Home | Community | Message Board


High Mountain Compost
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> The Pub

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Farting etiquette
    #4738784 - 09/30/05 11:16 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Do you have any special tricks or techniques for farting in public?

Today one of my techniques was thwarted. It was near closing time in a mall. I was in a store pretty much alone. But, there were still some people milling about. I felt a very big and long fart coming on. I thought I would do the "slow release and walk fast" technique. This is where I let the fart out continuously in a slow manner while I walk at a brisk pace. This spreads it out and makes it probable that nobody will smell it.

Unfortunately, there was a woman who was about twenty feet behind me the whole time. I didn't see her until I was done farting. She was exactly in my path and she was going in the same direction. She had to have smelled my ass thunder.

I know that I was busted.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738791 - 09/30/05 11:18 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

I don't think I have ever farted while moving now that you've got me

thinking about it.


When standing still, I just make sure I'm downwind.  :grin: :thumbup:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineMcKennaFan200
AmateurGairologist

Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 5,395
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738792 - 09/30/05 11:19 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

:rofl2:  I just let it go silently, no techniques really.


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleBoom
Supervisor
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,245
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738793 - 09/30/05 11:19 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Meh I don't care unless I'm in a tight enclosed area...

I usually try to spread the ass a lil bit so it escaped silently, then I keep goin


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleBoom
Supervisor
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,245
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738799 - 09/30/05 11:20 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I def. hafta stop walking also, I can't fart on the move


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: Boom]
    #4738805 - 09/30/05 11:21 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

:lol:

Yeah, I'm afraid I'll shart if I don't stop moving.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineLicense_to_Chill
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 4,979
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738814 - 09/30/05 11:24 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

I used to fart while I ran track.

Usually felt as if I shit my pants...


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4738816 - 09/30/05 11:25 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

McKennaFan200 said:
:rofl2:  I just let it go silently, no techniques really.




99% of the time when you try to make your fart silent it works.  But, there is that 1% of the time when your sphincter decides to betray you and you get a fairly loud sound that everybody hears.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDeathCompany
Oneironaut
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,658
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738828 - 09/30/05 11:28 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

:lolz0rz:
i just blame it on the guy next to me


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738835 - 09/30/05 11:29 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

License_to_Chill said:
I used to fart while I ran track. 

Usually felt as if I shit my pants...




:thumbdown: shart :thumbdown:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineLicense_to_Chill
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 4,979
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738843 - 09/30/05 11:30 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Yea, because my ass would be so sweaty that I couldn't tell if my bowels tricked me. :frown:


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738844 - 09/30/05 11:31 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

:thumbdown: swamp-ass :thumbdown:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineCaptain Loafy McPoopdick
(4 1 2)

Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 6,571
Loc: 1 5 1 3 6
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738845 - 09/30/05 11:31 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

:lol: funny story haha


I usually don't care who i'm around or how inclosed I am, i'll fart loud and proud! Faaarrrrt :puke: :grin:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineCaptain Loafy McPoopdick
(4 1 2)

Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 6,571
Loc: 1 5 1 3 6
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4738849 - 09/30/05 11:32 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

WeAreAllOne said:
:thumbdown: swamp-ass :thumbdown:




Ahh, swamp-ass is THE worst. Boxer briefs usually cause it for me


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineMcKennaFan200
AmateurGairologist

Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 5,395
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738854 - 09/30/05 11:32 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Side Note- Love the sig man. I wanna hear "Welcome to Planet Motherfucker/Psychoholic Slag" so badly right now!


--------------------


"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineLicense_to_Chill
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/12/04
Posts: 4,979
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #4738857 - 09/30/05 11:33 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Thats why I haven't worn underwear in nearly 3 years.  Feels good to dangle loose. :thumbup:


--------------------
"I sat on the bus next to God once,
he told me about the true meaning of life...
then he gave me a pretzel..."


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDeathCompany
Oneironaut
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,658
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738873 - 09/30/05 11:36 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

jesus christ man :handth:


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineWeAreAllOne
Opethian

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 2,649
Loc: Pennsylvania
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: License_to_Chill]
    #4738880 - 09/30/05 11:38 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

Commando!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleSkunk420
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4738882 - 09/30/05 11:38 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

I fart a lot, come on I drink beer..I just let it out when no one is around...all at once. sometimes it comes out so what?? just dont shit your pants instead..:lol:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineredrum187
The Man Who Sold The World
 User Gallery
Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 1,104
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: Farting etiquette [Re: Skunk420]
    #4738891 - 09/30/05 11:40 PM (11 years, 4 months ago)

My job is pretty laid back... If there are no customers around my boss and i have competitions.


--------------------
Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.
-Tupac Shakur


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >  [ show all ]

Community >> The Pub

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* When girls fart
( 1 2 all )
moon_glue 2,832 38 02/09/09 02:58 PM
by grewya
* Why do Farts make Noise???
( 1 2 3 all )
just me 3,948 59 08/22/08 02:48 AM
by thatsstupid
* Pooping etiquette (danger, very funny!)
( 1 2 all )
daba 3,803 30 12/23/15 08:35 PM
by Cowb0yNeal00
* Do you fart freely or are you a silent stinker?
( 1 2 3 4 all )
MOTH 3,211 79 11/23/08 11:40 PM
by filthee
* Why is farting funny?
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Edge 4,061 60 06/23/08 08:57 PM
by Cannabischarlie
* I farted really loud in class today and everyone laughed
BrainChemicals
967 13 10/08/07 09:37 PM
by Skunk420
* farting while no one is around....
( 1 2 3 all )
Cannabischarlie 2,815 48 06/25/08 08:13 PM
by Cannabischarlie
* The Etiquette Thread
( 1 2 3 all )
daimyo 2,015 45 10/21/05 06:07 PM
by Veritas

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
5,147 topic views. 27 members, 191 guests and 87 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
The Spore Depot
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.051 seconds spending 0.003 seconds on 16 queries.