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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
Halloween.
    #2046348 - 10/27/03 03:00 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

Hello closet Christians. I have decided through much soul searching and many conversations with the Savior that this will be a very special post. Realizing that I have already converted many posters who are easily swayed by hard-hitting essays and solid facts, I have decided to begin saving the rest of you in other ways. Starting next Thursday, I will be tracking each of you down individually via your IP addresses and watching you, adding to each of your profiles. When I feel the time is right, I will confront you and save you one by one.

But that may take time. And so, for tonight's post, I have decided to make history and tear down a wicked, demonic institution that has worked its way into classrooms and discount stores all across America. I am talking about "Halloween." It's no accident that the first six letters spell "hollow", for this is a far from a a day with any substance, unless the substance is sugar and evil.

Year after year, billions of Christians nationwide allow their children to participate in this disgusting holiday, to frolic with monsters and get chummy with Satan. Most likely the only reason they allow it is because they don't know the true origin of this celebration. All one really needs to do is examine the word:

Root word "Hallow" = "sinful night"
Suffix "een" = "full of"
Thus, "Hallow-een" = "Satan's night full of sin."

The annual celebration of "Halloween" actually began with the English Druids in the late 15th century. Upon sundown on October 31st, the Druids would roam the English countryside, rounding up as many Christian women and children as they could find and then dragging them back to their bat caves. They would then hold those Christian women and children hostage for the next 5 hours, performing bizarre sexual rituals on them. And when that was over with, as the sun rose up over the English horizon, the Druids would finish by eating their hostages one-by-one, justifying it as a form of "communion" and chanting, "tireck or tireates!", Latin for "Let us dine on Christian blood."

Now that you know the grizzly origins of this "all-in-good-fun" holiday, the question becomes, what can we, as good Christians, do about it? Well, Christians, I am sure you don't let your children hang around with the Druid kids at school, so why let them frolic with them at night?

I, in conjunction with Jack Chick Publications and the Pat Buchanon Anti-Defamation League, have come up with some intriguing alternative suggestions for good Christians to do this Halloween.

1. First, do not let your children out of your sight on Halloween night. According to the October 2002 issue of Family First, Satanic kidnappings on Halloween night are up 64% from 1985, and many Satanic "missionaries" have been spotted on the streets, directing our children into the hands of their sick blasphemy. These "missionaries" are often dressed as crossing guards.

2. Instead, spend Halloween at home. Make the sinful night into a family night. I suggest that Christians actually celebrate a counter-holiday on this date, to rebel against the Satanic establishment in the the U.S. Something that "edifies the body" and "welcomes Jesus into the home." While a name has not yet been definitively chosen, rumor has it that the Family First Decency Council is wavering between "Christmaseen" ('krist-muss-een) and "Eastereen" ('east-er-een).

3. Don't do anything to make this holiday at all enjoyable for the other neighborhood children. Doing so would only help to perpetuate it for one more year. This Halloween, when Satan's followers show up at your door begging for candy (this was the ploy the original Druids used to gain access to Christian homes), taunt and mock their wicked costumes. If they give a fuss, give them a shot in the face with a squirt gun. Those kids will sure think twice before knocking on another door!

4. No matter what, don't give out candy; give Bibles instead. Or better yet, give the kids a few subscription cards for daily bread magazine. Tell the little goblins to fill them out and mail them in on their own, "as a surprise to mom and dad." You may also wish to hand out Jack Chick comics; kids can't resist them! Another good idea: While your atheist neighbors are handing out condoms and promoting their atheist myth of "safe sex," you could keep the children who come to your door safely locked inside your home until the night is over, to keep them safe.

5. Know this: The media can work on your side. All we as Christians need to do is create an issue. I suggests placing several small pins in tootsie rolls and then phoning the local news station. If enough of us do it, it could be enough to start a media "crisis," and Halloween will gradually die out from fear. Another notable suggestion is to just give those special tootsie rolls to the Druid children who show up at your door. In that way, you'd be killing two birds with one stone.

Christians, just follow these five easy suggestions, or mix-mix-and-match and add some of your own, and Halloween will no longer be a threat to our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ.

One more thing I want to address before I retire to Hooters for the evening is the promogulation of atheism on the Internet. It seems like there are perhaps hundreds of people all over the world who have not yet been led to Jesus. I know that atheism is usually just the result of bad breeding or sexual abuse as a child, but I am beginning to think there may be a few exceptions to that rule. I read a report in the JAMA recently linking atheism to Scholiosis and SIDS. It said that people with Scholiosis are about 4 times more likely than those without to become atheists as a result of damage to their spinal cord and/or brain stem. It also said that atheist babies are almost 40 times more likely to die from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) than Christian babies are. I feel that these people are probably beyond saving and so I will concentrate my efforts on those of you who are either poorly-bred or suffered abuse as a children. I consider it my public service to you.

Also, I read an article on one of the web sites the other day, and I couldn't believe what I saw. Who could write such a thing? Atheists, I ask you, isn't that a blatant contradiction of your own argument? Again, think about it.

