billy jowl said:

On the history channels "banned from the Bible" Jesus supposedly ripped a huge fart as soon as the cross was raised. It was so loud,  Jesus apparently chuckled even in his horrific pain. Adding a temporary humorous moment for all, in an otherwise somber event.

Too damn bad the Bible is so edited

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billy jowl said:

I believe you, but do u know if they sell like cologne paper samples. That'd be more in my budget. I just wanna whiff

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Gresh said:

billy jowl said:

I believe you, but do u know if they sell like cologne paper samples. That'd be more in my budget. I just wanna whiff

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i could prob hook you up. i have lots of contacts in the holy artifacts business

the tabs might be a little brown when they reach you. and worry not that it is on modern cottonelle toilet paper, i assure you that it's Him's feces.

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Omg I feel my first legit trade getting ready to happen

Almond Flour said:

Shiithead said:

billy jowl said:

Almond Flour said:

here are also laws for Muslims on the validity of a prayer if Gass is passed and makes a noticeable noise or smell

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Thank the lord this isn't a Christian law. We'd never here the end of you defending it.

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Actually it wouldn't matter because the only thing Christians are supposed to believe and practice is the belief that Jesus is Lord. And that is the end of it.

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That's a lie. If you think that's the end of it you are In  for a horrific suprise

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Almond Flour said:

Throwing your hands in the air and saying "LORD....I BELIEVE" is not the end of what it means to be a Christian. If you think you can live an unrepentant sinful lifestyle without a single fuck given AND get unto heaven....watch out. And I refuse to play Bible Pokémon with you over this matter, logic will work just fine.

What the fuck is that anyway? It's a bastardized version of faith that isn't even faith at all. It's melting Christ into some psychological security blanket because you and every other "faith alone" Christian doesn't want to accept hell as a reality It bugs you that me, you, and everyone here is vulnerable  to an eternal separation from God. Scripture Alone was a bullshit idea that was pushed from a scrupulous man who abandoned his faith and ran off with a nun. To act like a King James Bible is the be all end all is ludicrous ! Especially when our own brains create reality based off our previous experiances and biases. How on earth can scripture alone be the gold standard when everyone will interpret every passage  and story through his own lense.

There is one Holy Roman Catholic Church  which has stood the test of time, the Orthodox  Churches as well. Protestant  ideas and beliefs have been around 500 years compared to WELL over 1500 years. There are thousands  upon THOUSANDS  of so called "Christian" churches all preaching what they want to see in the gospel.

I promise you shroomery look hard enough and you will find an abortion loving, gay marriage supporting, ganja smoking, mushroom eating, Obama  praising, tree hugging group who calls themselves "Christians". And you know why.....because they "believe"

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Almond Flour said:

Shiithead said:

John 3:16-21

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

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English a second language? I already told you I'm not gonna play bible Pokémon with you, but yes PLENTY of passages speak to the necessity  of actually doing shit as a Christian. Some of your passages might not fully reflect this however. Much was changed, books were taken out of your bible, hell even Revelation  was going to be removed if there wasn't such a public outcry. Like Timothy says...."Faith without works is dead". Maybe that's why he was refered to as the apostle of straw from the reformer Martain Luther. There is allot more to the Bible than simply the Gospel according to John

But what am I wasting my breath for. I better go keep worshipping Mary and the graven images we Catholics love so much Good luck though if you decide to actually think critically about your faith, the Bible, or what Catholics actually believe and practice.

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