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Growing frustration and the pressure within
    #22719913 -

I have a growing frustration with my life in general, people are inconsiderate and selfish. I try to live my life guided by understanding and compassion. I TRY to have no expectations of anyone else in this life, but that is very hard. I have a pregnant wife due in a month who is normally more empathetic than myself, I've learned a lot from her. But lately she is understandably ego centric,I know this is a passing thing and I know it's a defence mechanism of pregnant brains, but God fucking damn it, my wife is pissing me off. When I'm told I don't care about her because I'm looking after our whole family and not exclusively her, is just getting to me.

I can usually rationalize myself past these feelings with understanding and empathy, but it's just not working.

I needed to vent this out. Sorry community for spilling my shit on you but you guys are the only people I talk to besides my wife.
O the woes of a recluse.


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: nuentoter]
    #22719990 -

I was watching a soap on TV the other day, and as is commong a woman in it is pregnant and the father is in a relationship with someone else. is amazing in these soaps how after only one fck they get preggers
But it was this scene where she said she finds it hard to slepp, and the baby is kicking inside her, and this made me think HOW weird it must be to have another human actually growing inside you!!! Have you ever deeply thought about it

And how strange and also frustrating it must be when trying to sleep and you cant just sleep like you usually do. It just blows my mind

And being real interested in mythology, and how patriarchal mythology involves a deep jealousy from males of women having this great power, and how in myth sos the males get god-like status they spin tales of MALE spirits birthing gods and humans, like Zeus, and Yahweh

And what is must be like to actually give birth. It is just awesome when you think about it. And yet intrinsic to patriarchal mythical thinking women have been SO disrespected, and so has the natural world which anciently was associated with a great birthing Mother

Get over your self-image that you are never selfish. This is BS. we ALL are both self-ish and self-less. It is a dynamic, and not a one versus the other phenomena

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: zzripz]
    #22720125 -

thank you, sometimes I need to hear things like this, it is hard sometimes to see the whole picture when your in it. You need to step back and view things from an all encompassing view, which is difficult at times when your in the situation.


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: nuentoter]
    #22720154 -

You have my sympathies man.  All I can say is that, regarding your wife, it sounds like it's just her hormonal hurricane lashing out at you.  I'm sure that will correct itself.  It's not easy being a daddy.  Just hang in there, it sounds like you're doing a good job.


--------------------
Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #22720442 -

I know it's temporary, it's out of character for her. Unfortunately that doesn't alleviate my frustration.

The same thing happened when we had our first boy, the difference was no kids, so my focus was 100% on my wife. Right now the misses can't run around after our 2 year old, can't do much around the house because of a complicated pregnancy. I'm ok with this and feel proud that I can pick up the slack and provide reassurance of stability to our lives.
These are the things I keep reminding myself of.

Breathe and clarity, breathe and clarity.


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina

Edited by nuentoter (12/31/15 10:49 AM)

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: nuentoter]
    #22720602 -

nuentoter said:
I have a growing frustration with my life in general, people are inconsiderate and selfish. I try to live my life guided by understanding and compassion. I TRY to have no expectations of anyone else in this life, but that is very hard. I have a pregnant wife due in a month who is normally more empathetic than myself, I've learned a lot from her. But lately she is understandably ego centric,I know this is a passing thing and I know it's a defence mechanism of pregnant brains, but God fucking damn it, my wife is pissing me off. When I'm told I don't care about her because I'm looking after our whole family and not exclusively her, is just getting to me.

I can usually rationalize myself past these feelings with understanding and empathy, but it's just not working.

I needed to vent this out. Sorry community for spilling my shit on you but you guys are the only people I talk to besides my wife.
O the woes of a recluse.


Do you think your wife has different goals than you? That she's not looking out for the family? Or is it possible that she is looking out for herself because she knows her well-being impacts more than just her now?

