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I'm going in fucking sane here!
    #17212077 -

I can't sit in one place for more than one month it drives me insane I feel like I get trapped by life. I've quit jobs over this and I feel like walking out on my boyfriend and I told him I'd watch his house while he's taking care of his mom and dad. His mom broke here femur and his dad has Alzheimer's. I just get in moods where I pack up and move and don't tell any one I'm leaving and don't even bother answering my phone when they notice I'm gone. Even though I can leave and go out and do stuff it makes me crazy to work in some small ass building or live in one place longer than a month. It feels like fucking jail. I feel like walking out on every one and I've felt this way for a while. what do you guys think is wrong. I'm suppose to have my first psychiatry appointment in February for mood swings. I've been diagnosed with depression a while back but I quit taking my meds because I told my doctor they didn't work so he changed them and those didn't work either.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17212094 -

I'd say invite me over while your bf is gone and we could smoke some weed and eat some shrooms--- then it may not feel like your trapped :eek: (your a girl right?? lol)

but seriously i know how you feel about living in one place to long--- i honestly dont know what causes it, but i've found that you just need to feel comfertable in your environment if your not comfertable find out what it is thats causing that feeling-- for me it was the people i was staying with or working with... ohh yea smoke lots of weed cuz like kat williams said weed has a thing called "fuck it"

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #17212134 -

No I'm a guy. But the thing is I dont know what is causing it. I know i hate the people in my life but I'm not around them and I still feel that way. I can't get any weed cus my dude Jacob got arrested when they told him he had to appear as a witness to a crime and charged him with trafficking, attempt to sale to a minor, possession of illegal narcotics, and possession of 1g of weed. He didn't have any thing on him and all the cops he's ran in to never said any thing about warrants to him. We does make me feel fuck it but that doesn't help I need a long term fix. I think I need to move where I can see for long ass distances in all directions but I love the citys vibes when downtown. I used to live in the country and I was all right except for the people I lived with I just liked the feeling of being able to go any where. I know I can here but it's not the same. Money and life keep weighing me down so I'm stuck in one spot. I wanna make bongs and plugs and tunnels for a living but I can't hold a job long enough to save up the money for every thing really fast. I all most every thing for tunnels and plugs but I have nothing for glass blowing. I feel like I'm not fee. I experience joy but I'm not joy full. I for get what emotions feel like half the time and crave the ones I've experienced but I'm not able to get close enough to any one for them.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #17212166 -

see a therapist, this urge to flee is likely due to some fear you have that you seem to be running from.

don't wait till your 50 to realize how many possible good people you treated like less than human.

if you must leave, by all means do what needs to be done, but atleast show some humanity.

what if the roles were reversed?

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #17212182 -

Anonymous #3 said:
see a therapist, this urge to flee is likely due to some fear you have that you seem to be running from.

don't wait till your 50 to realize how many possible good people you treated like less than human.

if you must leave, by all means do what needs to be done, but atleast show some humanity.

what if the roles were reversed?


I know how they feel. I just freeze up in arguments and emotional situations with people I care about and I can't make myself talk. It's the only reason I haven't left were I'm at right now because me and my boy friend have gone through this all ready once be for when I disappeared.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17212197 -

maybe you should ne talking to him, not an anonymous forum board.

should make you feel better, and if you truely love this person they deserve to know such a thing.

I don't know your situation but maybe you could help him, I'm shure he'd love the company.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17212463 -

Anonymous #1 said:
I'm suppose to have my first psychiatry appointment in February for mood swings.


Might want to talk to a professional sooner than that.

Or what the other poster said and make a constant and concerted effort to confide in friends and family.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #17212631 -

Anonymous #4 said:
Anonymous #1 said:
I'm suppose to have my first psychiatry appointment in February for mood swings.


Might want to talk to a professional sooner than that.

Or what the other poster said and make a constant and concerted effort to confide in friends and family.


That was the soonest they could get me in. I went to the doctor and got a referral and every thing and they told me February but its a long time from now to have to wait for mental issues. I kind of just wanna say fuck it and do what ever but I know that wont help any thing.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17212656 -

Positivity

Edited by Anonymous (11/15/12 05:39 AM)

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17215620 -

Quote:
I quit taking my meds because I told my doctor they didn't work so he changed them and those didn't work either.



of course they didn't work.  a pill can't make you happy or make you sad, that's completely up to you.  it's a choice no matter what your circumstances.  take responsibility for that FACT and your life will smoothen out a bit.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #17221715 -

I'm looking deep into your past.  I see a chaotic childhood riddled with abandonement.  I see that one or both of your parents left you, perhaps your father left you and your mom alone and your mom brought a lot of different guys around that didn't stay long.  Perhaps you moved a lot as well.  Any of this sound familiar?

C'mon tell me.  This sounds like a classic case of abandonment.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #17222701 -

Anonymous #7 said:
I'm looking deep into your past.  I see a chaotic childhood riddled with abandonment.  I see that one or both of your parents left you, perhaps your father left you and your mom alone and your mom brought a lot of different guys around that didn't stay long.  Perhaps you moved a lot as well.  Any of this sound familiar?

C'mon tell me.  This sounds like a classic case of abandonment.


I moved around a bunch. My dad left my mom when I in kindergarten and she was never around because she was all ways working and she was never with any one long until she met the piece of shit Jimmy who's cheating on her and hit's her and we have a keg in or fucking fridge and they goes through it in less than a week. I've all so changed schools because I didn't get along with people.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17223467 -

I feel the same way very often but the dependence of my family on me paycheck is enough to keep me here and working at this job.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #17223585 -

It's good you are seeing a psychiatrist soon. You've been through a lot and it has made you the way you are today, even if you don't like how you are. But you can change yourself. Most psychiatrists will say find a normal, stable mate and stay with them even if you feel like running away. So now you know what made you like this and you know what you want to change about yourself you can work on it. Understand that the urge to escape came from your childhood.

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Re: I'm going in fucking sane here! [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #17229484 -

Anonymous #7 said:
It's good you are seeing a psychiatrist soon. You've been through a lot and it has made you the way you are today, even if you don't like how you are. But you can change yourself. Most psychiatrists will say find a normal, stable mate and stay with them even if you feel like running away. So now you know what made you like this and you know what you want to change about yourself you can work on it. Understand that the urge to escape came from your childhood.

Anonymous #8 said:
I feel the same way very often but the dependence of my family on me paycheck is enough to keep me here and working at this job.



I know i need to escape from my childhood and i just recently moved out of my parents house. I got to see my boyfriend an spend time with him for the first time in over a month and we only spent the night together and he left back for Fortworth/Dallas to take care of his mom and dad again because no one else is helping. Him being here really took my mind off of every thing and I would like some one more stable because we only see each other about 1 a month until I decided to move in to take care of his house while he's taking care of his family. I'll find my own place once he comes back or decides he's gonna go through and move down there. I like people that im in relationships around a lot but the more there around the more I'm desensitized and prone to cheating on the relationship unless were fucking a couple times a week at the least. The relationship im in since were not seeing each other I'm starting to feel like his friend instead of boyfriend. I'm just one of those kind of guys where if you won't keep me busy then I'll find some one who will since I consider sex the intimacy that I don't show while were walking around town or with friends. Do you guys consider that a bad thing? It's every thing for a healthy relationship for me. I like him a lot and he's my best friend but never being around and going through a meth addiction has made him very nonsexual and jealous even though were in a open relationship. I wanna stay around for him but I feel like he pushes me away all of the time. He's all so the kind of guy that when you live with him thinks that he has no me time even if I'm gone all day.

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