Goodnight and God Bless :heart: 

 


--------------------
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,851
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 3 months, 12 days
Re: Halloween. [Re: John]
    #2046422 - 10/27/03 03:31 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

:grin: Quite the enteraining read. Thanks, man. hehe
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflineNiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'
Female User Gallery

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
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Re: Halloween. [Re: John]
    #2046427 - 10/27/03 03:32 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

That was great. Thanks:p


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InvisiblealakonaS
I threw my slippers at the beast
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/09/03
Posts: 14,721
Loc: ville.
Re: Halloween. [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2046439 - 10/27/03 03:42 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

wait, jtryp, are you serious?

I thought this was a joke the whole time.

Sorry, man.


--------------------
making you want to be a better person since 2008. 

idiotek said:
  How do I get Alakona to like me? Fucking skank won't show me any tits, why should I give her a cock shot?¬† Fuck that. I figure if I fill her PM box with my dick photo, it's almost the same thing as filling her real box with my real dick?

TrippinTeddy said:
sometimes when I'm raping a bitch, I like to tickle her ribs and under neath her arms, and I say "loosen up bitch, lets have fun now because if I have to kill your squirming ass, only one of us will be having fun, and you can't have a party all by yourself can you?" Then its usually all laughs and good times from there.


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InvisibleMystical_Craven
mentally illpsychonaught

Registered: 06/16/02
Posts: 439
Loc: Earth
Re: Halloween. [Re: alakona]
    #2046508 - 10/27/03 04:19 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

this has to be a joke...cause if it's not - jtryp is grossly misinformed about a number of things


--------------------


"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go..." T.S. Eliot


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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
Re: Halloween. [Re: Mystical_Craven]
    #2046516 - 10/27/03 04:24 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

Like what sir? Please inform me of what I'm grossly misinformed about.


--------------------
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Halloween. [Re: John]
    #2046609 - 10/27/03 06:00 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

jtryptamine I have just lost all respect for you.

Do you think you are the first christian to spread complete bullshit about other religions? You fuckers do it all the time.

I assume you know that atheism and satanism were created by christian twats, pushing people further away from them than closer to "unity with god"

Halloween wouldnt be celebrated in america because the whole country is full of money grabbing bastards. No perish the thought. People celebrating uneccesary festivals in order to make money, seems like an unusual concept. Not like christmas at all *cough*

Halloween is a festival designed to ward off evil spirits you dumb fuck. Ok maybe one or two people got murdered in the entire history of the festival, but its pretty damn likely that the christians just claimed these people were pagans.

Christians are hardly the people to point the finger when it comes to murders either. Witch hunts - 6 million killed. Religious crusades - hard to keep track.

Perhaps in christians thought about what they said more, we wouldnt have ridiculous posts like this.

p.s. statement retracted if ur joking but I dont know :S


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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Halloween. [Re: Oook]
    #2046621 - 10/27/03 06:13 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

hehe my friends telling me to delete my previous post, but what i said is true regardless of whether j was joking or not.


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InvisibleJellric
altered statesman

Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 2,261
Loc: non-local
Re: Halloween. [Re: John]
    #2046741 - 10/27/03 08:31 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)



--------------------
I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.


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Invisiblereflectedlight
in town untilthe blood flows
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 926
Loc: aether
Re: Halloween. [Re: Jellric]
    #2046777 - 10/27/03 09:34 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

Yes it's a joke, kind of funny I guess.... this is the same guy that photoshopped 'theshiftingwalls' picture and added a dick to it..


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at this point i think we can be relatively certain seperation exists as a fallacy of finite perception, and the only barrier to infinite creativity is a preimposed notion of certainty and artificial conditioning. nothing is without origin


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
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Re: Halloween. [Re: Jellric]
    #2046791 - 10/27/03 09:42 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

... verbatim copy from http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/anne%604.htm except for the heart at the bottom and the removal of the actual authors name...


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Halloween. [Re: Seuss]
    #2046824 - 10/27/03 10:10 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

crazy old granny babbles about god and stuff. I think its bloody insulting that anyone can dare to imply that your life is in any way worse if you are a non christian.

I think quite a lot of people have missed the point that it is meant to be your choice in whatever beliefs you follow, not for some narrow minded bible basher to cram erronous facts down your through and believe they are doing some good.


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
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Re: Halloween. [Re: Oook]
    #2046839 - 10/27/03 10:18 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

I think my favorite line in that forsaken tirade is:

> ...justifying it as a form of "communion" and chanting, "tireck or tireates!", Latin for "Let us dine on Christian blood."

My latin isn't very good, but it isn't that bad... :smile:


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Halloween. [Re: Oook]
    #2046840 - 10/27/03 10:18 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

this is another exert from crazy granny:
"The force created by the Earth's spinning is called "gravity." Gravity is what makes life on earth possible and it is what makes earth unique in the universe. If the Earth weren't created solely for life, why then would it have gravity? And how come no other planets in our solar system have gravity or support life? I'd like to, just once, get a reasonable answer to that question from an atheist. But all I usually get are threats, name-calling, intimidation and mockery.

