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Reaching out to suicide survivors in Bible Belt
    #15663961 -

I don't know how to handle this situation.

About 8 yrs ago my brother killed himself and he died in my arms. Heard the gunshot, ran outside and found him.

Very traumatic, years of therapy, years of family breaking apart. So many questions, no note, no idea, no God, no more love, no fear, no hate... everything in my world just sucked away.

Now I live in the middle of nowhere, Minnesota. You wouldn't even know you drove through my town if I told you. A young kid just outta high school killed himself last weekend.

I really don't like getting into peoples' business. I generally know when to leave well enough alone. I don't even like posting this thread so people know MY business. I'm a very quiet antisocial guy, but I can't help but feel like I need to help these people in any way I can.

So here I am, stuck in a small town where everyone knows everybody's business, four siblings just lost their brother.

And god forbid, of course, that this was a suicide. The town is so religious that there isn't a cemetery for 45 minutes where they can put his ashes. That whole catholic/suicide/sacred ground thing.

I really just wanna say something small to the eldest brother (or father?) that they aren't alone. That was the worst part. Being so, so, so alone even though everyone's around you. Or slip them a small note with my phone number and just something very general.

I went to a survivors of suicide monthly gathering thing when we moved here. It didn't feel right. Jesus Christ himself would walk into the meeting and shoot himself if he saw how sad it was.

I don't know the family at all. I just know there are some young kids out there who need to know it's going to be OK.

If someone handed me a note years ago that said, "Dystopia, you're not expecting a stranger to give this to you. There's hope, there is healing, and I'm here if you want to talk 24/7. If you need someone at 4am I'm available. I went through the same exact thing and I know how hard it is to find someone who understands" I would've felt like the most luckiest person on earth.

I would've called them the next day, ya know?

With this kind of thing, nothing compares to a therapist, counselor, etc than another survivor. You don't truly know what this hell is until you go through it (much like all other traumatic unexpected deaths).

The stigma is terrible, I feel really bad for these folks, and I don't even care if they never call. I just want them to know they can.

Is this none of my business?

Even their "god" isn't there for them on this one.



Dys

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Re: Reaching out to suicide survivors in Bible Belt [Re: Adden]
    #15664080 -

almost the exact same thing happened with my brother as yours. I heard the shot, but he was dead when we found him. he left a note and put a sheet over himself so we didnt have to see him. man i loved him


--------------------
R.I.P
:rockon:

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Re: Reaching out to suicide survivors in Bible Belt [Re: Picoloco]
    #15664140 -

I'm so sorry man :sad:

I loved the hell outta my big bro, but now looking back all these years later he's just a young kid who made a mistake without knowing the ramifications.

It's like a nuclear explosion and having to deal with the fallout.

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Re: Reaching out to suicide survivors in Bible Belt [Re: Adden]
    #15664231 -

personally i feel this would be just as therapeutic for you as it might be for them having a stranger reaching out to them. i lost one of my younger sisters to an accident when i was 16... i'm 41 now and still find myself thinking about her so i can't imagine how it feels to reflect under your circumstances. have you ever thought about becoming involved in facilitating a survivors group? i mean if there were things you didn't like about the group you were in and you think there were others who were wierded out by the sorrow, but you have to keep in mind that when people seek refuge sharing a similar experience it might mean they can't or won't let go. to be honest you seem to be having a hard time with this too which is very cool bro because all it means is you really had a connection with your brother. but you have to be honest with yourself if you're hanging on so tightly out of any guilt... i'm not saying any guilt exists but i know damn well it takes courage to open up completely in an opening post. and you don't need to get into it just know if it's a possibility you must learn to forgive yourself. i'm going to be on and off here today... i'll check up on this later...

PeaCe2U Picoloco 2...

Kensho :psychsplit:

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