Apollyphelion said:

Unfortunately, I can't transmit how profound realizing you need
this surgery to be happy is.

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Apollyphelion said:

I'm consulting with my Urologist Sept 11th
in order to get my super necessary neovagina.
After I made the appointment I spent the rest
of the day in a fog of reflection and self discovery.

I find surgery to be a fucking amazing thing

Any stories of elective or necessary surgeries
from the Shroomery?

How'd you feel when you woke up?
What was it for?
How was the Hospital food?

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Hospital food is awful.

Surgery is among the worst feelings in the world to me
tonsil removal and gallstones
the whole idea of being cut open, medically entered and having things remove
is distressing to even reflect on at all
despite lack of consciousness

with that said, transitional surgery when ruminated on
gives me hope in looking toward the future
but still looking at many more months (years maybe?) of therapy
before it becomes available as an actual option for me
so maybe my lack of fear is tied to the prospect being so distant rather than comforting


congratulations on getting things scheduled tho
please do keep us updated
live pretty far from any major city center, and not particularly social online
so my interactions with other trans individuals are comparatively limited
and quite cherished, especially in regards to such a formative experience to go through

best wishes with the stress until then tho

Asante said:

...
Take a pictorial of the before and after, not for us but for you, as a memento for your transformation.

I hope you won't get remorse.
...

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This may not be the best comparison,
as you are able to accomplish your task through hard work and dedication,
but maybe picture if getting to your desired/healthy weight
was only obtainable through surgery

if you could wake up tomorrow as the weight you desire
would you be as set on the idea of pictorial mementos?
or is that more an affair of continued motivation, and demonstrating progress to yourself?

Am not in Apolly's head, so can only provide my outside input
but do not really desire a 'memento' from before transitioning
it has been a weight carried for a lifetime
and personally feel 'remorse' over not learning of and pursuing treatments earlier in my life

this may sound stupid
but really just want to get to a point where photos of me
are there to document my happiness in sharing experiences with people
rather than simply my presence at a point in time

we Shroomerites love you no matter your weight
and we know that you know that
and we are supportive in your pursuits as we know it will make you more happy
and you know we know that
about the best way for me to possibly make it relatable to you
my apologies to everyone who reads this post and simply thinks me stupid and insane

PartoftheSource said:

Apollyphelion said:

Unfortunately, I can't transmit how profound realizing you need
this surgery to be happy is.

---

So you aren't a fan of embracing acceptance to bring about happiness?

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Apollyphelion said:

...
So what I'm doing is I'm getting a Referral letter to speak with the surgeon.
TECHINCALLY, according to german law/ insurance reasons I still need 12 more months of therapy (you need 18 months total ) So the plan is the surgeon will give me a date, and by the time the date comes around, I'd have finished all the requirements. You wanna skype sometime, or are you too shy? :-)

Only things I'm worried about (as stated before, no on has died from the surgery, it is deemed safe and effective) is obviously losing clitoral sensitivity and having complications. The riskiest part of the surgery is actually creatign the space between your anus and bladder. I still think an imperfect vagina at the end of the day isbetter than my "perfect dick"
Also, oddly enough, my desire for my clothes to fit right is part of it
as well as I'm passing well enough where having a dick might get me murdered if someone finds out. If a guy tries to grab me by the pussy, I'm much safer if he actually finds one.

---

Am going to pass on Skype, chalk it up to being shy
but mostly just have not logged on it for years, never liked Skype and stuck with MSN as long as possible

can also relate to the clothing and fitting issues tho
QQ

the prospects of complications with surgery does not really frighten me too much
my issue with surgery more generally is stupid, convoluted and probably due to OCD
but effectively hold that violation of the body
is equivalent to violation of the entirety of my personal universe
making associations of surgical incisions and entry of needles, forceps and the like
tie to mental connections of the experience of being raped

bad history in hospitals
such that needles and gas masks have had me swing at nurses
and have to be restrained by multiple staff
like...total loss of control level of anxiety freakouts
never actually suffered any complications of surgery tho

have put off removal of my wisdom teeth
because they have to gas me and there is risk of hitting a nerve
and paralyzing a given half of my face


but do not really feel a similar sense of apprehension looking forward
despite the obvious functional implications of the surgery
as previously stated, not certain what to credit as to why