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OfflineMANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/02/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Pain and Frustration, my way to vent
    #1689225 - 07/06/03 02:00 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

These last few weeks have been hard, I've lost many things, and lost respect for someone I cared for very much. I've been fucked by someone i trusted most, and im still going through hell. For some reason ive been inspired to write, i don't know why because I have never written stuff like this before.... just take a read and tell me what you think, any opinion is appreciated.

I was ready 4 whatever, as long as we could do it together
I guess I took it for granted, thought i'd be happy forever
Now my view of the world is slanted, ive changed, once again rearranged
Still really confused, feeling strange, im the victim of change
just trying to keep my head on straight, but its been hard lately
after things changed from good to great, there was nothing to fade me
But now i've learned, not to set myself up for getting burned
the pressure on my brain increased rapidly after change to the game
never felt that way before, on the verge of feeling my head exploding
Like i can see my heart bleeding on the floor,now i feel my head imploding
feelings corroding and its like a dream eroding
Just wanted to open that door, because I was screaming for more
loved the way i felt, like it had never been before
because after all the bullshit, and after losing you
I Couldn't help feeling blue, hostile and wild, trying to start shit
and after all of the pain ive received from the game
and I'm still me no matter how i feel and no matter how unreal it gets
and I'm still MANNALORD forever, no matter if my lifes the shits
and I'm Still Ready 4 Whatever........

:nonono:


--------------------
Live and Die in FALL RIVER


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OfflineMANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/02/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1689227 - 07/06/03 02:01 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

how do i deal with my problems, seems i can never find a way to solve em'
a constant and frustrating anger got me screamin at some poor stranger
should i say fuck it and let it go, or relax and just go with the flow?
Who knows? but i do know that this stress is really starting to show
im not the same, heart feeling dead cold from the pain
its a shame, I never thought i'd be feeling hatred for the game
simply cant deal with this, or how I feel anymore
I should have closed the door, but i left it open
now I'm gettin even more, the pains got my mind feelin broken
the ordeal's left a hole in my chest, smokin
its real, not cool, bringin my whole psyche down, more than a big deal
I'm freaking out, cant control the anger, its leaking out...


--------------------
Live and Die in FALL RIVER


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Offlinegedezia
backlash
Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 60
Loc: heaven
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1689275 - 07/06/03 02:33 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

wow.. i dont know at the moment what to say to your writings but.. i really liked your "poem" (dont know if i should label it that or not) but.. your arrangement of words was.. it reminded me of lauryn hill, but better. a remarkable flowing quality to it. should be sung!!! you said youve never felt this way before/ as you have the recent days.. and i havent either, felt the same. and its not feeling the same towards one thing, its feeling different towards EVERYTHING.. a piece of YOU is missing... i dont know what to say, other than you know something now that you didnt know FULLY earlier.. learning.. or realization. its a bitch, life is a bitch.. all you need to do is keep yourself alive and follow your heart.. (sounds corny, eh?) but you know who YOU are.. you know what YOU want.. and you know that nothing this "world" can throw at YOU can really change ANYTHING.. youre "fire" remains. that poem and just the way you use words makes me selfishly hope you post something again. farewell


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: gedezia]
    #1689756 - 07/06/03 11:00 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Sorry if this is annoying sounding, but it sounds like a real positive learning experience to me. Like you said, you're not gonna set yourself up for a fall again. Your down to earth man.. It's all up to you now.


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OfflineMANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/02/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: Grav]
    #1690593 - 07/06/03 06:18 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Thanks, I appreciate everything you said about my "poems" raps, writings whatever you wish to call them. I know I will keep writing, because I know that even tho things have NEVER seemed worse, they are going to get worse, I can tell. I just gotta keep my head up, try and make things easier for myself and remain optimistic. I just cant wait to see what else this cruel world will throw my way, maybe ill break an arm or a leg, its the physical pain i can deal with, the emotional shit leaves me broken... :nonono:


--------------------
Live and Die in FALL RIVER


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OfflineGixxer_boy
Rice Burner

Registered: 06/24/03
Posts: 149
Loc: Mass
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1690726 - 07/06/03 07:22 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Emotional pain is alot like physical pain, they both heal if treated properly. But, if you let your emotional injuries run off and warped into deeper and deeper pains, its just gonna get worse and worse.


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"Why do women have breasts?"
......
....
...
..
.
"So you can have something to look at when you're talking to them!" -Peter Griffin


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OfflineMANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/02/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: Gixxer_boy]
    #1693220 - 07/07/03 03:30 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Physical Pain comes and goes, emotional pain stays awhile and scars.... I have been dealing with myself alright though, I think things are finally starting to get better, but im sure there will be more shit thrown my way I know it.


--------------------
Live and Die in FALL RIVER


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InvisibleJellric
altered statesman

Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 2,261
Loc: non-local
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1693989 - 07/07/03 08:09 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

One thing I would say in a time like this, be very careful of the words you're repeating to yourself inside your head. They tend to become your reality. As an example, a quote from your post "I know that even tho things have NEVER seemed worse, they are going to get worse, I can tell..." Statements like that, while understandable, are self-defeating.

I remember I was going through a hard time and when I began to monitor my "internal dialogue" I found myself repeating, "I'm tired of life." Well, whenever I found myself saying that, I would tack on.."but I'm going to keep going." It sounds trite, but the words and things we tell ourselves are very powerful. We are all writing the scripts to our lives- so try to do it consciously and as positively as possible! Be on your own side- if YOU aren't for you, who will be?



--------------------
I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.


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Invisibletomatoes
you say tomatoe

Registered: 06/13/03
Posts: 180
Loc: and i say . . .
Re: Pain and Frustration, my way to vent [Re: Jellric]
    #1694068 - 07/07/03 08:37 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Jellric said: It sounds trite, but the words and things we tell ourselves are very powerful.




that's about as good as it gets.



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