Home | Community | Message Board
You are not signed in.
Sign In New Account
Forum Index Search Posts Trusted Vendors Highlights Galleries FAQ User List Chat Store Random Growery


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.

Community > The Pub
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 |  [ show all ]
Farting etiquette
    #4738784 -

Do you have any special tricks or techniques for farting in public?

Today one of my techniques was thwarted. It was near closing time in a mall. I was in a store pretty much alone. But, there were still some people milling about. I felt a very big and long fart coming on. I thought I would do the "slow release and walk fast" technique. This is where I let the fart out continuously in a slow manner while I walk at a brisk pace. This spreads it out and makes it probable that nobody will smell it.

Unfortunately, there was a woman who was about twenty feet behind me the whole time. I didn't see her until I was done farting. She was exactly in my path and she was going in the same direction. She had to have smelled my ass thunder.

I know that I was busted.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738791 -

I don't think I have ever farted while moving now that you've got me

thinking about it.


When standing still, I just make sure I'm downwind.  :grin: :thumbup:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738792 -

:rofl2:  I just let it go silently, no techniques really.


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738793 -

Meh I don't care unless I'm in a tight enclosed area...

I usually try to spread the ass a lil bit so it escaped silently, then I keep goin

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738799 -

Yeah I def. hafta stop walking also, I can't fart on the move

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: Boom]
    #4738805 -

:lol:

Yeah, I'm afraid I'll shart if I don't stop moving.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738814 -

I used to fart while I ran track.

Usually felt as if I shit my pants...


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4738816 -

McKennaFan200 said:
:rofl2:  I just let it go silently, no techniques really.


99% of the time when you try to make your fart silent it works.  But, there is that 1% of the time when your sphincter decides to betray you and you get a fairly loud sound that everybody hears.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738828 -

:lolz0rz:
i just blame it on the guy next to me


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738835 -

License_to_Chill said:
I used to fart while I ran track. 

Usually felt as if I shit my pants...


:thumbdown: shart :thumbdown:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738843 -

Yea, because my ass would be so sweaty that I couldn't tell if my bowels tricked me. :frown:


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738844 -

:thumbdown: swamp-ass :thumbdown:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738845 -

:lol: funny story haha


I usually don't care who i'm around or how inclosed I am, i'll fart loud and proud! Faaarrrrt :puke: :grin:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738849 -

WeAreAllOne said:
:thumbdown: swamp-ass :thumbdown:


Ahh, swamp-ass is THE worst. Boxer briefs usually cause it for me

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738854 -

Side Note- Love the sig man. I wanna hear "Welcome to Planet Motherfucker/Psychoholic Slag" so badly right now!


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4738857 -

Thats why I haven't worn underwear in nearly 3 years.  Feels good to dangle loose. :thumbup:


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738873 -

jesus christ man :handth:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738880 -

Commando!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738882 -

I fart a lot, come on I drink beer..I just let it out when no one is around...all at once. sometimes it comes out so what?? just dont shit your pants instead..:lol:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: Skunk420]
    #4738891 -

My job is pretty laid back... If there are no customers around my boss and i have competitions.


--------------------
Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.
-Tupac Shakur

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 |  [ show all ]

Community > The Pub
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* When girls fart
( 1 2 all )		 moon_glue 3,669 38 02/09/09 02:58 PM
by grewya
* Pooping etiquette (danger, very funny!)
( 1 2 all )		 daba 6,571 30 12/23/15 08:35 PM
by Cowb0yNeal00
* do u like the smell of ur own farts
( 1 2 all )		 DeadPhan 2,348 25 05/10/09 08:41 AM
by Goomba
* Why is farting funny?
( 1 2 3 4 all )		 Edge 6,400 60 06/23/08 08:57 PM
by Cannabischarlie
* Farts. (thppppppt) NewbieS 551 12 06/12/09 06:10 PM
by Gumby
* farting while no one is around....
( 1 2 3 all )		 Cannabischarlie 4,030 48 06/25/08 08:13 PM
by Cannabischarlie
* The Etiquette Thread
( 1 2 3 all )		 daimyo 3,087 45 10/21/05 06:07 PM
by Veritas
* Smoking Etiquette
( 1 2 3 all )		 VoidOfsPg 6,065 44 12/02/05 11:55 AM
by Drink_Punk_Soda

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
6,475 topic views. 10 members, 64 guests and 251 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2026 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.028 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 18 queries.