Gravity is a lot like God because you have to believe in it in order for it to work. I am certain that there is no one on earth today who doesn't believe in the force of gravity. If any of you disagree, try to find me just one person who doesn't believe that there is such a thing as gravity. I'm betting you won't be able to, because if someone actually didn't believe in gravity, they would have floated away a long time ago. That is why gravity is not like God. Even if you don't believe in God, he believes in YOU enough to keep the world spinning long enough to give you a chance to accept him.

I also notice that atheists seem to worship the god of logic. Well, I think it is fairly simple to prove God along those terms. Here is a simple, logical sentence which is irrefutable, and I have used it many times over the years to convert some of the patients that come into my hospital.

God created man. Man exists. Therefore, God exists.

It is really a very solid argument.

It also strikes me as downright ridiculous to claim that life could have arisen from natural processes here on earth. If that were the case, it would be happening all the time. Atheists, why aren't new creatures constantly climbing out of puddles of goo as we speak? Plus, if it actually were possible to create life from goo, rest assured that we would've done it by now. After all, I think it's a safe bet that everything that can be invented already has been, and every sceintific theory has already been tested and proven to either be true or false, so why have we not heard any word from the scientific community on the issues of God and gravity? Is it because they just want more money to further their careers? I think so.

For me, though, the only proof that I ever needed to validate my beliefs was the Bible. For one thing, the Bible is one of the only religious books that has had many different authors, but has remained virtually unchanged for more than 20 centuries. Another thing, it says right in it that all the other religions are false and that Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven. It is the only book that makes that claim and the only book that addresses the issue of other religions.

If more people would come to accept Jesus Christ as their own personal savior, we would be much better off. If we could just get a big enough consensus in the U.S. and get the liberals out of office, we would be able to send a missionary "invasion" if you will, to all those war-torn Muslem, Jew, and Hindu countries. Then the world could finally unite for peace. Wouldn't that be nice? I have never met an atheist who was against peace.

Furthermore, if groups of people right here in our own county (homosexuals, for example) would turn away from their sin and into Jesus' arms, D.V.D. and AIDS would no longer be a problem. The gang and drug problem would fade into non-existence, and the streets would finally be safe to walk at night.

Please take a little time to think about my article today. It could, in the end, help to save your soul."

Can anyone see the validity in anything at all she says?


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
Re: Halloween. [Re: Oook]
    #2046887 - 10/27/03 10:50 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

Don't judge all by the actions of a few....
Many claim to be Christian, but really aren't.


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Anonymous

Re: Halloween. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #2046918 - 10/27/03 11:10 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

imo, the best part of halloween is the catholic school girl costumes :grin:


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
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Re: Halloween. [Re: John]
    #2046964 - 10/27/03 11:42 AM (14 years, 28 days ago)

Wow. If you were serious, I'm gonna be sick.

So much misinformation I don't even know where to start.

I'll just point out the christian fallacies.

Don't do anything to make this holiday at all enjoyable for the other neighborhood children
taunt and mock their wicked costumes. If they give a fuss, give them a shot in the face with a squirt gun

Yep this sounds about right.. though in the old days they would just kill them. It's the christian way. Suck the fun out of everything... taunt, judge and humiliate people, and attack them physically.

No matter what, don't give out candy; give Bibles instead
Yeah...that's the ticket....spread the evil. We all know how the Bible teaches to hate your neighbor, and spread lies, hatred and deception. Kill everyone that isn't christian. :wink:


I suggests placing several small pins in tootsie rolls and then phoning the local news station. If enough of us do it, it could be enough to start a media "crisis," and Halloween will gradually die out from fear

Another brilliant christian diabolical plot...

I have a hard time believing you were serious.. if you are..man..
Wouldn't really shock me though... standard christian self-righteousness and judgemental hypocrisy. Druids own Christians, btw.
 


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InvisibleJohn
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
Re: Halloween. [Re: Shroomism]
    #2046998 - 10/27/03 12:05 PM (14 years, 28 days ago)

C'mon now I can't believe so many people though I was serious. Seuss (godamnit you I wanted to debated all those telling me I was wrong) already posted the link where I pulled the artice and I just cut and paste and changed a few pronouns to stir up some shit, and I figured some of you would enjoy the read. Plus I like to debate a religion I'm well versed in christian beliefs. When I get the time I'll right my own views probably more offensive than this was.


--------------------
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 10 months, 10 days
Re: Halloween. [Re: John]
    #2047016 - 10/27/03 12:11 PM (14 years, 28 days ago)

> C'mon now I can't believe so many people though I was serious.

I had a pretty good flame post going before I sat back and started to think about who the poster was and how "out there" the post was. It is amazing just how shallow some people can become (the old hag, not you, J-amine).


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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OfflineSoHei
Stranger
Registered: 09/13/03
Posts: 3
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: Halloween. [Re: John]
    #2047033 - 10/27/03 12:15 PM (14 years, 28 days ago)

This tryp of "a bad dream" makes some interesting points, all of you obsequious pagans should take heed before the day of judgement is upon us.

REPENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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