No I'm a guy. But the thing is I dont know what is causing it. I know i hate the people in my life but I'm not around them and I still feel that way. I can't get any weed cus my dude Jacob got arrested when they told him he had to appear as a witness to a crime and charged him with trafficking, attempt to sale to a minor, possession of illegal narcotics, and possession of 1g of weed. He didn't have any thing on him and all the cops he's ran in to never said any thing about warrants to him. We does make me feel fuck it but that doesn't help I need a long term fix. I think I need to move where I can see for long ass distances in all directions but I love the citys vibes when downtown. I used to live in the country and I was all right except for the people I lived with I just liked the feeling of being able to go any where. I know I can here but it's not the same. Money and life keep weighing me down so I'm stuck in one spot. I wanna make bongs and plugs and tunnels for a living but I can't hold a job long enough to save up the money for every thing really fast. I all most every thing for tunnels and plugs but I have nothing for glass blowing. I feel like I'm not fee. I experience joy but I'm not joy full. I for get what emotions feel like half the time and crave the ones I've experienced but I'm not able to get close enough to any one for them.
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