felt like a selfish dickhead for it.



Yeah and some quality ego loss, and noticing the voids and connections missing in your life, keep meditating on your trip but don't try to out think it and Keep a strong mind homie.
Some times it takes me a few days to come back to being "Me" and fully grasping some of what spawned thoughts or ideas, and releases of emotions.
Have a safe expanding :cloud9:


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:volcano: Thanks too all :volcano:
        Best Tek List, click it

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: XnMe]
    #25626720 -

Do you regret tripping?


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:death: Fumbling in existance :wizard:

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: hejAdig999]
    #25626754 -

Sounds to me like it forced you to accept certain aspects of your self/life that you are not happy with or want to improve. Make those changes, see your parents more, tell them you love them. 


As far as solo dosing, I've had my deepest experiences alone and I wouldn't change that.


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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: seldom seen]
    #25626761 -

seldom seen said:
As far as solo dosing, I've had my deepest experiences alone and I wouldn't change that.


Same here


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:volcano: Thanks too all :volcano:
        Best Tek List, click it

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: XnMe]
    #25626870 -

I think you went into the trip with the "tripping solo" mindset/idea which took over you whole trip with a feeling of loneliness. Any feeling can get greatly exaggerated and even take over a whole trip.

What I'd do is use this opportunity to think about why did it bother you so much. And perhaps try to learn to be alone. It is a pretty useful skill :wink:


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Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: Inflaton]
    #25626883 -

Used to eat 2.5grams and a hour later eat a g  cause it helps with coming down slower. Used to love smoking opium on the way down too. It's a drug, you get high, you come down. The higher you fly, the lower you sink.


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Stop talking about being enlighten. Crybabies, bitches, and people worried about ratings can never reach enlightenment!  NEVER!

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: WhiteVeil]
    #25626915 -

Fix the problem?

I dunno. Sounds like the problem is being fixed.

Loneliness is a kind of natural state for lots of people. You mention that you don’t stay in contact with your family? What about your friends, how many are actual friends vs. people you hang around?

You mention everything feeling like a grind and apprehension about the future. Also, normal feelings for human beings.

Is your work something that you love? Is it time to try something different?

The future is scary, you don’t know what could happen, no one does.

I think a lot of times, we ignore these types of feelings. But, those feelings need to be acknowledged and integrated too. That’s what solo tripping can help with, you get to see things you wouldn’t be able to see with others around.

Don’t try to fix stuff so quickly, maybe wait several weeks before tripping again, just sit with the more pronounced thoughts and feelings that came up, test out different interpretations of those thoughts and feelings.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: Shr00mEater]
    #25626936 -

I was having exactly the same experience practically every trip a few months ago - in the end I think your trying to tell yourself something via the mushrooms, for me it was about my respect of the medecine (and myself), once I set some solid intentions and started to actively enjoy where i am in life, things have started to fit in to place, that and an ayahuasca ceremony broke through what the mushrooms were showing me.

Sometimes they can intensify the ennui, but definitely for a reason.


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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: Chakanooga] * 1
    #25626951 -

Chakanooga said:
Pretty hefty dose there bud.

Sounds like you got lost in thought, causing no afterglow, just a series of unanswered questions. Some people cant solo trip due to this, so the very fact that you solo tripped, caused a insecurity that you needed friends to have a good trip, when in reality, you didnt.


This will happen any time I take mushrooms and don’t have an awesome deep intense experience, I’ll come out of the experience worse than I went into it.

Where as if I did have an awesome intense deep experience, the comedown and next day will have this awesome afterglow.


So lemme ask you this, why did you solo trip? If it wasn’t to go extremely deep into your mind than there’s no point in solo tripping and one will only want to do it with friends, as it seems you are.


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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: Piaseski]
    #25626953 -

Yeah but usually for me any negative feelings are at the beginning followed by feeling amazing as fuck on the come down.

Mushrooms for me it's usually like they search me out, see what's wrong with me, tell me everything wrong, then they're like ok, now enjoy, and then it's beautiful.

As mentioned, you have to face and accept whatever you experience, think, feel, then once you do you get past it and move on.

Don't beat yourself up or dwell on it too hard, just be aware of it. Use it to grow.

I normally don't feel lonely on the come down with mushrooms, I usually feel amazing and aa if I would be find alone for the rest of my life, I have felt that way on the come down of lsd though, So i do know how you feel I believe.

You're not alone :shrug:

Being alone is useful, you gotta learn to enjoy your own company.

Sometimes our only option is being with ones self.

Those are perfect times to do things like practice self expression.

Write, make art, reading or just do activities you enjoy alone.

Occupy yourself so you aren't focusing on "I'm alone", but at the same time it's useful to feel and face, and can give us a deeper appreciation for when we aren't alone.

Relaxing music and meditation is also great on the come down. Listen to relaxing meditative music and do your own yoga. Man I love mushrooms...


--------------------
Within You , Without You


:mushroom2::levitate::mushroom2:

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: Inflaton]
    #25627428 -

hejAdig999 said:
Do you regret tripping?


No, but I think I might be to the point where it feels like I am not getting as much out of it anymore. Which sucks cause I love the experience 95% of the time.
seldom seen said:
Sounds to me like it forced you to accept certain aspects of your self/life that you are not happy with or want to improve. Make those changes, see your parents more, tell them you love them. 


As far as solo dosing, I've had my deepest experiences alone and I wouldn't change that.


It turned out weird honestly, I think I changed for the better, but I feel worse. It is just weird.
Inflaton said:
I think you went into the trip with the "tripping solo" mindset/idea which took over you whole trip with a feeling of loneliness. Any feeling can get greatly exaggerated and even take over a whole trip.

What I'd do is use this opportunity to think about why did it bother you so much. And perhaps try to learn to be alone. It is a pretty useful skill :wink:


I still have a lot of questions to answer after this one man. The alone part is just a portion.

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Re: First solo trip was depressing [Re: WhiteVeil]
    #25627553 -

Were you looking to have an intense out of body sort of experience? If not this is why it went the way it did. There’s no point in solo tripping if you’re not looking for that kind of experience.

And if you were looking for that kind of experience and it just didn’t happen, don’t let that get to you so much and up your dose.

But you took an eighth which is enough to have a decent experience, sooo I’m leaning towards the first option.


If you’ve always tripped with friends you’ve probably never had the chance to do this. But if you solo trip again, sit there, close your eyes, and pay attention to what you’re looking at. You will not be discouraged. I promise.


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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