We all remember those first crushes. I was just thinking mine I had in middle school. Man...such a fun story. 
This crush was spawned from a dream I had. I swear, I went from never knowing this girl to being completely in love with her over night!
I was in 7th grade. I remember having a dream with her in it. It was completely none sexual...more of just me being with her and having complete euphoria overload...love gushing through every vain in my body. When I woke up, every thought began and ended with the name "Chelsey Burrows."
I literally knew NOTHING about this girl. She was a grade younger than me, so I think I just knew her through student council meetings. I didn't know any of her friends...and she had a sister in my grade, but she was a complete nerd/bitch.
I still remember thinking about ways of telling her I liked her. I would spend hours planning ans scheming how I would introduce myself to her, or different scenarios that would put us both in the same room together.
But I was this little, skinny dork who knew nothing about girls. So I went on, savoring every moment I walked passed her in the quad and wanting her so bad that I'd literally felt heart ache.
I Forget how I came up with the idea, but I remember working on it in computer class. I was going write a love note and be a secret admirer. I would give a lot to see those notes I wrote back then...I know they were cheesy as hell.
I poured my little heart out into this little piece of paper. A folded it into a heart and wrote my name across it, then very carefully, erased it just enough to look like someone’s name was one it...but it was just smudged and erased enough that you couldn't tell whose name.
I knew her locker number, so after about a million paranoid passes, I ran up to the locker and slipped in the note.
It was strange. I liked her so much...but when she was around, I would pretend I didn't notice her. I was so afraid all the time...afraid of looking dumb or being laughed at.
I ended up telling a couple people about my little scheme, and I'm sure they told others, because eventually, she found out it was me who did the love notes (yes, that's plural-I wrote at least three of of them...)
I remember asking people for advice...even my parents. I asked my parents how they met each other. Haha, I still remember my dad changing his tone and going into "father mode" when I asked him that question. My mom was always much better with those sorts of things. Told my older brothers about it (they laughed and probably beat me up). All the advice I got was "hang out with her friends and just say hello." And for the life of me, I couldn't do it.
I found out she knew about the notes one horrible day after school. I had to pick up a handout from my class before I went home. I walked inside the empty class room and I find Chelsey with another girl sitting in the corner of the room. They both looked up and saw me. MY heart just about sunk to the floor. Grinning...she asked me about the notes.
I denied the notes, but my face turned a shade of red I still haven’t topped all these years later. I can still remember the heat moving through my cheeks. I mumbled denials...and sped walked out of the class room....
I was so ashamed at how I acted in that classroom that I avoided her for the next year I was at that school. But deep inside, even after that classroom event, I would've laid down my life for her without a second thought. I went off to high school and slowly forgot about that tom-boy girl that I fell in love with.
Now I'm 21, a virgin, never even kissed a girl. I don't think I've ever felt like that about a girl since. Never anything as intense as that.
Sorry about the awkward, sad ending. But I laugh to myself thinking about those days. It was just too classic. Every now and again I think about tracking her down on myspace. No, I don't feel anything anymore, but just for fun. Ask if she still has those notes.
If I could do it again, I would've stopped in that classroom and talked with her. But it's easy to forget what it's like being an scrawny 7th grader with a crush.
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