I've never been around a pregnant woman for long. That's why I ask. Imagining myself pregnant I'd probably be making every effort to reduce stress in my life, have abundant resources, and minimize physical exertion. Not for me but for the kiddo. And since our society isn't really geared towards providing an environment for those things by default, I'd have to get creative in finding ways to make one myself.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: nuentoter]
    #22720748 -

nuentoter said:
thank you, sometimes I need to hear things like this, it is hard sometimes to see the whole picture when your in it. You need to step back and view things from an all encompassing view, which is difficult at times when your in the situation.


Yes it is. Psychedelics also VERY much inspire seeing a bigger picture and or different perspectives of a situation. You also don't have to take big massive doses. Have you thought of doing that also?

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: zzripz]
    #22720840 -

I already have my next trip planned but only after the baby is here and the wife is healed up. Otherwise too much background worry.she's due in 23 days so I have to be available and "with it" at any moments notice from here on out.

I don't normally confide in others about anything, but right now I just need to vent and my wife would be an inappropriate person to vent these frustrations to. I firmly believe that all problems and solutions come from within, sometimes though they are hard to recognize internally.

It's hard to see your reflection without a mirror.

I have learned through trial and tribulation that left unchecked this frustration I feel will lead to depression and that is a slippery slope I don't care to go down, been there done that, it sucks.


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: nuentoter]
    #22721618 -

Stay cool Nuentoter. Keep working the bellows and finding ways to vent. Sounds like it's just what you've got to do.

Quote:
Pneuma ("breath") passes through all (other) bodies; in its outward motion it gives them the qualities that they have, and in its inward motion makes them unified objects (Nemesius, 47J).


- Notes from a recluse

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: nuentoter] * 1
    #22721627 -

nuentoter said:
Breathe and clarity, breathe and clarity.


Thank you my friends. I love you all and truly mean that


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: nuentoter]
    #22722159 -

nuentoter said:
I already have my next trip planned but only after the baby is here and the wife is healed up. Otherwise too much background worry.she's due in 23 days so I have to be available and "with it" at any moments notice from here on out.

I don't normally confide in others about anything, but right now I just need to vent and my wife would be an inappropriate person to vent these frustrations to. I firmly believe that all problems and solutions come from within, sometimes though they are hard to recognize internally.

It's hard to see your reflection without a mirror.

I have learned through trial and tribulation that left unchecked this frustration I feel will lead to depression and that is a slippery slope I don't care to go down, been there done that, it sucks.


Yes, it is very wise to express how you feel here and not bottle it up!

Try and create good vibes with your woman, because the baby in her belly will be feeling all vibes

i came up with a theory that woman anciently would take some form of psychedelic in childbirth, because they can -amongst other things-release restrictive tensions. I have found, from recording myself singing on shrooms there is more breath!
In the Garden of Eden myth, I think it is an early patriarchal document and myth forbidding us of having access to psychedelic fruit, and this is reason women are told they must now forever suffer pain in childbirth

I asked these so-called experts into this subject this once, and the denied it

But more recently I found an article that confirmed my theory, but have forgotten where I have filed it lol

MAYBE psychedelic birthing would help mama and baby

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Re: Growing frustration and the pressure within [Re: zzripz]
    #22722525 -

Husbands of pregnant women, almost due, with kids have it rough, always have, always will. Family life can be as difficult as anything. I am a single old man, I have no wish to repeat that part of my journey.

I was at the birth of one of my grandchildren, the labor went on for hours and hours. My daughter found that moving standing up was what helped her deal with the contractions. She is short, just over five feet, and my son in law is more like six feet, and he held her for hours as they shuffled, back and forth across the floor. I cannot imagine the pain in his lower back, bending over. They tried for the no anesthetic natural birth, but after a whole night of this some pain medicine was needed by my daughter. But she stayed awake for the birth. It seems a biological journey beyond the individual. But of course the individuals go thru intense and changing emotions.

If you're into meditation at all, tonglen meditation, might be worth exploring.

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